A Matter of Perspective
by snapesgirl21
Summary: RE-RELEASED! After splitting up with Morelli, Stephanie decides to pursue a relationship with Ranger. Can both of them change their ways enough to make their relationship work? Same story as was published in 2013, just polished up for errors. Completed.
1. The Wedding March

_**A/N: For those in the know, this is a re-posting of my old stories after I left the fandom for what I thought was forever and ended up being less than a year. See my profile for more details. For those of you who are reading this for the first time, welcome. This was originally written back in 2013. I have gone through and done some polishing before reposting. This story picks up after Notorious Nineteen. Thanks for reading.**_

"Why would I want to be in your cousin's wedding?"

"Because the bridesmaid I was supposed to escort down the aisle broke her leg and Sophia thought you would be a good replacement," Morelli said with a shrug.

Sophia Morelli was marrying Tommy Mangiacavallo in two days and her college roommate, Jackie Lewis, had disqualified herself from the role of bridesmaid after breaking her leg while trying to do a sexy pole dance at the bachelorette party.

"The dress probably won't fit me and I'll bet it's hideous," I said, trying to figure out how many excuses I could come up with to get out of being in this wedding.

Morelli walked over to the closet by his front door and pulled out a black dress bag.

"Sophia sent the dress over and said to try it on. The seamstress said she can squeeze you in today or tomorrow if it needs adjustments," he said, handing me the bag.

I groaned loudly and accepted the bag. This was going to be a disaster. Not only would I have to see Morelli's crazy grandmother, but I'd have to do it in an ugly dress. This was the second wedding in three months' time in which I'd been placed into the wedding party at the last minute. I had been named maid of honor in the wedding of one of Ranger's friends and had been made to wear a horrid pink taffeta dress with a hideous bow only to have the couple elope right before the wedding. I didn't think I was going to get so lucky that Sophia and Tommy would elope before Saturday.

I stomped out of the room and upstairs to Morelli's bedroom to try on the stupid dress. I hoped it was canary yellow and so small that there would be no possible way for it to be altered to fit me. I closed my eyes as I unzipped the bag and pulled the dress out. Opening one eye, my mouth fell open at the sight.

It was a gorgeous black halter dress in satin. I was mesmerized as I stripped out of my t-shirt, bra and jeans and dropped the dress over my head. I hooked the clasp behind my neck and adjusted it so my boobs weren't popping out. It elegantly skimmed the floor and felt dreamy as it moved against my bare legs. I walked over to the mirror in the corner of the room and gasped. The dress was perfect. It fit as though it had been tailored for me originally.

"How's it going?" Morelli asked, knocking on the door.

"You can come in," I said, not able to take my eyes off my reflection.

I saw Morelli walk through the door and stop when he saw my reflection in the mirror.

"Wow, Cupcake. You look great."

I had to agree.

"Okay, I'll be in the wedding," I told him. "Just so I can wear this dress. I've never seen such a great bridesmaid's dress."

Morelli shook his head and picked up his phone to give Sophia the good news while I kept staring at myself in the mirror.

The rehearsal took place the next day at the same church in the Burg that my family attended and that I had gone to for Robert and Amanda Kinsey's wedding a few months earlier. I had put on the conservative blue dress that I wore for family occasions and pulled my hair back in a clip. I dreaded seeing Bella, but figured the sooner the rehearsal was over, the sooner we could get through dinner and get away. She would be occupied tomorrow at the actual wedding, leaving me to enjoy my perfect dress and wedding cake in relative peace.

I was the bridesmaid immediately before the maid of honor, so I gathered in the back of the church with Sophia, Morelli's sister, Cathy, and two other women I didn't know. Cathy was the maid of honor, and I lined up in front of her and behind the two nameless women who kept glaring at me as though I'd stolen their spot in the bridal party hierarchy.

We started the wedding march down the aisle and I locked eyes with Morelli. I was reminded of when I had done this same walk in the other wedding, only headed towards Ranger, who had been the best man. At that rehearsal, I'd had a moment where I'd imagined myself walking down the aisle to marry Ranger. It had been so overwhelming that I'd had a hard time keeping myself together. Looking down the aisle at Morelli, I tried to picture the same situation with him. But as hard as I tried, I couldn't find the same image or emotion in the idea of walking down this aisle to marry him. I started to feel cold and clammy and couldn't picture a blissful wedding. All I could see where the fights that would ensue afterwards, which would span from me quitting my job as a bounty hunter to stay home and pop out babies to staying away from Ranger all together. I felt like I had been kicked in the gut by the time I reached the altar. Morelli and I had been in an off-and-on, semi-exclusive relationship for more years than I cared to think about. We had danced around the idea of marriage, not sure if we could bring ourselves to commit to it or each other. We'd been briefly engaged, mainly to get my family off my back, but there hadn't been any actual plans to get married. We'd lived together before, but those times usually fell apart when one or both of us thought the other was being unreasonable about something.

I gazed back at Morelli, whose expression was serious, but distracted. I wonder if he had been having some of the same _what if_ scenarios running through his head as I had walked down the aisle, though I had no idea if they were as horrifying as the ones I'd had. The priest and couple did a quick pretend walk through of the ceremony then we all proceeded down the aisle for the processional. I grasped Morelli's arm and we walked down behind the best man and maid of honor in silence, avoiding each other's gaze. The awkwardness carried over to the dinner afterwards at _Gioia_ , a new Italian restaurant located just outside the Burg. I tried to ignore it, engaging in conversation with Cathy, who was my age and had been in my class in high school, but it felt like there was an elephant in the room. Thankfully, no one else seemed to notice it.

Once dinner was over and Bella had threatened me with _the eye_ if I made her grandson late for the wedding tomorrow because I was "being a slut", Morelli and I got into his new blue Explorer and drove back to his house. By the time we pulled up in front of the house, I was cracking my knuckles out of nerves. I didn't know how to handle the situation at the church. Morelli was clearly having some thoughts on the matter as well, so I didn't think I'd be able to ignore it.

Morelli turned off the car, but made no move to get out. I had unbuckled my seatbelt, but stopped short of opening my door when I realized he wasn't moving.

"What's going on with us?" he asked, picking at a spot on his steering wheel.

I swallowed, feeling a lump form in my throat. "What do you mean?"

Morelli sighed. "At the church, when you were walking down the aisle towards me, could you picture us getting married?"

So Morelli's mind had gone to the same place as mine.

I bit down on my lower lip, unsure of how to answer the question. To say "no" seemed insensitive, but I didn't want to lie either.

"I tried," I said, hoping that answer would suffice and knowing full well that it wouldn't.

Morelli nodded. "Me too. But all I ended up imaging was us fighting about your job, having kids and you staying away from Ranger."

My eyes widened at this pronouncement. Geez, we'd been on the exact same wavelength.

A quiet "Yeah" was all I finally offered.

We sat there in silence for a few minutes, Morelli kept running his index finger along his upper lip and I nervously jiggled my foot. My mind was running the gamut from break up to elope, wondering if one of them was the right answer or if we should just keep living in the moment the way we had been.

Morelli finally broke the silence. "I've been wondering about this for while. I've been hoping for some sign that would tell me if I was supposed to marry you or if we needed to give it a clean break once and for all. Last week, the head of the Gang Reduction Task Force with the State Police called me, offering me a job down in Camden. I told him I'd need a little time to decide, and was wondering what it meant for us. I didn't know if it meant we needed to break up and I move down to Camden to allow each of us a fresh start or if we were supposed to get married and move to Camden together. I think tonight's trip down the aisle finally showed me which direction we're supposed to head in."

I was stunned not only to learn of the job offer that he'd never told me about, but that he'd been contemplating our future.

"And that is?" I asked, trying to keep my voice level. I knew I was going to be feel miserable no matter which answer he gave me.

"I need to take the job in Camden. Alone. We both need to move on with our lives."

Despite the tears stinging my eyes and a giant lump in my throat, I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Morelli was right. We did love each other, but it was painfully obvious that it would never be enough and we would only be hurting ourselves by going down this road any longer.

Tears began falling down my cheeks as I stared out the window and watched a man walk his dog across the street and into an open garage. I felt Morelli reach over and pat my hand and I turned to look at him. He had tears in his eyes too. I reached across the console and hugged him, knowing we'd reached a moment years in the making. We stayed like that for a minute before pulling apart and wiping our eyes.

I blew out a shaky sigh before I spoke. "Let's not tell anyone until after the wedding is over. We don't want to take any focus off of Sophia and Tommy."

Morelli cleared his throat and nodded. "Yeah. Good idea."

We got out of the car and went inside, Bob rushing over to greet us with his normal exuberance. I had been planning to spend the night at Morelli's, get ready for the wedding and ride over together to the church the next afternoon. Now I didn't think that was such a good idea.

"Look, I'll get the dress and my stuff and go back to my apartment tonight. You can pick me up on the way to the church," I said, heading towards the stairs. Morelli nodded and walked into the kitchen.

"Do you want a beer?" he asked awkwardly.

"No thanks. I won't be long."

I went upstairs and grabbed the dress bag out of Morelli's closet and then headed over to the drawer where I kept some underwear and socks and emptied the contents into my shoulder bag. I moved onto the bathroom, where I grabbed my toothbrush, hair dryer, make-up, shampoo and conditioner and deodorant, stuffing them into the bag as well. I didn't keep much at Morelli's, so it only took me about five minutes to be certain I had everything.

I went back downstairs to find him drinking his beer standing up at the kitchen counter. He gazed at my overflowing bag, understanding that I had packed up all of my possessions that had found a temporary home at his house. We didn't speak for a minute, but continued to awkwardly glance at each other off and on. Finally, Morelli finished the last of his beer and put the bottle in the recycling.

"I'll pick you up around three tomorrow."

I nodded silently. Any attempt at speech would have only resulted in sobs.

Without saying good-bye, I headed out the front door and laid the dress down flat in the back seat of the ten year old Camry I'd bought a month ago. I put my shoulder bag in the passenger seat and got in the car. Years of driving on the Jersey freeway and perfect knowledge of Trenton's streets were the only things that allowed me to make it back to my apartment in one piece. My eyes had been blurry with tears on the drive home to the point that I had barely been able to distinguish between red and green stoplights. I thankfully met none of my neighbors in the lobby or elevator of my building and got myself inside my apartment before the gasping sobs started. I knew I wasn't devastated over the break up, but I was sad and confused. Morelli had been a part of my life for as long as I could remember and after the wedding tomorrow, I had no idea as to how much I may see him in the future. I felt like I was grieving the death of a friend, and in reality I was. I was grieving the loss of a relationship in which I had invested time and emotion. I was also losing a friend. I let myself cry until I couldn't anymore. I hung up the bridesmaid dress, gave Rex a carrot and fresh water and fell into bed with my clothes on.

I would face tomorrow when it came.


	2. Better in Time

I slept until noon the next day, waking up with puffy eyes and hair from hell. I ate half a box of Tastykakes before heading to the shower, where I refused to cry and make my eyes any puffier before the wedding. I pulled my hair up into a twist at the back of my head, used concealer on my dark circles, and pulled on the silky dress. I found a pair of strappy black heels in the closet to add to the outfit. I admired my reflection in the mirror, but wasn't as enthusiastic as I had been two days ago.

I had been pacing the floor for fifteen minutes, not wanting to sit and wrinkle the dress, when Morelli knocked on my door. I opened it to find him dressed in his tuxedo, looking as tired as I felt, but otherwise his usual sexy self.

I grabbed my little black purse, locked up my apartment and headed towards the elevator next to Morelli. We rode in silence to the ground floor and walked out to his Explorer.

The wedding was starting at three-thirty, so we would be there in time to get situated for the ceremony, do last minute make-up and hair checks, and line up to walk down the aisle. I spent most of the time during the ceremony zoned out, only paying attention when the priest would indicate it was time to pray and when the processional music started. I plastered a phony smile on my face as I walked down the aisle on Morelli's arm, noticing he did the same thing.

The reception was at the VFW hall so on the ride over I asked Morelli when he was going to break the news of his leaving to everyone.

"I called the head of the Gang unit today and told him I'd take the job. I'm supposed to start two weeks from Monday. I'll tell my family tomorrow and give notice at the station on Monday."

I nodded. The Burg gossip line would likely reach my mother and grandmother before me, so I'd let someone else break the news to them, confirming we were over and that I wasn't following him to Camden when they asked.

Once we were at the reception, it was a little easier to act normal as people were drinking and eating, toasts were being made and laughter ensued. I was on my third piece of wedding cake when Morelli came up to me.

"What do you say to one last dance, Cupcake?" he asked, holding out his hand.

I put down the rest of my cake and took his hand, walking to the middle of the dance floor. The DJ had just started playing Leona Lewis's _Better in Time_ and I found myself wanting to cry again. The reality of the true ending to my relationship with Morelli was hitting hard, but I was beginning to suspect things would be a little easier once he was away in Camden. Or that was the hope, at least.

The party wasn't showing any sign of stopping by eight that evening, so I asked Morelli to take me home but to come back to the reception if he wanted. He shook his head, saying he was tired and wanted to turn in early anyway. When we got to my lot, I told him he didn't need to walk me up. He put the car in park and turned to face me.

"I'm going to head out to Camden next Monday to find a place to live and start getting settled before I have to start work the next week," he said. "In case you want to come over and say good-bye to Bob."

I shook my head. "I think I'd better not. Just give him a hug from me and tell him not to destroy stuff in the new house."

Tears started falling down my cheeks again, knowing this was going to be our goodbye.

Morelli tipped my chin up and kissed me. It wasn't a passionate kiss; it didn't involve any tongue or wandering hands, but it told me everything I needed to know. He loved me, he always would to some extent, but that this was the end.

We broke apart, and I wiped my cheeks. "Good luck, Joe. I hope you find someone who can be what you need them to be. I want you to be happy."

Morelli nodded. "Thanks, Steph. I want you to be happy too, but I don't think you'll have to look far for that."

I let out a humorless laugh. "If you're talking about Ranger, you're wrong. He's made it clear over the years that he's not the marrying type."

"But you love him, don't you?"

I whipped my head around quickly. I'd figured Morelli knew the attraction was there, but never knew if he suspected deeper feelings.

"I've known since Scrog kidnapped you and he got shot in your apartment. You were a mess that had little to do with being kidnapped and held at gun point and more with the fact that Ranger had been bleeding out," he told me, patting my hand. "I never said anything because I knew it would just lead to a fight, but I can tell he loves you. Maybe things will work out for you guys once I'm out of the picture for good." I could tell he was making an effort not to sound bitter about that fact, but he hadn't quite succeeded.

I couldn't find anything to say, so I put my hand on the door handle. "Bye, Joe. See you around."

"Bye, Stephanie."

I got out of the Explorer and walked into my building without looking back. I took the stairs rather than waiting for the elevator and went inside my apartment feeling slightly sick and exhausted, but resolved not to spend another evening crying. I changed out of the dress and into my sweats, washed off my make-up and pulled my hair back in a ponytail. I flopped down on my couch and surfed my three-hundred channels, not finding anything worth watching. I popped _Die Hard_ into the DVD player and fell asleep as Hans Gruber delivered another great line.

The sound of my cell phone ringing woke up me up the next morning. I had a stiff neck from falling asleep on my couch and had to run to the bathroom to pee from all of the champagne I'd drank at the reception. Once I had finished my business in the bathroom, I checked my phone. The clock told me it was half past eleven in the morning, and that I'd had seven missed calls, four voicemails and two text messages.

The first call had been from my mother, asking if I'd heard that Morelli was moving to Camden and was I going with him. The second was from Grandma Mazur, saying she'd heard from Mrs. Wolchek at Mass that Bella was going around telling everyone she'd put the eye on me, which is why Morelli had found me unattractive and dumped me. The third message from Connie, saying she'd heard about Morelli and asked if we had broken up or if I was going with him. The fourth message was my mother again, telling me that she was making fried chicken and pineapple-upside down cake for dinner and that she'd set a place for me. One text message was from Morelli, saying he'd make it clear to people that Bella didn't put the eye on me and that we'd broken up amicably. The second was from Lula, saying she was bringing me sympathy donuts and a Big Gulp.

I had just read the text from Lula when there was a knock at the door. I looked out the peep hole and saw her.

"I just saw your text," I told her, opening the door and standing to the side to let her come in. I shut the door and took one of the drinks and a bag of donuts from her.

"So it's true? Morelli dumped you and is going to live in Camden?"

"Well, he didn't dump me. We agreed about the break up. But yes, he's moving to Camden to work for the State Police Gang Unit."

Lula opened her bag of donuts and pulled out a Boston Crème. "Hunh. Why did you break up? Did he expect you to move with him?"

I shook my head as I bit into a jelly donut. "No, we just realized our relationship wasn't going anywhere and that it was better to make a clean break, once and for all. It was very amicable. We don't hate each other or anything."

"Are you gonna start dating Ranger now?" Lula asked, dabbing at a spot on her shirt where crème had landed.

"Oh my God! Why does everyone jump to that conclusion?" I asked, taking a long drag of soda. "Ranger doesn't date or have relationships. I'm just going to stay single until I meet someone I'm really interested in or die an old maid."

Lula snorted. "But you're interested in Ranger, aren't you?"

"Yes, but he's not an option."

"You could try to change his mind."

I rolled my eyes. "Let it go. It's not going to happen, and I'm not going to even get my hopes up imagining for second that it could."

Lula kept unusually quiet after that and we finished our donuts in peace. She left around one, saying she needed to go shopping for some shoes for a hot date she had that night. I declined shoe shopping, saying I needed to clean the apartment and take a shower before I went to dinner at my parents. I didn't want to see my family. They would be giving me pitying expressions, knowing how many years and Friday dinners I had invested in Morelli, only to end up alone. But I would go anyway, face the music of my mother reminding me that I wasn't getting any younger and that she didn't want worry about me being alone in this world when she and my father were no longer around, and start the process of moving on with my life.

I kept my thoughts well away from Ranger for the moment. My feelings for him confused me much of the time, so I knew I needed to stay focused on the situation at hand. He was out of town at the moment anyway, having left last week to spend some time at his other offices. He and a business partner had equal stakes in each branch of Rangeman and spent time in each office, but Ranger's main base of operations was Trenton and he spent a good deal of time in contact with the Miami office, since he had family in Miami. His business partner lived in Atlanta, but divided his time between that branch and Boston. Ranger and his partner had agreed that neither wanted to keep bouncing around the four different branches all the time, preferring to be in on the action, not running a corporation. Ranger was keeping the Trenton and Miami offices, and his partner was taking the Boston and Atlanta offices. He said he'd be gone for a few weeks while the lawyers and accountants settled everything, telling me to call Tank if I needed anything. I naturally hadn't enlisted Tank's assistance for anything, since I knew he hated trying to keep track of me while Ranger was away. The men at his office preferred death to telling Ranger they'd misplaced me.

I parked in front of my parents' house at five minutes to six. I sighed as I got out of the car, watching as Grandma Mazur opened the front door. Dinner went as I predicted it would. My mother kept telling me that she should have known Joseph Morelli wouldn't settle down and hated that I had wasted my time on him. I told her that we had a mutual break-up and reassured Grandma that Bella did not put the eye on me. My father stayed quiet on the matter, only speaking when he needed more chicken. I left an hour later, having helped clear the table and packed a doggy-bag with chicken and cake. Morelli and I had broken up before, and it took a while to get used to it, but I knew I would adjust once more. I just had to give it time.

The next week passed in a bit of a blur. There were only three FTAs, all of which were low bonds. The Camry had survived the week, thankfully, as I hadn't made enough off those three skips to pay for rent, groceries and a new car. Word had spread through the Burg like wildfire about Morelli's new job and our permanent break-up. I'd fielded calls from my best friend Mary Lou, along with three girls I'd gone to high school with but hadn't talk to in several years. I did end up going to say goodbye to Bob while Morelli was at work on Friday. I realized I still had a copy of his house key, which he would need to give the realtor who would be selling the house. I had given Bob a hug, told him to be a good boy and that I loved him. I left Morelli a note that I had remembered having his house key and put both the note and key on his kitchen counter. I locked the door behind me as I left the house, got in my car and drove to the bond's office. It was almost four in the afternoon, so if anyone had skipped out on their court appearance today, Connie would have the files ready for me. I hoped she had something, as I really wanted a distraction and really needed the money.

"We have one FTA, but it's a million-dollar bond, which we normally give to Ranger," Connie told me when I walked in.

"Let me give it a try," I pleaded. Ten percent of a million-dollar bond would leave me in a really good place. I'd always felt it was a little unfair for Ranger to always get the big paydays. Just because he was a better bounty hunter didn't mean he deserved the big paydays every time.

Connie hesitated for a moment, but handed me the file. "You have until Vinnie gets back in two weeks. He's out in Idaho right now picking up Charles Duke and then as soon as he gets back he has to leave again for his anniversary cruise with Lucille. Hopefully Ranger comes back soon."

Ignoring her confidence in my skills, I took the file from Connie and went out to my car to read it. Leonard Dumati was a fifty-year-old former gardener. He had married his boss, Julia Thompson-Dewitt last year. Julia was an heiress of the Thompson-Dewitt Diamond Mines in northern Canada and was reportedly worth hundreds of millions of dollars. The marriage had been a scandal in the upper-class social circles, as everyone felt Dumati was simply seducing Julia for her money. Julia had been found dead three months ago in their swimming pool. Toxicology screens showed large amounts of sleeping pills in her system, and a search in the house had found residue of the pills in her glass of wine. A trip to her lawyer found that she'd left her entire fortune to her new husband, Leo. Dumati had been arrested for her murder, and because he had no criminal history, was released on a one-million-dollar bond, which Vinnie had signed because of the notoriety of the situation. I took note of Dumati's address in Trenton's most expensive neighborhood of Pike Point and drove in that direction. It was going to be hard to hide in my Camry in Dumati's neighborhood, as no one ever parked on the streets and the driveways were about a mile long, but I was going to give it the old college try.

Ten minutes later, I pulled into the drive and started digging the pepper spray, cuffs and Mag light out of my purse. My stun gun had a dead battery, and my gun was in the cookie jar at home. I didn't have any bullets, so bringing it would have been pointless. I put the cuffs in my back pocket and the pepper spray in the front. I stuffed the Mag light in the back of my waistband of my jeans to keep it hidden, but within easy reach. I walked up to the red brick house and rang the door bell, which sounded like the church bells at St. Patrick's Cathedral. A minute later, a man with brown hair and green eyes answered the door. I knew from the mug shot in the file that it was Leo Dumati.

"I'm not answering any questions," Dumati said, trying to shut the door in my face.

I stuck my foot in the door. "Leo Dumati, I'm Stephanie Plum from your bail bonds office. You missed your court date."

Dumati shook his head. "No I didn't. I don't go to court until the nineteenth."

"Today is the nineteenth," I told him.

"No it's not. It's the tenth."

I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket and showed him the date on the phone.

Dumati paled. "Oh God. I've been drinking a lot, but I didn't know I'd lost nine days."

While Dumati was lost in thought, I took the opportunity to pull my cuffs out of my back pocket and slapped one on his wrist.

Dumati looked down at the bracelet on his wrist and tried to pull away, but I was too quick for him. I yanked on the handcuffs and pulled him completely out of his front door. With my other hand, I pulled out my pepper spray and gave him a face full, which caused him to start yelling. While he was whining about his burning eyes, I cuffed his other wrist and guided him to my car. I buckled him into the passenger side rear seat and shut the door, temporarily drowning out his moans. I got in my car and hit the button on the console that engaged the child locks on the back doors. I had discovered the usefulness of this button the first day after I got the car and vowed that any future cars would have this same feature. I'd had FTAs jump out of the back of my cars before, so I wasn't eager to repeat the experience, especially with my first million-dollar bond.

"Why did you have to spray me?" Dumati whined as we made our way to the police station.

"You were resisting arrest," I informed him. It was slightly true. He had pulled away when he saw the cuff on his wrist.

"Did not," he shot back.

"What are you, five-years old?" I asked, looking in the mirror. "We'll take you to the jail and you can see if you can get rebonded." I thought it doubtful, considering his charges, but Vinnie had enjoyed the exposure from the media so he might sign for Dumati a second time, if the judge allowed him to get bailed out again.

I walked Dumati into the police station and received a smattering of mock applause from the three uniforms in the bay. Dumati may be accused of murder, but he wasn't exactly a gym rat. They probably figured a third-grader could have brought him in. Once I'd handed Dumati over to check-in and gotten by body receipt, I called Connie and told her to wait for me at the office so she could cut me a check. I wasn't interested in holding onto a body receipt worth one-hundred thousand dollars overnight.

"I can't believe you got him in less than an hour," Connie said, handing me the check. "That's some Ranger-level work there."

"I'm in a no-nonsense kind of mood today," I told her, kissing my check and bounding out the door. The bank was across the street, so I hurried over and made it to the door just as the teller was coming to lock up. After five minutes of coaxing and showing her my large check, she allowed me in and deposited the check into my account, telling me that there would be a three business day hold on the check to be sure it cleared. Just knowing the money was in my account was enough, so I could wait a couple of days before hitting the ATM.

I was halfway back to my apartment before reality set in: I had just earned in one capture what it had taken me three years to earn doing numerous small skips. Kelly Clarkson was singing about being stronger on the radio, so I cranked up the music and sang along, not caring who heard me because I had one hundred thousand dollars in the bank. By the time I made it home, I had tentatively calculated how much of the money I could actually keep and how much would have to go to Uncle Sam for taxes. I still had enough money left over to buy myself a new car, pay my rent for the rest of the year and buy food, clothes and get highlights.

I walked into my apartment, still singing Kelly Clarkson's song when I realized Ranger was sitting on my sofa.

"Don't quit your day job, babe," he said.

I rolled my eyes, trying not to be embarrassed that I had been busted singing like nobody was listening. "I thought you weren't getting back for a few more weeks. And besides, I just kicked ass at my day job, so I don't plan to quit anytime soon." I told him about Dumati, which earned me a full-on Ranger smile.

"Nice. And you didn't blow up a car or fall into a dumpster."

I stuck my tongue out at him. "You never answered my question. What brings you back early?"

Ranger followed me into the kitchen and pulled two beers out of the refrigerator. "My lawyers are faster than I thought they'd be."

We returned to the sofa and nursed our beers.

"I heard Morelli is leaving the Trenton PD to go work for the State in Camden," Ranger said, putting his beer on the table. "Are you going with him?"

I was surprised at Ranger's question. He wasn't usually so apparent in wanting to know something, but would get the truth out of you subtly. I shook my head, not meeting Ranger's gaze, but looking down at my shoes.

"We realized that our relationship was headed nowhere, so he decided to take the job, and we've gone our separate ways permanently."

Ranger didn't say anything for a minute, but picked up his beer and took another drink.

"Are you okay with this?" he asked.

I shrugged. "It is what it is. We both realized we wouldn't be getting married last week at his cousin's wedding rehearsal. When I was walking down the aisle with the bridal party, and he was standing with the groomsmen, neither of us could picture us getting married, but only fights about my job, having kids and staying away from—," I stopped at that point, not wanting him to know about Morelli's insight on my relationship with him.

"Anyway, it was a real awakening and something that needed to happen," I finished, drinking the rest of my beer.

I could feel Ranger's eyes on me, but didn't want to turn to look at him. I was afraid if I saw that smoldering expression of his, I'd end up sleeping with him. Not that I didn't want to sleep with him, but I didn't want to go running to him simply because Morelli wasn't in the picture any longer. Ranger had always told me marriage wasn't in the cards for him, so I knew any relationship with him would have limits that I most likely couldn't handle.

I felt a hand on my chin and Ranger guided my face over so that I was looking at him. He didn't have the sexy look on his face, thank God, but it was an expression that I hadn't seen too many times. It told me he was opening himself up to me in a way that he normally didn't.

"What had you been thinking about when you were walking down the aisle at Kinsey and Amanda's rehearsal? You nearly caused a pile up by the time you reached the altar."

If I was going to tell Ranger the truth, I'd need a least another beer, if not two more.

"I need another beer. Do you want one?" I asked, trying to get up, but Ranger pulled me back down.

He kept staring at me, not saying anything. I bit down on my bottom lip. Ranger would know if I lied to him, but I also didn't know that the truth would do us any favors.

"I tried to imagine what it would be like to be marrying you," I told him. It was the truth, but an abridged version.

"And could you imagine it?"

"Maybe, but it doesn't really matter."

Ranger raised an eyebrow. "Why doesn't it matter? You don't want to marry me?"

I rolled my eyes. "It doesn't matter if I could imagine marrying you, or if I wanted to marry you because you've made it clear that you aren't interested in a relationship involving a ring."

Ranger ran a finger along my cheek, making my nipples go hard. "You're discounting me that easily?"

I pulled Ranger's hand off of my face. "No, I'm just going off of what you've beaten in my brain over the past four years. I can't keep doing whatever it is that we've been doing, Ranger. I need to move on with my life, and maybe I'll find someone who loves me and isn't so afraid of commitment."

I saw a flash in Ranger's eyes that was foreign. What was it? It was hard for me to believe I could have hurt his feelings.

"So what you're telling me is that unless I want to be in a romantic relationship with you, you don't want me around," Ranger said, his voice reaching what I considered his deadly calm mode. I'd only ever heard him in that way when he was really burying his feelings.

"I'm not trying to give you an ultimatum. I can be your friend and sometimes colleague, but I can't just have sex with you, have you giving me cars and protection, but keeping your emotions closed off. I want to be your friend. I would like to be more, but I know it won't happen. I just want you to understand that I'm setting up the limits. No sex if we are just going to be friends. It makes things too confusing for me."

I knew I was rambling and wondered if I had made any sort of sense, but I had put it out there for him.

Ranger studied me for a minute before speaking.

"You need to think about whether you really want a relationship with me, Stephanie. I have a lot of shit in my past that you don't know about, and many things I can't tell you. Think about that then tell me if you really want me. Because if you still do, then I'm all yours."

With that, Ranger got up and left the apartment, leaving me sitting on the couch with my jaw hitting the floor.


	3. Movin' On Up

_**A/N: Thanks for all the lovely reviews and messages I've received. I appreciate all of you and I'm glad people are happy to see the stories return. Please check my profile for updates on things, but I'm planning to post a couple of chapters at a time as I get them reviewed and updated. So stay tuned.**_

I couldn't sleep that night after Ranger's startling announcement. I knew he had lots of secrets. He'd been Special Forces in the military, so it was likely he would have done things that would be considered questionable or even illegal by world courts. I also knew he tended to operate within gray areas of the law and morality, though the morals never strayed into total black. He was still very much a mystery to me, even after all of these years, but I knew his character. I also knew he had money, was great in bed, and ate like a rabbit. His energy was quiet and contained, but overpowered mine at the same time. I also suspected he wouldn't open up to me in the ways I wanted him to.

When I was still awake at sunrise, I got up and started getting ready for the day. I wasn't really sure what I was going to do, but I knew I couldn't just sit around my apartment all day. I didn't have any outstanding skips, but I'd stop by the bonds office anyway to visit with Connie and Lula. It was Saturday, so the office was only open a half-day. I gave Rex some celery and asked him what he thought about whether I should seriously pursue a relationship with Ranger. He didn't respond, so I locked up and went down to my Camry and headed to the bakery, where I got an assortment of donuts and coffees. I arrived at the bond's office at the same time as Connie.

"Wow, I don't think I've ever seen you this early in the morning," Connie said, unlocking the office and turning off the alarm. "And you're dressed, your hair pulled up, and you're wearing mascara. What's going on?"

I shrugged and put the donuts down on her desk. "I just decided to get an early start. Is that a crime?"

Connie put her purse in her desk and sat down and turned on her computer. "For you, it practically is. You have bags under your eyes, which makes me think you didn't sleep. Are you still upset about Morelli?"

I sighed and plopped into one of the chairs in front of her desk with Boston Crème. "Not really. I mean, I do miss him, and it's sad that we couldn't make it work, but that's not it."

Connie raised an eyebrow and watched me expectantly as she selected a donut and a coffee. I debated about whether to tell Connie about Ranger. I typically didn't like to talk about my romantic relationships with anyone, but I really needed a sounding board. Lula would tell me to go after Ranger because he was hot and had an assortment of cars, so I didn't feel like she was a reliable resource. Connie knew Ranger was hot and rich, but she was also pretty level-headed about grown-up things like relationships.

"Okay, I'll tell you, but please keep it to yourself," I began, grabbing a coffee and checking out the window to see if Lula was pulling up.

"She won't be here for another hour," Connie said, reading my mind.

I bit down on my lip before I finally spoke. "I've been in love with both Morelli and Ranger for a long time now. I've been with Ranger off and on in terms of sex, but never an actual relationship. He's always told me that his lifestyle didn't allow for marriage, so I never counted on him in that aspect. I figured if I got married, it would be to Morelli, but I couldn't get past my feelings for Ranger. Morelli realized it too. He told me the last time I saw him."

Connie chewed her donut, lost in thought. "Does Ranger know you love him? Has he ever told you he loves you?"

I shrugged. "I've never said _I love you_ to him. He's told me he loves me, but tends to qualify it by saying _in my own way_. He has always said that his love doesn't come with ring."

"So your problem is that you are in love with him and want to be in a relationship, but he doesn't?"

I shook my head and told Connie about the conversation with Ranger in my apartment last night. Connie's eyes grew wide at the end of the story.

"Stephanie, he wants to be in a relationship with you, but he wants to make sure it's what you really want and aren't just rebounding from Morelli. Ranger isn't the type of guy to just change his mind about something like that on a whim, and I don't think he'd change his mind on it for anyone but you."

"Do you think his secrets are really bad?" I asked, and immediately wanted to smack myself.

Connie gave a non-committal shrug. "I think he probably had to do some things while he was in the Army that he wouldn't want to talk about, and he doesn't always mesh with the law these days, but he's a good man overall. Are you worried about it?"

I thought about it for a minute. "It's not that I'm worried about his secrets. I guess I'm more concerned about how our relationship would go. He's so closed-off emotionally. I wonder if he would ever really open up to me. Would I meet his family, know if he had any imaginary friends growing up, or learn where he really considers his home to be?"

Connie opened her mouth to say something, but stopped as I heard the door to the bonds office open. I turned around to see Ranger walking in, holding some paperwork in his hand.

"We got Manny Rodriguez this morning," he told Connie, handing her a body receipt. "You were right about him seeing Carol Simpkins on the side. We busted him at her house."

Connie smiled as she wrote out a check. "I told you my hairdresser's gossip is golden. She hasn't been wrong yet."

Ranger gave a small smile as he took the check from Connie. I sat quietly eating my donut, trying not to draw too much attention to myself. Connie and I needed to finish our conversation, and I needed some Ranger-free time to sit and think about a future with him. When I'd asked about the "Batcave" in the past, he had told me that once you came into the Batcave, it was for forever. I had a feeling that was his take on relationships. I had no doubts about his ability to stay faithful, and in a way I was starting to see why he may have been so resistant about emotional attachments to me with Morelli in the picture. Morelli had barely been able to handle my time with Ranger while we were in a relationship, and I didn't think the reverse would have been accepted if I had been in a relationship with Ranger. I had the feeling that the only reason he was telling me he was open to a relationship at this point was because Morelli was down in Camden and out of my life for good.

"Babe," came Ranger's voice into my thoughts. I shook myself of out my reverie and realized he and Connie were both staring at me. I had a feeling they'd been trying to get my attention for a while.

"Sorry, did you say something?" I asked, picking up my coffee and taking a long drag.

"I was telling you I needed some help with a client today," Ranger said. "It's a female client with children. I wanted to get a woman's perspective on a security system and wondered if you were free to go over to her house."

I threw my empty coffee cup in Connie's trash and stood. "Sure. Are we going now?"

"Yes."

I told Connie bye and that I'd be back later. She understood that I wanted to continue our conversation and gave me a meaningful look as she nodded her head.

Ranger and I climbed into his Turbo and we drove in silence to the house. It was in the same neighborhood as Leo Dumati's house, but two streets over. The house was large and white with columns and eight-foot windows along the front.

"The owner is out of town right now, so she won't be here for input," Ranger said, pulling an iPad out of a black bag. It was unusual for him to be doing this job, which was normally reserved for installers or salesmen, so I had a feeling that he had purposely taken it to give himself an excuse to be alone with me. Not that he ever needed one.

We walked around the outside of the house first. Ranger said the owner wanted closed circuit television monitoring, but he wanted to ensure the privacy of her and her teenage daughters. I told him I'd want cameras focused on my front door, the garages and the back door so that I could see who was there, especially if it was late at night. I told him the large windows were vulnerable for a quick and easy break in, so he made a note to hook up the downstairs windows to the system, but I told him that the second floor windows probably wouldn't need it, since you'd have to pull out a ladder to get in and out. I also knew that I liked having the breeze blow in at night and it would be a pain in the ass if you set off the alarm every time you opened or closed your bedroom window.

We walked through the interior of the house and I found myself drooling over the master suite. Her closet was as big as my bedroom, her bathroom spacious, modern, and sans mildew. It made me think about the one-hundred-thousand dollars sitting in my bank account. After taxes, I'd still have more than eighty thousand dollars. I could buy a condo or a house, and still have money in the bank. I'd been thinking about getting a new car, but considering my bad luck with cars, it didn't make sense to spend that kind of money only to have the car destroyed. I could get a place with a bathroom that wasn't brown and orange, where I could install an alarm system, and possibly not every criminal in Trenton would know where I lived any longer. I decided that when I got home I would pull up real estate listings on my computer and give moving some serious thought.

Ranger and I finished our walkthrough and he locked the front door behind us. We got into his Turbo and pulled away, headed back towards the bond's office.

"You don't look like you've slept," Ranger commented as we pulled out of the neighborhood.

I rolled my eyes. "You really know how to make a girl feel special."

Ranger said nothing, so I gave it a minute before I gave in. "No, I didn't sleep last night. Some jackass and his mysterious ways kept my mind churning."

"Jackass?"

I didn't comment, but looked out the window at the businesses we were passing.

"Babe, it isn't about you."

I turned to look at him. "You're saying that all of this hesitancy and resistance is about you, and nothing to do with me or my history with Morelli?"

"I told you last night there's a lot of bad stuff in my past. I try to make up for it by helping keep others safe, but there are some demons you can't get rid of. I want you to be sure you understand what you're getting yourself into by wanting to be with me."

We pulled up outside the bond's office, and I unbuckled my seatbelt. "I don't worry about your _demons_ ," I told Ranger as I picked up my purse from between my legs. "I just want you to open up to me. I want to get to know you better, not spend my time with someone who answers a question or makes a comment with a look or _Babe_. I can be trusted, you know." I got out of the car before Ranger could respond and went into the office, where Lula was sitting on the couch reading a magazine and Connie was on the phone.

Once Connie was off the phone, I told them about how I was thinking of moving.

"That's good," Lula said, flipping a page in her magazine. "Maybe now you won't be fire bombed every other week."

"Let's pull up the real estate listings online," Connie suggested, bringing up a website for a local realty company.

I gave her my price range and Connie put it in the search. I had a pad of paper and a pen and wrote down the addresses of a few places that interested me. They were in neighborhoods surrounding the Burg, so my next task was to call my cousin Lacy, who was a realtor.

"Of course I'll help, Steph," Lacy had said when I told her. "I'll work on getting you a great place for as cheap as possible. You'd be surprised what lengths people will go to get out of their house."

Lacy agreed to meet me after lunch to start looking at places, and Connie and Lula said they wanted to come too. We closed up the office at noon and went to _Pino's_ for lunch. Connie and Lula split a pizza while I had a meatball sub. When Lula went to the bathroom, Connie leaned across the table to ask me if anything had happened while Ranger and I were out. I relayed our conversation to her, which made her shake her head.

"He's so worried about things that he's done that I doubt he would ever tell you about them, even if he could," Connie said as she pulled cash out of her wallet. "But I guess you would also have to be able to accept the fact that you won't know those things about his life."

The conversation ended again once Lula returned. We paid our bills and went to over to Lacy's office, where she was waiting for us by her car. We piled in and sped off to the first house, which was in Morelli's old neighborhood, but a couple of blocks over. The house was dated, but still newer than my apartment. It had one bedroom, one bath and was empty, as the owners had moved to Florida permanently. The next house was in the neighborhood east of the Burg. It was only a couple of blocks south of Hamilton Avenue and was filled with young professionals and young families. I immediately took a liking to the townhouse. It had two bedrooms, a bathroom upstairs with a powder room downstairs, and nice dark wood floors. We looked at two more houses in neighborhoods surrounding the Burg, but Connie and Lula had fallen in love with the second house the same way I had.

"The fact that you can pay cash will be a big hit," Lacy told me as we made our way back to her office. "I think you should put in a low offer now. We'll say you can pay cash, but of course nothing happens until it's been inspected. We can write up the offer back at my office then I'll let you know what I hear."

Connie and Lula told me I should do it, and I hesitantly agreed. It was time to grow up and start getting a move on with my life. A new place to live would be a good step. I'd also be a homeowner, which came with more responsibility, but that was part of being an adult, right?

Lacy wrote up the offer and suggested I bid fifteen thousand less than the asking price. She said the cash offer would be very attractive over other slightly higher offers that would require financing. The other good thing about this house was that it had been remodeled in the last few years, so I really didn't need to do any work except paint if I wanted. I gave Lacy a check as a part of the offer hold, trying not to shake as I signed the paperwork, and left with Connie and Lula. We got back to the bond's office, returned to our own cars and I went to my parents' house.

My father was napping in the chair in the living room and my mother and grandmother were working on laundry.

"Hey," I said, jumping in to help fold towels. "I've got some good news. I put an offer down on a house today."

They both looked stunned. "You're buying a house? Now?" my mother asked. "But you're all alone. Why wouldn't you wait until you're married so that you can have help with maintenance and bills?"

I told them about the big bond I had picked up and how I wouldn't have a mortgage. "Plus, it's time to grow up and move on from Morelli. I don't know that I'll ever get married, so I'm not going to sit around and wait in my crappy old apartment, especially while every criminal in Trenton seems to know where I live."

"I think it's great," Grandma Mazur said as I described the house to them. "Maybe if I get tired of living here, I can move in with you."

I mentally made the sign of the cross and asked God for a little bit of mercy so that Grandma wouldn't move in with me. My father perked up at the sound of Grandma saying she'd consider moving out and I told him about the house. My father nodded his approval, said a house was a better investment than an apartment, and went back to his nap.

I declined staying for dinner and headed back to my apartment. I was starting to get tired and thought I'd make an early night of it. I picked up some chicken from Cluck-in-a-Bucket and went home, thinking I'd turn on the television and vegetate for the night. I was flipping through channels and eating my chicken when my phone started playing the _Mission: Impossible_ theme song, which I had set as Ranger's ring tone. I ignored the phone, deciding I really wasn't in the mood to talk to him tonight. I intended to get a good night's sleep. I had opened a bottle of wine and was on my second glass. I knew I'd be asleep before I finished a third. I was already a little anxious about buying a house and his comments from the night before, so I didn't need anything else to worry about.

I didn't remember falling asleep, but I woke up sometime in the middle of the night to find my lights and television turned off, the blanket from my bed tucked around me on the couch, and Ranger lounging in the chair beside me with his eyes closed. He had taken off his gun belt and left it on the table in front of him. I was hazy from the wine and lack of sleep, so I decided not to worry about him right then and closed my eyes, opening them again only when the sun was streaming through the windows. I looked over at the chair, but Ranger was gone. A quick peek around my apartment on my way to the bathroom told me he had left. It was after eight, so he was likely at work now, even though it was Sunday. Ranger stayed on the job around the clock.

I checked my phone and found the missed call from him and one from Lacy. There was also a voicemail.

"Hey, Steph," Lacy's voice said on the message. "I gave the offer to the homeowner's realtor and they've accepted it! Congrats! I've got a call into a cousin of Tony's to do the inspection and he will do it tomorrow evening. The family has already said they can be out of the house by the end of the week, since they just closed on their new house last week. I'll give you a call after the inspection to let you know how it went. Don't tell anyone I'm doing this, but I have some favors to call in with all the right people and we're going to get you closed on this house by next weekend. But seriously, don't tell anyone I did this for you or everyone will expect it. It's absolutely _unheard of_ to close on a house this quickly, even with a cash payment."

Geez, Lacy had already closed a deal on a house and I hadn't even had coffee. Would I ever be one of those people? Ranger had already caught an FTA by nine yesterday morning and Morelli used to leave the house to go into the office by six-thirty every day. Those thoughts made me groan. I wasn't sure how I tried to call myself an adult most days.

Deciding I was going to change my ways, I got dressed in a hurry and ran out the door. I was going to Mass this morning. My mother and grandmother would be at this service, so I could sit with them. Hopefully they didn't have heart attacks when I walked through the door.


	4. Margaritaville

After Mass, I went back to my parents' house for donuts. Grandma brought down her laptop and I was able to show them the house from the real estate website's virtual tour. My mother and grandmother made decorating suggestions, my father commented on the kitchen cabinet quality, and I started to feel a little buyer's remorse. I was terrified now to think that I was an almost-homeowner. I had put an offer down so quickly on it, I was beginning to worry that maybe I had been hasty. But I couldn't let that show in front of my mother, or I'd hear a massive _told you so._

I stopped at the market on the way home to get a few necessities and when I walked into my apartment, I found Ranger sitting in the chair he had slept in the night before.

"You've been busy. This is the third time in less than two days you've broken in. That I know of, at any rate," I told him as I kicked the door shut behind me.

Ranger stood and took one of the bags of groceries from me and we carried them into the kitchen.

"This time I'm here to tell you that I've been called out of the country for the next few days. I should be back by Friday."

He was leaving town again after only being back two days. This was another issue with being in a relationship with Ranger. He was constantly being called away, either for his other offices or on contracted jobs for the government. I never knew what he did for those jobs. I assumed it was political assassination or inciting coups, but I never actually knew for sure.

"Where are you going?" I asked as I started putting groceries away.

"I'm doing security for a diplomat travelling abroad to a country with a high kidnapping rate." Smooth. He answered the question without actually answering it.

"I thought maybe you were going to kill someone."

"I haven't done assassinations in years, babe."

I couldn't be sure if was he joking or not.

"Were you actually supposed to tell me what you were going to do?" I asked, folding up the grocery bag and putting it in the cabinet under the kitchen sink.

Ranger had been leaning against the counter while I had been busy. He pushed away from it and walked over to me, putting his hand on my hip.

"No."

"Then why did you tell me?"

"I believe you reminded me earlier that you can be trusted with my secrets."

I gaped at him, not quite believing what I was hearing.

"You actually think I'm trustworthy with government secrets?"

Ranger gave me a small smile. "Yes, I do. I have to get going, but I do want you to know that I will go along with whatever call you make about us. But you also need to know that I'm not going to have any of that vague-about-the-terms, bullshit kind of relationship you had with Morelli. I am monogamous and completely faithful in a relationship, and I expect the same in return. But if you decide that we're just going to be friends, then I'll respect that boundary. I'll hate it, may try to change your mind, but I won't push it too hard."

He gave me a panty-melting kiss, which caused me to grab onto his t-shirt and pull myself closer to him. When we broke apart, I was left feeling a bit frustrated.

"See ya, babe," he said, heading towards the door.

I watched him walk away and suddenly remembered something. "Hey, I forgot to tell you that I'm buying a house."

Ranger turned around and smiled at me. "I know," he said as he opened the door. Know-it-all.

Lacy called me Monday evening to say that the inspection of the house had gone well and there were no major issues that the current owners would need to fix before they moved. We arranged to meet at four in the afternoon on Thursday at her office with the owners and their realtor. I needed to go to the bank and get a certified check for the total amount of the house to bring to the meeting.

Thursday afternoon arrived more quickly than I would have liked. My knee bounced as I sat at the meeting, sliding my check across the table and signing my name to a bunch of documents. The now-former owners surprised me by handing me the keys. They had moved into their new house on Wednesday, so my house was now empty and ready for me. I walked out of the meeting feeling chipper and ready for the next stage in my life. I'd managed to morph into a grown-up in less than a week.

I stopped in at the bond's office after I left Lacy's office. I held up the keys and jiggled them.

"Guess who's a homeowner?"

Connie and Lula squealed in excitement. "Girl, this calls for drinks," Lula said.

"How about this," I started, picking up a file waiting for me on Connie's desk. "You guys come over tonight, we'll make a pitcher of margaritas, and you can help me start packing."

Lula grunted. "The margaritas sound good, but I hate packing."

"I'm in," Connie said, pulling a pad of paper in front of her. "I'll bring everything we need."

We also agreed on Chinese food, and Connie and Lula said they would be over at five. I opened my file and found a couple of low-bond skips that I picked up all the time. Both were prostitutes, neither ever gave me any trouble, so I took a drive down Stark Street and picked up Luis Queen, then Shoshana Brown. They chatted about the troubles of moving their corners and informing their regulars as I drove them to the police station.

My next stop was a moving company office. I bought a bunch of boxes and arranged to rent a small moving truck for Saturday. On my way into the building with the boxes, I ran into Dillion and told him I was moving out over the weekend. He told me that he would miss me and all of the firebombs, but was happy for me. He said to let him know if I needed any help moving. No worries about thirty-day notices or security deposits in our building. Not that I'd ever had a chance of getting my deposit back.

I spent the afternoon getting the utilities turned on in my name at the house and arranging for my name to be removed from the apartment's utilities as of Saturday. I'd forgotten what a pain in the ass moving was, but I had no intentions of doing it again for a long time.

Lula and Connie showed up at half past five with margarita mix, glasses, a blender and our Chinese food. We started in the kitchen, since I did such little cooking, putting pots, pans and dishes in boxes and labeling them in black marker. By the third pitcher of margaritas, we had finished the kitchen and started in on my living room. I noticed the boxes Lula labeled had helpful descriptions such as _shit from under the sink_ and _stuff you don't use._ By nine that evening, we were all fairly shit-faced and only had about half of my living room packed up. Connie and I crashed on my bed and left Lula to sleep on the couch where she'd passed out an hour earlier.

Friday morning at the bond's office was a drearier place than usual with three of its four employees hung over. I'd brought McDonald's fries and Cokes for all of us and was reviewing files of the people who failed to appear the day before while I ate. I had one violent guy who had cut off his neighbor's foot with an axe, one petty theft, one grand theft auto and two drunk and disorderly.

"I'm never drinkin' margaritas again," Lula said. She was lying down on the couch in the office, using her purse as an eye mask.

"I think we made them a little strong," I said, sipping my drink. "We used double the amount of alcohol we were supposed to on the last two batches."

"Not so loud," Connie's voice was muffled by the fact that she had her face buried on her desk under her arms. "I'm too old for this shit."

We all winced when the phone rang, the shrillness more piercing than usual. Connie referred the call to voicemail.

We were silent for a few more minutes before Lula spoke. "I can't do this anymore. I'm going home. I didn't sleep well on account of I was on Stephanie's couch. I'll see you guys tomorrow."

Connie and I rolled our eyes. She'd slept like a rock, snoring loud enough to wake up my neighbor.

After Lula left, Connie and I finished our food and started to feel a little more human. I was doing some phone work on my FTAs and Connie was typing on her computer.

"Have you decided what you're going to do about Ranger?" Connie asked once I'd hung up the phone.

"I've been trying to be a grown-up first before I try to figure out the Ranger situation," I told her. "He told me that he'd respect whatever decision I made, even though he'd probably try to change my mind if I insist that we only be friends."

Connie made a frustrated noise. "Then it seems settled: go get 'em girl!"

I shook my head. "It's not that simple. He tells me he respects whatever decision I make, yet when I initially told him I wanted to be with him, he acted like he was trying to convince me not to be with him. He's spent the last few years boinking me in closets and his Turbo, but sending me back to Morelli in the end because he _doesn't do relationships_. He confuses me."

"You boinked in the Turbo?" Connie asked.

"Yes, but it wasn't easy. We had to have the door open, my ass kept hitting the horn, and it was over in thirty seconds."

"Thirty seconds with Ranger would be better than thirty minutes with any other man," Connie said, fanning herself. I had to agree with her.

I left the bond's office and went to check on one of my FTAs, Melissa Elliott. She had been arrested for stealing two hundred dollars from the cash register at a convenience store. She'd distracted the attendant by flashing a little boob, then knocking a display of lip balm onto the floor behind the counter when the cashier had the drawer open. She'd reached in, grabbed a handful of twenty-dollar bills and hit the road. I knocked on her front door, hoping she was home. She wasn't a big bond, but the little ones added up fast.

An older woman, probably in her seventies, answered the door.

"Hi, I'm looking for Melissa Elliott," I said kindly. I hated when I had to haul people in when their parents or kids were around. I looked like a bad guy.

The woman's eyes immediately filled with tears. "Melissa died last week from a heart attack. The stress of going to court for her charges was too much for her."

And now I felt like real crap. "I'm sorry for your loss, ma'am. I didn't know."

I left the Elliott house and made a note on the file to go up to the health department and get a copy of Melissa's death certificate so we could get our money back from the bond. I decided to swing by my new house while I was in the neighborhood. I pulled up in the back, but didn't pull into the garage. I unlocked the back door and looked around, making sure the owners didn't forget anything that wasn't part of the agreement to stay. Lacy had not only worked her magic in getting them to accept a lower offer, but they had left me the stove, refrigerator, built-in microwave, dishwasher, washer and dryer, all of which were less than three years old. I walked upstairs and checked out the bedrooms and the bathroom. The room I was going to use had a tan, plush carpet and pale blue walls. I decided I was going to keep the colors, as they were relaxing and mature. The smaller room would function as a guest room/office/whatever room. I would get a desk and put my computer and printer in here, and maybe get a futon or pull-out couch for any guests. I walked back downstairs and noticed an extra set of house keys and the remotes for the garage lying on the kitchen counter, alongside an envelope. Inside the envelope was a business card for Caesar Garcia, the Rangeman employee who did security system installations. On the back of the card, Ranger had written _Call him_. I punched Caesar's number into my phone and he picked up on the second ring. He said he was in the neighborhood and would be there in five minutes.

I waited around the house, thinking about what all I needed to buy when Caesar showed up. He was dressed in Rangeman black and carrying an iPad.

"Hey," I said, meeting him at the door. I'd only seen him one other time, but remembered him. He was a little shorter than me and lean. Good for getting into small places to install cameras.

"Stephanie," he replied, shaking my hand. "Ranger said you are to get anything you want in your system, and I'll have it installed by the time you move in on Saturday. He said to consider it a housewarming gift."

"How did you know I'm moving in Saturday?" I asked.

Caesar shrugged. "I just know what Ranger told me."

I rolled my eyes. I was fairly certain I had no secrets from Ranger. I'd done background checks for him before and knew the extent of information that he could accumulate. He likely knew the balance of my bank account, my SAT scores and the brand of tampons I used, so knowing that I'd rented a moving truck for Saturday didn't seem too difficult.

Caesar and I did a walkthrough of the house, identifying vulnerable areas, discussing closed-circuit video and motion detectors. He also said they would be changing the locks on the front, back and garage doors, so he would have the keys to me by tomorrow morning. I left him the old keys and went back to the apartment to get more packing done. I ordered pizza and kept working through the evening so that by the time I was ready for bed, I had nearly all of the apartment packed into boxes. I also had two piles of stuff that I wasn't taking with me. One was a donation pile that I would give to the thrift store, and the other was a garbage pile that I would take down to the dumpster.

Standing in my living room, I looked around and thought about all of the memories I'd have when looking back on this place. When I first moved in, I was newly-divorced from Dickie and working at E.E. Martin. Within six months, I was unemployed. I had good memories of evenings with Morelli and Bob, the first time Ranger and I slept together, and the period of time when Grandma stayed with me. I also had some bad memories, such as the firebombs that had come through my window, the numerous times people had broken into my apartment and the time when Joyce used my place as a hideout while she was FTA. Then I had the horrible memories of finding Lula after Ramirez had hurt her, the people who had died or been found dead in my apartment, and the night when Julie and I were held hostage by Edward Scrog and Ranger had walked in and been shot. The memory of Ranger getting shot still gave me chills. The calm look on his face as he walked in, hands in the air, knowing what would happen had made me realize what lengths he would go to for people he cared about. It had also been the moment when I realized I was in love with him.

I walked over the spot where I'd been sitting when Ranger was shot and looked over to the place where he'd fallen, bleeding profusely as Julie tackled Scrog. I closed my eyes and recalled the emotions that had run through me in that moment. My bottom lip started to quiver as I opened my eyes. I knew what I needed to do; it was something I should have done long ago.

I picked up my cell phone and dialed Ranger's number. It went straight to his voicemail, so I left him a message.

"I need to tell you something: I'm in love with you. I have been for a long time, and I'm done letting you push me away. Get home safely, and come see me when you're ready."

I woke up at six the next morning to clear skies. Being up that early was a bitch, but a necessary one. I had a few more things to pack before I could pick up the moving truck. I had just picked up a coffee and cruller from _Dunkin' Donuts_ when Caesar called me and asked me to meet him at the house to give me my new keys and show me how to use the alarm system. I'd chosen a six-digit number that I could remember, but that wasn't so obvious any moron with access to Google could figure it out. I chose the date that I first met Ranger, not knowing if he would remember it. I was tempted to ask Caesar if Ranger was back yet, since he had said he would be back yesterday, but decided against it. I didn't know Caesar well enough to know if he was in on the Stephanie-Ranger soap opera.

Lula and Connie had agreed to help me with my move. I picked up the rental truck at eleven that morning and had started loading some of the boxes by the time they arrived.

"I should've rethought my wardrobe," Lula said after the fifth time her boobs popped of out her tube top as we carried the dining room table out of the building and into the moving truck. I rolled my eyes as we situated the table in the truck, pushing boxes underneath it to help keep it from sliding around and opening up room for the couch.

Connie came out carrying the two chairs from my dining room table. I noticed she was barefoot.

"Don't start," she said when she saw me looking at her feet. Between her four-inch stilettos and Lula's purple-sequined tube top, I had the worst movers ever, but I wasn't going to complain. I appreciated the help nonetheless.

We got down out of the truck and were heading back to the door when a black Escalade pulled into the parking lot and parked in a spot on the other side of the truck. I knew it was a Rangeman vehicle and felt my pulse pick up, waiting to see if it was Ranger.

A minute later, Hal got out of the driver's seat and Ranger appeared from around the passenger side. I smiled and waved.

"Is Rangeman getting into the moving business?" I asked hopefully.

Ranger smirked. "We're mercenaries, babe. We'll do anything for the right price."

"Does the honor of spending time in the company of three of Trenton's most attractive bachelorettes pay the price for some help moving furniture?"

Hal and Ranger exchanged looks, probably thinking I was full of shit. "Okay, maybe not the most attractive, but the most desperate. Connie's had to resort to being barefoot, and I've seen more of Lula's boobs than I ever cared to see," I told them, getting a smile out of them both.

"Hunh, your ass," Lula said. "I've got nice titties. Hal won't mind seeing them, will you?"

Poor Hal flushed red and headed inside the building. Lula and Connie followed, leaving me and Ranger standing outside.

"I thought you were supposed to be back yesterday," I said, indicating that I was headed back inside. Ranger's expression was unreadable as he walked towards me. "I called you, but it went straight to voicemail."

"Our flight was delayed by a tropical storm in the Caribbean," he told me, guiding me towards the stairwell. He opened the door and I walked inside. I was half way up the first set of stairs when Ranger grabbed my arm and spun me around. He came up level to me, pushed me against the wall and kissed me. It was a warm kiss with lots of tongue, and he had one hand on the back of my neck and the other on my ass, pulling me into him.

"I got your message after I got off the plane in Newark," he told me after we broke apart. "I'm looking forward to continuing that conversation later."

The sound of the door on the second floor banging open caught our attention. I looked up to see Lula looking over the railing at us.

"Hal needs Ranger's help with the couch, on account of my titties keep falling out of my shirt when I try to pick it up and poor Hal can't handle it. You can grope each other on your own time. I got better things to do than be moving furniture today."

Ranger smiled and shook his head. He grabbed my hand and we headed up to the second floor. Within half an hour, Hal and Ranger had the big furniture loaded onto the truck and Connie, Lula and I had gotten the last of the boxes shoved inside and the door closed. Connie and Lula were headed home, since I had Ranger and Hal to help with the big furniture. Hal would drive the moving truck over to my house and I would ride in the SUV with Ranger, since I'd left my car in the moving company's parking lot.

I went back up to the apartment for my purse, Rex's cage and to leave the keys on the counter for Dillion. I did one last check around the apartment to make sure nothing was left in the shower, closet or kitchen cabinets. I grabbed Rex, put the keys on the kitchen counter for Dillion, along with a note of thanks for his help over the years and telling him there was six-pack of beer in the fridge for him, put my purse on my shoulder and headed out the door. I said goodbye to Mrs. Besler, who was playing elevator operator and went out to the SUV. I climbed in the front next to Ranger and we drove off towards my house. The drive from my apartment to my new house was only five minutes, in which time we didn't speak. The conversation we needed to have would take more than five minutes, and there was no point in starting it when we wouldn't be alone for long.

Hal was waiting in front of the house when we arrived. I gave Ranger my keys and he unlocked the door. My new alarm system started beeping, indicating that I needed to punch in the security code. Ranger flipped open the panel on the keypad and punched in the code, quieting the alarm.

"A date that will live in infamy, babe," he said, a small smile playing on his lips.

"Agreed," I told him as I walked through the living room and into the kitchen, putting Rex down on the counter. Apparently Ranger did remember the exact date we first met. It made me feel warm inside.

"This is our new home, buddy," I told Rex. "I hope you like it."

Rex stood on his back legs, sniffed the air then went back into his soup can. The novelty had worn off already.

Hal and Ranger got my bedroom furniture upstairs and my living room furniture into the living area in less than an hour while I brought in the boxes and sorted them according to room. We finished our tasks about the same time, so I decided to return the truck before the office closed for the day.

"I need to go back to the office and do some work," Ranger said as I was shutting the door. "I'll be back over this evening."

"Okay. Thanks for helping me move," I said, waving to Hal, who was getting in the driver's seat of the SUV. He smiled and waved back. Ranger put a hand on my back, pulled me into a quick kiss and went to get in the car with Hal. I climbed in the truck and drove off, wanting to get back and get unpacked as quickly as possible, since my evening was likely to be filled with other activities.


	5. Let's Get It On

By eight that evening I was dirty, tired, and my entire body ached. I had unpacked the most important boxes, rearranged furniture, and put my bed back together. Ranger had still never come over, which made me wonder if he was going to have to bail on me tonight.

I remembered my new Jacuzzi upstairs and decided to take a bath and relax. I showered quickly and stepped back out so that I could start drawing the bath. Once the tub filled up, I turned on the jets and stepped in, groaning at the feel of the massaging pressure on my aching muscles. I rolled up a small towel to rest behind my head and closed my eyes. I wasn't sure how long I had been that way, but shrieked when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Jesus, you scared the crap out of me," I told Ranger, who was standing over me. I sat up, which caused the towel under my neck to fall into the water.

"Sorry, babe, but I didn't want you to drown," he told me, handing me a large purple towel. I turned off the jets, released the drain and stood, wrapping the towel around me.

Ranger scanned my body as I tucked my towel around me and grabbed a smaller towel to start drying my hair. His eyes were resting on the spot between my breasts where the towel was tucked in.

"Quitting staring," I told him, wringing out the excess water from the ends of my hair.

"Well hurry up and get dressed. I brought pizza and beer, and I believe you and I need to have a conversation," he said, smacking me on the ass before he walked out of the bathroom.

I dressed quickly in yoga pants and a t-shirt before padding downstairs, the smell of _Pino's_ wafting up to greet me. Ranger had plates and napkins set out when I walked in the kitchen.

"You've learned your way around already," I told him, opening the pizza box.

"Your plates and napkins were in a box labeled _kitchen_ _shit you use sometimes._ It wasn't too hard to figure out."

I shrugged. "I'll get more stuff as I go along. Maybe I'll even learn how to cook. It's going to be part of the _Stephanie grows up_ movement."

"Well, I'm impressed. You bought a house, and a nice one at that. Good job, babe."

I smiled at him, feeling warm at his compliment. Growing up wasn't so bad.

We took our pizza and beer into the living room and sat on the couch.

"I can't believe you brought pizza and beer. That doesn't seem in keeping with the _body is a temple_ philosophy," I told him, biting into my pizza.

"I knew I'd have your focus better if I brought something you liked," he replied.

We finished our pizza while I asked about his trip. He told me he had accompanied a trade commission to Bolivia. He said it went well, nothing out of the ordinary happened with the exception of having to wait for a different flight back home due to bad weather. I suspected that _nothing out of the ordinary_ meant that he'd had to threaten people, possibly shoot a couple, but that no one had died.

We cleaned up after ourselves, put the rest of the pizza in the fridge, and went back to the living room. Ranger sat down in the middle of the couch and pulled me down next to him. I curled my legs underneath me and started playing with a piece of my hair.

"Are you sure about this?" he asked. I didn't have to ask what he meant.

"Yes," I told him. "I know I love you, and I want to see where we could go if we gave a real relationship a try."

Ranger ran a finger along my jawbone and looked into my eyes. "I can't promise you anything, babe. I've been alone for a long time. I'm not sure if I'll ever want to get married, but I'm not ruling it out. I don't know that I'll ever want a family, but I do know that I want to be with you. Are you sure that's acceptable?"

I'd never been certain about marriage and family either. My marriage to Dickie had been a disaster, and I didn't really know much about kids. My mother was constantly nagging at me to get married, but sometimes I thought that marriage was overrated. You could be in a relationship with someone that was just as good, even without a piece of paper legally binding you to each other and mutual ownership of property.

"I am, but I do want you to open up to me. I feel like I barely know you sometimes. I don't expect to know all of your deepest, darkest secrets, but I want to know more about you, your family and so forth."

"You may change your mind about that after meeting my family. Your family may be crazier, but mine is larger and louder," Ranger said with a small smile. "I'll try to be more open, I promise, but it won't be easy. It doesn't come naturally to me. But if I'm adamant about not telling you about something, I need you to respect that and not push it. There are things I can't talk about, things that are just too painful to talk about, and things that I will tell you if or when I think you can handle the information."

I nodded, knowing there was nothing to argue about. He was right; he'd seen and done things that I may not want to know about, and by pushing him to answer something, I could cause problems between us. My problem was that I was a naturally inquisitive—okay, _nosey_ —person by nature, and I might not be able to distinguish the difference between Ranger being Ranger, and him warning me not to push the issue. Just one more thing to change about myself.

Ranger ran his palm across my cheek and around the back of my head, pulling me towards him. Our lips met and I melted into him. Almost instinctually, I felt guilty as my mind went to Morelli. Then I remembered that Morelli and I were no longer playing the off-and-on game, and I was officially in a relationship with Ranger, so my guilt was unfounded. I pushed it away and enjoyed the fact that I was kissing my boyfriend.

I started giggling mid-kiss, causing Ranger to pull back suddenly. Giggling soon turned into full-on laughter. I couldn't stop laughing. I laid my head on the back of the couch and let the feeling consume me, knowing resistance was futile. I'd kissed Ranger more times than I could count, yet I'd never started cracking up about it. I'd had bouts of guilt and overwhelming lust, but never laughter. It dawned on me that it had started when I thought of Ranger as my _boyfriend_. There was nothing _boy_ about him. The term felt juvenile for thirty-one year-olds who had already been intimate on a number of occasions. I realized it was also to do with being in a real relationship with Ranger, something I had never thought would happen.

"Want to let me in on the joke?" Ranger asked, a smile playing at the corners of his mouth.

I went through four rounds of "Okay, I'm good. Really." and then losing it again before I pulled it together enough to talk.

"I called you my _boyfriend_ in my head after we started kissing," I said, a small giggle squeaking out. God, I felt like I was fifteen again.

That earned a full-on smile from Ranger. "I've been called worse."

"It was just the term. It sounds juvenile, and definitely doesn't fit you. There's nothing boyish about you; you're very manly. Maybe I can call you my _manfriend_?"

Ranger stared at me for a few moments, probably second-guessing his decision to have a relationship with someone who had such a childish sense of humor.

"I don't care what you call me, just don't call me 'bad in bed'," he replied. "Speaking of which...,"

Ranger grabbed my hand and pulled me up to standing. He continued to hold my hand as he locked the front door, set the alarm, turned out the lights and headed upstairs. Once inside my bedroom, Ranger pulled me up against him and kissed me deeply. His tongue touched mine, setting off a fire in my body. I ran my hands up his chest, over his shoulders and into his hair. He grabbed my ass and pulled me up against him. I could feel his erection press into my stomach, which made me groan into our kiss. I pushed him back against my bed and he fell, bringing me down on top of him. I straddled him and started working on his shirt, pulling it up over his head. Ranger reached behind him and pulled his back-up gun from the small of his back, handing it to me to place on the bedside table. I moved off of him to start working on his pants. Ranger leaned over and pulled up his pants leg, revealing a knife in a holster. He repeated the process of giving me the knife to put up for safe-keeping before lying back down on the bed. I paused as I started on the button of his cargo pants.

"You don't have a bomb attached to your fly, do you? I feel like I'm trying to break into Fort Knox here," I told him.

He smiled at me. "Fireworks don't start until we're both naked."

He lifted his hips as I started pulling his pants down, pausing to take off his heavy boots and socks. Once I finally had his pants off, I took a minute to look at a very naked, and very aroused, Ranger.

"For a lapsed Catholic, I've been very blessed. Who knew I could get something as hot as you just from showing up to Mass on Sunday?"

I tossed my t-shirt dramatically onto the floor and shimmied out of my yoga pants. Once I was naked, Ranger leaned forward, grabbed my arm and pulled me onto the bed with him, kissing my neck as he ran his fingers down my body, leaving a trail of fire. Twenty minutes later, Ranger had me moaning loudly, testing out the soundproofing between my house and the townhouse next to mine.

We lay together for a while, both of us breathing loudly and rapidly. I felt like my heart was about to beat out of my chest. Sex with Ranger was always amazing. He had the ability to make me feel like I'd just had some of the most out-of-control, sweaty monkey sex with a tenderness and passion that only came from making love. I was just about to fall asleep in his arms when his cell phone started ringing from the vicinity of the dark floor. I made a disgusted sigh as Ranger got up, dug out his phone and answered it. He listened for a minute, then said he'd be there in twenty and hung up.

"I have to go, babe. One of my men just called off, so I need to cover a patrol shift," he said, pulling his pants on.

I sat up in bed, pulling the sheet up over my chest. "Okay, you asked me not to hound you on issues that you don't want to talk about, right? So now, I'm asking something of you. I want you to take one night off every week. I don't care which night. It doesn't even have to be the same night every week, but I am asking you to take off one night every week where you don't have your phone on and you spend the night here with me. We can stay in, or we can go out, but the point is that it's you and me spending time together without interruptions."

Ranger had been dressing the entire time I talked, pulling on his shirt, socks and shoes and replacing his weapons. He had just started to open his mouth when his phone rang again. I rolled my eyes and fell back onto my pillow, laying my arm over my eyes as he answered in a tone that expressed his displeasure. He listened for a minute and hung up without saying another word.

"I'll see you later," he said, and I heard his footsteps walk out of my bedroom and down the stairs. I heard him hit some buttons on the alarm and shut the front door behind him. I rolled over and lay in the spot that was still warm from Ranger. We'd been a couple for two hours, and he'd already been called into work. I started to worry that he might not like my demand of taking a night off every week to spend with me. The longer I thought about it, the more self-centered and petty it seemed. He ran a successful business, one that required him to stay actively involved all of the time to be sure that his employees were doing their jobs well, and adapting to the changes that come with increasingly intelligent and creative criminals.

I finally fell asleep around one in the morning, thinking that I would apologize to Ranger later, citing exhaustion and raging hormones for my demanding outburst. When I woke up a few hours later, I realized it was because Ranger was sitting on the edge of the bed, taking off his boots. He took off his gun belt, put his back-up piece and knife on the bedside table and lay down next to me. He rolled over and seemed surprised to find me watching him.

"I didn't mean to wake you up," he said, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. "I just got in, and I'm beat. I'm going to get a couple of hours sleep. Are you staying in bed, or getting up for the morning?"

I looked over Ranger's shoulder at the clock on my bedside table. If I wanted to go to morning Mass, I had an hour to get ready. I debated for a minute whether to stay in bed with Ranger, or go to church. Last week was the first non-Christmas Mass I'd been to in years, and I'd told myself last week that going to Mass on Sundays was going to be part of my new life plan.

I groaned and sat up in bed. "I should go to Mass. Damn me and my plans," I said, kicking off the covers. I'd never gotten redressed after sex the night before, so I was naked as I got up and started grabbing clothes.

"Besides, it will give you a couple of uninterrupted hours of sleep. You look exhausted."

Ranger nodded and closed his eyes, burying his face in the pillow I'd been sleeping on just moments before. I quickly grabbed everything I'd need and headed to the bathroom. My hair looked like crap, so I jumped in the shower to wash off the smell of sex and get my hair wet enough to become manageable once more. I put on the black skirt, red shirt and black jacket I'd picked out and bent down to put on my shoes, then swearing when I realized I'd grabbed my brown heels instead of black.

I tiptoed quietly back into my bedroom and opened the closet door to exchange the shoes. I looked over at Ranger, who was sleeping peacefully and went back out, shutting the door softly behind me. I hurried downstairs, got coffee going and looked around for something to eat. I really wanted a donut, but settled for toast with some white chocolate peanut butter I'd recently discovered.

I ate and drank quickly, brushing crumbs off my shirt as I turned off the alarm and walked out the back door to my car, which was parked in the garage. To my dismay, I found Ranger's Turbo parked in the small driveway behind the garage, blocking me in. I swore, turned around and went back in the house. I found a piece of paper and pen, jotted a quick note to Ranger that I was taking his car to Mass, and left him the keys to mine in case he needed to leave. Not that I imagined he'd be caught dead driving my ten year-old green Camry, but I didn't want to leave him stranded. He'd left his keys on the hooks I had put up in the kitchen for such an occasion, so I grabbed them and replaced them with mine, rolling up the note and sticking it through the key rings. The clock told me I had twelve minutes until Mass started, and it was a seven-minute drive in good traffic to get to church. I was just about to shut the back door behind me when I realized I didn't have any house keys to use to get back inside. I didn't want to have to wake up Ranger when I came home, so I turned and went back into the house again, extracted the house keys from the rest of my key chain, hung them back up along with the note, and left the house once more. That had eaten up two more minutes of my time to spare, so I had my foot to the floor as I hurried to church in Ranger's sports car.

By the time I got back home two hours later, I was not in a good mood. I'd nearly had an accident on my way to church, which had sent my blood pressure through the roof at the thought of damaging another of Ranger's cars. I'd slipped in mud as I ran across the parking lot to get into the church and skinned my knees. I had made it in the doors just in time to sit down with my mother and grandmother when my cell phone started ringing. The display told me it was Lula, but I had shut it off quickly, ignoring the glares of people around me. Finally, once the service was over, I had been cornered by Bella Morelli, who had proceeded to threaten me with the evil eye for causing her favorite grandson to move so far away. I'd gone to my parents' for after-church donuts, during which time my mother proceeded to tell me about all of the single men in the area. I had planned to tell them about my relationship with Ranger, but after the morning I'd had, I decided to tell them later. I wasn't in the mood for Grandma's comments about how hot he was and her questions about whether he was good in bed, coupled by my mother's interrogation about if we'd be getting married and not-so-secret trips to the liquor cabinet.

I got home at half past ten and walked upstairs, where Ranger was still asleep in my bed. I kicked off my heels, took of my jacket and crawled in bed. I snuggled up next to him and he put an arm around me, pulling me close. I breathed in the smell of his shower gel, which made me feel like something was right with the world. At least, until I remembered the demands I'd made of Ranger the night before, which made me nervous again.

"Busy morning?" Ranger asked sleepily.

"Growing up is bullshit," I said into his chest.

I felt him chuckle. "It has its moments."

I looked up at him and saw he was awake now, looking down at me with an amused expression on his face. Ranger somehow always managed to go from fast asleep to perfectly awake without any transition. I required a cup of coffee to even remember my own name after waking up.

"I'm sorry about last night," I told him.

"I told you I've been called worse names than _boyfriend_." What a comedian.

"No, about being so demanding after you got called into work. I thought about it after you left, and I realized it sounded petty. You're a busy man; you own a company and you have to stay engaged with it. I blame exhaustion and that great sex for my outburst."

Ranger propped himself up on an elbow and looked down at me, his expression serious. "Stephanie, what you asked of me wasn't unreasonable. We're in a relationship now, and that means there are things that we both have to work on in order to make it work. I think your suggestion is good, and I'm going to do it. I want to be able to spend uninterrupted time with you, but I am requesting that these nights not include dinner with your family. I'm not saying I won't go with you occasionally, but I don't want to waste my free night doing it. Is that fair?"

I nearly fainted with relief. He wasn't angry with me and better yet, he was in agreement about the arrangement. I leaned up and kissed him.

"Deal."


	6. Bad Romance

Ranger and I crawled out of bed at one o'clock, having spent the remainder of the morning alternating between napping and having sex. I made us some turkey sandwiches for lunch, and we were watching a football game on television when my phone rang. It was my mother.

"I'm making pot roast and pineapple upside-down cake for dinner," she said. "Should I set you a place?"

"Absolutely," I told her, peeking over at Ranger, who shook his head. Know-it-all.

"I was thinking of inviting Jimmy Tortelli for dinner as well," my mother said. "He's single, and he's doing very well managing the automotive store."

I groaned and cuddled into Ranger's chest. "Mom, don't invite Jimmy to dinner. I don't need set up. I'm actually seeing someone."

There was a pause on the other end of the phone. "What? When? Why didn't you saying something this morning after church? Who is he? Bring him to dinner tonight!" I slapped myself in the forehead while my mother went on with her questions.

"Mom, save your questions for later," I told her, feeling Ranger chuckle. "And he can't come, he's busy. I'll see you at six." I hung up before she could start up her questions again.

I looked up at Ranger, who was trying to keep the smile off his face. "You do realize you'll have to face them from time to time, right? You can't always be working or have an emergency come up to get out of it. There are only so many break-ins and sick employees that can get you out of dinner."

Ranger kissed my forehead. "There's always at least one country in need of a coup," he replied.

I got to my parents' house at five minutes to six. Ranger had left a little after two, saying he needed to get showered, changed, and back into the office, as he still had work waiting for him after being gone so much in the last few weeks. I walked in to find my mother and grandmother getting the table ready, and my father walking to the table to take his spot. I helped bring out the rest of the food, and we all sat down to start eating.

"Now will you tell us about this man you're suddenly dating?" my mother asked, looking at me expectantly.

"It's Ranger. We decided to start seeing each other exclusively yesterday," I said, taking a bite of my pot roast.

"Ooo, he's hot. Well done, Stephanie," Grandma Mazur said, clapping her hands together. "And I bet he's rich too. He drives all those expensive cars."

My mother looked stunned. "I didn't realize you had that kind of a relationship with him. He has a good job, and he makes you happy. That's all that matters, right?" she said, her tone becoming slightly panicked as she took a big swig of her wine.

I was a bit surprised by this. My mother was always complaining about my job and its dangers. I guess it's different if it's a man doing the job.

"He does. He's a good man, and we love each other. We're not rushing into anything, though. We've both been divorced, and want to make sure things will work out long-term before even considering marriage." I gave my mother a significant look, since I knew that was likely to be one of her questions.

"But I don't want to call him _Ranger_ ," my mother said, pouring herself more wine. "It just sounds wrong to say 'This is my daughter Stephanie, and her boyfriend, Ranger.' What should I call him instead?"

"Just call him Carlos," I replied.

"He isn't Italian," my father piped in. I hadn't realized he'd been listening to the conversation. "But he looks more terrifying than any mobster ever could."

"His family is Cuban. And yes, he's terrifying if you don't know him. Occupational hazard." I didn't mention that even when you knew him as intimately as I did, he was still kind of scary.

"I bet he's good under the covers," Grandma said, winking at me. "Have you found out yet?"

I shoveled mashed potatoes in my mouth as quickly as I could to avoid the question. Thankfully, my mother didn't want to know this information any more than I wanted to give an answer.

"Is his family around here?" she asked, giving Grandma a disapproving glare.

"I know his parents and one of his grandmothers live in Newark, which is where he grew up. He has another grandmother and his daughter in Miami. He has one brother and four sisters, but I don't know if they are still in Jersey."

"I forgot he had a daughter," my mother said, looking thoughtfully. "She was the little girl that was kidnapped, right? The one you helped get back and then Carlos was shot in your apartment confronting the man?"

I nodded. "Yes, Julie. She's almost twelve now. She lives with her mom and step-father."

"Does she visit often?"

I shook my head. "I don't know that she's ever come up here to visit. Ranger hasn't been very involved in her life. He was young and in the Army when she was born. He let her step-father adopt her when she was little, but Ranger still pays support and visits when he's invited. He has a good relationship with the whole family."

"Does he want more children?" she asked, making me roll my eyes.

"Mom, we've been a couple for about twenty-four hours. Let's hold off on the children discussion for while."

Later, after I got home with a bag of leftovers, I thought more about Julie and Ranger. I hadn't heard Ranger mention Julie again since right after he was shot. I had asked how Julie was doing, and Ranger had replied she had been doing well getting readjusted after the kidnapping, but that had been the extent. I didn't know how often he saw her, or if their relationship had changed since he saved her life. Julie had been worried about him after he was shot. I'd been amazed at her strength when she attacked Scrog and shot him after he'd shot Ranger. She'd also insisted on riding in the ambulance with him to the hospital. I felt bad thinking about the fact that she and I had been held captive together and she had likely saved Ranger's life, but that I hadn't asked about her again. I resolved to change that the next time we were together.

I went to the bond's office the next morning, intending to get started on the four open FTAs I had, and to get the death certificate for Melissa Elliott. The after effects of Ranger sex had still been plastered on my face, because as soon as I walked in, Connie and Lula broke into equal grins.

"Someone got some this weekend," Lula said. "Was that your payment for the moving services?"

Connie gave me a significant look, silently asking if my decision was final. I nodded.

"Ranger and I are dating," I announced, which earned me a round of applause and cheers.

"I don't know how you manage to get all of these hot men, but for some reason they like you. At least this one isn't a cop," Lula said.

Connie rolled her eyes at the backhanded compliment.

I had Connie run some checks on my four open FTAs and told her about Melissa Elliott dying. She found out that the guy who cut off his neighbor's foot was no longer employed; presumably his boss thought he would get violent again, so he should be at home. His name was Joseph York, he was twenty-nine and the size of a linebacker. Louise Griffith had stolen her brother's car after he failed to repay her the five-hundred dollars he had borrowed twenty years ago. She lived with their mother one block away from my parents. The drunk and disorderly FTAs were actually a married couple named Taylor and Sunshine Coromon. They had been celebrating their first wedding anniversary at the local park and had too much to drink. A police officer had caught them having sex on a picnic table and when they refused to stop rutting like animals and put their clothes back on, he'd arrested them.

"Let's go get York first and get him out of the way. Hopefully the others won't be too hard," I told Lula.

"No way. I ain't going over to some lunatic's house who cuts off his neighbor's foot. I like my feet and I need both of them on account of I have too many shoes to wear on just one foot," she told me, settling into the couch with a copy of Fifty Shades of Grey.

I waved goodbye and walked out to my car. York lived on Martin Street, which branched off of Stark. Not my favorite part of town. I was about a block away from York's house when my phone rang. It was Ranger.

"What's up?" I asked as I turned onto Stark Street.

"I have another security system I need your input on. Where are you?"

"I'm on Stark Street. I need to pick up an FTA on Martin."

"Who is it?"

"Joseph York. Cut off his neighbor's foot with an axe after a disagreement."

"Is Lula with you?"

"No, she didn't want to come. She said she has too many shoes to be minus a foot."

"I've tangled with Joe York in the past. I'll meet you there and help you get him to the police station."

I disconnected and turned onto Martin Street, finding York's house about halfway down the block. It was a dilapidated ranch, with peeling yellow paint and a scary-looking dog chained up out front. It began barking and pulling at the chain as soon as I got out of the car. I had my stun gun, pepper spray and cuffs in my pockets. I locked the Camry and walked up to the yard, giving the dog a wide berth. I knocked on the front door and waited, hoping the dog didn't break the chain and eat me. After a minute, the door opened, revealing a man the size of Tank. He was wearing a wife-beater tank top and blue boxers. I repressed a shudder as I spoke.

"Joe York?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm Stephanie Plum, from your bail bond's company. You missed your court date, and I need to take you in to get rescheduled."

York stepped outside, towering over me. He looked at me like I was lunch, licking his lips.

"I don't mind going in with a sexy little bounty hunter like you," he said, walking towards me. I immediately began stepping backwards, hoping I didn't fall over something. "But I think you'll have to convince me, if you know what I mean."

"Not going to happen," I said, reaching in my back pocket for my stun gun. "You need to get dressed and we'll get in the car."

York was too quick for me, grabbing my arm which in turn caused me to knock the stun gun out of my pocket and onto the ground. York kicked the stun gun towards his dog, which started trying to eat it. I tried to fight him off, but York's strength was too much for me. He pulled me up against his body and started grinding against me. Nausea rolled over me at the feeling of his erection against my stomach, along with the knowledge that I would get raped if I didn't get away very soon. I was pulled too closely to his body to be able to kick him in the balls, so I bit him on the arm as I tried to push away.

"You bitch!" he screamed, pulling back enough to strike me while still holding tight to me with his other hand. He was about to hit me again when a shot rang out, hitting York in the shoulder. I fell to the ground and scrambled away. I looked over and saw Ranger with his gun drawn, running towards us from his car. York was yelling and clutching his shoulder.

"Get on the ground, hands behind your back," Ranger ordered, his gun still trained on York. York charged at Ranger, and Ranger fired again, hitting York in the knee. York fell to the ground, screaming. Ranger straddled York and cuffed him behind his back.

"Are you okay?" he asked, looking over at me. I was shaking slightly and my left cheekbone was killing me.

I nodded. "I think so. Just sore from where he hit me."

Ranger called 911, and gave me a hand up. He looked at my cheek. "I don't think anything's broken, but you're going to have a nasty bruise tomorrow."

I nodded and Ranger pulled me into him. I did some deep breathing, taking in Ranger's scent. I found it hard to settle my nerves though, when I could feel the anger coming off of him. We heard the sirens in the distance, and the police and an ambulance arrived about a minute later, followed by a Rangeman vehicle. York was restrained on a gurney and loaded into the back of the ambulance while police officers took my and Ranger's statements. I declined a trip to the hospital, but accepted an ice pack from a paramedic. One of the police officers gave me a body receipt for York, and Ranger and I were free to head back to our cars.

"Do you still want me to look at that system today?" I asked, readjusting the ice pack while we walked.

Ranger shook his head. "No, I called the client while you were being examined by the paramedic and rescheduled for tomorrow. Do you want me to take you home? I can have one of my men follow in your car."

I considered my options for a moment. I still had the Coromons and Griffith to pick up. They weren't charged with violent crimes, so I thought I was safe.

"Thanks, but I have three more FTAs. One grand theft auto and a married couple charged with drunk and disorderly. I doubt they'll be too hard to pick up," I told Ranger, palming my keys.

"I'll help you. I have some time open since we aren't doing the system walkthrough today. Give Woody your car keys and he can drop it off for you. We'll take the Cayenne and pick up the rest of your people."

Normally, I'd be mildly offended at Ranger's presumptuousness, but today I was thankful. I was still keyed up after the attack. The knowledge that I would have been raped if Ranger hadn't known where I was going and been on his way sent a chill through me. I handed Woody my car keys, thanked him and climbed into the Cayenne next to Ranger. I gave him Louise Griffith's address, which was off of Broad Street. When we arrived at Louise's house, I went up to the door while Ranger idled in the car. I knocked on her door, and a woman in a very tight white dress answered. She was around forty and around my height with brown hair and green eyes. She was pretty, if you could look past the fact that her dress was so sheer you could tell she wasn't wearing a bra or panties and that she preferred a Brazilian bikini wax.

I gave her the line of missing her court date and needing to reschedule. She looked out at the car, seeing Ranger in the driver's seat. I grimaced as I saw her nipples get hard.

"I'll go in, but only if that sexy man comes up to handcuff me," she said, biting on her bottom lip. I rolled my eyes. This was another situation I'd have to deal with when in a relationship with Ranger. I'd never met a woman who didn't drool over Ranger. We'd even arrested a lesbian once who said she'd bat for the other team if Ranger would have her. I looked over at Ranger and motioned for him to come to the door. He turned off the car and walked up to us, and I noticed his gaze didn't go lower than Louise's face.

"Louise says she will go in, but wants you to be the one to handcuff her," I told him.

Louise pushed her arms out in front of her which moved her boobs up and out for better viewing. "Hey there, sexy," she said, her voice taking on a deep, sultry tone that had no doubt lured many men into her bed.

Ranger rolled his eyes as he put the cuffs on her. My bad habit seemed to be rubbing off on him.

"Wouldn't you like to come inside and have a little fun with these first?" she asked, holding up her wrists. She turned to look at me. "You can wait in the car, honey."

Ranger and I both grabbed an arm and escorted Louise into the back of the Cayenne. I went up to shut her front door and returned to the car to find her talking to Ranger, who was steadfastly ignoring her.

"How about after I get out later today? I can cancel my plans for tonight so we could have all night long," she said, trying to catch Ranger's eye in the rearview mirror. I buckled my seat belt and we backed out of the drive and headed to the police station.

She continued to make suggestions, to which Ranger made no comment. After five minutes, she started to get irritated.

"Does he not know how to talk?" she asked me.

"He doesn't talk much," I replied. "Especially when he's not interested in the topic of conversation."

Louise huffed. "What man isn't interested in sex?

"It's isn't that, it's the fact that he's not interested in sex with you."

"You don't know that."

"I do."

"Don't."

I looked over at Ranger, who looked like he was fighting off a smile.

"She's right," he finally told Louise.

Louise leaned forward as much as she could in the seatbelt. "Why not, honey? You got a girlfriend at home who wouldn't understand?"

"Yes, but that's not the only reason."

"I think you should know I don't have a gag reflex, so I can —,"

"I do have a gag reflex, and you're testing it," I told her. "So shut up."

We pulled into the police station and unloaded Louise a minute later. I went inside to get my body receipt and headed out to the car, thankful Ranger hadn't decided I wasn't worth the wait and abandoned me.

"I bet you're now wishing you hadn't offered to help me," I told him.

"I was hoping you'd shoot her. I would have done it, but I've already shot someone today. It might have looked bad."

Our next stop was the Coromons' house. We knocked on the door, but no one answered. I tried the knob and found it unlocked, so Ranger and I walked in. We could hear noise coming from a room in the back of the house, so Ranger and I walked down the hall and towards the source. We turned and walked into a bedroom to find a man and a woman in the doggy –style position, facing away from us. Not the best view. We backed out of the room and stood a few feet down the hall.

"Taylor and Sunshine Coromon?" I yelled. "We're bond enforcement. You missed your court date and you need to get rescheduled. We need you to get dressed and come with us."

"Give us five more minutes," a man's voice said, and we heard their moaning start up again.

"What the hell?" I asked, throwing my hands in the air. "Did someone put an aphrodisiac in the water today? First York humps me, then Louise Griffith tries to seduce you, and now we have to walk in on these two. I'm done for the day. I'm shooting the next horny person I have to deal with today."

Ranger guided me down the hall towards the front door. "I hope I'm an exception to that rule."

I rolled my eyes.

We stood silently near the front door, listening for the big finale. Ten minutes later, Sunshine and Taylor were in the back of the Cayenne, and we were pulling into the police station once more. They thanked us for letting them finish as we walked them to the check-in desk. The officer sitting there chuckled as he read the report.

"Must be in the air today," he said as he filled out our body receipts. "That chick you brought in earlier has been trying to get a date by doing her best _Basic Instinct_ move every time a man walks past the holding cell."

I wrinkled my nose as I took the paperwork and we left the station. Connie called Ranger's cell phone as we drove, saying she had an FTA for him, so we stopped in at the office so Ranger could pick up his file and I could turn in my body receipts.

"What happened to you?" Lula asked. She was sitting at Connie's desk and they were sharing a bucket of chicken. I snatched a piece of chicken and informed them of my run-in with York and about Ranger helping me bring in the other three FTAs.

"Damn," Connie said as she wrote out my checks. "It's a good thing Ranger was on his way. You could be the one in the hospital otherwise." I shuddered at the thought.

"Is there anything else?" I asked Connie. "If not, I'm going to call it a day."

Connie shook her head. "Just this one for Ranger. John Lee. Human trafficking and possession of a controlled substance. He's a million-dollar bond, but word has it he's skipped to Seattle to his brother's house."

Ranger took the file and read it quickly. He nodded to Connie and grabbed my hand, pulling me towards the door. "See ya tomorrow," I told Connie and Lula, who smiled and waggled their eyebrows.

Ranger drove me home and idled out front. "I need to get back to the office, but I want to see you tonight. How about dinner and spending the night at my place?"

I considered that for a moment. Ella's cooking was amazing, and Ranger's sheets were infinitely softer than mine. "Sounds good. I'll be over around six."

Ranger watched me for a minute. "Are you sure you're okay? You had a close call today."

I nodded. "Yeah, I'm good. Thanks for saving my bacon. Again."

He kissed me lightly on the lips, then on my cheek where York had hit me. "Later, babe."

I went inside the house and plopped down on the couch, groaning when my back hit the hard, unexplainable ridge that was between each of the cushions. I sat up swearing, trying to figure out the emotions I was experiencing. I couldn't quite name the feeling, but it was something like disappointment. Did I think that just because I was dating Ranger than I'd suddenly be able to take down FTAs better, as though his skills would transfer to me just because I was his girlfriend? I went into the kitchen and found a bag of frozen french fries to put on my face. I went upstairs and started packing an overnight bag to take the Ranger's. I made sure to pack my whole make-up case, as I'd need it to cover up the bruise I'd find in the morning. Once the fries started to soften, I put them back in the freezer and headed upstairs to take a shower, trying to wash off the feeling of York's hands on me. I took a nap and woke up at a quarter to six. I went downstairs, gave Rex some food and told him I'd be back in the morning. I made sure the house was locked up and set the alarm as I went outside.

I got in my car and found the keys under the floor mat. I made it to Rangeman at exactly six, fobbing my way into the underground garage, onto the seventh floor and into Ranger's apartment. I threw my keys in the tray by the door, kicked off my shoes and put them along with my overnight bag in Ranger's dressing room. I went to the kitchen and poured myself a glass of wine and took it to the living room, where I settled on the couch and turned on a re-run of _Sex and the City_. Charlotte York was informing her friends of her intentions to convert to Judaism when Ranger walked in and informed me Ella had just brought dinner up.

While we ate a chicken and rice stew, I started thinking about my conversation with my mother the night before about Julie. I'd promised myself I would ask about her the next time I talked to Ranger.

"How's Julie doing?" I asked. "I always mean to ask about her." Okay, that was a lie, but he didn't know that.

"She's well."

I rolled my eyes and I stared at Ranger expectantly. I was well aware he didn't do small talk, but as his girlfriend, I was holding him to a higher standard. He looked up at me, setting down his spoon.

"What?"

"That's it? 'She's well?'"

"What did you expect me to say?"

"I've been wondering if things were different between you after the kidnapping. Do you see her more often? I'm curious. It's a part of your life you don't really talk about," I told him.

Ranger took a sip of wine. "Since the kidnapping, she's started calling me, which is something we'd never done before. I usually talk to her once a month. I hear about her friends, her school, the latest nonsense her younger siblings have gotten up to, and she tells me I need to make you my girlfriend. I used to only see her two or three times a year, but now I see her every couple of months."

I smiled. "She's a pretty great kid, and clearly very smart, since she kept telling you that you should make me your girlfriend."

Ranger smiled. "Yeah, I'd told her you had a boyfriend already, but she told me she thought I could take him. She remembered Morelli from when she was here and said he looked like a little runt."

I started laughing. ''She has guts. I think she was braver than me through the whole thing, and she went through more of it. That night at my old apartment really changed things. You and Julie now talk more, and that was the night I realized I was in love with you."

Ranger looked surprised. "Really? That night?"

I nodded. "I think I had been in love with you for a while, but that was when I first realized it. The knowledge that you could have been killed…" I trailed off, shuddering slightly. I'd never spoken to Ranger much about what happened with Scrog, and I definitely hadn't told him about realizing I was in love with him.

Ranger looked like he was going to say something, but decided against it. Instead, he stood up and started clearing the table, taking the dishes to the kitchen. I followed suit and we rinsed our dishes and put them in the dishwasher. At a couple of different points, I felt like Ranger wanted to say something, but changed his mind again. Once we had turned off the kitchen light, we went into the living room and settled down on the couch. Ranger wrapped an arm around me, pulling me into him. He kissed the top of my head before pulling back to look at me.

"Do you want to know when I realized I was in love with you?" he asked.

"Is the Pope Catholic?" I asked, causing Ranger to roll his eyes.

"I realized it after the first night we spent together. I had thought that after we slept together, I'd be able to better focus and move on from the sexual tension and attraction that was there between us. But that night after you'd gone to sleep, I laid there watching you and was amazed at how my view on your position in my life had changed so suddenly. I knew I'd do anything for you, and that if you ever married Morelli it would be more painful that any physical injury. When I was driving home from your apartment that next morning, I knew I was in love with you."

I nearly fainted as Ranger spoke from simply holding my breath. That night had been an entire year before I had realized I was in love with him.

"Wow," was all I could manage at that moment. I felt like crying, so I took a few seconds to breathe deep and pull myself together before speaking again.

"I can't believe you've opened up so much to me. It's wonderful, though I have to tell you I'm shocked. You always qualified your love with _in my own way_ , so I never quite knew what that meant. You told me later your love didn't come with a ring, so I assumed it had meant you loved in me in a way that I couldn't understand."

Ranger snorted. "I don't know how to tell you this, but men are idiots and sometimes I lie. I thought you wanted the Burg life with a little house and children and a husband who was home in time for dinner at exactly six o'clock each night. I figured you could have that with Morelli, and while I knew it would hurt me if you did marry him, your happiness was more important."

I couldn't stop the tears that came after that pronouncement. I started sobbing into Ranger's chest, clutching his shirt to my face. I felt him wrap his arms around me tighter. In that moment, I felt like a horrible person, knowing that he had been considering my feelings much more than I had been considering his in the past. After a minute or two, I pulled it together and let go of Ranger's shirt. I looked up at him, and he shook his head like he couldn't believe what he had just witnessed.

"What?!" I asked.

"You're unbelievable. You have cars destroyed on a regular basis, you've been held at gunpoint, kidnapped, set on fire, locked in a coffin, nearly raped, been bombed, and had your apartment broken into more times than any other place on the planet, yet you cry at stuff like this, and Mama Macaroni's funeral."

I glared at Ranger and punched him in the chest. "You're an asshole. You're lucky I love you, otherwise I'd kick you."

Ranger smiled and kissed me. "I'm a lucky man then."

He made to kiss me again, but I stopped him. "You do know that you've never actually told me you loved me without telling me it was in your own way before, right?"

Ranger raised an eyebrow. "I haven't?"

I shook my head.

He ran his fingers through my hair, brushing some of it back away from my face. His eyes met mine, and the moment felt incredibly intimate and romantic.

"I love you, Stephanie Plum, in every possible way."


	7. I Was Here

I found myself feeling very chipper over the next couple of days. Life was good. I was in a relationship with a great man who had finally told me he loved me without trying to diminish it in some way, I had a house of my own, and I hadn't had a car blow up for some time.

On Wednesday morning, I had just taken a shoplifter who had forgotten to go to court back to jail when my mother called me.

"Stephanie, I want you and Carlos to come to dinner tonight. What should I fix? I don't know what he would like."

I thought about it for a minute. Everything my mom cooked was higher in calories and fat content than Ranger's typical diet.

"I don't think it matters, Mom. He tends to eat healthy foods, so I think he'll have to break his normal routine no matter what you fix. But I need to check to see if he's available tonight before you do anything you wouldn't normally do," I said, thinking Ranger would probably have a reason for not going.

"He has to eat sometime," she replied. "It's not like I'm asking him to move in here. Now, what kind of dessert would he like?"

"He doesn't eat dessert, so just make whatever you want."

My mother sighed and hung up. I immediately dialed Ranger, so I could tell my mother whether to expect him or not.

"My mom wants us at dinner tonight. Can you make it?" I asked when he answered.

Ranger didn't say anything for a moment. "No."

"Why not?"

"There are plenty of reasons."

"Name one."

"I don't want to go."

"Not good enough. Try again."

Ranger sighed. "Babe, I'm not in the mood to have dinner with your family tonight. Your grandmother grabs my ass anytime I'm there, and your mother is only concerned with getting you married off."

Great, my family was scaring Ranger off just a few days into our relationship.

"Please, Ranger? I won't ask you to come much, but I do want you to come sometimes. This is the first time you'll have dinner with them since we became a couple. They'll be curious, but I've already warned my mother that marriage and children aren't to be pressed on us right now. And I'll be your bodyguard. Grandma will have to grab my ass before she gets to yours."

"Not tonight, Stephanie."

I knew he meant it when he used my full name. Ranger only used my full name when referring to me or when telling me something important. I felt disappointed that he couldn't give up an hour to have dinner with my family, but decided not to argue the point today. I was having a good day and didn't want to ruin it. We could talk about it another time.

"Fine, I'll let my mother know not to expect you. Talk to you later," I told him before I hung up. I knew it was a little passive-aggressive, but I didn't much care at the moment. I'd been mature and adult quite a bit lately, so I felt a little bit of petulance was warranted.

My phone rang and the ringtone and display told me it was Ranger. I hit the _ignore_ button, and drove on to my next FTA's house, trying not to feel sorry for myself. I had to remind myself that Ranger wasn't Morelli; he wasn't social, he didn't conform to anyone's expectation other than his own, and he wasn't especially worn down by passive-aggressive guilt trips.

Tony Dorado was the next person on my FTA list. He had been charged with identity theft and resisting arrest. He had tried to write a check and use the ID of the husband of one of the store clerks at the mall, who immediately called the police. He had been in Abercrombie and Fitch when the police showed up and he threw a mannequin at the cops in an effort to get away. Dorado lived on Rosewood, which was a fairly busy street on the edge of the Burg. I parked the Camry in front of his house. I put my cuffs in my pocket for easy access and walked up to the front door. It was a semi-detached two-story house similar to my parents, but a little smaller. I rang the doorbell and waited for Dorado to answer. After a minute, the door opened, revealing a Latino man about my height. He was wearing round-rimmed glasses, a plaid button-down shirt and jeans.

"Tony Dorado?"

" _Sí_?"

"I'm Stephanie Plum, I work for your bail bondsman. You missed your court date and you need to reschedule," I told him, watching his body language for the signs that he was planning to either make a run for it or attack me.

" _No hablo íngles_ ," he said, which I had learned from Ranger meant that someone didn't speak English.

Fantastic. I had called Ranger once before when I'd come across an FTA who only spoke Spanish, but I wasn't going to do that this time. I didn't want to be one of those women who called their boyfriend every time they couldn't do something. Not to mention I was a little mad at him.

"You need to come with me," I said slowly, pointing to him, then myself, then the car. Dorado shook his head.

"No." And then he slammed the door shut. I kicked the screen door, nearly putting my foot through it. I pulled out his file and read it over. Connie hadn't written anywhere about him not speaking English. I pulled out my phone and called the office.

"Why didn't you say Dorado doesn't speak English?" I asked when Connie answered.

"He does," she replied. "I was the one who bonded him out. He spoke perfect English. He didn't even have an accent. I believe he's second-generation Mexican-American."

That rat bastard.

"Ugh, he acted like he didn't understand a word I was saying," I told Connie, who chuckled.

I hung up and went back to my car to regroup. Dorado was going to be more of a pain in the ass than I had expected. I grabbed my pepper spray and was looking for my stun gun when I remembered that I'd never replaced it after York's dog had destroyed it. I dug around in my purse for another weapon and found my Mag light. I left my purse in the car, put my pepper spray in my pocket and went back to the house. This time, I opened the screen door and knocked on the inside door. I was going to get my foot in before he shut the door again, then cuff him.

Dorado didn't answer the door after three knocks, so I went around to the back yard. I peeked in a couple of windows along the way, but the curtains were drawn. When I got to the backyard, I found Dorado standing in front of his grill. There was a fire going and he was shoving papers into it, likely destroying evidence of more identity theft. I tried to walk up behind him quietly, but he sensed me and took off around the other side of the house. I ran after him, yelling and swearing at him for acting like he didn't speak English. Dorado kept running and ran into the middle of the street, running out in front of a semi-truck, which slammed on its brakes and swerved in an effort to avoid hitting him. Dorado managed to dodge the truck, which ended up running into and over my Camry, crushing it. I heaved a big sigh, but continued running after Dorado. This wasn't my first lost car and it wasn't likely to be my last.

I kept waiting for Ranger's call about my car being off the grid as I stalked through the neighborhood looking for Dorado, but it never came. I remembered after about five minutes that my phone was in the car, so there was no chance of getting through to me. I stopped in someone's backyard and sat down in one of their lawn chairs for a minute to catch my breath. Dorado had disappeared in one of the yards nearby, and I suspected he was hiding until he thought I was gone. I sat quietly for a few minutes, wondering if he would get brave and try to head home. I was right.

I'd been sitting about five minutes when Dorado came crawling out from behind a bush that divided two yards. He didn't notice me sitting in the chair, as it was behind his line of sight. I let him get towards the front of the house before I got up and started after him. He had just registered my presence when I tackled him, pinning him to the ground with my weight. I rolled him over, and for good measure, gave him a knee in the balls.

"You acted like you didn't speak English, made me chase you around like an idiot, and you got my car destroyed. I liked that car," I told him as he groaned and tried to curl up.

I let him lie there for a minute before pulling him to his feet and dragging him to the street. We'd managed to run down three blocks from his house, where I found the police, an ambulance, a fire truck and Ranger's Cayenne parked around the wreckage of my car and the semi. The driver seemed to have hit his head when he crashed, but was sitting up and talking. I didn't see a fire, luckily, so I hoped I would be able to get my purse from the car. It was a pain to try to get a new driver's license and credit cards, not to mention I had the body receipt from the shoplifter in my bag.

I saw Ranger speaking to Carl Costanza as I walked towards the wreckage. Ranger saw me and nodded in my direction, causing Carl to turn around.

"Want to take him off my hands?" I asked Carl, indicating the limping Dorado. "But watch him, he tries to act like he doesn't speak English."

Carl put Dorado in the back of the squad car and gave me a body receipt. I turned around and found Ranger being handed my purse by one of the firemen.

"Good, I was hoping to get my bag back," I said as I approached Ranger. "I hate trying to get all new stuff."

Ranger handed my bag to me and a piece of paper. It was my copy of the police report regarding the accident. "Where do you want me to take you?" he asked, putting his hand on the small of my back and guiding me back to the Cayenne.

"The office. I need to turn in my body receipts, and then I can get Lula to drive me around to get the rest of my FTAs."

Ranger walked me around to the passenger side of the car, but before I could open the door, he spun me around and pinned me against the Cayenne. He cradled my head between his hands and kissed me. It was a gentle, but passion-filled kiss. He pulled back after a minute, leaving me a bit breathless.

"You had me scared for a few minutes, babe," he said, running his hands down my arms. "Normally when your cars blow up, I call you and you tell me you're fine and need a ride. When I kept trying to call you and didn't get any answer, I started to worry you'd been hurt. It was a minute or so after I got here before we determined you weren't trapped inside the car. You hadn't answered when I called you earlier, so I wasn't sure what you had been doing beforehand."

I told Ranger what happened with Dorado as we got in the car and headed for the office. I could tell something was going on with Ranger, but couldn't quite place it. He wasn't angry, but he was using his deadly calm mode as he drove, which meant he was controlling something serious inside him. It made me wonder just how worried he had been about me.

We pulled up in front of the bond's office and I made to get out of the car, but Ranger grabbed my wrist.

I turned to face him and saw an expression in his face that I hadn't seen come across his face before: sadness. He pulled me towards him and kissed me again, putting one hand on the back of my head, and the other on my back. His kiss felt needy and I felt like he was trying to tell me something with it. He pulled out of the kiss, but pressed his forehead against mine with his eyes closed. He stayed like this for a few moments, not speaking or breathing. He finally pulled away, and I found his normal calm expression back on his face.

"Be careful, babe," he said, releasing the last of his grip on me.

"Is there something you want to talk about?" I asked.

Ranger shook his head. "Not right now."

I nodded, got out of the car and walked into the office.

"We heard about your car on the police scanner," Lula informed me. "At least it didn't explode."

"It's totaled though," I told her, handing Connie my body receipts. "Someday I'm not going to find a company willing to give me insurance and I'll have to ride the bus to pick up my FTAs."

"I can't believe you haven't reached that point before now," Connie said, handing me a check. "You've gone through a ton of cars."

I took my check and debated about going after my other two FTAs, but found my heart wasn't in it any longer. The destruction of yet another car, coupled with Ranger's strange mood made me want to go home, put on my sweats, nuke some macaroni and cheese and watch the _Game Show Network_ the rest of the day.

"Can you take me home?" I asked Lula.

"Sure, you done for the day?"

"Yeah, I am."

We stopped at Cluck-in-a-bucket, where I got chicken and a large Coke to accompany the macaroni and cheese I'd make at home. I waved goodbye to Lula and went in the house, going into the kitchen to get macaroni and cheese out of the fridge and putting it in the microwave. I ran upstairs to change clothes and got back to the kitchen in time for the ding of the microwave. I grabbed all of my food and settled in on the couch. Comfort food, comfort clothes and comfort television where the only things on the menu for the afternoon. It dawned on me that I had never called my mother to tell her Ranger wasn't coming to dinner, but I didn't want to deal with her at that moment. I was considering calling her and saying that neither of us could make it to dinner.

I was on my fourth episode of _The Newlywed Game_ when the front door opened and Ranger came inside. He looked worn down, the look of sadness on his face again.

"Hey," I said, sitting up from where I'd been stretched out on the couch. I patted the couch next to me and he walked over, taking off his gun belt and putting it on the coffee table before sitting down.

Ranger put an arm around me and pulled me into him, wrapping both arms around me and resting his head on mine. I nuzzled into his chest, listening to his heartbeat. We sat like this for a full episode of _Jeopardy!_ before Ranger spoke.

"Kinsey called me the other day to tell me that Amanda was pregnant. He was thrilled. This morning Amanda called me to say that Kinsey had a massive seizure today. The doctors discovered a brain tumor and he underwent surgery. He was in Intensive Care afterwards, but the prognosis didn't look good. He died an hour ago," he said, keeping me pulled tight into his chest as he spoke.

I was stunned. I had just seen them a few months ago when they were planning to get married and there had been a threat against Ranger and Kinsey by a former Special Forces member. Kinsey had seemed in good health and Amanda had been perfectly adorable and in love with him. I could picture Kinsey in my mind telling Ranger his good news and Amanda glowing with joy. Now I felt sick at the knowledge that she would be a widow and single mother before her first wedding anniversary rolled around. Ranger and Kinsey had remained close in the years since they left the Army, as Kinsey had asked Ranger to be his best man in the wedding.

"I'm so sorry," I told him, tightening my arms around him. "I can't believe it. Poor Amanda."

Ranger sighed. "Yeah, I know. It seems impossible that we all survived Orin's tactics a few months ago, only for Kinsey to die this way. And my day was only made worse when I thought for a few minutes that you might be hurt or dead after your car got totaled. Today is one shitty day."

I agreed. I felt bad for moping around about my car now that I knew about Kinsey. I was about to ask if Kinsey's funeral would be around Trenton when my cell phone rang. I checked the display and saw it was my mother.

"You never did let me know if Carlos can make it to dinner tonight," she said. "I need to get it started soon, so I need to decide what to make."

"We can't make it tonight, Mom. We'll try again another night," I told her as I snuggled back against Ranger. I disconnected a minute later and pulled back so that I could look Ranger in the face.

"Let's make tonight our night to stay in and ignore the world. I think you need it today," I told him, running my fingers through his hair. He closed his eyes at my touch and was silent for a moment.

"Let me run back to the office to take care of a few things, pack a bag, and tell Tank I'm offline until tomorrow morning," he said, kissing the inside of my wrist. He stood up, replaced his gun belt, and left the house.

I sat on the couch for a while after he left, thinking about Amanda and how alone she must feel. I couldn't come close to putting myself in her position. I considered whether I should call to see if she needed anything, but refrained. I'd only met her during the wedding situation, and hadn't spoken to her since. I figured if there was anything I could do, Ranger would tell me.

I channeled surfed for a while and found the latest episode of _Downton Abbey_ , at which I was saying "heartless bastards" when the front door opened again.

I was surprised to see Ranger walk back in with a black duffle bag at four forty-five. I had figured I wouldn't see him until later that evening, but he'd apparently been serious about just doing a few things and checking out for the night. He took off his boots and left them at the door. His gun belt found a home on the sideboard and he put his duffle bag at the foot of the stairs.

"Who are the heartless bastards?" he asked, coming to sit next to me on the couch.

I explained _Downton Abbey_ to him and what had just happened in the episode I was watching.

Ranger rolled his eyes and shook his head at me. "Babe, that's a lot of emotion to invest in a television show."

I ignored him and watched the last few minutes of the episode, wiping away tears at a couple of sad parts. Ranger said nothing, though I could tell he thought I was a lunatic for crying over fictional people. Once the episode was over, I turned the television off and sat up to look at Ranger, who had been leaning back against the couch with his eyes closed.

"What should we do for dinner?" I asked him, leaning back against the couch and resting my head near his. "I can try to cook or we can order in."

"It's your call, babe."

When he didn't comment further, I got up and went into the kitchen to see what I had available. I found a frozen chicken and noodle casserole in the freezer that my mother had sent over after I moved in. It still looked okay, so I put in the oven and looked around for something to serve with it. It had noodles, chicken and vegetables, so I thought bread and fruit would round out the food pyramid. Of course I only had white bread in the fridge and no fruit, so that plan meant I either needed to go to the market or do without. I debated for a moment before deciding I was going to need dessert if we were staying in after a particularly bad day. I told Ranger I was running to the market and asked if he needed anything specific. He didn't, so I went to the market and came back twenty minutes later with a loaf of French bread, some grapes, a bottle of wine and a cheesecake.

I checked on the casserole once I got back in the kitchen and put the groceries away. I could hear Ranger on his phone, so I set about getting out plates, utensils and napkins and setting the table to give him some privacy. He joined me in the kitchen a minute later.

"That was Amanda," he explained. "She was telling me that she thinks the funeral will likely be Saturday, but will know for certain tomorrow after she makes the arrangements. She's trying to find a different church to have it at, rather than the one where they got married. She also asked me to speak at the funeral."

"How's Amanda doing?" I asked as the timer went off on the casserole. I walked over to oven and pulled the dish out.

"As well as can be expected, I suppose. I think she's still in shock."

I put the casserole dish on the table, along with the bread, grapes and wine. "How are you doing?" I asked.

Ranger leaned against the doorframe, his arms crossed in front of him. "I don't cultivate friendships much, but Kinsey was a good friend and has been for a long time. It's hard to reconcile that he just got married, called me two days ago to tell me he was going to be a father, and now he's dead."

We sat down at the table and ate our meal in silence. I watched Ranger as we ate, trying to see if I could assess what was going on in his mind. Even though he was sad about his friend, his demeanor was neutral and calm. I've always been jealous of his ability to keep his emotions off of his face. I tend to have my thoughts and feelings written all over my face.

Once we finished, Ranger helped me clear the table and load the dishwasher, and all the while I wondered what Ranger and I would do all night. I hadn't often had time to relax much with Ranger. The majority of our extended periods of time together had been spent having sex or working, so having a casual no-work-allowed evening with Ranger would be different. I had no doubt we'd end up having sex at some point, but I knew it wouldn't be all evening. I hadn't really considered before what Ranger and I would do on our nights together. Morelli and I would sometimes to go movies, out to dinner, dancing, a couple of concerts and bowling. I somehow couldn't see Ranger doing most of those things, and definitely not today after losing a friend. I kept myself busy wiping down counters, scrubbing the sink, sweeping the floor and straightening the kitchen to allow myself more time to think. Ranger had been watching me, not saying anything as he leaned against the island.

When I ran out of things to do, I turned to face Ranger. "You seem a little nervous, babe." he commented.

"Nah, just trying to make sure the kitchen is clean."

He cocked his head to the side and gave me a look that said he knew I was full of shit.

"Fine, I was trying to figure out what we'd do this evening. You're so mysterious to me still. I don't know what kinds of things you like to do when you have time away from work, other than get in my pants."

Ranger gave a small sigh. "Babe, you know me in the important ways. The other stuff will come in time."

I raised an eyebrow. "You make it sound like I have a long time to get to know you."

"You planning to get rid of me anytime soon?"

"No, if anything I figure you'll get sick of having to save my ass or I'll drive you insane with my questions and you'll give me the boot," I told him, half-joking, half-serious.

Ranger stepped towards me, placing his hands on my hips. "Babe, I wouldn't have agreed to a relationship with you if I thought I'd end it over stupid shit like that."

"What would make you leave?" I asked him, curious to find out what his limits were.

Ranger looked at me for a full thirty seconds before answering. "If you asked me to leave."

"That's it? What about cheating? Pregnancy? Forcing you into a pink shirt?"

That got a smile out of Ranger. "You wouldn't cheat on me, I know that much. If you got pregnant, we'd manage it, and you'd have to kill me to get me into a pink shirt."

My jaw dropped at the pregnancy remark. I knew without a doubt that if I ever got pregnant by Ranger, he would step up to support his child, as he had done with Julie, but I figured he'd step away emotionally.

"Well," I said, feeling a lump in my throat. "That's good to know."


	8. Dirty Little Secret

I didn't see much of Ranger over the next two days. He had been quiet the remainder of the evening Wednesday and had gotten up and dressed by five on Thursday morning. When I'd finally gotten up three hours later, I'd found a set of keys on the counter along with a note from Ranger that said I had a car in the garage, and that it was mine to keep until it got destroyed. I hunted down my remaining FTAs from Wednesday and picked up the files from Thursday, which had been a couple of regular druggies who were typically too stoned to remember they had a court date.

Ranger called me on Friday to say that Kinsey's funeral would be on Saturday at ten in the morning at the Lutheran Church in Hamilton Township. I was surprised, considering Amanda and Kinsey had been married in a Catholic church. Ranger told me Kinsey wasn't Catholic, but he had agreed to get married in the Catholic church for Amanda. He ended the call by telling me he'd pick me up at nine on Saturday morning, which had clinched it that I wouldn't see him until right before the funeral. I knew Amanda had asked him to speak at the funeral, so I wondered if he was trying to figure out what to say. I had a hard time imagining Ranger giving a speech in front of a large group of people. I was always amazed when he spoke in more than one sentence at a time.

I got up at seven on Saturday to allow myself plenty of time to get dressed. I showered and put on a black dress that I saved specifically for funerals. My make-up required more care to ensure that I didn't end up looking like a clown caught in the rain. I tended to fall apart at funerals regardless of whether I was close to—or even really knew— the deceased. I was ready to go by a quarter to nine and decided to have a glass of wine before Ranger arrived to help mellow me out, which I hoped would keep me from completely falling apart during the funeral. I was considering a second glass when Ranger walked in the back door. He was wearing a black suit with a black dress shirt and black tie. He looked a little tired, but otherwise normal.

"I'm ready to go," I told him, picking up my little black handbag and putting my wine glass in the sink. He took my hand and we walked out the back to the Turbo, which was parked behind my garage. We drove in silence to the church, which allowed me to wonder what Ranger would say in his eulogy of Kinsey. I hadn't known Kinsey well, but I had liked what I had known of him. My mind wandered over to Amanda and whether she would continue to be the adorable person she was after such loss.

We arrived at the church by nine-thirty to find the lot nearly full. Ranger parked and turned off the car, but didn't move to get out. He continued to rest his hands on the wheel and stared straight ahead for a moment. I unbuckled my seatbelt, but didn't make any move towards the door. I looked over at Ranger, placing my hand on his thigh.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

Ranger nodded, putting one of his hands on top of mine and squeezing it before pulling it up to his mouth to kiss it. He looked over at me and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.

"Yeah, I'm just thinking about what I'll say. I'm not used to giving long speeches."

"No kidding. You've managed to condense a lot of meaning into just _Babe_ , so I always find it odd to hear you say much more."

Ranger leaned over and pressed a quick kiss on my lips. "Babe," he said, making me chuckle. That _babe_ seemed to be mixture of _I'm glad you understand me_ and _smartass_.

As we walked up to the church, Ranger put his hand on my back. I had noticed over the years that Ranger would find reasons to touch me, even if he didn't say anything or intend any sexual implications. He often times tucked my hair behind my ear, caressed my cheek, put a hand on my back, or simply held my hand. I wasn't sure if Ranger did it to bring himself some comfort in his isolated world or if he tried to put meaning into the touch that he couldn't bring himself to say out loud.

There had been an hour before the funeral for people to pay their respects to the family, so people were lined up in the front of the church. Ranger and I joined the line, which moved fairly quickly. Amanda looked pale and exhausted, far removed from the bubbly blonde I'd met a few months before. I wasn't sure how far along she was in her pregnancy, so I wasn't sure if her exhaustion was purely from the stress of losing her husband or combined with morning sickness.

When we reached Amanda, she hugged Ranger and thanked him for all of his help. I wasn't sure what all he had done for the funeral, but I had no doubt he would have done anything needed in a final farewell to his friend. Ranger greeted Kinsey's parents and Amanda turned to me. She reached out to hug me as well, which I found surprising considering I barely knew her.

"Thank you for coming, Stephanie," she told me, her voice strained.

"Not at all," I replied. "How are you holding up? I can't imagine how difficult this has been on you."

Amanda shook her head. "It's been surreal. I still can't believe it happened. We've barely been married four months, I'm three months pregnant and now I'm a widow. I went for my first check-up yesterday with the obstetrician, and when the doctor walked in she asked if I was excited for my first baby. I burst into tears and had to tell her about Robert. Is it wrong that I'm not excited about this baby right now?"

I nearly lost it as Amanda spoke. I felt sick, and had an overwhelming urge to take Amanda home and take care of her. She looked lost and alone, so I gave her a hug.

"No, it's not wrong. You're going through something horrible right now. You need to do whatever you need to do to get through the day. You'll start to feel better later on,'' I told her, not sure if I believed what I was saying, but hoped it gave her some comfort.

I moved on and greeted Mr. and Mrs. Kinsey, who looked as equally devastated as Amanda. Ranger led me away to a pew three rows from the front on the left side of the church. He led us to the end of the row near the wall.

"I need to be able to get out easily during the service," he stated as I went in the pew first and sat down leaving him enough room on the end.

We had been seated about ten minutes when Ranger was approached by two men in formal Army uniforms. Ranger stood to greet them, addressing a man about his height with blonde hair and green eyes as Hutchins and a Latino man as Garcia. They spoke for a minute about their disbelief at Kinsey's sudden death and how they hadn't been able to make it out to the wedding because of a training routine. Ranger moved a little and turned around, putting a hand on my shoulder.

"This is my girlfriend, Stephanie Plum. This is Kevin Hutchins, and Julio Garcia. They served in the same unit with Kinsey and me in the Middle East," he stated.

I stood and greeted both men, receiving polite nods and firm handshakes in return. They ended up sitting in the same pew as us, Garcia to my immediate right and Hutchins on his other side. Garcia informed me that he and Hutchins had pursued a long-term career in the military after the unit they had been in was disbanded once Ranger and Kinsey set out to come back to civilian life. Garcia and Hutchins had remained Special Forces; they currently served in the same unit together and were also roommates. Something about the way Garcia talked about Hutchins made me wonder if there was more between them than just a friendship, but I didn't ask and he didn't tell.

The music started playing in the church as Amanda and Kinsey's parents greeted the last of the people in line and took their seats in the front row next to Amanda's parents. I already started to feel tears well up in my eyes, so I pulled tissues out of my purse to keep in hand. Ranger put a hand on my knee and squeezed, no doubt recalling how I once fell apart at the funeral of a woman I didn't even like. A minister introduced himself and acknowledged that he had known Robert Kinsey growing up, and that Mr. and Mrs. Kinsey still attended the same church. There were a couple of songs played and the obituary was read, citing Kinsey was survived by his wife, Amanda and their unborn child, his parents and a sister. A small sob escaped me at the mention of an unborn child. Ranger moved his arm to around my shoulders and pulled me closer to him, kissing my temple. I was trying really hard not to completely fall apart, but I suspected I would fail once Ranger started speaking.

Kinsey's sister spoke first, her voice breaking in how much she admired her older brother for the time he spent serving his country, the success he had achieved in business and for finding such an amazing wife in Amanda. I kept a hand over my mouth to help prevent myself from bursting into full-blown sobs.

"Just take some deep breaths," Ranger whispered into my ear. "Count to five in and count to five out."

I did as he instructed and found I was able to keep it together a little better, as I had to focus on my breathing instead of the funeral. The next speaker had been a friend of Kinsey's from childhood, who spoke about the times in their teenage years when Kinsey had kept him on the straight and narrow, thus helping him avoid time in juvie and potentially prison as an adult.

The minister then announced that one of Robert's friends and former Army comrades, Carlos Manoso, would be the next speaker. Ranger stood, patting me on the back. He walked up to altar and stood behind the podium, adjusting the microphone from where the shorter people had positioned it.

"When Robert and I were serving together in the Army, we lived our lives in the moment. When you're in dangerous situations for four years, you never know what to expect and you don't plan for the next day with the anticipation that you will be around to see it. We both had some trouble readjusting to being civilians in the sense of trying to establish any permanence in our lives. When Robert asked me to be best man at his wedding earlier this year, I realized he had finally been able to move past the habits of not committing to anything or anyone out of fear that you wouldn't be there the next day. When he spoke of Amanda, he described her as the light in his life that he'd been trying to find for the past eight years. When I learned of his death, I was stunned by the fact that of all we had been through together, a brain tumor would be what brought his life to an end so suddenly, and at what should be one of the happiest times in his and Amanda's lives. Robert Kinsey was a man of loyalty, strength and bravery. I trusted him not only with my own life, but with the lives of those I love. We had made an agreement years ago after the birth of my daughter that if anything ever happened to one of us, we would be sure to look out for the other's family. That agreement had carried over after our time in the Army, and when Robert called me two days before his death to tell me he and Amanda were expecting a baby, we reaffirmed it, though not expecting that it would ever been needed. I'm grateful to have been able to count Robert Kinsey as a friend in this life. I hope he has found peace in the next life with the knowledge that he made a difference in the lives of those who knew him, and that Amanda can find comfort in knowing that part of Robert will live in on in their child. Robert's life and death should remind us all that we need to embrace what's important in life at this moment, not letting it pass us by just because we're afraid of what the future might hold."

I had managed to keep myself together during Ranger's speech by simply forgetting to breathe. I was amazed at his composure. I hadn't been able to take my eyes off of him as he spoke, and noticed that he looked at me when he talked about trusting Kinsey with the lives of those he loved. He walked back to his seat next to me as the minister took the pulpit to begin his sermon. Ranger sat next to me, and I squeezed his hand reassuringly. He never met my gaze, but looked forward at the pulpit. I noticed he was doing his own deep breathing exercises and that there was an unusual brightness to his eyes.

He continued to hold my hand throughout the last twenty minutes of the service and as we made our way out to the car. A small flag had been placed on the hood, indicating that we were part of the caravan that would drive to the cemetery. We rode to the cemetery in silence, and Ranger and I stood at the back of the group at the graveside, likely because Ranger didn't want my blubbering to cause a scene. He had an arm around me and I rested my head on his shoulder, getting his suit wet with my tears, but managing to keep the sobs quiet. A twenty-one gun salute rang through the air before we all departed, leaving the family to say their final goodbyes in peace.

As we walked between the graves, Ranger laced his fingers in with mine.

"I love you, Stephanie. I should tell you that more often."

His words had startled me, since he hadn't spoken directly to me for nearly an hour. I looked up at him, but he was focused on the path ahead of us, his expression serious as we reached the car. Once we were both in the car, I put my hand on his cheek.

"I know you do. Even if you don't say it, you've showed it to me in ways I never imagined possible through your touch and the lengths you've gone to keep me safe over the years, especially with Abruzzi's death."

Ranger looked at me, giving nothing away. "Abruzzi committed suicide."

"Abruzzi committed suicide when he kidnapped me."

"How long have you known?"

"Since it happened," I told Ranger. "When Morelli got the call that Abruzzi had been found in his car, we both knew what really happened, though we didn't actually say it."

Ranger turned his attention to the road as he started to drive, following other cars out of the cemetery. We didn't talk anymore as he drove through Trenton to my house. Kids were out of school and playing in parks, hanging out at the pool and walking to their friends' houses. It always seemed odd to see people going about their normal routines and enjoying their lives whenever someone had died.

When we arrived at my house, Ranger grabbed my hand and pulled me inside. He didn't stop at the door, but continued to pull me upstairs to the bedroom. Once inside, he pulled me against him and kissed me. The kiss was aggressive and full of emotion, and Ranger had started unzipping my dress as soon as our lips met. He pulled me out of it, leaving the dress in a pool at my feet. He unhooked my bra and threw it aside. I started working on his tie, loosening the knot and pulled it from his neck before pushing his jacket off his shoulders. Ranger seemed impatient as he pulled his off shirt, kicked off his shoes and removed the gun from the small of his back. I was left standing in my panties and high heels while he finished stripping down. Once he was naked, he pushed me onto my bed and kissed me again with the same force and fierceness as a minute before. He moved down my body with his mouth, removing my panties and heels before sliding inside me.

I'd had sex with Ranger many times, but this time was in a class of its own. I could sense his overwhelming emotions as he kissed me and moved inside me, trying to find that particular spot that would bring me to an orgasm with him. He was rough—not painfully so—but atypical for Ranger. He tended to fall more into the _making love_ category. I was so distracted by trying to figure out Ranger's intense emotions that I knew I wouldn't be getting any satisfaction out of this round. I gave it another minute or so before clenching my muscles around him, groaning and closing my eyes. I heard Ranger moan as well, and he laid his head on my bare shoulder, his breathing ragged. I ran my fingers through Ranger's hair, gently scratching his head with my nails. He didn't move, but laid there trying to get his breathing back to normal while I pretended I didn't feel the wetness on my shoulder where he rested his eyes.

After a couple of minutes, Ranger rolled over and pulled me with him. He nestled my head under his chin and wrapped his arms around me. We laid there for about fifteen minutes before Ranger moved to get out of bed. He sat on the edge of the bed with his back to me, but didn't get up right away. I admired his muscular back while wondering what he planned to do next. I started to reach out to him, but before I got to him, he stood up and started getting dressed. He replaced his gun in the small of his back and pulled on his jacket last. He hadn't looked at me the entire time he was getting dressed, and it had made me feel a bit like a one-night stand, similar to the first night we'd slept together. Ranger was typically a paragon of calm and rational emotions, but at that moment he felt like a big mess, though to an outsider he would still look relatively calm and collected.

"Where are you going?"

"To work," Ranger replied, and turned to leave. I jumped up out of bed, not caring that I was naked.

"Whoa, hold on," I said, running towards him and almost knocking him down the stairs when he stopped abruptly.

"What's going on? I know you're upset because of Kinsey, but I feel like there's more than that. You just got up and dressed without saying goodbye like I was some one-night stand."

Ranger turned around and kissed me briefly.

"Bye, babe," he said, leaving without an explanation.

"This isn't over!" I yelled at him as he disappeared downstairs. I heard the back door open and shut a few seconds later.

I paced for a few minutes before going back to my room to get dressed in a summer dress and flats. I pulled my hair back in a ponytail, since I had very obvious sex hair, and switched out my purse again. I wanted to get out of the house and burn off some of my energy. Ranger's emotions were foreign to me, and I was finding it was hard to handle them. Morelli had been more transparent about his emotions: when he had been angry, he gestured a lot and swore, when he was hurt he played basketball with his cousins, and when he was happy, he wanted wild-gorilla sex. Ranger was much more complex and difficult to understand. Most men didn't like to talk about their feelings, but he was beyond even that.

I went downstairs and headed towards the car, but had no idea where I would go. The bond's office was closed by now and I didn't really want to visit my parents, so I decided to head to Point Pleasant. I could walk along the boardwalk, eat junk food and enjoy the sea air, which was a pretty perfect way to spend the afternoon of an emotionally-charged day.

It was eight in the evening by the time I got home. I had stopped at the grocery store on the way back from Point Pleasant and was putting my groceries away when my phone buzzed with a text message. It was from Morelli, asking if I had happened to come across his favorite t-shirt and an extra set of his keys. I responded that I had a box of his stuff, and that both of those things were in the box. I told him he could stop by my house to get the box whenever he was in town next and gave him my address. I realized as I finished putting my food away that I missed Morelli. Not in a romantic sense, but as a friend. I hadn't considered when we were together that we were friends on top of being lovers, but I had the feeling we could never get that friendship truly back, considering our history. I also thought Ranger wouldn't be a fan of Morelli hanging out at my house, drinking a beer and watching a football game, especially since Morelli's favorite half-time activity was a quickie.

I stayed up until ten that night, watching television and waiting to see if Ranger would be back over. I eventually trudged upstairs alone, thinking that I would light a candle for each Amanda and Ranger tomorrow at Mass. I remembered Ranger telling me at Kinsey and Amanda's wedding rehearsal that he didn't get to go to church as often as he would like to, which had surprised me. He never seemed like the type of person who would follow a doctrine, but I began to wonder if a spiritual side was the only thing that had kept him sane during dark times.

I woke up a seven the next morning to the sound of my alarm. I went to roll over to hit the alarm, but found Ranger in bed with me and he already had his hand on the alarm, hitting the off button.

"Hey, when did you get here?" I asked him, rolling over to face him.

"A little after midnight."

I quickly assessed his mood and found it to be more normal. Well, normal for Ranger.

"Do you want to talk about yesterday?" I asked, trying to make it clear that we would talk about it, but that I didn't demand it be first thing in the morning.

"I don't want to talk about it, but I feel I owe you an explanation," he replied. "Kinsey's funeral got to me more than I had thought it would, but what else bothered me was your comment yesterday in the car about Abruzzi. We've never really talked about his death, and when you were talking to me about it and saying that you knew I did it because I loved you, it bothered me. I try to keep you away from the darker parts of my past, and to have them meet like that was disconcerting. It makes me wonder how you could be with me, knowing some of what I've done."

I had expected the part about Kinsey's funeral, but not with regards to my comments about Abruzzi. I hadn't considered that being reminded of killing someone would upset him, but now that I looked back, I felt like an idiot.

"I didn't mean to upset you," I told him. "I just wanted you to know that I know you love me, even when you don't say it. And I know you have a lot of stuff in your past that weighs on you, but you did what you needed to do to keep me safe. I know without a doubt that Abruzzi would have killed me, or had me killed, eventually. You saved me, and that's all that matters."


	9. Justify My Love

My discussion with Ranger about the Abruzzi situation seemed to have broken down one of the emotional barriers that stood between us. I knew he would never tell me all of the things he had done in his life, and I didn't want him to, but we had made some progress.

Ranger had told me that Wednesdays would be the best the night for our date night, as that tended to be the slow day at Rangeman. The previous Wednesday had been awful with the news of Kinsey's death, so I decided I wanted our first official Wednesday night date night to be very different.

I was in the kitchen feeding Rex some hamster nuggets when Ranger walked in the back door carrying his black duffle bag and a black garment bag, which I assumed was carrying one of his suits. I'd told him to bring some stuff over to leave at my house, since he seemed to be spending about three nights a week at my place and it seemed silly that he had to go back to Rangeman to get ready. I gave him a quick kiss as he walked through the kitchen, and I heard him go upstairs to put his stuff away. When he came down to the living room five minutes later, I had my proposal all ready.

"I was thinking we should go out tonight," I told Ranger as he sat down on the couch next to me. "I'm thinking dinner and a movie."

Ranger raised an eyebrow. "A movie? At home or at the theatre?"

"The theatre. Have you ever been to a movie theatre before?" I asked, smiling a little. It was so hard to imagine Ranger doing normal things unless I had witnessed them for myself.

Ranger rolled his eyes. "Of course I have."

"When was the last time?"

Ranger thought for a beat. "I think I went on a date in college and we went to the movies."

"What did you see?"

"I can't remember. I just remember sitting there planning how I was going to get her pants."

I smack him on the arm. "You're a pig. Anyway, the movie I want to see is about that hostage situation at the US Embassy in Iran and how the US government got some of the people out of the country. You should like that. I'm sure you've probably done stuff like before."

"I've done several ex-fils," Ranger replied.

"What's an ex-fil?" I asked, thinking it sounded like a dumping grounded for the bodies of cheating spouses.

"Exfiltrate. It's the opposite of an infiltrate—instead of trying to get in somewhere, you're trying to get out."

Duh.

"Oh, okay. So what do you think? Can we go? And this time, you won't have to be distracted by trying to figure out how you'll get into your date's pants later, since it's a guarantee you will."

Ranger considered me for a moment. "Okay, since you've made the offer so appealing."

We made it back home by nine that evening after pizza at _Pino's_ and the movie at the Multiplex. Ranger had seemed to enjoy our date, as much as I could tell given his usual lack of emotional expression. He had watched the movie intently, though every now and then his hand would make its way up my thigh, causing me to suck in some air, which got a smile out of him.

We had just walked in the door when I heard his phone buzzing. I gave him the _don't-even-think-of-answering-that-phone_ look as he checked the display.

"It's most likely Julie," he said as he answered the call.

I nodded that I understood and headed upstairs to get into my pajamas. He hadn't spoken to Julie as far as I was aware since we'd been a couple and I wondered if he would break the news to her. I went back downstairs a few minutes later to find Ranger still on the phone. I peeked around the corner of the stairwell at him, watching his expression while he listened to Julie and occasionally gave a one or two-word response. He stared straight ahead and had a small, but affectionately amused smile on his face. It made me wonder if Ranger was enjoying his closer bond with Julie these days. He had told me before that he'd kept himself emotionally distanced, but I never knew if it was more of his own choice, or at Rachel's insistence.

"No, I'm not working right now. I'm at Stephanie's house," he told her. "I took your advice."

Ranger answered in the affirmative to whatever Julie asked, and subsequently held the phone a little away from his ear, chuckling. I took it Julie approved of our relationship.

I decided to stop spying at that point and walked out from around the staircase and went to the kitchen for a drink. A minute later, Ranger walked in the kitchen, still on the phone.

"Julie wants to say hi," he told me handing me his phone.

I took it and said "Hi, Julie."

"Hi, Stephanie," she replied brightly. "I'm so glad you're Ranger's girlfriend now. I've been telling him for forever that he needed to make you his girlfriend, but he always gave some excuse about you dating that cop. I'm glad you ended it with him and went with my dad. You need to come with him next time he's in Miami for a visit."

I had taken notice of Julie's reference to Ranger as her 'dad'. When we'd been kidnapped, she'd referred to him as her father, but to her step-father as her dad. I could tell Julie's emotional investment in the relationship had deepened.

"Maybe," I told her, not wanting to make any sort of promise without talking to Ranger. I wasn't sure if he would be comfortable taking me along for a visit, or if Rachel and Ron would want me to come. I'd never actually met them when they came up to get Julie after the kidnapping.

"Don't worry, my mom and dad would love to meet you," she told me. Geez, Ranger's mind-reading skills must be genetic.

"That's great to know," I told her, still not wanting to commit in case Ranger wasn't as gung-ho about me meeting the Martines as they might be. "How are you doing? I haven't seen you since, well…"

"We were kidnapped in your apartment," Julie finished, not sounding upset. "I've been good. My mom and dad don't let me walk home from school anymore, and it was forever before I was allowed to spend a night away from them, but things are more normal now."

"I'm glad to hear that," I told her as I heard my own phone start buzzing away on the counter. "I'll give you back to Ranger, my phone is ringing. It was great talking to you."

"You too. Bye, Stephanie," she said brightly. I handed Ranger his phone and picked up mine. The display told me it was Connie.

"Stephanie, I've had ten phone calls this evening from people saying they saw you and Ranger on a date at _Pino's_ and then at the Multiplex. I wasn't sure if you've told your family yet, so I wanted to give you a head's up."

"Thanks. I told them last week, but it's nice to know the Burg gossip hotline is in working order. Yeah, we went out tonight."

Connie chuckled. "I can't believe he goes to the movies. That's so…normal."

"It was his first trip to one in over a decade that didn't involve leading someone out in handcuffs," I told Connie.

"You mean he didn't handcuff you?" Connie asked.

"Not yet."

Connie chuckled and disconnected. I turned to find Ranger was off the phone and watching me. I shrugged. "The gossip line had us at the movies tonight and Connie wondered if it was true."

Ranger shook his head. "It's a hazard of having Burg connections."

"I'm glad I got to talk to Julie for a minute. She sounds like she's doing well."

Ranger nodded. "She's made an excellent psychological recovery from the kidnapping. Everyone was amazed at how strong she's been about the whole situation."

I wrapped my arms around Ranger and rested my head on his chest. "She gets that from you, along with other traits. I remember once I kicked Scrog in the head, and after I regained consciousness from being stun gunned she looked over at me said "Good one!", and when he brought us food the next morning that he taken from the convenience store he robbed, she chose raisins and peanuts over candy bars and donuts. And then, of course, she tackled Scrog and shot him. When you were being taken out of my apartment and down to the ambulance, she was holding onto the gurney and when someone tried to stop her, she smacked their hand and said 'He's my father, and I'm going with him'. I probably shouldn't say this about a little girl, but she's real badass."

Ranger chuckled. "Tank told me a similar story, only he had tried to stop her from getting in the ambulance and had wanted her to ride in the SUV with him. She told him she'd already shot one man that night, and she'd do it again if he tried to stop her. He was impressed, even if it was an empty threat."

I burst into laughter, picturing the exchange perfectly in my mind. "Wow, like I said. A real badass, just like her father."

The following Saturday ended up being the first dinner Ranger and I had with my family since we became a couple. I had given my mother the 'no marriage or babies' talk again Saturday afternoon while Ranger was working a patrol. She'd begrudgingly agreed, though adding that she didn't understand why it was such a no-go area if we were in love.

I arrived my parents' house at five minutes to six and went inside. Ranger had said he would have to be a few minutes late, as the patrol shift he was working wasn't over until six.

"Where's Carlos?" my mother asked when she saw me alone.

"He'll be a few minutes late. He had to pick up a shift for someone who called off and it doesn't end until six."

The table was laid out with baked chicken, roasted potatoes, green beans, red wine and bread. Not too far outside of Ranger's normal caloric intake. I knew he wouldn't eat the chocolate cake my mom had made for dessert, so I had already prepared myself to eat his portion.

Ranger arrived about five minutes after six, in which time we had just started serving ourselves.

"Hello, Carlos," my mother said warmly. "I'm glad you could make it."

Ranger nodded. "I'm sorry to be late, but I had to cover for someone."

"Of course, you're the boss. If you want your business to be successful, sometimes you have to do that," she said, which earned her a raised eyebrow from me. Was she sucking up now in order to try to slip in a marriage question later?

Ranger said nothing as he started serving himself. Once he had his food on his plate, he squeezed my knee before he started eating. I took the gesture as meaning _I'll try not to shoot your mother this evening, but I can't promise anything_.

Throughout dinner, my mother asked questions about Ranger's background in the Army and his family, which I had already told her, but she wanted to hear it directly from the man himself. When Ranger mentioned his daughter in Miami, my mother's eyes lit up like she'd won a prize. I could she saw this as an opening to a question about children, but before I could change the subject she had already asked her question.

"Do you want more children, Carlos?"

I let out a heavy sigh, which my mother ignored.

"I haven't considered it much in the past few years while I've been building my business," he responded, finishing the wine in his glass. Poor Ranger. I imagined by this point he was thinking more fondly of the three days he spent being tortured by Colombian rebels than he was of this dinner.

"Of course, but now that you've become so successful, maybe a family isn't too far in the future?"

I rolled my eyes, not caring who saw at that point. "Mom, please stop. We've only been together two weeks. Let's not scare him away."

"Yeah, Helen. They need several years of hot sex before they start thinking about kids," Grandma piped up, making me cough while I was taking a bite of potatoes and making my father drop his fork mid-air. Ranger patted me on the back and I took a sip of wine to help swallow. My father looked incredibly uncomfortable with the topic of conversation, but managed to pick his fork up again and resumed his meal.

Ranger and I made it out of dinner an hour later, during which time I had eaten both of our portions of cake. Grandma had made a grab for Ranger's ass as we headed out the door, but I'd been purposely standing between them so it was my ass that got grabbed instead.

"Hm, not as firm as I remember," she commented, not realizing her mistake.

"That's my butt," I told her.

"Oh, sorry," Grandma said, but not releasing her grip. "But you know, if you want Carlos to stay interested, you might need to tighten that thing up a little."

I pulled myself out of Grandma's grip. "We'll talk to you later," I said, pushing Ranger out the door.

As we walked to our respective vehicles in the driveway, Ranger put an arm around my waist and pulled me close. "I love your ass the way it is," he told me, giving me a kiss above my ear.

"That's good because I don't intend to start exercising just to keep it tight."

Ranger chuckled. "I need to go back to the office and do some paperwork, but I'll be over later."

As I was driving home, my phone buzzed with a text from Morelli, who said he was in town tonight and could he stop for his stuff. I sent him a quick message back while I waited on a stoplight, telling him I'd be home for the evening, so he could stop by whenever he wanted.

A couple of hours later, I was in my living room watching _Cake Boss_ when the doorbell rang. I walked over to the door and looked through the small glass cut out. It was Morelli.

I opened the door and Bob leaped up on me, knocking me on my butt. "Bob!" I cried out, laughing as he licked me.

Bob lost interest after a few seconds and ran further into the house, sniffing the ground. Morelli helped me up and shut the door behind him as he stepped inside.

"Happy housewarming, Steph," he said, handing me a square bakery box. I peeked inside to see a birthday cake with blue and yellow roses, the words _Happy Birthday, Tina_ written in blue icing.

"Thanks! One of the best yet," I told him, walking into the living room. I set the box down on the coffee table and opened it up, picking off the roses with my fingers and eating them. There wasn't much better than frosting off a birthday cake. I looked around to see that Morelli was in the kitchen, ushering Bob out, who had been trying to get into the trash. He handed me a fork before he sat down in the chair next to me. He'd also grabbed himself a beer.

"Make yourself at home," I told him jokingly as I started in on my cake.

Morelli snorted, opening his beer and taking a swig. "How's life?"

I nodded. "It's great. I love my house, work is going great and I'm even thinking of learning how to cook. I'm growing up."

Morelli smiled. "I never thought I'd see the day you started morphing into a domestic goddess."

I shook my fork at him. "I'm nowhere near goddess level at this point. I'm not even qualified to use my name and _domestic_ in the same paragraph yet."

Bob jumped up on the couch and curled up in a ball next to me. I used my free hand to pet him as I continued to eat the cake right out of the box. I was beginning to think I had a problem with cake and wondered if there were Cake Eaters Anonymous meetings I could go to.

"Are you liking Camden and your new job?" I asked, trying to avoid any awkward silence. I wasn't sure if Morelli had heard about my relationship with Ranger yet via his mother and the Burg gossip hotline, so I thought I'd talk around it for as long as possible.

Morelli took a long drag of beer. "Yeah, it's not bad. I'm doing a lot of work with informants and managing the undercover officers, then doing the big busts and what-not. It's not much different from what I was doing here, only it's focused solely on the gangs. Camden's a little smaller than Trenton, but I'm working a lot more. Crime is through the roof."

"Are you seeing anyone?" he asked after a moment's pause.

I gave him a _don't-play-dumb-I-know-you-know_ look as I took a big bite of birthday cake. Morelli nodded.

"So the rumors are true. I believe I told you so."

I swallowed my birthday cake. "Yes, you were right."

"I'm glad you're happy," Morelli said seriously.

"Have you started seeing anyone?"

Morelli shook his head. "I've not been there long enough to meet anyone, not to mention I've been so swamped with work that I haven't seen many people outside of gang members and cops."

"The women will find you," I told him. "After all, you're Joe Morelli."

Morelli raised his beer in a mock toast when I heard the front door open and shut. Ranger appeared in the foyer a moment later. Bob jumped off the couch and went flying at Ranger, who absorbed the impact and scratched Bob behind the ears.

"Morelli," he said, as Bob returned to the floor and came back to the couch.

"Ranger."

They stared at each other for a minute, neither moving a muscle. I kept eating my birthday cake, hoping a shoot out wasn't going to break out in my new living room.

"Morelli brought me a housewarming birthday cake," I told him, pointing at the box where I'd gone through a quarter of the cake already. Ranger took off his gun belt and put it on the sideboard where I put my keys and mail. I knew he still had a second piece and a knife under his clothes, so he wasn't completely unarmed.

He peeked inside the box and shook his head. "You just had two pieces of cake at your mother's, and now you're eating this straight out of the box? I guess I should be thankful you had enough restraint to stop for a fork."

Morelli snorted. "Actually, I got her the fork. She was using her fingers in the beginning."

Ranger chuckled as he walked into the kitchen to get his own beer. He returned to living room, pulling the top off the bottle and sat down on the other side of Bob on the couch.

"How's Camden?" Ranger asked Morelli, scratching Bob behind the ears. Bob laid his head in Ranger's lap and closed his eyes. Dogs loved Ranger.

"Not bad, considering what a hell-hole it is in terms of crime. But it could be worse, like Newark."

Ranger raised an eyebrow. "Don't hate on Newark. That's my hometown."

I rolled my eyes at Ranger. "Newark is a complete hell-hole. How can you say it isn't?"

"It's not a complete hell-hole; it's only ninety-eight percent hell-hole."

"Oh, that's all?"

I took another bite of cake and realized I had eaten nearly half the cake.

"Oh boy," I said, feeling a little gluttonous. "I think I overdid it."

Ranger pried the fork out of my hand put the lid back on the cake box. "No, don't throw it away!" I cried, trying to take the box back.

Ranger held my gaze for a minute. "I'm putting it in the kitchen, babe. You're done for now. I don't need you puking all over me later."

I blushed slightly at Ranger's reference to our night's activities together in front of Morelli, but brushed crumbs off my shirt to avoid looking up. Morelli stood up and grabbed Bob's leash.

"We need to get going. We're driving back to Camden tonight. Do you have that box you mentioned?" he asked, not quite meeting my gaze.

"Yeah, I'll get it," I said, turning to head towards the stairs. The movement made my stomach twist in knots. I moaned out loud and held my stomach.

Ranger shook his head in disgust. "I know where it is. I'll get it." He disappeared upstairs and came down a minute later with the box of Morelli's stuff that had been in the spare room. Morelli took the box in the arm that wasn't holding on to Bob's leash.

"Thanks," he told Ranger, shifting the box under his arm. "I'll see you around sometime. Give me a call if you're ever in Camden."

I waved to Morelli and Bob from the door and returned to the living room, where Ranger was standing, watching me as I locked the door and set the alarm.

"What?" I asked, putting my hands on my hips.

"Nothing. I was just watching you to see if you were going to be sick. You ate half a birthday cake by yourself. You need help."

"Sorry, I thought you might be angry about Morelli showing up."

Ranger tilted his head slightly. "Babe, I trust you. Morelli not so much, but he knows if he ever tried anything, no one would find his body."

No doubts there.

I picked up Morelli's empty beer bottle and took it in the kitchen to throw away. I went to put my fork in the dishwasher when I realized there was still frosting on it. I ate the frosting, which made me decide that I wanted just one more bite of cake before I went to bed. Ranger walked into the kitchen just as I put a bite my mouth. I gave him sheepish look as I slowly pulled the fork out of my mouth, and chewed the cake.

"Babe."

I groaned. "I know. I'm a cake- addict. Are you sure you don't want any? The sooner it's gone, the sooner I can start the road to recovery."

Ranger gave small smile as I offered him my fork. "There's only one way I'm interested in eating that cake and it doesn't involve using a fork."

He ran a finger through the frosting then spread the frosting along my neck.

Oh boy, I liked where this was going.

Ranger bent his head and licked the frosting off my neck, making me moan and nearly collapse.

He grabbed the cake box in one hand, my hand in the other, and took us both upstairs.

Ranger had me out of my clothes in record time. He pulled the comforter off the bed and laid me down on top of the flat sheet. He undressed himself and climbed onto the bed and put the cake box on the bedside table. He ran his index and middle fingers through the frosting and then spread it on my throat and chest to my breasts, putting a little dollop on each nipple. Then, with the agonizingly slow pace he used when he really wanted to torment me, he licked and sucked and kissed the frosting from my body. I was writhing with pleasure and frustration by the time he finished.

"Not done yet, babe," he said, gathering more frosting. This time, he spread it along the insides of my thighs and then to— well somewhere I certainly never imagined cake frosting going. I nearly fainted from the touch alone. He slowly licked each thigh, biting me gently enough to make me moan. When he finally reach the spot I'd been aching for him to get to, it took almost no time for me to have a mind-blowing orgasm. It was probably the hottest sex I'd ever had with Ranger, which was saying something.

My two favorite things had just been combined into one experience: Ranger-sex and birthday cake.

I was surprised to still find Ranger asleep when I woke up at seven the next morning. He was usually up at five to work out and eat breakfast before starting his day. I guess a night of sex and birthday cake warrants sleeping in. I put my sweats back on and took the cake downstairs. I started the coffee and looked in the cake box. Most of the frosting had been cleaned off, so I left it in the kitchen and took my coffee to the living room to watching the _Today Show._ I'd only had about four sips of coffee when the doorbell rang. I looked out the window and saw Lula standing on my front step. It was working out to be a weird day. Lula was up early and Ranger was sleeping in. The _Today Show_ hadn't said anything about Hell freezing over.

"Hey girl," Lula said as I let her in. "There's big sale going on at that outlet mall in Newark. They have purses, shoes, and dresses up to seventy-five percent off. Wanna go?"

Newark, Hell, same difference.

"I need to take a shower first. I can be ready to go in a half hour," I told her, opening the door so she could come inside.

"You smell like a cake," Lula said as she walked past me. Ranger was coming downstairs fully dressed as Lula and I headed towards the living room. He must have heard the comment because I saw him smile briefly.

"Lula and I are going shopping at the outlet mall in Newark," I told him.

Ranger went to the kitchen and grabbed a to-go mug for coffee. "Have fun."

Lula followed us into the kitchen. "I thought you got up at the crack of dawn to hunt down bad guys?" she asked Ranger as he poured his coffee. She opened the cake box and looked inside. "Where's all the icing on your cake? You've only eaten half the cake, but all of the icing is gone."

"Ranger ate it," I told her. "That's probably why he slept late today. His _temple_ couldn't tolerate the refined sugar."

Lula had been looking between me and Ranger, a slow smile spreading across her face. "I bet he ate that icing real good, too. I've always suspected he was a good icing eater. That must be why you smell like a cake and have that ridiculous smile on your face this morning."

Ranger smirked and headed out of the kitchen, stopping to kiss me. "One of my men is supposed to be getting engaged this evening and I have a feeling he'll be calling off his shift to celebrate, so I'll likely be covering for him."

"Maybe you should send him a congratulations cake," Lula sniggered as we followed Ranger out of the kitchen. "Where did you get this one? Tasty Pastry?"

Ranger stopped to put on his utility belt and grab his keys, and I headed towards the door to show him out.

"I don't know," I told her. "Morelli dropped it off to me yesterday as a housewarming present."

Lula burst into laughter. "Oh shit, that's about the funniest thing I've heard all week. Have you told him how you enjoyed your cake?"

Ranger grinned. "Maybe I should give him a call and thank him."

I punched Ranger in the arm. "Do _not_ call Morelli. That would be awful."

I showed Ranger out and ran upstairs to shower and dress. I looked in the mirror in the bathroom and realized I did look ridiculously happy. Geez, birthday cake sex with Ranger worked better than caffeine or any happy pill ever could. I was back downstairs and we were on the road to Newark thirty minutes later with Lula's rap music blaring out of the speakers. The outlet mall was in chaos by the time we got there an hour later. Women were fighting with each other over the last Donna Karan dress, pulling on it until it split down the seam.

Lula patted her purse. "I'm glad I've got my gun on me. I don't want to have to fight some crazy lady over a dress. She'll just hand it right over to me."

I rolled my eyes. "If you get arrested, I'll deny knowing you."

We hit the Coach outlet first, pushing our way through the crowd to see if anything had been left behind. I was checking out a new wallet when my cell phone rang. It was Ranger.

"Do you have plans for next weekend?" Ranger asked when I answered.

"Nope. Why?"

"My sister Celia just called me to say she's having a party for my parents' fortieth wedding anniversary and that my attendance is mandatory. She wants me to come up Friday night for a family dinner and to spend the night in Newark so I can be there for the party on Saturday. Would you come with me?"

I nearly fell over. "You want me to meet your family?"

"You're my girlfriend, unless something's changed since I left this morning. Meeting the family is part of the deal, especially since I've had to sit through family dinners with yours."

I smiled. "Yes, but I know you and how private you are. I wasn't sure if you'd want them to know you were seeing anyone."

"Are you coming or not? Celia nearly burst my eardrum when I told her I needed to see if my girlfriend wanted to come along and is expecting me to call back in a minute to confirm."

"Yep, I'll go. I'm glad you called when you did. Now I need to buy new clothes," I told him, thinking about all of the different outfits I might need.

I heard Ranger sigh. "Celia's already calling back on the other line," he said and hung up.

I practically danced over to Lula and told her the news.

"Wow, I bet his parents are Wonder Woman and the Hulk," she said as we left the Coach store and headed towards Banana Republic. "You need to get some great outfits. You're gonna meet his family, and you need to make them think you're hot enough for him."

I came to a dead stop and looked at Lula. "Geez, Lula. I know I'm not a supermodel, but I think I'm decent enough."

"I didn't say you weren't, but this is Ranger we're talking about. He's the hottest man on the planet. Do you think his family calls him Ranger?"

I rolled my eyes as I started walking again. "No, I imagine they call him Carlos. And he seems to think I'm good enough for him, so that's all that matters." There was no point in letting onto Lula that I thought she had a point. I felt like a bridge troll compared to him, but he didn't complain. I had wondered what other people thought when they saw us together. I know I judged couples when someone was significantly more attractive than their partner.

I left the outlet mall four hours later laden with shopping bags. I hadn't been sure how formal the attire would be either at dinner or the party, so I bought two cocktail dresses, a casual dress with a floral print, a pair of black dress pants, a brown skirt, and three new shirts. I had shoes and purses to coordinate.

"Nice job, Steph," Lula said as she shoved our bags into the trunk of the Firebird. "You're gonna look smokin' hot when you meet his family. You'll have to tell me if he has any cute single brothers."

"I know he has one brother, but I'm not sure if he's single or hot," I replied, getting into the passenger seat. "Though I can't imagine he's ugly. He's a Manoso, after all."

"That's true. Where do they live?"

"Here in Newark," I told Lula. "Ranger took me to their neighborhood once when we were looking for Julie, but I don't know exactly where they live. I just know it's a Cuban neighborhood similar to the Burg."

"We could do a stake out," Lula suggested.

"No, let's get back home. I only have four days to be sure about what I want to wear over the weekend," I said, feeling the beginnings of nervous butterflies in my stomach. I haven't had to do the meet-the-parents deal in years, which had been when Dickie and I had started dating in college. Life was much different now.

Now my biggest worry was whether a car would explode, a building burn would down or a lunatic would show up at dinner, making me look like an idiot in front of the entire family. I crossed myself and asked God to give me a break when I met Ranger's family, keeping cars and buildings in one piece and crazy people at bay for the weekend.


	10. We Are Family

It was four o'clock Friday afternoon, and I was wearing a plum-colored cocktail dress that fell to about two inches above my knees. It had one strap over my right shoulder and an empire waist with a silver band of fabric dividing the bust from the rest of the dress. I'd bought a pair of silver strappy heels and a silver clutch to match. I thought I looked pretty good, though I debated about whether to put my hair up or leave my hair down. I ultimately decided to wear it pinned up, with a few curls left loose for effect. I hoped that I wouldn't stand out like a sore thumb next to a delectable Ranger.

My make-up was more than natural, but less than tramp, and I wore simple cubic zirconium earrings. I was assessing my look in the full length mirror on my bedroom wall for the umpteenth time when Ranger walked in. He looked like he had been ripped from an Armani catalog with his black blazer, black shirt and black pants. Concern for messing up the look I'd just spent two hours on was the only thing that kept me from tearing his clothes off. I was slightly frustrated because once I looked at Ranger, and then checked out my own reflection again, I felt subpar.

"Can't you ever look just averagely attractive?" I asked him.

Ranger looked down at his clothes and did a palms-up. "What?"

I waved a dismissive hand. "I've been trying to make the difference between us as minimal as possible. But it looks like I didn't make much of an impact."

Ranger stared at me for a moment. "I think you've been having part of this conversation in your head without me."

I gave up a sigh. "Haven't you ever seen couples where one of the partners is ridiculously good-looking and the other is either just plain or plain ugly, and you think 'how did they end up together'?"

Ranger looked at me as if I'd just asked him to recite the Pledge of Allegiance backwards in Swahili.

"I guess, but I'm still not sure I'm in on this conversation," he replied slowly.

I rolled my eyes. "You're the ridiculously good-looking partner, and I'm the plain one that people look at and think 'Good God, how did she end up with him?'."

Ranger put his hands on his hips and stared at me for a full minute. "I've never known you to be insecure about your body."

I shrugged as I turned to check my hair again in the mirror. "I'm not usually. It may just be nerves about meeting your family. I don't want them to think you could do better, even though you could."

I had the feeling I sounded like a raving lunatic and wondered if Ranger wouldn't decide to go to Newark alone this weekend.

Ranger walked up behind me, put his arms around my waist and met my eyes in the mirror's reflection. "Steph, I think you're incredibly sexy, and I'm not alone in holding that opinion. Don't worry about what other people think and try to focus on enjoying our weekend." He kissed me just below my ear and pulled back. "We need to leave in ten minutes. Is your bag packed?"

I nodded to my black duffle bag by the door. "Where will we be staying?"

Ranger picked up my bag. "I have an apartment in Newark. I know my parents would prefer us to stay at their house, but they're more conservative and would make us sleep in separate rooms."

I chuckled. "That would certainly be a tragedy."

"It would be, especially after having to see you in that dress all evening. I'm going to have to work hard to not let my mind wander too much this evening in front of my family or I could really cause a scene."

I smacked him on the arm as I walked past him out of the room. "How many safe houses do you have? I know you have one in North Trenton, but didn't know you had one in Newark."

I walked down the stairs ahead of Ranger, careful not to trip and fall in my tall heels.

"It's not a safe house," Ranger said as we reached the bottom step. "I guess it's what you tend to call 'the Batcave'."

I came to a sudden stop at the base of the stairs, causing Ranger to bump into me, but he put an arm around my waist to keep me from falling over.

"What?" Ranger asked, walking around me towards the door. "Did you forget something?"

I had been frozen in shock since his pronouncement that we'd be staying at the Batcave. I had wondered about this illusive place for four years, but had no idea where it was. I hadn't thought about it being in Newark before, but it made sense.

"I just can't believe I'm going to see the place you consider your home," I told him, grabbing my house keys of the sideboard.

"You're one of very few people in my life to get to know me that well. And you'll get to know me better than anyone, if you keep me around."

I gave a fake, nonchalant shrug. "We'll see."

My leg bounced nervously as the Turbo sped north on Route 1. We were having dinner at _Esmeralda_ , an upscale restaurant in downtown Newark that was owned and operated by Ranger's brother Emilio and sister-in-law Lucy. I was glad I'd chosen a nice dress to wear, as I'd looked up _Esmeralda_ on _UrbanSpoon_ and found that it was liked by ninety-seven percent of reviewers and came with a $$$$ tag, which indicated it was considered 'fine dining'.

"Do all of your sisters still live in Newark?" I asked, trying to take my mind off my nerves.

"Sofia and Celia do, but Silvia lives in Brooklyn and Aurelia is in Manhattan," he told me, his demeanor calm as a truck likely doing thirty miles over the speed limit honked and gave us the finger. I took a peak at Ranger's speedometer. It read that he was fifteen over the limit, which was typical for Jersey.

Now I knew all of his siblings' names, which was a start, but I was hoping to have a little more background before we got there.

"Who's the oldest? Where do you fall in the line?" I asked as I tried to repress my bouncing knee by crossing my legs. The result was a jiggling foot.

Ranger put his hand on my leg. "They're going to love you, Steph, don't worry about it. As for the birth order, Celia is the oldest, Emilio and Sofia are twins, Aurelia, Silvia and me."

"Wow, really? You're the youngest? I always pictured you as the oldest, given how strong and protective you are."

Ranger snorted. "I put up with shit from my older siblings and got my ass kicked by neighborhood kids. That's how I learned to fight and defend myself."

It was hard to imagine a little Ranger being teased and beaten up by other kids, particularly given how attractive and fit he was as an adult. I squeezed the hand that rested on my leg as we merged onto the Turnpike headed towards Newark. Ranger responded by moving his hand up my thigh, making my dress ride up.

"Hey buddy, you're driving," I told him, giving his hand a light smack.

Ranger smiled. "Babe, I can drive a car and make you happy at the same time."

I moved his hand back down my leg. "Another time. I'd rather not be flustered going into dinner with your family. Speaking of your family, who else will be there tonight?"

"All of my siblings and their spouses, my Grandma Rosa, who lives with my parents, and my Grandma Bella from Miami. I believe the kids are staying with babysitters tonight."

"You have a Grandma Bella?!"

"Yes, but she's nothing like Bella Morelli."

"Just the name gives me the chills," I told Ranger, fighting the urge to make the sign of the cross.

Fifteen minutes later, we pulled up outside of a ten-story building. As soon as we stopped, a man in a black suit came out to the car. He opened my door and I stepped out of the Turbo. The man handed Ranger a valet ticket, got in the Turbo and drove away. I imagined he'd take the longest way possible to the parking garage, just to enjoy his time in the expensive sports car. Ranger took my hand guided me to a set of double doors. He opened the door and I walked inside to a two-story lobby with black marble floors and cream-colored walls. There was an elevator to the right and a large marble staircase to the left that led to a walkway across the second floor. In front of us was a set of French doors with the name _Esmeralda_ etched in dark red across the glass above the door frame.

"We're in the upstairs banquet room," Ranger said. We took the stairs up to the walkway and to another set of French doors. He opened the door and I walked through it with Ranger close behind me. A large round table was set up in the middle of the floor. It looked to be mahogany, but was covered in a dark red tablecloth and surrounded by chairs of the same style. Two older women were sitting at the table speaking animatedly while they sipped red wine. A group of men stood around the bar in the corner, laughing and holding drinks. A red-headed woman wearing a loose-fitting black dress was giving instructions to two waiters, who were taking hasty notes on pads.

"Oh Carlos, you're here!"

I turned to see a woman in her early-sixties walking quickly our way. She looked to be about three or four inches shorter than me, with dark hair cut in a short bob. She wore a blue wrap dress that came to her knees and matching heels. When she smiled, it was the same mega-watt smile as Ranger's.

"Hola," Ranger said, kissing his mother on the cheek as she hugged him. When his mother released him, she turned to me.

"Mom, this Stephanie Plum. Steph, this is my mother, Lola Manoso."

I smiled, putting up my best Burg manners. "Hello, Mrs. Manoso. It's a pleasure to meet you."

She pulled me into a surprising hug. I patted her awkwardly on the back, looking over at Ranger, who gave me a small grin.

"Please, call me Lola. Mrs. Manoso makes me feel old," Lola said, pulling back from me. She held me at arm's length and appraised me for a minute. "You are absolutely beautiful, Stephanie."

I was taken aback by Lola Manoso's lavish praise, but before I could respond, I was approached by more women. The first was Celia, who was my height and had blonde highlights in her brown hair. She also hugged me, told me I was beautiful and instructed Ranger not to let me go. By the time their sister Sofia did the same thing, I was beginning to think it was a Cuban custom.

Javier Manoso had greeted me warmly with a smile and handshake. He had the same intelligent eyes and dimples as Ranger. He was still a very handsome man in his sixties, so I imagined he looked a lot like Ranger when he was younger. It was no wonder they had six kids.

Aurelia was more restrained, merely shaking my hand and giving me a small ''hello''. Ranger's brother, Emilio, gave me a big hug, lifting me slightly off the ground. Once he put me down, the red-head I saw earlier smacked him on the back of the head.

"Honestly, Emilio. You'll have to forgive my husband, Stephanie, he has no impulse control. I'm Lucy, and I'm so thankful to see another non-Cuban," she told me, grinning behind her at her family-in-law.

"Ouch, that wounds us," Emilio said, putting a hand over his heart.

"John's not Cuban," Aurelia offered, at which Lucy rolled her eyes.

"John also spends any time he's around us glued to his cell phone. I've had better conversations with Grandma Rosa, and she doesn't speak English," Lucy muttered so only I could hear her.

Ranger came to my side at last, putting his hand on my back. "Feeling better about yourself?" he whispered in my ear.

I nodded and smiled. "They certainly know how to make a girl feel special."

"Where's Silvia?" Ranger asked, looking around the room. "I thought this was a mandatory event."

Celia cleared her throat, catching Ranger's eye with a significant look.

"I'm not sure," Lola said, checking her watch. "Maybe we need to call her."

"I'll check on her, Mom," Celia offered. "Why don't you go sit down?"

Lola, Aurelia, Lucy and Sofia went to the table, and Emilio had wandered off to talk to the men by the bar, leaving Ranger and me standing with Celia.

"What's going on?" Ranger asked Celia in a quiet voice.

Celia looked around to make sure none of the family was around.

"Silvia called me earlier to tell me she didn't know if she would make it. She and Michael had a huge fight last night and they were trying to work things out, though she didn't want to tell me why. I finally got it out of her that she's been having an affair and he found out about it. I don't want to tell Mom and Dad about it this weekend because I don't want to upset them, but I'm afraid they'll either try to go see her or call her if I don't come up with a good enough excuse," Celia finished.

Ranger raised an eyebrow. "I can't say I'm surprised Silvia had an affair."

Celia's eyes widened. "Me neither, but you know how she has the wool pulled over on Mom and Dad. I doubt the 'good girl' will be able to keep this a secret. But come on, help me make up an excuse. You're an excellent liar."

Ranger snorted. "It's a good skill to have. I think you need to confirm with Silvia that she definitely won't be coming tonight first. We don't want to make up an excuse and then have her show up. If she won't be here, then she needs to know the story as we're telling it until the truth comes out or gets swept under the rug. We could go with a migraine, say Michael is there to take care of her, and that she hopes to be over it by the party tomorrow."

Celia thought about it for a moment. "Sounds good. I'll go make the call now."

I stood with Ranger after Celia left. "Wow. I've been around ten minutes, and I'm already in on the family gossip. I feel honored."

"Yeah, you should, especially when it's about Silvia. Our parents think she's our version of Valerie when she's actually more like Joyce Barnhardt."

Ranger guided me over to the table and pulled out a chair next to one of the older women. "Steph, this is my Grandma Bella. _Abuela_ , this is my girlfriend, Stephanie."

Grandma Bella smiled sweetly at me. "Hello, Stephanie. It's nice to meet you."

"Likewise," I replied, taking my seat. Ranger made an introduction in Spanish to the other older woman, his Grandma Rosa, who smiled and waved. I returned the smile and wave.

The dinner table conversation flowed naturally, with everyone carrying on more than one conversation at a time. Celia had come back to the room to announce that Silvia wouldn't be making it due to a migraine, and within minutes of this announcement dinner began being served. I noticed Ranger was more relaxed around his family, smiling and talking more often than usual. I was peppered with questions about how Ranger and I met, why it took us four years to end up together, and if we had plans to get married. Ranger had handled the last question, luckily, the way I had with my own family. I didn't figure his family ever referred to him as Ranger, so anytime I said his name, I called him Carlos, though I tended to stumble through it the first couple of times. I saw the corners of his mouth twitch each time.

By the end of the evening, I had learned more about Ranger's family from observing and participating in different conversations. I found out Lola worked as a nurse and Javier was a contractor who owned his own business. Celia taught third grade, and her husband Andres worked with Javier. They had two children. Sofia was a stay-at-home-mom to four kids while her husband Tony practiced family law. Aurelia worked as an accountant at a large bank in Manhattan while her husband John, a tall blonde man around fifty, who indeed did not look up from his cell phone, worked on Wall Street. Silvia, I was told, worked as an interior designer and likely had a migraine from exposure to fabric glue and her husband Michael was a doctor. Emilio and Lucy owned the restaurant, but hadn't managed to have any children after three miscarriages.

"You were also the one that helped get Julie back when she was kidnapped," Celia mentioned as a flan was being brought out for dessert.

I took a sip of water, having had one glass of wine already and not trusting myself to have another. "Well, I made myself an easy target to get kidnapped by the same person, but other than that, I'm not sure I was much help. I was more terrified during the situation than I think Julie was. Carlos was the one who tracked down the guy, got in his head, and then got shot so that Julie and I could be saved."

Ranger put his hand on my leg and squeezed. "Stephanie doesn't realize the impact she made in Julie's rescue. She has this uncanny ability to get people to open up to her, which led us to finding out the guy's real name and ultimately tracking him down. I believe that if Steph hadn't been involved, I wouldn't have been able to find the guy in time before he lost interest and killed Julie."

My mouth fell open at this statement. I couldn't believe he was giving me so much credit for saving Julie. In reality, my kidnapping was inevitable because Scrog had wanted me. It wasn't like I'd pulled some _Mission: Impossible_ -style break in to where Julie was being held.

I put my hand on top of Ranger's and squeezed, not quite sure how to respond. Celia, ever the leader, stood and faced her parents.

"Before we start dessert, I thought we should recognize Mom and Dad for the forty years they've been married, working hard to create a life for their children and staying in love the entire time. I can only hope that Andres and I have the same amount of time together and experience even half as much happiness. I honestly can't imagine your lives when the six of us were growing up. We all managed to get into some sort of trouble at some point, except for Silvia, yet you loved us and you supported us in whatever way we needed you to in order to get through it. We all came out on the other side better for the experience, and now you have six children, five children-in-law and seven grandchildren who are here because of your love and sacrifice. We tried to figure out what we could give you to show you how much we appreciate you and we realized nothing can come close to thanking you. We have, however, decided you deserve the honeymoon you never had, so you will be spending ten days in Hawaii at a luxurious resort where you will be taken care of in every way possible. We love you."

Everyone raised their glasses towards Lola and Javier, who looked stunned at the gift their children had just given them. Lola wiped tears from her eyes as she looked affectionately at her family. As I watched Lola and Javier, I wondered if that would be Ranger and me in the future. I could imagine him in his sixties when I looked at his father, though when I thought of myself in my sixties, I could only picture a taller and younger version of Grandma Mazur.

Once Celia sat down, Emilio stood up. "I have to say that Celia made a mistake in her speech. She said there are seven grandchildren, when there are actually nine, but the youngest two won't be making an appearance for another five months."

A collective gasp ran around the table as Lucy smiled brightly. "We have not only made it through a first trimester, but we've made it almost halfway through the second trimester with two babies, no complications and I've managed to keep it a secret until now. Now that's an anniversary present," she quipped, making everyone laugh.

Lola jumped up and ran around the table to hug her daughter-in-law and put a hand on her abdomen, which was now obviously rounded when the dress was pressed against it. The grandmothers were crying and speaking excitedly in rapid Spanish. I looked over at Ranger.

"This is the first time I'm meeting your family, and I've managed to get in on a family secret and a major announcement. Have all of the girls you've brought home been privy to such special treatment?" I asked, lacing my fingers in his.

Ranger smiled and brought my hand up to his lips. "Babe, the only other woman I've ever brought to meet my family was Rachel, and that wasn't a normal situation."

I smiled at him. "You are full of surprises. I suspected you hadn't brought many women home, but to be the first girlfriend you've brought home makes me feel pretty important."

I hadn't realized that we'd gotten lost in our own conversation and each other, because I suddenly became aware that it was silent in the banquet room and everyone was staring at us.

"Did we miss something?" Ranger asked, apparently as confused as I was.

Lola had walked around the table from where Lucy was sitting and came over to Ranger, putting her hands on his shoulders.

"No, Carlos. We were just admiring you and Stephanie, and how obviously in love you are with each other. I've always wanted you to find the happiness your father and I have had, and I think you have," she told him, kissing him on the top of the head.

I tried not to blush and Ranger patted his mother's hand on his shoulder. "Thanks, Mom."

Conversation resumed around the table as people began enjoying their flan. Lucy and Celia had disappeared at some point, and Andres and Tony had gone back to the bar to get fresh drinks. I excused myself from the table and went in search of the restroom, which Ranger told me was down the hall. I found the ladies' room and walked into the lounge area, where a large mirror with lights and chairs was set up for refreshing make-up and hair. There was another door, which led to the restroom. I could hear voices coming from the room and realized as I was retouching my lipstick that it was Lucy and Celia.

"I don't think I've ever seen Carlos look so happy," Celia was saying. "Earlier when he kissed her hand and smiled at her, I nearly started crying. It was about the sweetest thing I've ever seen out of my little brother."

"Oh I know. These pregnancy hormones are making me emotional, and I wanted to start crying as soon as they walked in and I saw how he was watching her. He is so in love with her," Lucy replied as I heard water start running in a sink. "I hope they get married. She's different from him, and it brings out the best in him. Not to mention, I think she'd be a great addition to the family."

Celia laughed. "You also like that she's another non-Cuban. Too bad she isn't a red-head, or I think you'd be holding Carlos at gun-point to marry her."

Both women laughed, and I gave it a minute before walking into the restroom, not wanting them to know I'd been listening.

"Hey, we were just talking about you," Celia said when she saw me. "We are amazed at how sweet my brother is with you. Is he always like this?"

I thought about how Ranger had been with me around his family, and found I was surprised that it had been no different than he normally was around me, with the exception of keeping the oozing sexuality under wraps. "Yeah, I guess he is. I'm so used to it, I don't think about how it appears to other people."

Celia looked surprised. "I thought you guys had only been together about a month?"

I nodded as I started washing my hands. "Yes, but he's been this way with me for a long time. We always seemed to be somewhere between friends and boyfriend/girlfriend, but we never got to the dating part until recently."

Lucy caught my eye in the mirror and grinned. "Really? So you'd had a taste of the goods before you started dating then?"

Celia covered her ears. "Hey, that's my baby brother. I don't want to know."

I shook my head. "And I don't want to talk about it either, so we're good."

Lucy sighed. "You two are no fun."

The three of us walked out of the restroom together and headed back to the banquet room. We ran into Aurelia and John leaving. John was talking in what sounded like Chinese, and Aurelia was texting on her phone behind him as they walked. Neither of them bid us goodbye, or even acknowledged our presence. Lucy, Celia and I stared after them for a minute.

"I wonder if they ever talk to each other," Lucy said. "I think in the entire time I've been married to Emilio, I've seen them say five words to each other. They never smile, hold hands or appear remotely affectionate. I don't get it."

"I bet it's because he isn't Latino. Latinos are full of love and passion. He's Polish, I think," Celia said, peeking over the railing at her brother-in-law.

"Are the Polish not good lovers?" I asked, having no experience with one myself.

"My one experience was far from spectacular, but that may not be indicative of the culture as a whole. I just know I've had much more fun with my Puerto Rican for the past fifteen years," Celia said with a wink.

We walked back into the banquet room and found the rest of the family preparing to leave. Ranger was giving his each of his grandmothers a hug and kiss on the cheek when I walked over to him.

"You must bring Stephanie down to Miami sometime, Carlos," Bella said. "I want to get to know her better. She's clearly very special."

Ranger put an arm around my waist. "She is, _Abuela_."

I said goodbye to Lola and Javier, promising to see them at the party the next day. I told Celia and Lucy we were leaving for the night.

"Are you guys staying with Mom and Dad?" Celia asked Ranger.

"No, we'll be at my apartment," he replied.

Lucy winked at me. "Have a good night."

Ranger looked from Lucy to me, but I shook my head. He wouldn't be interested in the knowledge that his sister-in-law wants to know what he was like in bed.

We all walked down the stairs together, giving over our car tickets to the valets that were standing around the lobby. Ranger held my hand and rubbed his thumb over my knuckles. He had a look in his eyes that told me we'd be barely in the door of his apartment before I was being peeled out of my dress. I noticed Celia watching us, so I leaned over to whisper in Ranger's ear.

"You need to get that look off your face. Your sister is watching, and I don't think she wants to know how badly you want to get me in bed."

Ranger moved his head so his mouth was next to my ear. "Babe, we're Cubans. We always want to get our women in bed. Besides, I was thinking about the drive up, when I said I could drive and make you happy at the same time. I'll have to give you a demonstration on the ride to my place."

I tried to keep the blush off my face at the thought as Ranger kissed me just below my ear.

"Who had the Turbo?" asked one of the valets.

Ranger pulled me towards the door, giving a wave to the rest of the family still waiting in the lobby. We got in the car, and Ranger pulled away from the curb. I was nearly squirming with the idea of getting diddled in the Turbo, which seemed more exciting than the time Ranger and I had sex in it.

At least my ass won't be on the horn, I thought as Ranger drove with his left hand and began running his right hand up the inside of my thigh.


	11. Magalehna

Twenty minutes later, Ranger punched in the security code to the underground parking garage of his apartment building. I was still panting and shaking from a fantastic orgasm as I moved my panties back to their regular position and pulled the hem of my dress down. Ranger had a slightly smug smile on his face as he pulled into a parking spot and looked down at his lap once he turned the car off.

"Yeah, I can't get out of the car like this. There are kids in this building," he said, trying to adjust himself so that there wasn't an obvious bulge in his pants. I considered offering to take care of it for him, but realized I'd never be able to comfortably lean over with the console and gear shift in the way.

After a minute, he was able to find a position that was a little less obvious, though if you looked closely enough it was clear what was going on.

"I'll walk in front of you," I told him. "If you can walk, that is."

Ranger smiled. "Babe, I've had to do more than just walk while in this condition before. I'll manage."

Once we'd gotten our duffle bags out of the Turbo's cargo area, we walked over to the elevator and got on. Ranger pushed the number twelve button and the elevator began moving, but stopped on the main floor lobby. I noticed Ranger move his duffle bag to hold in front of him as two kids about ten years-old stepped onto the elevator. They proceeded to hit every button not lit on the panel so that we stopped on every single floor, making them snicker and trying my resolve to not beat my head against the wall of the elevator. They got off on the fifth floor, which meant Ranger and I had to stop on every floor after that until we mercifully arrived on twelve. We stepped off the elevator and Ranger guided me down the hall to the right. We stopped in front of twelve-ten, and Ranger pulled out a key and unlocked the door.

I held my breath as I stepped inside. I couldn't believe I was in the Batcave, which was currently pitch black so that I couldn't see a thing. Ranger had walked slightly ahead of me and flipped on an overhead light.

I was standing in a small, narrow entryway with closets along the right hand wall. To my left was a small galley kitchen that had white appliances and butcher block countertop. It also had a bar that opened onto the living room. The living room was about the same size as the living room in my old apartment, with a black leather sofa facing a flat screen television mounted on the wall. There were also two black leather recliners, a dark cherry coffee table and two matching end tables. On the wall behind the sofa were mounted picture frames of various people. I wasn't close enough to see who they were, but could tell there were older pictures and more recent photos mixed in. There was a small hallway off to the right of the living room.

"This is the bedroom," Ranger told me, beckoning me to follow him to a room down the hall.

There was a queen-sized bed with a cream-colored duvet in the middle of the room, flanked by two walnut bedside tables. Along the opposite wall were a dresser and desk that matched the bedside tables with a black leather office chair at the desk.

I noticed a bookshelf along the furthest wall that contained books and a bunch of random objects that had no clear connection to one another. I walked over to it and begin looking through them, finding a handcuff that had been severed from its twin, a small seashell, a SEAL cap that I had seen Ranger wear in the past, a key chain with various car keys, an ink pen, a little container with what looked like spent rounds, and a rosary.

"This is a bit random," I told Ranger, who had been watching me look through his shelves. "Are these things significant, or did you just not know where to put them?"

"Each thing represents something or someone significant in my life," Ranger told me. "The rosary was the only thing my grandfather brought with him when he and my grandmother fled Cuba with my dad. The pen is the one I used when I signed up to join the Army. The handcuff is from when I was captured in Colombia and tortured for three days before escaping. The SEAL hat is from a friend who got killed a couple of days after he gave it to me. Julie gave me the seashell on the day her adoption by Ron was final. The bullets came out of the vest I was wearing when I was shot by Scrog. And the keys belong to every single car of mine that you've managed to destroy."

I was surprised that Ranger had kept things with sentimental value. The only time he had ever shown much attachment to anything had been the one time he let me wear the SEAL hat and had told me it reminded him to always stay alert.

"Your reminders of me are bullets and keys to blown up cars? How romantic."

Ranger grinned and put an arm around my waist. "Well, I thought a condom and one of your thongs might be a bit tacky."

I smacked him on the arm, and then turned around to hug him. "Thank you for bringing me here," I told him. "It's nice to finally see this place. It tells me a lot about you."

"Like I said, you have the chance to know me better than anyone else," Ranger told me, kissing me on the top of the head.

I leaned back to look at him. "I know I'm the only girlfriend you've brought to meet your family, but I doubt I'm the only woman to have seen this apartment."

Ranger raised an eyebrow. "Babe, do you really want to know that information?"

"Yes, I can handle it. After all, I dated Joe Morelli, who's nailed half the women in Jersey."

"Are you wanting to know how many women have been in this apartment, or how many women I've slept with?"

I thought about it for a moment. "Both," I said, hoping I could handle the information. It was one thing to know about Morelli's past, as I had been there or learned about it as it happened. Ranger's would be coming at me all at once.

"I only lived here full-time for a year and a half, and during that time I brought three women here. One was a woman I had a sexual relationship with for a few months, and the other two were one-night stands," Ranger informed me.

I nodded. That number wasn't bad, but the number I was more curious about was going to be much higher. Ranger was a sexy man whose moral code was fairly vague on rules when it came to getting into a woman's panties. I stared at him expectantly when he didn't continue.

Ranger sighed. "And I have had sex with twenty-six women."

"Oh, that's not too bad. I was thinking it would be much higher. Do you at least remember everyone's names?"

"For the most part. There were a couple of one-night stands whose last names I never knew, but I'd recognize them if I saw them again."

I felt a little better after he told me that. Morelli's number had been well into the three-digits, he only remembered about fifty percent of their names, and on more than one occasion while he and I had been out on a date, a woman had approached him and alluded to the fact that they had slept together, but he didn't remember her.

"Since I had to give it up, are you going to tell me your number?" Ranger asked.

"You mean you don't know that from your background checks on me?" I asked.

Ranger smiled. "We don't go that in-depth unnecessarily."

I rolled my eyes, and began counting off on my fingers. "There was Morelli and Carl Costanza in high school, Kyle Lewis and Greg Jones in college, Dickie Orr in college and marriage, Phillip Davenport after my divorce, and you, so that makes seven."

"You slept with Costanza?"

"Yeah, it was in high school, after Morelli. We got drunk the night of our senior prom and went at it in the back of his car. He ripped my dress, had a small dick, and finished before I was even close."

Ranger shook his head. "I'll never be able to look at Costanza the same way again. And here I thought the Trenton PD was cleared out of all of the men who had seen you naked."

"There are a lot more women who've seen you naked than men who have seen me naked. Anyone I know?" I asked. There had always been lots of rumors about Ranger and Jeanne Ellen Burrows, but I'd never asked him before.

"Ancient history, babe," Ranger said as he began unzipping my dress. "You're not the first woman in this apartment, but you will be the first woman in this bed."

He certainly knows how to change a topic.

I woke up the next morning snuggled against Ranger in his bed. The sheets weren't the orgasmic thread count of the ones he had in his apartment at Rangeman, but they were comfortable and we had thoroughly christened his bed during the night. I slid out of his grip, picked up my duffle bag from the bedroom floor and made my way to the bathroom. I showered and got ready for the day, putting on a floral summer dress with a halter top. I pulled my hair back in a pony-tail and put in some silver hoop earrings. I wandered out to the kitchen, but found it mostly empty. It wouldn't make sense to keep much food when Ranger wasn't here often, though he thankfully kept coffee supplies on hand. I had the coffee brewing when Ranger walked out of the bedroom. He was wearing a pair of sweat pants and was shirtless as he grabbed a coffee cup for himself.

"There's nothing to eat," I told Ranger as my stomach growled loudly. "I worked up an appetite last night, and now I'm starving."

Ranger grinned. "There's diner nearby that I like to go to for breakfast. Let me get showered and dressed, and we'll eat there before heading to Sofia's house."

Ranger took his coffee into the bathroom with him and I took mine into the living room. I stood in front of the couch and looked at the picture frames on the wall behind it. There were photos of Ranger as a little boy with his grandparents, his grandmothers looking very much the same as they did last night, only with less gray hair and fewer wrinkles.

A photo containing all four grandparents, both parents and all six kids had been taken in front of a large tree, and Ranger looked to be about five or six years old at the time. A photo directly below it showed the family twenty-five years later, with the grandfathers notably missing, and five great-grandchildren fighting to sit still. Sofia was very pregnant in the photo, and Ranger's hair was cut in the same short style he'd kept for the past couple of years, indicating the photo was fairly recent.

I moved along the wall, finding a recent school photo of Julie. She looked much the same as when I had seen her, though slightly more mature. I recognized a photo of Ranger with the men from his Special Forces unit as the one he had showed me when Orin was on the loose and hunting us down. There was another photo of Ranger standing at attention in his Army uniform. He looked incredibly young, with his hair buzzed short, and a serious expression on his face. There were no pictures of old girlfriends or his ex-wife, thankfully, but there were also no pictures of his new girlfriend.

Ranger came back out to the living room a little while later, dress in black pants and a black dress shirt. He was sans jacket, which made me wonder where he was keeping his gun.

"I was enjoying your pictures," I told him. "You were adorable as a little boy."

"I looked like a boyish version of Julie."

I looked over at Julie's picture and then back at Ranger's picture of his younger days. He was kind of right.

"Well, Julie's beautiful."

"Yes, she is. But boys aren't supposed to be beautiful."

We went to breakfast at a nearby diner where Ranger ordered an egg-white omelet and fruit while I asked chocolate chip pancakes and bacon. I'd received a 'how the hell did you end up with him' look from the waitress when I placed my order, and a 'you're going to get fat eating like that' look from Ranger.

"The metabolism lasts until forty, so I still have a few years left to enjoy it. Then I'll start eating healthier," I told him.

"It takes a while to get into those habits, babe."

"Are you going to leave me if I get fat?"

Ranger didn't say anything for a minute, but took a sip of his coffee as he looked at me. I made a look of indignation at the implied response.

"No, babe, I won't leave you if you get fat. I will, however, try to get you to exercise and eat healthier so that you'll live longer and give us more years together," he finally responded.

Damn, that was actually kind of sweet, and it had made me feel guilty about my order. I flagged down our waitress and replaced my bacon with fruit. Small changes turn into big ones, right?

We made it to Sofia's house an hour later, where Celia was passing out orders to her siblings and in-laws as to their responsibilities during the party. I offered to help, but Celia waved it away, telling me I was still new, so I was off the hook this time around. Ranger was given the task of keeping the peace between some feuding cousins, and ensuring that the bartender cut people off before they had too much to drink to be able to drive home safely. The weather was beautiful, so the party would be spilling out into the backyard where tables and chairs were set up around a dance floor. A salsa band was milling around, setting up their instruments and testing the acoustics of the backyard.

"Hey Stephanie," Lucy said as she headed towards the kitchen to start her job of setting out the food. "Just a few words of advice on attending a Manoso/Carranza family event: Don't turn our back on Uncle Humberto, he'll grab your ass; don't ask cousin Maria Angela about her eyebrows, and never, ever mention Castro, the Bay of Pigs, or Guantanamo Bay."

I stared at Lucy for minute, processing everything she'd told me. I had a feeling the only thing I actually had to worry about was Uncle Humberto's wandering hands, but I was grateful for the warnings nonetheless.

Lola, Javier and their mothers arrived at eleven-thirty and the party was due to start at noon. I was helping Sofia put the finishing touches on the tables' centerpieces when people started to arrive. I had always thought my family was enormous, given we were Italian and Catholic, but Cuban and Catholic put my family to shame. Ranger was hugged by numerous aunts, uncles, and cousins, all of whom asked him if he was seeing anyone. As soon as he would indicate me, I was hugged and kissed and welcomed to the family as though Ranger and I were married. When an older man wearing tan trousers and a blue striped shirt grabbed my butt while hugging me, I knew I'd found Uncle Humberto.

A woman with a massive unibrow came in after Ranger had removed Uncle Humberto's hand from my ass and gave him a beer.

"Hola, Maria Angela," Ranger said as the woman kissed him on both cheeks. "This is my girlfriend, Stephanie."

Maria Angela's unibrow shot up. "Oh, Carlos. How wonderful! Welcome to the family, Stephanie," Maria Angela said, hugging me and kissing me on both cheeks.

"Geez," I told Ranger after Maria Angela left us to join the crowd. "Your entire family acts like we just announced our engagement or something."

Ranger wrapped an arm around my waist, resting his hand on my hip. "Babe, they know that if I'm bringing someone home to meet the family, it's permanent."

I turned to look at him, a look of incredulity surely written all over my face. "That's incredibly presumptuous of you, Mr. Manoso."

Ranger watched me for a minute with an expression of amused affection. "Do you _really_ think so?"

I knew it wasn't presumptuous. It was a fact I had known since I decided to pursue a relationship with Ranger. I squeezed his hand as yet another Manoso family member greeted us, thus bringing the conversation to a close.

I was shuttled around the party, meeting various people and helping out wherever I was needed. After an hour of mingling, Celia stood on the dance floor and used a microphone from the band's loud speaker to thank everyone for coming to the party to honor her parents' anniversary. She then informed Lola and Javier that they would be dancing to the song they danced to at their wedding, which was something in Spanish that I didn't quite catch. I was standing along the edge of the party, sipping a glass of wine and watching the Manosos dance when I felt someone come up behind me.

I instinctively leaned back, thinking it was Ranger when a hand pinched my butt. I squeaked and turned around to find Uncle Humberto grinning at me. I caught sight of Lucy in my peripheral vision doubled over laughing.

"I thought you were Carlos," I told him, not wanting him to get the wrong idea. Humberto winked at me and walked away.

I looked around for Ranger and could see him through the windows in the kitchen, standing between two men. I walked inside and could hear raised voices. These must be the feuding cousins.

They were arguing in Spanish with Ranger standing in the middle, speaking in his typical calm tone.

"Hey, guys," I announced after a moment. "What's the problem?"

All three men turned to face me. "Who the hell are you?" the tallest of the men asked. He had a mean look about him that made me feel uncomfortable, like the kind of person you'd see on the news for murdering his wife.

"That's my girlfriend, Stephanie," Ranger said coolly.

The taller man sneered at me for a moment. "A white girl, of course. You always did have bad taste, Carlos."

My jaw dropped open at the remark. Ranger's family had been nothing but kind to me, and no one had said anything about me being white, except for Lucy, who had been thrilled.

Ranger stared at the man for a moment. "I don't care what you think of my taste, Juan. Just avoid Ernesto during the party today. Celia will kill you both if you ruin the party she's worked so hard to set up."

The man I presumed was Ernesto snorted. "I'm more concerned about him avoiding my wife. I'd love nothing more than to meet him behind the garage, so I can bury him in Sofia's rose bushes."

Ernesto turned his attention to me. "Hey, Stephanie, consider yourself lucky that Juan doesn't like white girls. Otherwise, he'd probably try to get in your pants the way he did my wife's."

Juan started to charge at Ernesto, but Ranger grabbed him by the shirt and shoved him against the wall.

"Don't even think about it. It's the truth, and you know it. Get outside, now." Ranger told him, releasing him. Juan stalked away, bumping into me as he walked out into the backyard.

Ernesto loitered around for a minute, looking out the window. "I can't believe Celia invited us both. What was she thinking?"

"She was probably thinking you two could act like adults for the sake of your aunt and uncle," Ranger told him. "But she assigned me the task of making sure you two didn't get in a fight, just in case. Can you go out there and behave, or do I have to shoot both of you?"

Ernesto was a little shorter and stockier than Ranger, but he wasn't bad looking. He looked outside again for a minute, shoved his hands in his jean pockets and walked out the back door. Ranger walked over to me, and pulled me into a hug.

"I'm going to be more of a bouncer than the son of the honorees today," he told me. "Try to have fun without me, but a word of caution: avoid Juan. He may try to antagonize you into saying something, hoping you'll make yourself look bad in front of the family. He's a hothead, and the reason he's not married is because he beat the shit out of his wife one too many times, and she left him. I'd rather not have to kill him, though the entire family would help me hide the body and no one would breathe a word. No one likes him, not even his own parents."

I kissed Ranger on the cheek. "Understood, but I'll stick with you as much as I can. I may kill Uncle Humberto if he grabs my ass again."

Ranger chuckled. "Yes, he's the family pervert. I'd threaten him, but he'd just tell me that it would be a hell of a way to go out and do it anyway. I'm trying not to maim or kill anyone today, but people like Juan make it difficult."

We walked back out into the yard and watched as Ranger's parents finished their dance. The crowd clapped and then the band began a lively salsa number. Several couples made their way to the dance floor and began dancing. I was amazed at how good they all were, even the older couples.

"Wow, everyone's so good," I told Ranger.

"We're Cubans, babe. We're great on the dance floor, in the kitchen, and in the bedroom."

I grinned. "I'm well aware of that last part, though I've never seen you make anything more complicated than a sandwich, and I've never seen you dance."

"All in time, babe."

The sound of raised voices met our ears. Ranger sighed and walked away, headed over to a table where Juan was sitting across from Ernesto. Geez, you'd think they'd learn.

Sofia and Lucy caught my attention, waving me over to where they were standing with a pretty woman wearing a black dress. I made my way across the yard, skirting around Uncle Humberto's table.

"Stephanie, this is our sister Silvia," Sofia said, indicating the woman in black.

"Hello. It's nice to meet you," I told her as she shook my hand.

She nodded. "Likewise. I'm sorry I couldn't make it to dinner last night. I had a migraine."

Our eyes met for a moment, and I nodded. She likely knew that I was aware of the true story, but wasn't going to say anything. Lucy and Sofia chatted animatedly while Silvia and I stood silently, all of us watching the dance floor. Several young men came up and talked to Silvia, who was polite, but cool. I noticed a man watching her from a nearby table, and I suspected he was her husband. Silvia seemed to ooze sexuality like Ranger, so it really wasn't a surprise that nearly every male that wasn't family were practically clambering around her.

I went back in the house, not sure of what to do or who to talk to. I was ready for this party to be over, but suspected it wasn't even close to being over. We'd only been there three hours, and no one looked tired or bored. I walked in the kitchen, where both of Ranger's grandmothers were sitting and talking with a couple of older Cuban women. I waved as I walked past, headed towards the restroom. I took care of business, touched up my lip gloss and walked back towards the kitchen, where the voices of younger women speaking in English met my ears.

"I can't believe they are actually together. I mean, did you look at her? She's a white girl, first of all, and she's not very pretty. What the hell is Carlos thinking? She's only after his money, and the chance to make herself look good on the arm of a hot guy. I've seen her in the papers before. She's a disaster; they call her 'The Bombshell Bounty Hunter'. I imagine she must give really good head or something—"

"Angela! I can't believe you just said that!" I peeked around the corner of the wall to see who had yelled. It was Ranger's Grandma Bella. She was standing up, a fierce expression on her lined face.

"Sorry _tia_ , but you can't believe she isn't interested in his money. You haven't seen the newspaper articles about her. She blows up cars, and burns down funeral homes. I have a friend whose brother-in-law works at the Trenton Police Department. She's a big joke, and apparently she used to be involved with an Italian cop, but everyone thought she was sleeping with Carlos at the same time. You can't know that she's not seeing someone else, and just keeping Carlos around for his money. We need to look out for him. You know he's never been the same since he came back from the Army, and I can't help but wonder if his judgment wasn't messed up while he was gone."

I heard footsteps across the kitchen, and a second later the sound of someone being smacked rang out. No one spoke for a minute, and it didn't sound like anyone was moving. I stood on the other side of the wall, trying not to breathe too hard while dealing the sensation of being kicked in the gut. Was this what people really thought about me? I'd never considered that people might see me as a gold-digger. I knew Ranger was wealthy, but I didn't often stop to consider what it meant. He lived well, but only because Ella made him do so. We never talked about money, except when I needed to earn it and he would give me some work at Rangeman. His expensive cars were collateral for security he provided to some business. I didn't want to hear anything else Angela had to say, so I quietly slipped down the hall to the restroom and loudly shut the door. I walked down the hall like I had just left the bathroom and tried to keep my face neutral. As I walked into the kitchen, everyone turned to look at me. Angela was holding her cheek, and another woman stood beside her looking equally shocked. Grandma Bella gave me a determined look, and I gave a small nod as I walked through and back out to the yard.

The band was playing a slow song as I walked through the tables to the food area. I started stuffing my face with some sort of chocolate pastry and picked up a flute of champagne to wash it down. I needed to distract myself from what I just heard before I saw Ranger again. He'd know something was wrong if he saw me at the moment, and I didn't want to explain what I'd just heard. He'd be disappointed in his family, or worse, he'd think they were right. I had felt so happy at dinner the night before, glad that his immediate family seemed to like me, and had assumed it would carry through to the extended family when they had greeted me so warmly. Angela's pronouncement made me question the entire family's feelings. I now suspected everyone thought of me as some pathetic tramp who was seducing a sexy, emotionally-damaged man for his money.

I really wanted to leave the party, but didn't think I would have the opportunity to do so without Ranger insisting on coming with me, plus I didn't want to distract from his parents' day. I also didn't want to stand around all afternoon trying to keep the feeling of rejection off my face.

I was still contemplating what my next move would be when I felt arms slip around my waist. Thinking it was Uncle Humberto, I threw an elbow back into his stomach.

"Oh, babe!" Ranger said, which made me spin around.

"Sorry, I thought you were Humberto."

He rubbed his rib cage for a moment, grimacing slightly. "Good aim. Those were the ribs that got broken when Scrog shot me. They've stayed a little tender since."

Great, now I was a gold-digging hussy who elbowed her boyfriend in an old injury he got while saving her life. Where was a sniper when you needed one?

"Sorry," I moaned again, picking up another flute of champagne and chugging it down.

"Babe, what's wrong?" Damn Ranger and his perceptiveness.

"Nothing," I lied, attempting a smile. "How's the babysitting going?"

"Juan left a few minutes ago, so the job's over. Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, just a bit of a headache. Do you think Sofia would mind if I went to lie down for a bit?"

Ranger watched me for a minute, and I knew he was seeing if I would break and tell him the truth. "No, she wouldn't mind. Do you need something for the headache?"

"I've got something in my bag," I said. "I'll take it and lay down for a bit. I'm sure I'll feel better after a while." I kissed him on the cheek and went back inside.

The kitchen was mercifully empty, so I went upstairs and found the master bedroom, which had a dark red accent wall that served as a back drop for the king-sized bed. I closed the door, kicked off my shoes and laid down on the bed. It was incredibly comfortable, and within minutes, my faux-nap turned into a real one.


	12. You're Making Me High

I opened my eyes at the sound of someone saying my name. I blinked a couple of times and realized that Ranger was sitting on the edge of the bed.

"How long have I been asleep?" I asked, sitting up and stretching.

"About two hours. They are getting ready to serve dinner. How's your head?"

"Wh—oh, it's better," I said, forgetting momentarily about the excuse I'd used earlier. It also brought back the reminder of why I'd come upstairs.

Ranger nodded slowly. "Are you going to tell me the real reason you came up here?"

"My headache," I replied, climbing off the bed and straightening out the wrinkles in my dress. "It's better now."

"So it wasn't about what Angela said?"

"What did Angela say?" I asked innocently.

"You're an awful liar, babe." Ranger said, standing up and walking around the bed towards me. "My grandmother told me that she thought you overheard a comment Angela made, and that it may be why you wanted to lie down. Do you want to talk to talk about it?"

I stood with my hands on my hips, looking around the room at everything but Ranger. I really didn't want to have this conversation with Ranger, but I was afraid that he wouldn't let it go. I hated feeling like a silly, emotional woman upset by another woman's comments. I'm Jersey Italian: I don't care what people say about me, but that standard seemed to go out the window when it came to my relationship with Ranger.

"Does the rest of your family feel the same way?"

"What way?"

"About what Angela said?"

"I don't know what Angela said, Grandma didn't give me the details, just that she thought you overheard it and might be upset."

So Ranger didn't know what was said, but now that he knew there was something, and that I was questioning the entire family's opinion of me, I knew he wouldn't let it go.

"Angela has read about me in the papers, and has a friend in the Trenton PD who knew about my relationship with Morelli and the rumors about my relationship with you in the past. She thinks your judgment has been screwed up since you left the Army and that you don't see me for the gold-digger that I am because I must give pretty good head." I spoke more rapidly towards the end of my epithet, holding my breath afterwards as though I were waiting for a bomb to go off.

Ranger was silent for a full minute-and-a-half, holding my gaze while keeping his neutral expression in place. Just when I was about to say something, he pulled me into his arms.

"I'm sorry," he said, kissing the top of my head. "I'll talk to Angela. Let's go eat."

I was surprised by the simplicity of his statement, and the sudden change of topic. He'd spent time just staring at me in the way he did when he was really pissed off about something, but then hurried me off to eat. Ranger moved in mysterious ways, and I knew I'd never completely understand them all. Hell, I didn't think I really knew any of them.

We walked downstairs and out to the backyard. The crowd looked like it had thinned out some, but there were still at least seventy people sitting at the tables around the yard. Dishes were placed in the middle of the tables, and everyone was eating family style. Ranger guided us towards a table where Silvia, Michael, Celia and Andres were already seated and serving themselves.

"Feeling better?" Celia asked me as I sat down.

I nodded and reached out for the bread basket. I looked around surreptitiously while I nibbled on a roll, spotting Angela at the next table. She gave me a shitty look before becoming engrossed in her plate. As I was dishing some sort of chicken on to my plate, I realized that what had bothered me about Angela was the reminder of Joyce Barnhardt. It wasn't the physical appearance, but the attitude. She thought me beneath her, and I imagined she was the type of woman to walk over whomever necessary to get what she wanted. I knew I didn't need to worry about her trying to steal Ranger the way Joyce stole Dickie. It wasn't just because they were family, but because I knew Ranger would never cheat with anyone. Angela could still be a thorn in my side, and cause waves with the family with her gold-digger remarks and discussion of my past with Morelli. I really wanted to do was go over to her table, drag her behind the garage by her hair and kick her in the head. If I actually tried to do that, it would simply result in a bitchy cat fight in the grass and we'd likely knock a table of food on top of us. What I was going to do was let Ranger talk to her the way he said he would.

But I'd try to eavesdrop if I could.

Dinner at our table felt strained, as Silvia and Michael weren't speaking directly to one another, and we all knew the reason why. Ranger, who had been more relaxed and talkative around his family the night before, was his normal silent self as we ate. Celia kept the conversations going, prompting us to respond as she deemed appropriate. I really liked Celia, and was convinced that if they wanted to, she and Ranger could rule the world. Andres was a good-natured man who clearly adored Celia, and seemed to enjoy her strong will. He had a laugh that carried around the yard, especially when he informed me that Celia would be turning thirty-nine in January, but that he wouldn't be thirty-nine until May, and she had glared at him in a way that made me surprised he didn't run for his life.

After dinner, Lola came over to me and asked if she could speak to me privately. I instantly felt nauseous, wondering if Angela's remarks had made their way back to Lola, and if she was going to grill me on whether I was money-hungry tramp who was preying on her baby boy or a two-timing floozy.

"Thank you for coming up this weekend with Carlos," she said. "I have to tell you that I haven't seen Carlos this happy in a long time —if ever, really. He's always kept his emotions pretty close to his chest, but I can see the difference in him. He's relaxed, he smiles more and when he looks at you, it leaves no doubt that he would walk through fire for you. I certainly hope this relationship lasts a lifetime, because you both deserve it."

My heart fluttered a little when Lola talked about how she could tell Ranger was happy with me. He kept himself so closed off that it was hard to tell what he was often thinking. I knew that he wouldn't be with me if he wasn't happy, but it was nice to know that it was noticed by others.

I hugged Lola and looked around for Ranger, who was no longer sitting at our table. A glance at the table next to it also told me that Angela was missing, and I couldn't help but wonder if they were in the same place. I headed back towards the house and through the kitchen, which was empty. I walked down the hall towards the bathroom, but stopped when I heard voices from the den a few doors down.

"—don't know anything about her," Ranger was saying in his calm, but 'I'm-really-pissed-off' tone of voice. "What do you think you're going to accomplish by trying to trash her?"

"You can't honestly believe she's not after you for your money, Carlos," Angela replied. I peeked around the corner and saw that Ranger and Angela were standing in front of the fire place on the far side of the room.

"Angela, she's known me since before I had the business, and I'm the one who pursued her, not the other way around. I don't have to justify my choice of partner to anyone, especially to someone who isn't even an actual member of this family, and I'm not going to let you try to sully the family's opinion of her with your nonsense. What do you get out of this anyway?"

I saw Angela take a step closer to Ranger and put a hand on his arm. "That's just it. I'm not actually family, and I've been hoping you'd notice me for years—," She stopped talking when Ranger removed her hand from his arm.

"Angela, you may not be a legal or blood relative, but your mother is married to my uncle, and that's close enough to family to make things horribly awkward. There's also the fact that I don't like you in any way, let alone a romantic way, so you can get that insane notion out of your head."

Angela looked dejected as she started towards the door, giving me just enough time to slip in the bathroom and shut the door quietly before she walked past. I locked the door and turned on the light so that I could wash my hands. I thought about Angela wanting to be with Ranger and wrinkled my nose in disgust. He was right; even though she wasn't any actual relation, the fact that their relations were married was enough to make her pursuit of him seem gross. Uncle Humberto was beginning to seem normal compared to Angela. I thought the amount of oddballs seemed disproportionately high for Ranger's family, but considering how big the family was, it was likely a normal amount. After all, I had Grandma Mazur, Mary Alice and Albert Kloughn in my immediate family, which was much smaller than Ranger's.

When I walked out of the bathroom, Ranger was leaning against the opposite wall with his arms crossed across his chest.

"I was coming to look for you," I told him.

"I was having a heart-to-heart with Angela," Ranger told me, grabbing my hand and pulling me into him.

"Did that go well?"

"She's nuts, but I think she got the message," Ranger told me, bending down to kiss me. The kiss was intimate and sensual, and Ranger wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me very close to his body.

"Someone may walk in and see us," I told him, my lips brushing up against his as I spoke.

"Let them."

Ranger spun me around and pinned me up against the wall, deepening the kiss. We'd been that way for a minute or so when a wolf-whistle rang out. We broke apart to find Emilio and Lucy standing at the end of the hall.

"At least have the decency to get a room, Carlos," Emilio said, a big smile on his face. "Remember when we accidentally walked in on Silvia and Michael at Mom and Dad's right after they got engaged?"

Ranger shook his head. "I'm trained to compartmentalize situations, but I still can't manage to get that sight out of my head without feeling nauseous."

Lucy gave me a wink and fanned herself. "That was hot," she whispered as she walked past me. "I can't imagine what happens when you two are actually naked. It's a wonder you don't spontaneously combust or something."

I snorted. "I often wonder the same thing."

Ranger and I ended up leaving the party about thirty minutes later, having said our good-byes to the immediate family. We were driving back to Trenton when Tank called to say an account had experienced a break-in while the family was at a wedding , and that a substantial amount of jewelry was stolen. Ranger had dropped me off at my house and gone on to the account's home to inspect the situation.

I told Rex hello and gave him some food and fresh water. I checked my mail and started unpacking my clothes as I assessed the visit to Newark as a whole. Overall, it had been a good visit, even though Angela and Juan made efforts to make it uncomfortable. I wouldn't be likely to see either of them much in the future, so I felt that my experience with Ranger's immediate family was all that mattered in the end.

I called my mother to let her know that I was home, and that we had a good visit with Ranger's family. She pressed me for details about his family. and we ended up talking on the phone for over half an hour, which was long for us. I changed into my pajamas, found reruns of _Will & Grace_ on television and settled in for the night. Ranger hadn't said if he was coming back to my place, or going back to Rangeman, but I figured he would go home, since we'd just spent the weekend together.

In the episode I was watching, Grace had given Will a gift certificate to a psychic for this birthday, which got me to thinking about Ranger's birthday. It was less than a month away, and I had no idea what I should give him. What do you get the man who has, or can have, everything, but wants nothing? I'd never gotten him anything for his past birthdays, but then we also hadn't been a couple during them.

I kept debating the issue over the next three weeks while I subtly tried to get information out of Ranger about something he would like. I knew he had plenty of watches and clothes, he didn't need cologne because he used the Bulgari shower gel that lingered on his body all day, and he wouldn't want any knick-knacks or movies. I finally decided on doing something sexy for him, not that our sex life needed spicing up, but something different.

Ranger was always so attentive to my needs in bed that I really never had an opportunity to repay him. My mind went back to Angela's accusation that I gave good head, and was stunned to realize that was one thing I had never done with Ranger. Most men— every man I'd ever been with at any rate— seemed to expect that in the lead up to sex, but Ranger and I had moved from some kissing and mild groping into full-on, hot-as-hell sex. This led me to further think about the time when I had an FTA that worked in a sex toy store, and I had brought home oils and a dildo while Ranger had been staying with me. He had liked the oil, so I decided to work it into my plan. I made a mental note to stop for some oil and sexy lingerie, in black of course, to give Ranger a night of repaying him for the hottest sex I've ever known. I knew it wouldn't even come close to how satisfying Ranger was, but I wanted to give it an effort nonetheless.

Ranger's birthday fell on a Sunday, so I decided to give him his present on Saturday night. I informed him of when I intended to celebrate his birthday, and told him that he needed to be off-line from work that night.

"All night?" he had asked, and when I said yes, he gave me a wide smile.

"I don't typically celebrate my birthday, but I'm looking forward to it this year."

I knew Ranger could find anything he wanted in my house, considering he knew the security code and had keys, so I waited until eight hours or so before he would be at my house to go to the Pleasure Treasures store. I found the cherry oil and some lingerie that was a tiny black thong and a sexy mesh and lace camisole that went down to my hips with a slit up the middle that stopped just above my navel. I bought a CD of mood music and candles, and bundled it all up for the trip back to the house, eager for my plan to begin. Ranger was due home at seven, and I intended to be waiting for him.

It was two minutes to seven, and I was pacing the kitchen floor in my sexy lingerie and black do-me heels. I had closed all of the curtains in the house, locked the front door and kept peeking out the kitchen curtains to see if Ranger had pulled into the drive. At seven on the dot, Ranger's Turbo pulled in behind my garage. I checked my hair in the reflection from the microwave, adjusted my lingerie and waited until I heard Ranger's feet on the back step before I opened the door. I rested one hand on the door knob and the other on my hip, hoping my pose was sexy. Ranger looked surprised for a minute when the door opened, then his eyebrows shot up and his lips parted a little. He ran his eyes down the length of my body and back up again before a wide smile came across his face.

"Babe," he said and his voice slightly breathless and full of lust.

I looked him up and down, noticing that the crotch of his cargo pants was starting to look tight.

"Turn off your cell phone," I demanded. Ranger pulled it out of his pocket and hit the power button without taking his eyes off me.

I took his hand and pulled him inside, shutting and locking the door behind us. I proceeded to lead him through the kitchen and living room and upstairs. My heart was racing with the excitement of what was about to come, and I had butterflies in my stomach with the anticipation of Ranger enjoying what I had planned for him.

Once we were inside the bedroom, the only light was from the candles I had burning around the room. I hit the play button on my computer and the CD I bought at Pleasure Treasures sounded out with a song by Toni Braxton. I turned around and faced Ranger, working to remove the utility belt from around his waist. I put it on the bedside table before reaching up to kiss him. He put a hand on the small of my back and one in my hair as he returned the kiss, deepening it by pulling me closer to him.

I broke the kiss after a minute, pulling his shirt over his head and guiding him towards the bed. Ranger kicked off his boots as he sat down. I straddled his lap and resumed our kiss, pressing my breasts against his chest, the thin fabric between us making me gasp slightly as it tickled my nipples. Ranger started running his hands up my body, massaging my ass and then my breasts as he grounded himself against me. Again I pulled back and motioned for him to lie down on the bed with his head at the top of the bed. Once he was in position, I started unbuttoning and unzipping his pants, pulling them down his hips, exposing his black boxer briefs. I pulled off his pants and socks and threw them on the floor. I glanced over at the bedside table where I had the Lick It and Love It oil, and my eyes were drawn to the handcuffs on Ranger's utility belt. I'd used cuffs in the bedroom with Morelli before, though I'd been the one cuffed. I smiled slightly and crawled up to Ranger, kissing him.

"How much do you trust me?" I asked him, my lips brushing against his as I spoke.

"With my life, babe," he said.

I smiled and bit my bottom lip as I reached over and took the cuffs off the belt. I pulled them taut with my thumbs and raised an eyebrow, seeking his approval. After all, he'd just told me he trusted me with his life.

"Me?" he asked, eyeing the cuffs. I nodded, not saying a word.

The sigh that escaped Ranger was all the approval I needed.

I cuffed his left wrist and pulled it above his head, lacing the cuffs around one of the metal posts on my headboard. I grabbed his other wrist and put it in the other cuff, leaving Ranger helpless with his arms above his head.

He smiled and shook his head, as though he couldn't quite believe what was happening. I reached over for the oil and poured some into my hand. I rubbed my hands together before running them over his chest, circling his nipples. After a few seconds, Ranger sucked in a breath as the oil started to heat up. I poured more oil into my hands and massaged a line down his chest and stomach to the top of his boxers. I started licking and kissing a path down Ranger's neck to his chest, teasing each of his nipples with my tongue, liking the way the cherry mingled with the taste of his skin. I proceeded down his hard stomach, blowing briefly into his navel, which made him squirm and take several deep breaths.

I finally pulled off his underwear, releasing a very desperate erection. I poured a little more oil into my right hand, and ran it up the length of his penis. Ranger actually groaned, something uncommon for him. He would moan slightly during sex, usually during orgasm, but it was restrained, just like the rest of his emotions. I could tell he was losing some of his famous self-control at my actions, and when I took him in my mouth, he groaned even louder, his body wiggling and I heard him pull at the handcuffs, wanting to touch me. I gripped his thighs as I moved my mouth slowly up and down, but keeping my eyes on him. He had closed his eyes, lost in the sensation of my tongue and teeth lightly grazing him. I got distracted and went too far, nearly gagging myself. I moved one hand to wrap around the base of his penis to give myself a buffer. Not much ruins a mood like puking on a guy. After a couple of minutes, I felt Ranger's body start to spasm and he cried out "Stephanie" as he came, the sound of metal clanking together telling me that he was pulling against the cuffs. His hips continued to buck a couple of times while I swallowed, the cherry oil helping to mask some of the unpleasant taste, and his breathing came out in ragged gasps.

I sat up and looked at Ranger, who has his eyes open and was looking at me with a mixture of desire and wonder. I reached over to the bedside table and found the key to the handcuffs and released Ranger's hands. He immediately put his hands on the sides of my face and pulled me down to kiss him.

"Did you enjoy that?" I asked as we broke apart, my own voice raspy with desire.

Ranger's eyes were still dilated black from being so aroused. "Babe, that was about the sexiest thing I've ever experienced."

He ran his hands up my chest, finding the ties that held the little camisole together. He pulled the ties and pushed the straps down my arm.

"Happy Birthday, Ranger," I told him, as his nimble fingers proceeded to get rid of my little lace thong.


	13. Here Without You

By November, Ranger and I had fallen into a comfortable routine. He would spend two or three nights a week at my house, and I would spend a night or two at Rangeman each month. Wednesday date nights usually meant staying in with take-out, though on occasion we would go out to dinner or a movie. For my birthday in October, Ranger had given me a silver Rolex watch with diamonds around the face. The watch also doubled as a GPS and panic button, though you'd never know it to look at it. The watch was a lot like Ranger: pretty and practical.

Two weeks before Thanksgiving, Ranger informed me that he would be out of the country for a week or so on a security detail, but told me that he would be back in time for Thanksgiving. We'd been invited to dinner with my family on Thanksgiving Day, and dinner with his family the following day. I had been assured that dinner would only be his parents, Grandma Rosa, siblings and their families, so I could breathe a little easier.

During the week Ranger was out of town, there were an astronomical number of skips. Lula had actually worked with me late into a Saturday and most of the day on Sunday as we brought in skip after skip. We'd captured twenty and nine had escaped, but we worked hard to hunt them down. I had a black eye from Cameron Tonks, who had elbowed me in the face as he struggled out of my grip on his dilapidated front porch.

On the day Ranger was due to come home, Lula and I were hanging out in the No Man's Land section of Stark Street, watching an abandoned building where Tommy Harlow was rumored to be hiding.

"How much longer are we gonna sit here and wait on him to come out before we kick down the door and go get him?" Lula asked after we'd been sitting in the Cayenne for a little over an hour.

"We never kick down doors. Neither of us is that strong. Besides, we don't know who else is in that building, and I'm not interested in surprise meetings with drugged-out strangers," I told her. "He'll come out eventually."

But when Harlow hadn't made an appearance after another hour, I gave it up as a bad job and we moved the car to a nearby alley. I crossed my fingers and sent up a quick prayer that God or Rangeman wouldn't let my Cayenne get stolen. Lula and I got out of the car and started getting ready for the confrontation. I even got out the Glock that was in the compartment under the driver's seat and put it in my waist band, while my pepper spray was in my front pocket and my cuffs and stun gun were in the back pockets.

"You ready?" Lula asked, slinging her purse over her shoulder while holding her Glock in the other hand.

"Yep," I said. "Let's go get him."

Ten minutes later found us dragging Harlow out of the building and stuffing him into the backseat of the Cayenne. He had been on the second floor of the building and so strung out on whatever drug he had recently used that he hadn't even stirred when Lula put a bullet into the ceiling. We had checked for a pulse and thankfully found one. It had been about the most uneventful capture we'd had in a month, and I had been thankful. Ranger was due home in a few hours and I didn't want to see him for the first time in a week smelling like a dumpster or have any injuries that might have stood in the way of my fun.

When Ranger hadn't showed up at my house by nine that evening, I called his cell phone and it automatically went to voicemail. I called Rangeman, but was told Ranger hadn't checked in yet. I remembered that his exact words had been 'a week or so', which I interpreted to mean that he could be gone a few more days and that I'd been hasty in assuming he'd be home after a week.

I was anxious for Ranger to get back home as I finished out the work week with eight more captures.

"Vinnie's over the moon," Connie replied when I gave her the last of the body receipts. "He's been saying that he takes back all of the bad things he's ever said about you."

I rolled my eyes. "Sure, until I miss out on the next skip, then I'll be back to incompetent and bearing the future of the bond's office on my shoulders."

Lula emerged from the bathroom, having reapplied her lipstick and straightened her fuchsia wig.

"I think we need to go out tonight. I'm in the mood for strawberry daiquiris and some naked men," Lula commented, pulling her cell phone out of her purse. "Isn't there a new male revue club over in Atlantic City?"

"I'm really tired tonight," I told Lula. "Maybe we can do it next weekend."

"Next weekend will be Thanksgiving weekend. Traffic will be a nightmare," Connie replied.

I really didn't feel like going to a male revue. I wanted to go home and call Tank to figure out when Ranger would be coming home. It had been ten days since he left and I hadn't heard a word about when he'd be back. I was telling myself not to worry, but it wasn't working for me. With promises to go out after the holidays, I left the bond's office and decided to drive over to Rangeman. When Ranger was out of town, Tank inhabited his office as acting-boss.

I fobbed my way into the garage and went up to the fifth floor of Rangeman. As I walked through the control room, I noticed the room felt slightly more tense than usual. I wasn't sure if it was a sign of something having gone wrong, or merely discomfort at my being there. Some of the guys were a little uncomfortable around me, fearing that if they looked at me the wrong way Ranger might kill them.

I found Tank sitting at Ranger's desk, typing into the computer.

"Hey," I said, walking into the office. "I just wanted to see if there was any word on when Ranger is supposed to be back."

Tank tore his gaze away from the computer. "No, there isn't. I've been trying to get some details from the government, but they've shut me down. I'm talking to some sources of mine in the area to see if they can give me any information."

I immediately felt my stomach become uneasy. "Do you think something's wrong?" I asked, hoping his response would alleviate my worry.

Tank's eye flicked over to his computer for a minute. "The only time Ranger doesn't check in with me is when he's on a deep cover assignment, and he hasn't had one of those in a couple of years. This was a simple protection detail, but I haven't heard from him since the second day. And now with the contact at the State Department giving me the run-around, I'm starting to suspect something's up."

Not what I wanted to hear.

I took deep breath and blew it out, which jostled a stray curl that had fallen along my face. I took a moment to steady myself before I spoke. I hoped my voice would come out even and strong, not breaking with fear and the threat of tears.

"Is there anything I can do?" I managed to say, with my voice only squeaking on the last word.

Tank shook his head. "I'll call you when I know something."

I barely noticed as I retraced my steps back to the parking garage. I climbed back in the Cayenne and rested my head against the steering wheel, biting my lip in an effort not to burst into tears. The fact that Ranger had been incommunicado for eight days and counting made me fear the worst, especially when Tank was starting to worry. I knew Ranger was able to take care of himself in intense and dangerous situations, but it didn't keep me from worrying about him, especially when I didn't even know what country he was in. After a few tears had leaked out of my eyes and I'd taken several shaky breaths, I put the key in the ignition and pulled out of the garage, telling myself I wasn't going to worry about Ranger until I was told there was a reason to worry. I knew I'd fail at that effort, but at least I could justify that I'd tried to talk myself into it.

I spent Friday evening sitting in front of the television, trying not to think about Ranger but found that the only thing I could think about was Ranger. There was a knot in the pit of my stomach and I'd chewed my fingernails down to nubs. I wasn't certain, but I felt that not knowing anything was worse than knowing that Ranger was in a bad situation, though I could be proved wrong once I learned what was wrong. I had no chance of sleeping that night, and spent it tossing and turning while I watched the time on my alarm clock change minute by minute and inhaled the smell of Ranger's body wash on his pillow. By eight the next morning, I was showered, dressed and pacing my kitchen with my phone in my hands, debating whether or not to bother Tank that early in the morning. I had let myself worry so much overnight about Ranger's condition that I was nearly hysterical. I was about to start dialing Tank's number when my phone rang. The readout told me it was Tank's cell phone.

"What's wrong? What did you find out?" I asked as soon as I connected to the call.

"He was doing protection detail for someone in the State Department when their car was ambushed and they were captured by local rebels. Sounds like it happened not long after he checked in with me," Tank informed me, causing my heart to leap into my throat.

"Are—What—Who—," I couldn't seem to form a coherent sentence after my night of anxiety and the news that Ranger was kidnapped.

"The government is attempting to negotiate with them to get Ranger and the State guy back. Apparently we have a couple of their people in one of those secret CIA prisons in other countries that no one is supposed to know about, and they want to do a prisoner exchange."

"Is he okay?" I finally managed to articulate a sentence, albeit a short one.

"My source didn't know that. He's been getting information from one of his sources who is guarding Ranger and the other guy. I just know he said that they thought they would have what they wanted in the next few days," Tank replied.

My mind thought ahead to the next few days. We were due for Thanksgiving dinner with our families in a few days. Would he be back in time?

I nearly smacked myself for being so stupid and thinking about whether he'd be home in time for our first Thanksgiving as a couple. I needed to be concerned with whether he was going to come home at all. Damn, I needed to get some sleep.

"Does his family know? They are expecting us this week for the holiday," I told Tank, knowing that I would never be able to make the call to the Manosos that Ranger had been kidnapped in another country.

"I'll call his mother. We've had this protocol set up for years, in case his family is expecting him back for some reason and he can't be there. I'll just tell them I've been told his trip is extended and that he may not be back for Thanksgiving."

I disconnected with Tank a minute later, feeling numb and confused. I was almost trembling from the lack of sleep and stress over Ranger. I went back upstairs to the medicine cabinet and found some night time pain reliever. I popped two pills and went back into my bedroom and crawled into bed. Once I was under the covers and inhaling Ranger's scent once more, I let myself cry until I fell asleep.

Over the next several days, I did my best to not appear outwardly upset, in spite of the tightness that stayed in my chest. I had explained away Ranger's absence with the same line as Tank used on his family: his job had been extended and he wasn't sure when he would be back. My mother was disappointed that he wouldn't be home for Thanksgiving, blaming the government for overworking people even during the holidays. Lola Manoso had called me the day before Thanksgiving to tell me that even if Ranger didn't make it home in time, I was still welcome to come to dinner with them. I knew there was no way I could sit through dinner with the family, acting like nothing was wrong. I had thanked Lola, but told her that since Ranger hadn't returned, I had offered to babysit my nieces so that my sister could go Black Friday shopping.

I sat through Thanksgiving dinner with my family with a heavy heart, listening to my nieces bicker and talk about the silly things they did at school. Valerie attempted to grill me on Ranger and when we would get married, but I had shut her down immediately, giving her the same lecture I'd given my mother. I had just started helping my mother with dishes when I heard my cell phone ring.

"I just got the word that Ranger and the State Department employee have been released. Ranger should be home either Saturday or Sunday," Tank told me, almost making me collapse in relief.

"Is he okay? Why is it taking so long for him to get back home?" I asked, putting my hand over my heart, which was racing with excitement

"He's walking, I know that much. And he will have to be questioned about who the people that had him were working for, if they were able to get any confidential information out of him or the other guy, and stuff like that."

"You'll let me know as soon as he's back, right?" I asked, knowing I wanted to see him as soon as I could.

"Yep."

I spent the next two days eagerly awaiting a phone call from Tank or Ranger, but hadn't heard a word from either of them. When I opened my eyes on Sunday morning at the sound of my alarm, I found Ranger sitting on the bed next to me.

I gasped in surprise when I saw him. He had bruises and cuts on his face and dark circles under his eyes. He had lost weight and in general looked like he had been lost in the woods without supplies for a few days.

"Hey," I said, crawling over to him and hugging him. I felt his arms encircle my waist

"Hey," he replied, pressing a kiss into my hair.

After a minute, I pulled back and gave him a kiss, which he returned, though without his usual enthusiasm. I looked him over, running my finger along some of the areas on his face.

"How are you feeling? You look pretty banged up."

Ranger's expression remained neutral. "I'm feeling better than I did a few days ago, but it's nothing I can't handle."

I decided not to push the issue at that moment, since he had just gotten home, but I knew I would want to hear about what had happened to him.

"Right now, I just want to sleep," he continued, kicking off his shoes and pushing me back down in the bed. "You can go to Mass another time."

We stayed in bed for the rest of the morning, his arms wrapped around me. I dozed off and on while listening to his deep breathing as he slept. By eleven, I needed to answer the call of nature and get some coffee, so I quietly and gently extricated myself from his grasp and took care of business. I padded downstairs, started the coffee pot and decided pancakes sounded like a good breakfast. I wasn't sure if Ranger would be awake anytime soon, but I made extra pancakes just in case. I was just sitting down to smother my pancakes in butter and syrup when I heard him on the stairs.

"There's coffee and pancakes on the counter," I told him. "But I can make something else if you want."

Ranger shook his head and grabbed a mug for coffee. He brought his cup and plate of pancakes to the table and sat next to me, putting butter on his pancakes, but skipping the syrup.

We ate in silence and I tried to sneak a peek at him every so often, hoping I wasn't being obvious. I was burning with questions about where he had been and what he had been through, but fought to restrain myself. He had only been home for a few hours and I didn't want to make him relive the experience too soon.

After I finished my pancakes, I sat back in my chair and put a hand on Ranger's back and started rubbing circles. I felt him tense under my hand as I ran it over a spot where there felt to be a bandage under his shirt.

"Sorry," I muttered, taking my hand away.

I didn't know if he had any other injuries and didn't want to cause him anymore pain. He didn't say anything, but kept eating with a vigor I wasn't used to seeing out of him. Coupled with the noticeable weight loss, I came to the conclusion that what he experienced while captured included starvation.

Once he finished, he sat back in the chair and looked over at me. He didn't say anything, but the intensity of his gaze made me feel as though I were being x-rayed.

"Do you want to talk?" I asked tentatively. Ranger shook his head.

"No. You don't need to know about it."

Something in his words stung me. He didn't want to share what he had been through with me, despite the fact that it seemed to have been terrible, based on his physical appearance. God only knew what may have happened to him psychologically. The way he said it had made me feel like a child being told by her father that she was too little to understand something complex. I bit my tongue—literally— and reminded myself not to get offended. He just got home. Give him some space.

Ranger stood and carried our plates to the sink, rinsing and putting them in the dishwasher. I put away the condiments and stood next to him at the sink.

"What can I do?" I asked, feeling a bit helpless.

Ranger put the last piece of silverware in the dishwasher and shut it, stopping to dry his hands on a towel before answering my question.

"Kiss me," he said simply, pulling me gently into him and pressing his lips to mine. I returned the kiss, putting my hands on his sides, which caused him to wince.

"Broken ribs," he reported before trying to kiss me again. I pulled back, not feeling particularly romantic at the moment.

"What injuries do you have? I can see the cuts and bruises to your face and I felt a bandage on your back, and now you tell me you have broken ribs. Anything else?"

"Nothing major. Just a lot of cuts, scrapes and bruises," he replied.

I looked at him, wanting to argue, but the look on his face stopped me. He was determined to not discuss what happened at the moment, but I knew I wouldn't be able to let it go when it was something so big.

The rest of the day was spent lying around watching television. Ranger didn't speak unless spoken to, and his responses were short—only speaking in sentences if absolutely necessary. The rest of the time he seemed to be in a daze, only vaguely aware of his surroundings. The atmosphere of the room was awkward and tense. I wasn't sure what to expect out of Ranger and how I should act. Oddly enough, I didn't feel that I could act happy to see him, as though I were expected to remain somber. It felt like I had just attended a young person's funeral, and now was at the wake, but couldn't look too happy out of respect for the dead.

I ordered Chinese for dinner and we ate in silence, after which Ranger went upstairs and I heard the shower start running. I contemplated joining him, but then thought better of it. Outside of a couple of brief kisses, Ranger had not initiated any sexual or physical contact. He had put his arm around me while we sat on the couch, but I couldn't cuddle up against him too much without hurting his ribs.

We were in bed by nine that night, having nothing to talk about and no physical activity to distract us. I knew with his broken ribs that he may not feel like having sex, but even just a few kisses and smutty innuendos would have appreciated. Twenty-four hours prior, I had thought that when Ranger came home, I would be incredibly happy and we wouldn't be likely to leave the bed for two days. The harsh reality was that I felt like someone else had come back to me. Ranger's emotional detachment seemed more exaggerated than I had ever seen it. In the few months we had been a couple, I'd seen him open up to me more than I thought possible. It now felt like we had made a major regression.

I had fallen asleep at some point, but was startled awake when I felt Ranger move suddenly. I sat up in bed and saw that he was sitting up, alert and scanning the room. I noticed his skin was glistening with sweat and he was breathing heavily.

"Ranger? What's wrong?"

When I spoke, Ranger's gaze rested on me. He didn't speak, but seemed to be processing my presence. After a minute, he shook his head and went to get out of bed.

"Nothing. Go back to sleep," he said as he walked out of the bedroom. I heard him head downstairs and ran after him. By the time I caught up to him, he was in the kitchen and pulling a beer out of the fridge.

"What happened? Did you have a nightmare?" I asked, watching him open the beer and start drinking it as he leaned against the counter. He was clad only in black sweat pants, which allowed me to see more bruises and cuts in various stages of healing on his chest and abdomen.

"Don't worry about it. Go back to bed."

I put my hands on my hips and stood my ground. "No way. Don't tell me not to worry about it. I cannot stop worrying about it because you are being so closed off and strange. Something major happened to you and you won't open up to me. I think you need to talk about this. You need to tell me what happened so I can try to help you."

The expression on Ranger's face changed into the one I recognized as his deadly-calm-I'm-really-pissed-off look. He didn't move a muscle, except to take a long drag from his beer. He held my gaze, trying to wear me down into backing off and going to bed, but I wasn't backing down. After a couple of minutes, in which time he finished the beer, Ranger finally spoke.

"Stephanie, when we first got together, I told you there were things I couldn't talk about with you, and you agreed not to push me on those situations. This is one of them."

"Bullshit," I said. "I don't believe you can't tell me about it. You just don't want to, but I'm not letting you get away with it. You need to tell me. It's clearly eating you up inside. Don't you think I've heard and experienced enough bad shit to be able to handle what you went through? It's worse on me watching you suffer in silence like this."

Ranger took a couple of steps and set the beer bottle on the island between us and resting his hands on the edge.

"I'm not talking about it Stephanie. That's final. Don't push me on it."

"I will continue to push you until you op—,"

"GODDAMN IT, STEPHANIE!"

My words were cut off by Ranger throwing the beer bottle against the refrigerator, the glass shards flying everywhere, though luckily not hitting either of us. The look on Ranger's face was utterly terrifying. I felt my throat close up and I backed away from the island and towards the living room. I knew I was pushing him, and I expected him to get angry, but I never realized how frightening I would find his raw anger. I had never heard Ranger speak with such anger or volume. He never yelled. His version of yelling had always consisted of a deadly-calm, which I had thought much worse than yelling. I had been wrong.

For the first time since I had met him, I was truly afraid of Ranger.

It felt like hours ticked by as we stood looking at each other; Ranger's breathing was deep and slow while I was nearly hyperventilating. After some indeterminable amount of time, Ranger spoke, his features and voice resuming their customary neutrality.

"Go back to bed, Stephanie. I'll clean this up."

I didn't argue that time, but turned heel and hurried back upstairs. I went into the bathroom and checked out my reflection in the mirror. Ignoring my bed-hair-from-hell, I saw that I was paler than usual and my eyes were bright with tears. I gave myself a couple of minutes to regroup before I left the bathroom and went back to bed. I could hear the sound of glass being dumped into the trash and I lay in bed waiting for Ranger to come back up, wondering if I should apologize for pushing him. He was right about the agreement I had made with him about not pushing him to talk about things, but I knew something had to give. We couldn't go on living like this for more than a couple of days before I would lose my mind, and God only knows what might happen to him.

I never heard Ranger come back to bed, and when my alarm sounded at seven the next morning, I was surprised to realize I had been able to go back to sleep. I rolled over, but found Ranger's side of the bed empty. I went downstairs to see if Ranger was in the kitchen or living room, but found it empty. A peek out my kitchen window showed his car wasn't parked behind my garage. Thinking he may have felt like going back to Rangeman, I decided to shower and get ready for the day before calling him to see how he was doing. I was starting to feel bad about pushing him so much, and didn't blame him for his reaction, but I knew he couldn't always keep such things bottled up inside him. No one could live like that, and no should have to do it. He had me to talk to, and I could be trusted with his secrets. Maybe he needed to be reminded of that.

When I got out of the shower, I realized that something felt off in the bathroom. I couldn't place the issue, but I felt like something was missing. Unable to figure out what was up, I wrapped a towel around my body and went into the bedroom and opened my closet. I had been staring at my clothes for a minute or so before realizing there was an issue in my closet as well.

Ranger's clothes were gone.

He had started keeping some clothes and toiletries at my house for the nights when he slept over, so I had become used to their presence. I went to my dresser where he kept socks and underwear and found it empty as well. It dawned on me that what had been missing in the bathroom had been his razor, toothbrush and shower gel.

I sat down on the bed and found that the knot that had lived in my stomach while Ranger was MIA had returned. Only this time, it was probably my fault the knot was there. I hated myself for pushing him to the point that he felt the need to leave. The fact that he took his clothes and toiletries made me worried that he wasn't coming back. I hadn't considered that pushing him when he told me not to would be a relationship deal-breaker.

Don't panic, Steph. J ust call him, I told myself.

I grabbed my cell phone and called his phone. It immediately went to voicemail. I didn't bother to leave a message, but hung up and called his apartment at Rangeman. It rang four times before someone picked up.

"Hello?" It wasn't Ranger, but Ella.

"Ella, it's Stephanie. Is Ranger there?"

"No, dear. I've been told he's out of town."

I felt bile rise up in my throat. "Do you know where he went? Or how long he'll be gone?"

"No, Stephanie. All I was told was that he left town. Didn't he tell you where he was going?"

Tears sprang to my eyes at her words.

"Can you connect me to Tank from that phone, or do I need to dial the office directly?" I asked, not answering her question.

"Sure, dear. I can do that for you. Hold on," Ella said, her tone a little too understanding.

I bit my lip as I waited for Tank to pick up the phone. The situation was looking to be worse than I expected. He'd not only left me, but left town. Was I really that bad? Did I really push him that far? Then my mind started to churn, and the question came to mind about whether Ranger may have left town to commit suicide. I was telling myself that he wouldn't do such a thing when Tank picked up.

"Where did he go? Why did he leave? When's he coming back?" I asked immediately, feeling a little bit of déjà vu from our conversation a week before.

Tank didn't speak for a minute. Probably figuring out what he would tell me.

"He didn't tell me where he was going or when he would be back. He just said he needed to decompress from his assignment, and he'd be offline."

"Can you please track his phone or the GPS in his car and tell me where he went? I just want to talk to him," I pleaded.

Tank made a noise. "He disables the GPS in his phone and car whenever he needs to completely get away. I doubt I could track him no matter how hard I tried. I think he just needs his space right now."

With those words, the tears started falling down my cheeks. I'd really fucked it up this time.


	14. How Can You Mend A Broken Heart

_**A/N: Warning: this chapter gets dark and into subjects that could make some people uncomfortable.**_

I made my way into the bond's office a little after eleven, having spent a couple of hours fretting over Ranger. I had put on full make-up and extra mascara to hide the pain I was feeling. I knew Connie and Lula would be asking if Ranger were back yet, and I was debating about what to tell them. I actually wanted to talk about the situation with Connie, but didn't want to divulge everything to Lula. She wasn't exactly known to be a pinnacle of discretion.

"Strolling in at eleven? Girl, you must have had some weekend. I can't believe you can walk that well," Lula announced as soon as I walked in the door.

Exactly why I didn't care to inform her that I ran my boyfriend off with my pushy ways.

"Not exactly," I said, taking a seat at the chair in front of Connie's desk and picking up the stack of skips waiting for me. "He came home yesterday morning, but then had to leave again last night. I'm not sure when he'll be back."

Lula had been filing her nails and stopped when I told her Ranger was gone again. "Say what? He's gone again? You sure he don't have another woman stashed away somewhere? Maybe he's one of those men who got more than one family and he has to split his time between them."

Connie rolled her eyes. "Did he say what he was doing? It seems odd that he'd get called away on another government job so quickly."

I gave Connie a significant look at Lula couldn't see. "I think it was more to do with Rangeman than his contract with the government."

Connie nodded that she understood. "I'm getting hungry. What do we want to do for lunch?"

After Lula stated she wanted chicken and volunteered to go to Cluck in a Bucket, I immediately began informing Connie about what had really happened with Ranger on his trip and about how I had pushed him for information and how he left in the night without a word.

"Maybe he's suffering Post Traumatic Stress or something. It sounds like whatever he went through was really bad," she suggested.

I pondered that for a moment. I hadn't considered something like PTSD before, but it might make sense. Connie and l looked up PTSD on Wikipedia and found that Ranger met all of the criteria for it, but because it had been less than a month since the traumatic event he experienced, it was called Acute Stress Disorder. As we read and discussed, I felt more and more like a complete shit for pushing him.

By the time Lula had returned with lunch, my guilt had reached an all-time high, but Connie and I had moved our topic of conversation on to a rumor about Peggy Jones, a girl that Connie and I had gone to school with, and the story that was going around the Burg that her husband had run off with the babysitter, Jolene. I managed to choke down a piece of chicken and a Coke before going out on my first skip of the day, which was a seventy-eight-year old man who had been arrested for stealing Metamucil from the drug store.

For the next two weeks, my daily schedule followed the same pattern. I woke up in the morning, tried to call Ranger, got his voicemail, cried in the shower, chased down idiots who failed to show for court, went home, tried to call Ranger, got his voicemail, cried some more, ate some dessert and went to bed, only to start the cycle over again the next morning.

I'd given the 'called away again' story to my family whenever my mother asked about him.

"How are you going to be able to get married and have children if he is gone all the time?" she had asked more than once.

After two weeks of not hearing from Ranger, I was starting to lose my mind. I had been laying awake at night trying to figure out where he might be. I knew he had a safe house in North Trenton, but I wasn't sure where it was and I didn't think he would be so obvious as to go somewhere he could be easily found by Tank. I'd called the Miami office and talked to Silvio, who told me Ranger wasn't down there either nor had there been any activity on any of his credit cards. I remembered Ranger had once told me he had a house in Maine, but that was another place I would surely never be able to find. He had offered that to me as a place to stay back in the days when I was first getting to know him, when the only address I had for him was a vacant lot. Even though I'd know him for four years now, I still felt like I barely knew him. Back then he had been incredibly mysterious: kicking ass and taking names by day and protecting Trenton from bad guys by night, holed away in the elusive Batcave—

Hold the phone, I thought as I sat bolt upright in bed. The Batcave—his apartment in Newark. It was a place that very few people knew about and the place he allowed himself to be at home. I couldn't believe I hadn't thought about it before, especially since I had just been there over the summer.

I leapt out of bed and started getting dressed in a pair of jeans, a blue sweater and boots. I looked out my bedroom window and saw that there was about two inches of snow on the ground already, and the forecast said to expect at least eighteen inches. We were having an early snow storm this year, but I wasn't going to let it stop me from trying to see Ranger. I grabbed a duffle bag and packed a few days' worth of clothes and toiletries. Even if Ranger wasn't at the apartment, I likely wouldn't be able to get back to Trenton for a day or two and would have to stay in a hotel. I went downstairs, grabbed a couple of bottles of water and provisional snacks in case I got stranded, threw a packet of hamster nuggets in my purse and picked up Rex's cage before I headed out the door. If all else failed and I had to stay in a hotel for a couple of days, I'd have to smuggle Rex in with me.

Glancing at the clock on my dashboard, I realized it was almost eleven and that I wouldn't be to Newark before midnight, likely much later considering the weather. I knew the apartment was number twelve-ten, but couldn't remember if there was a doorman or a buzzer to gain entrance to the building. As I drove, I began to realize that driving out of town in the middle of the night in the middle of a blizzard to a place where Ranger may not even be wasn't the smartest thing I'd ever done. I didn't even know where to park, as I hadn't paid attention to the passcode he entered for the underground garage. Once I reached the outskirts of Trenton, I started preparing myself for what I would tell Ranger if he was indeed at the apartment. My first goal was to apologize for pushing him and promise not to do it again. Then I'd ask him what I could do to help him get through this. I was becoming more and more aware that some serious shit had gone down while he was in captivity, more than just a few beatings and being starved. I had the feeling there had been some psychological torture involved…and possibly sexual assault. The idea had crossed my mind the night before as I lay awake trying to figure out what could disrupt the zen calm that was Ranger. He wasn't easily rattled by a physical beating or hurtful words and threats. The idea had made me sick —not towards Ranger, but over what he may have experienced and how he must be feeling. I remembered how awful I'd felt when York had gotten close to raping me over the summer and how disgusting I had felt after he put his hands on me. I don't know how awful I would have felt if he'd actually raped me.

It took me three hours to get to Newark, and once I finally made it to the city limits, I realized that I had no freaking clue how to find Ranger's building. I remembered the diner we'd gone to for breakfast had been on the same street as his building, but all I could remember of the diner's name was that it had the word "Diner" in it, so I fired up the GPS to help me find every restaurant with 'Diner' in the name, and I could check out the area to see if it looked familiar. That had taken me another two hours, but I eventually found the building. I drove around for fifteen minutes, trying to find a public lot to park in, but all of them were either full or were closed. Street parking was off-limits due to the expected snow fall and the need for the plow trucks to get through.

I took a chance and pulled up the keypad that opened the gate to the underground garage to Ranger's building. I remembered that he had punched in a four-digit number, so I tried his apartment number, but it didn't open the gate. I tried the month and day of his birthday, but that didn't do it either. I tried the year he was born, his birthdate, my birthdate, one-two-three-four, all zeroes and all nines, but none of those worked either. Finally, remembering what I had done for my security code, I entered the month and day that Ranger and I had met. As soon as I hit the last number, the gate had started opening. I drove into the garage and looked around for Ranger's car and also any spots that might be designated for guests. The guest spots were located on the street level of the parking garage, but I continued down another level until I found Ranger's Cayenne parked in a spot on the second level. Feeling good that I hadn't driven around for five hours in a snow storm for nothing, I turned around and went back to the guest spots and parked.

"I'm going up to talk to Ranger, but I'll come back down for you in a while," I told Rex, putting my duffle bag in the seat next to him.

I didn't want to appear presumptuous by lugging a bag and my hamster up to the apartment before I could ascertain whether he would even open the door for me, let alone talk to me or let me stay. I got on the elevator and hit the twelve button. The elevator didn't stop once between the parking garage and the twelfth floor, which made me remember that it was a nearly four-thirty in the morning and most people, including Ranger, would be asleep. When the elevator doors finally opened up, I stepped out into the quiet hallway and turned right towards Ranger's apartment. When I arrived outside of his door, I pressed my ear to it, listening for any sign that he might be awake. I couldn't hear any sounds coming from inside the apartment, so I knocked lightly on the door, trying not to wake up neighbors, but wanting to be sure Ranger heard me the first time. About thirty seconds after I knocked, I heard something behind the door, and assumed he was looking out the peephole. A second later, the locks tumbled and the door opened, revealing a bedraggled and surprised Ranger. He was wearing black sweat pants and no shirt, which revealed that many of the bruises I'd seen on his body two weeks before had faded and the cuts had mostly healed.

"Hey," I said quietly, holding his gaze as he continued to look down at me in mild wonder.

"Hey," he replied, rubbing his eyes. "How did you know I was here?"

I shrugged. "Lucky guess. It hit me a few hours ago that you might be here, so I took a chance and came up here."

"You drove up here in the middle of a snow storm on a chance?"

I nodded. "I wanted to see you and talk to you. I couldn't stand one more night worrying about you."

Ranger grabbed my hand and pulled me into the apartment and shut the door behind me. It was pitch black in the apartment, but he guided me through to the bedroom, where he turned on a bedside lamp and sat down on the edge of the bed. I took off my coat and sat down next to him.

"I'm really sorry about what happened," I began. "I was wrong to push you, and you were right to get upset with me. I promised you I wouldn't push you, but I did—,"

Ranger put a finger on my lips, signaling for me to be quiet. "Don't apologize, Stephanie. You did the right thing in this case. I needed to get help, but couldn't bring myself to accept that. It wasn't until you pushed me and I blew up at you and saw how much I scared you that I realized I couldn't handle this on my own this time."

I felt my jaw drop. That was not the response I had been expecting. I'd been prepared for Ranger to dismiss me, tell me I broken our agreement and that he couldn't be in a relationship with someone he couldn't trust to keep a promise.

"Have you been getting help?" I asked quietly, still in shock from the way the conversation had turned out.

Ranger nodded. "I've needed to meet with a psychologist to work through something that happened once before, so I've come up here to meet with him again. I've been seeing him three times a week for the past two weeks."

My eyebrows shot up at the pronouncement that Ranger had been seeing a psychologist for his issues. Part of me was happy that he was getting help with working through the trauma, but another part of me was slightly hurt that he didn't feel that I could give him similar comfort. I had a jumble of questions running through my head, but they varied so much and could lead us down several different paths of conversation, I had to consider which avenue I wanted to take.

"And it's helping you?" I finally asked, having decided to continue with Ranger's current emotional well-being as the topic.

Ranger considered me for a moment before nodding slowly. "Yes, talking to Dr. Rodriguez has helped me get my thoughts in order and helped me to get my feelings about what happened in check. He wants to keep seeing me next week to make sure everything stays on track, but told me after that we could switch to phone therapy as needed. He thinks I'm on a good path to recovery and not headed into PTSD, since I came to him so soon after it happened."

I nodded, but didn't speak. I hadn't broken eye contact with Ranger while he had been talking, and I knew that I was silently asking the question of whether he would tell me what had happened.

Ranger ran his hand along the side of my face, stopping to cup my chin and pull me towards him for a kiss. It was brief, but warm and tender.

"I'll tell you, but not right now. Let's just sleep. You look exhausted," he whispered as he rested his forehead against mine.

I nodded. "I have to go down and get Rex and my bag out of my car first."

Ranger stood and grabbed a t-shirt off the chair in the corner of the room. "I'll go down and get them. You get in bed."

I told him where I was parked, kicked off my shoes and took off my sweater and jeans. I rummaged in Ranger's dresser for a t-shirt and pulled it on over my head. I went to the bathroom and by the time I was climbing into bed, I heard Ranger coming back into the apartment. I thought I heard him put Rex's cage on the kitchen counter, and a moment later he appeared in the bedroom.

Once he'd thrown my bag into the corner chair, Ranger took off his shirt and sweat pants before crawling into bed clad only in his boxer-briefs. I managed to refrain from groaning due to the fact that Ranger and I hadn't had sex in a month. He turned off the light on the bedside table and pulled me close to him, kissing my head as he wrapped his arms around me. The sound of his easy breathing and the feel of his arms around me helped me fall asleep quickly. By the time I woke up several hours later, there was bright nearly-winter sunshine coming in through the curtains. Ranger's spot was empty, but I could hear noise in the kitchen. I climbed out of bed and walked out of the bedroom towards the noise. Ranger was pouring coffee into two mugs as I walked in. He handed one to me and started sipping his own. I glanced at the clock on the stove, which told me it was almost eleven.

"Did you sleep well?" I asked.

Ranger scanned my body, which was covered only with his t-shirt and my blue Victoria's Secret panties.

"I did. I've missed sleeping next to you."

I smiled at him, glad to see him more relaxed and back to his old self, and in return I was treated to a thinking-about-smiling smile from Ranger. I put my cup down on the counter and walked towards him, wrapping my arms gently around his waist. He repeated the move and we stood in that position for several minutes, enjoying the feel of being in each other's arms again. The smell of Ranger's shower gel mixed with his natural scent made me feel at ease for the first time in a month.

We eventually broke apart and prepared a brunch for ourselves, eating in a more comfortable silence than we had done two weeks ago, but still not quite back to our norm. I quietly pondered when Ranger would tell me about his time in captivity, and worked to prepare myself for a horrific story. Once we had cleared our places and washed the dishes, Ranger guided me into the living room and we sat down on the leather sofa. His expression was neutral and calm, so I knew he was mentally preparing himself for a difficult story.

"Are you sure you want to know this?" Ranger asked, watching me closely. "It's not a pleasant story."

No shit.

"Yes, I want to hear it, if you are willing to tell me," I informed him, meeting his gaze. I didn't want him to think I was afraid of what I might hear, or that I may judge him harshly.

Ranger nodded and leaned back against the couch. I noticed he wasn't touching me in any way and wondered what it meant. Normally, even if we were just sitting on the couch, his leg might be touching mine, if nothing else. The distance between us made feel me that we were both incredibly vulnerable in that moment.

"I was providing security detail for a representative from the State department in Somalia. It was supposed to be a quiet visit with some politicians in the rural areas to help stabilize the government and work towards bringing back diplomatic representation to the area. We had just left our first meeting when our car was ambushed by rebels who are fighting against the government. We were outnumbered in both people and guns, so instead of guaranteeing our deaths by trying to fight them, we went quietly with the hope that they would negotiate our release with the government. Two of their people had been taken into CIA custody as possible terrorists and were being held at a black site in Eastern Europe, so we were being used as leverage."

"For the first couple of days, things weren't too bad. They smacked us around a little and didn't feed us, but I'd been through worse. Once they realized that the U.S. government wasn't taking them seriously, they upped their ante. They locked us in rooms with no light or sound and would come and beat us at random. They used psychological torture techniques and would act like they were going to execute us, but would fire the round right past our heads and in to the ground or the wall. They used a variety of torture techniques that are designed to cause significant pain without leaving lasting damage, including waterboarding."

Ranger stopped speaking, but I knew he wasn't finished. He was steeling himself for more, so I waited quietly for him to continue.

"Finally, in the last couple of days before we were found, they turned to—um, using various tools to—to—sodomize us," he finished, saying the last words with a breathless, almost-anguished tenor. "We were starving, dehydrated, exhausted and close to losing our minds, and then they started humiliating us like that. I've been captured and tortured before, but never for this length of time or severity. The thing that made it harder was thinking of you and Julie. At first, I'd think of you and it kept me strong, determined that I'd come home to see you again. But the longer I was there all I could think about was how you'd feel when they finally killed me. I thought about all the years I didn't fight for you and let you stay with Morelli because I thought it was best. I wished we'd had more time together and questioned whether you would go back to him once I was dead. Then I'd think about how Julie and I had gotten closer in the past couple of years, and wondered whether she'd be hurt when I wasn't around any longer. Then I worried that you both might be in danger because of me, and I thought towards the end of my time there that it would have been better for both of you if I'd never been a part of your lives."

I had a lump in my throat by the time Ranger stopped speaking. I knew the situation had to have been a nightmare for him, and that as much as I had tried to prepare myself for the story, it still felt like someone had run a sword through my chest. Seeing Ranger look so pained and hearing the horror in his voice were things I never thought possible of him. But I knew that if anyone could get through something that terrible, it would be him. He was the toughest person I'd ever met, and the fact that something could get to him only made me love him more, because it reminded me that he was still human, no matter how tough the exterior.

"I'm so sorry this happened to you," I finally said through the lump in my throat.

I reached out and touched his hand tentatively, gauging whether I could get closer, or if he preferred that I kept my distance. When he squeezed my hand and looked back at me once more, I scooted across the sofa and put my arms around his neck, pulling him close to me. I felt him wrap his arms around my waist and he pulled me into his lap. I ran my fingers through his hair and ran my nails along the base of his neck. I felt him take a couple of deep, shuddering breaths as we sat there together. I placed small kisses on his temple and cheek as I pulled back to look at him. I knew there were tear tracks down my cheeks and found that Ranger's eyes bright with tears as well. I kissed him on the forehead and nose before moving to his lips.

"What can I do?" I whispered. "Please tell me what I can do to help you."

Ranger ran a finger along my collarbone as he spoke. "Are you ashamed of me?"

"Ashamed? About what?" I asked, completely nonplussed.

"For blowing up at you when you tried to talk to me about this stuff, for leaving you in the middle of the night without a word. For getting into that situation, for not fighting harder against them. Especially when they…," he trailed off, but I knew he was referring to the point when he'd been sodomized.

I tilted his chin up so that he would have to look me in the eye. "Carlos Manoso, I am not, and will never be, ashamed of you. I'm in awe of you, in the fact that you made it back home alive. You didn't give up and you came home to me. I'm not angry or upset with you for what happened at my house. I should have known better than to push you, but you had also just been through a trauma and you just were trying to cope with it. Ultimately, it boils down to I love you, and I will do anything to help you."

I saw something that looked like a flicker of relief wash over Ranger's face. He brought a hand up to my face and pushed my hair back before pressing his lips to mine once more. He deepened our kiss this time, gently pushing him tongue into my mouth and pulling me closer to him. After a minute or so, he pulled away again.

"Thank you," he muttered. "I've needed to hear that. I've been worried about how you might feel about what happened—that you might not want me any longer."

I wanted him to understand that I didn't think any less of him because he had been assaulted. I never could have imagined Ranger feeling so ashamed about something that he couldn't control, but I imagined it must be common in those who have been raped.

"Please, Ranger. The day I stop wanting you is the day they put me in the ground. I had to refrain from drooling all over you last night when you climbed into bed in nothing but your boxers."

Ranger smiled a little sadly. "But you didn't know the story then."

I shrugged. "Nothing's changed. I still want to drool all over you, for as long as you'll have me."

That earned me a full on smile.

"Babe."

 _A/N: This was a difficult topic to broach, but I felt it was important. Men account for 10% of sexual assault and rape victims in the U.S., according to the RAINN (Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network) website, and the psychological effects can be damaging in the long-term if help isn't sought out immediately. Often times, people tend to forget that rape and sexual violence isn't always geared towards women. I know this was a dark chapter, but it has opened up a new door in Stephanie and Ranger's relationship and will push them towards better things. Thanks for reading. _


	15. I Believe In You And Me

After Ranger's details of his capture in Somalia and some quality time spent holding one another, I went into the bedroom with the intention of doing some internet research on my laptop. I wanted to learn more about rape victims, males in particular, and how their loved ones could help them through the trauma.

I dug my laptop out of my duffle bag and headed towards the bed, pausing when a silver picture frame on Ranger's bedside table caught my eye. It hadn't been there when we'd been in the apartment over the summer, as I remembered that the only pictures had been on the living room wall. I walked over and picked it up. It was of Ranger and me at his parents' anniversary party. Celia had insisted on a picture early in the day, before the nonsense with the cousin, so my hair and make-up still looked good. Ranger had his arm around my waist and we were both smiling, looking relaxed and happy. It was nice to see us in this light, and it made me feel even better that he'd put a picture of me in his apartment. Car keys and bullets weren't exactly romantic mementos of a girlfriend.

I replaced the picture and crawled on the bed, propping myself up against the headboard. I fired up my computer and opened up two internet tabs. One was for my search on male rape victims and the other was opened to Pinterest. I created a new board called "Recipes" and had the recipe section open for legitimate reading. I didn't want Ranger to come across me researching male rape victims, so I would have the other tab open in case he came in the room. I could click on it instead to keep things from becoming any more awkward than they already were. I'd been reading on a couple of websites for about half an hour when Ranger walked into the room. I discreetly closed out the web search and perused the recipes on Pinterest.

"Have you finally decided to stop living on birthday cake and peanut butter and olive sandwiches?" Ranger asked as he climbed into bed next to me and looked at my computer screen.

"Yes, it's another step in my growing up plan. I need to start cooking real meals."

The unspoken comment in the room was that there was a step before the cooking step —it was called "create an actual kitchen" step. I was seriously lacking on cooking tools. I only had one pot and a cookie sheet. Martha Stewart, I am not.

"That's a good idea, babe, but how about also adding 'eating healthier' to that particular step? Fried cheese balls aren't exactly a meal. They barely qualify as something fit for human consumption," Ranger said.

"Just because you don't eat them doesn't mean that they aren't fit for human consumption. You barely qualify as human most days. You're more of human-superhero hybrid."

"I'm just a man, babe. A man with healthy habits who is in love with a woman who eats like a frat boy and avoids exercise like it's an STD."

I rolled my eyes at Ranger, ignoring the fact that he was right.

"What were you really looking at?" he asked.

"What do you mean?" I asked, putting on my best innocent expression.

"You wouldn't have come in here just to look at Pinterest. You would have brought your computer to the living room and sat with me. You wanted privacy, so you came in here. I imagine you had two internet tabs open, one with Pinterest and one with whatever you were looking at, and when I came in you closed the latter."

Fucking know-it-all.

"I wanted to give you some space," I told him. "I didn't want you to feel overwhelmed by me being here, so I came in here to relax and look at Pinterest."

Ranger snatched my computer quickly from me and pulled up my internet history. Thank God I had been smart enough to search the information on rape victims in one of those private browsers that doesn't show up on your computer history. I hadn't been an occasional Rangeman employee for nothing.

"I'm impressed, babe. You used a private browser so it won't show up in your history. I've taught you well."

I love Ranger, I really do, but there are times when I also hate him for being so good at everything. This was one of those times.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I told him, taking my computer back. "I was just searching Pinterest for recipes and giving you some space."

Ranger watched me for a minute, and I felt an unease grow between us. What did he think I was searching? Did he realize the truth, or did he assume worse? Dating websites? Tips on how to break up with your boyfriend who just got raped while being held hostage by crazed Somalians?

"What?" I finally asked, unable to bear the tension any longer. "What's wrong?"

Ranger laid down on the bed and looked at the ceiling. "I need you to be honest with me, Stephanie. Now is not the time to hide things from me."

"What do you think I'm hiding?"

"If you can't handle being with me after I told you about what happened in Somalia, I'll understand, but please tell me now. Don't drag it out for weeks or months."

My heart felt heavy after he finished speaking. He was worried I would leave him, even though I told him I wouldn't. Ranger had seen me go through a lot of shit, but he apparently questioned whether this would be the thing that would be too much for me, and that I'd end up walking away from our relationship.

I watched him for a moment before opening up the browser and typing in the search I had completed. I brought up the two webpages I'd been reading from and put the computer in Ranger's lap.

"There —that's what I was searching when you walked in, and I closed it out so that you wouldn't feel awkward."

Ranger sat up in bed and pulled the computer with him. The first webpage was from a rape advocacy group and talked about ways to help loved ones who have been sexually assaulted deal with the trauma. The other page was a scholarly article about the psychological effect of rape on male victims. Ranger scanned both pages briefly before closing the browser and then the computer.

"Why not ask me if you have questions?" he finally asked.

"Because I can tell you aren't telling me the whole story, and I feel like there may be things that I can do for you that you don't realize or think you need. I just want to help you."

Ranger picked up my hand and kissed the palm before getting up and leaving the room without saying a word.

Seriously? This was the time he was choosing to not say anything? I was sitting there debating about whether to follow him or to go back to Pinterest when he came back into the bedroom.

"I have an appointment to see Dr. Rodriguez tomorrow and then again on Friday. I just called to ask him if he thought he could answer some of your questions and he said yes. He wants to meet with you for the last half of my session tomorrow," Ranger finished.

Whoa, not what I was expecting. Did I want to talk to his therapist about this? I'd never talked to a therapist before, so talking to one about something so personal and serious was a bit daunting. I couldn't see myself lying on a couch talking to a faceless man who kept asking me how I was feeling about stuff and if it related to my relationship with my father. But Ranger trusted this man, and he trusted very few people. And since he probably knew what he was doing, he could answer my specific questions better than the internet could.

"That would be good. I think he could be helpful, though how we're going to get to your appointment tomorrow is beyond me unless you've got the Rangeman dogsled team on stand-by downstairs. There's about two feet of snow on the ground."

Ranger shook his head. "His office is just down the road, though he can't get there. He told me he was willing to come to the apartment for our session tomorrow and Friday, if necessary, since he said he lives in the area. I happen to know that he lives on the fourth floor of this building, but he isn't aware that I know."

I nodded. The therapist probably only treated Ranger because he was well aware that Ranger was rarely ever in the apartment and the chance of them running into each other in the lobby or garage was unlikely. It probably helped ease his mind to know that Ranger wasn't going to start stalking him or try to be his best friend.

The rest of the day was spent watching television and relaxing. I updated him on the FTAs I had captured while he was away and that I hadn't ended up going to Thanksgiving with his family since he wasn't home. He told me he had called his mother and made up an excuse that his trip had been extended and he hadn't been able to call her himself. He wasn't sure if she believed him or not, but he didn't think she'd push him on it. She knew he had to keep much of his work confidential. We went to bed that night much like we had the night before. Ranger made no sexual contact and while he had his arm around my waist, his body was not pressed against mine like it normally was when we slept next to one another. Around three in the morning, I was awakened by Ranger groaning in his sleep and waking up with a gasping breath. Remembering what had happened at my house a couple of weeks earlier, I stayed still and listened to him as he sat up in bed and worked to settle his breathing. I kept my eyes closed, letting him decide whether or not he wanted to wake me up. I heard him get out of bed and walk out of the room. A few seconds later, I heard the sound of water running in the distance. I wasn't sure how much time had passed, but I laid awake until Ranger came back to bed. He didn't put an arm around me, but laid on his side with his back to me. His breathing had resumed its normal, steady pace, so it was impossible to tell if he was still awake or finally gone back to sleep. I found myself unable to go back to sleep and eventually decided to get up. I tried to slip out of bed quietly, hoping Ranger was asleep, but as soon as I had sat up in bed, I heard his voice.

"Sorry I woke you," he said quietly.

"You didn't wake me," I said as I stood up. "I have to go to the bathroom."

"Liar. You've been awake as long as I have. I could tell by your breathing."

I walked towards the bedroom door. "I'm going to the bathroom. Go back to sleep," I told him.

I went to the bathroom, but didn't use it. I sat on the edge of the bathtub and thought about the impending session with the therapist in a few hours. What was I supposed to ask? What was I _not_ supposed to ask about? I knew therapists kept information confidential, so I wasn't sure how much I would be told, or if it would just be generic advice. I ran through the questions I wanted to ask while I traced the lines in the tiles of the floor with my toe.

"Are you planning to come back to bed?"

Ranger's voice startled me so much I shrieked and fell off the edge of the tub onto the floor.

"What the hell? Why didn't you knock? I could have been using the toilet," I admonished, standing up from the floor.

"I knew you weren't. I never heard the lid on the toilet lift, and I could hear you drumming your finger nails on the edge of the bathtub."

I smacked him on the arm as I tried to walk past him out of the bathroom. "Okay, I get it, you know everything. I was just sitting there thinking, and hoping you'd go back to sleep."

Ranger grabbed my arm and pulled me towards him. "Anything you want to talk about?"

I shrugged. "I was just thinking about what I could ask the therapist today. I wasn't sure what was allowed to be asked and what wasn't."

Ranger watched me for a minute, assessing my mood. "I told Dr. Rodriguez yesterday that he is allowed to discuss anything about me about that you wish to know or that he feels you need to know."

I was stunned by this news, and felt good about the trust Ranger was showing in me. But I wasn't completely fooled. I knew very well that there would be things that he would never tell a living soul, regardless of whether they were bound by confidentiality.

I gave him a gentle kiss on the lips. "Thanks for trusting me."

Dr. Rodriguez was due to come to the apartment at ten in the morning. I knew they wanted me to come in for the last part of the session, but I wasn't sure what I should be doing before I was to be summoned. I dressed in jeans, a cream sweater and my sneakers. I put on mascara and lip gloss and did the best to make myself look good, but not like I'd spent a lot of time on it. I didn't want the therapist to think I was vain about my looks, or conversely that I didn't care about how I looked. Dressing for a therapist was a real bitch.

Ranger was on his laptop in the living room when I came out of the bedroom at ten minutes to ten. He was dressed in dark-wash jeans and a long-sleeved black t-shirt. He shut the laptop when he saw me come in the room.

"Where should I go while you are meeting with the therapist?" I asked. "You mentioned that I would come in at the end."

"You can do whatever you want," Ranger replied. "I doubt it'll be too long before Dr. Rodriguez wants to see you."

There was a knock on the door a couple of minutes later and Ranger stood to answer the door. Seconds later, a tall Latino man who looked to be in his late forties or early fifties followed Ranger into the living. He was dressed in jean, a dark blue cable-knit sweater and black boots. He had a wool coat draped over one arm and carried a messenger bag in the other hand. The man put his coat over the back of the chair that sat perpendicular to the couch and looked over at me.

"You must be Stephanie," he said, extending a hand and smiling. "I'm Felipe Rodriguez."

"It's nice to meet you," I said, shaking his hand. "I'll be in the bedroom until you're ready for me."

Dr. Rodriguez nodded and I headed towards the bedroom. I couldn't decide what to do to keep myself occupied in the meantime. I knew if I didn't do something, I'd be tempted to strain and hear what they were talking about, which would be bad. Ultimately, I grabbed my laptop and started looking at Pinterest while playing my music from iTunes on low.

Half an hour later, Ranger opened the bedroom door and announced that Dr. Rodriguez was ready for me. I closed my computer and put it back in my bag as I walked out the door. As I reached the living room, I heard the click of the door to the apartment. Ranger was nowhere to be found, but Dr. Rodriguez was sitting in the arm chair.

"Where did R—Carlos go?" I asked as I walked towards the couch.

"I thought it would be best to meet with you alone," Dr. Rodriguez replied. I noticed he was taking notes in a black portfolio with a pen that looked like it was engraved with his initials.

Ugh. I didn't like the idea of my own therapy session. I immediately felt myself go on guard, hoping I didn't burst into tears about how I felt my life was a bit of a mess still, despite my efforts in the growing plan.

"I'd like to start by asking how you are doing, given what Carlos has told you about his time in Somalia," Dr. Rodriguez said, getting right down to business.

I thought about it for a minute before speaking. "'I've been horrified—for him, I mean. He's so strong, and I've always thought that nothing could happen to him unless he let it. It's been strange to see him this way."

"What way is that?"

Again I had to consider how to phrase what I needed to say. "Vulnerable."

Dr. Rodriguez nodded and scribbled something on his note pad. "Tell me about what happened the first night when Carlos came home from Somalia."

"Didn't he tell you what happened?"

Dr. Rodriguez nodded. "I want your perspective."

"He had woken up from a nightmare, and I tried to get him to talk to me about it. He didn't want to, but I pushed him. When I pushed him too far, he yelled at me and threw a bottle across the room," I replied, wondering how this would change anything.

"How did you feel when he yelled at you and threw the bottle?"

I thought for a moment, letting myself remember how my blood had felt like it ran cold when he yelled at me, and I how I had started to tremble as I backed away from him.

"Scared," I finally managed. "He's never yelled at me before, nor has he ever been aggressive. It was scary."

Dr. Rodriguez watched me closely as I spoke, taking in everything I said. "Did you think Carlos would hurt you?"

"No," I replied immediately. "I didn't think he was going to hurt me, but it made me realize that there is still a side to him that I don't get to see because he keeps himself under so much control. I'm used to him rushing to my side to protect me whenever I do something stupid. While it was terrifying, it was also…sobering."

"Does it change how you feel about Carlos or your relationship?"

I shook my head. "No, I still love him and want to be with him. I just want to be able to help him, but I don't know how."

Dr. Rodriguez nodded again and jotted down more notes. I wondered whether therapists ever got whiplash from all of the nodding, and imagined they probably had excellent chiropractic coverage on their insurance.

"How is he doing?" I caught myself blurting out as Dr. Rodriguez started to open his mouth again. I hated the light being on me, so I hoped I could get him onto a different line of questioning.

"Carlos is doing better than he was when he first contacted me. During our first session a couple of weeks ago, he was mostly upset because of how he'd lost his temper with you, but also because he was coming to the realization that this wasn't something he could handle in his normal way. He still has some work to do, but given his emotional strength I feel confident that he can recover from this. I'm glad you have questions about how to help him because your help can be a tremendous aid in his recovery, both in terms of strength of recovery and time."

I nodded this time, feeling slightly relieved that the doctor was confident that he would recover. But how long would it take? Weeks? Months? Years?

"What about…sex? Normally, he can't keep his hands off of me, but since he's come back from Somalia, he's kissed me a couple of times, but that's it. Not that I'm expecting sex, but I'm curious about how to approach it with him," I asked, hoping I wasn't blushing and that I didn't come off as a sex fiend.

"In terms of your sex life, Carlos will initially be hesitant to engage in sexual intercourse because of how the rape has affected his views on his sexual self. For men especially, being raped presents as a loss of control and is psychologically emasculating. There is nothing physically wrong with Carlos that will prevent him from having sex again. It can be worse for a man when he reacts physically during the rape. Some men achieve erections and some may even ejaculate; not out of sexual pleasure, but out of a natural physical response to stimulation that cannot be controlled. This often makes them question their sexuality, worrying about if they are gay or bisexual. I know Carlos does not question his sexual orientation, but the loss of control over what happened to him and the flashbacks he has been having are what will stand in the way of your sex life. My recommendation is that you let him lead the way; let him initiate contact for a while. If you sense that he wants to do more, but is hesitant, you can encourage but don't push him. If he's not ready, let it drop. Basically, help him to understand that you still find him attractive and want to be intimate with him again in order to help him realize that he is still as much of a man as he was before the assault," Dr. Rodriguez finished.

I understood what Dr. Rodriguez was saying, but I knew it wouldn't be easy to do. I thought back to when I was in elementary school and would try to stand in the middle of the seesaw, wobbling back and forth, trying to keep it straight. I would feel a rush of panic anytime I started to tip to one side, frantically trying to correct it and leaning to the other side. I predicted I would feel the same way about trying to manage my relationship with Ranger for the time being.

"What about the nightmares? How should I handle those? He had one last night, but I pretended to be asleep because I remembered how badly things had gone the last time. He knew I was awake, but he didn't try to wake me. I don't want to seem insensitive, but don't want to push him either."

"You can wake up when he does, help him to remember that he's safe and ask if he needs anything. After that, follow his lead in terms of helping him, unless of course you fear he is going to be in danger or may put someone else in danger."

I nodded again. He had basically told me the same things I'd read online, but tailored them to Ranger, which was reassuring.

"Did you have any other questions? Our time is almost up," Dr. Rodriguez asked as he finished another notation.

I shook my head. "No, you've covered the big questions I've had. Thank you for your help. I just hope I don't screw him up."

Dr. Rodriguez chuckled. "Stephanie, I can tell you love him, and he loves you, and you will definitely be a positive and strengthening part of his life. Don't forget that."

As if on cue, Ranger walked back into the apartment. His expression was neutral as usual, but I suspected he was curious to know what he had discussed, though unlike me, he wouldn't be so obvious about it.

Dr. Rodriguez and I both stood up. "Stephanie, it's been nice to meet you. Please call me if you have questions or need to talk," he said, handing me a business card.

I accepted the card and nodded. Dr. Rodriguez walked to the door and Ranger showed him out. I heard them agree to determine their meeting location on Friday based on the weather and then the therapist left. Ranger reappeared in the living room a second later.

"How did it go?" he asked, leaning against the wall and crossing his arms across his chest.

I pocketed the business card and sat back down on the couch. "Good. He helped me to understand how I can support you right now."

Ranger watched me for a moment. "Anything else?"

I shrugged. "Not really. He basically told me things you had already told me, about how you were upset that you'd yelled at me and it made you realize you needed help. He thinks you'll recover from this, but that you just need time and love."

For some reason, Ranger looked like he might be annoyed, though I wasn't sure if the annoyance was at me, his therapist or the situation. He came over and sat down on the couch next to me. He held my hand in his and blew out a sigh as he laid his head against the back of the couch. I got the feeling I was missing something, but had no clue as to what.

"He was supposed to tell you more about the attack," Ranger finally said, staring at the opposite wall. "Things I didn't want to tell you in person."

I squeezed his hand. "You don't have to tell me unless you want to. Even so, it wouldn't change anything. I'll still be here."

Ranger looked over at me, gauging whether I was being honest. I held his gaze, wanting him to know I was serious. He finally nodded and looked away.

"When I was being…raped," Ranger began, saying the word as though it were foreign to him. "They not only used the night stick, but they–purposely touched–me. I got an erection from it, but I didn't like it. It was just from being weak and the stimulation, but it bothers me that it happened."

I had suspected as much when Dr. Rodriguez talked about Ranger's feelings on the matter, but it didn't make any difference to me. I'd heard of women who had orgasms while being raped—not out of liking it, but because the rapist had managed to hit the right spot. I didn't think it was any different in this case.

"Like I said, it doesn't matter. I'll be here, and I'll do whatever it is you need me to do to help you get through this."

Ranger put an arm around me and pulled me into his chest, kissing the top of my head.

"I don't deserve you, Stephanie Plum."


	16. How Deep Is Your Love

I left Newark early on Friday morning, once the roads were clear and I could make it back to Trenton without ending up in a ditch. Ranger had his appointment with Dr. Rodriguez at his office that morning and would be leaving directly to return home. He told me he would need to go to the office and wasn't sure if he'd be over for a day or so. He had been a little more relaxed after my session with his therapist, but still a bit hesitant and quieter than usual.

I spent the rest of my day unpacking my overnight bag, doing laundry and cleaning the house. I told myself it was just because it was needed, but when I found myself furiously scrubbing the little ledge on top of my bedroom door, I accepted that it was because I was trying to distract myself. I'd never been involved in anything so serious with a boyfriend before, so I really had no idea how to handle it, other than what I had been reading and heard from the therapist. But I knew I could put up a front and keep the others from knowing the truth. I'd lied and pretended lots of really bad situations weren't big deals in the past. This was just one more.

Feeling a fatigue that had nothing to do with the housework I'd been doing for several hours that day, I was in bed by nine that night. I closed my eyes and fell into an uneasy sleep, wondering if Ranger was getting any sleep and whether I should have called him today. I knew he would be busy trying to get back into his work and probably wouldn't want interruption, but started to worry about how my silence may have made him feel. I woke up and checked the clock at one point, which told me it was a little after two in the morning. Definitely not the time to call and wake him up to ask if he was doing alright. Resigned to wait until morning, I had just closed my eyes when I heard a noise downstairs. It sounded like someone opening my door and walking slowly across my kitchen. I realized that I'd forgotten to set the alarm, so I grabbed my gun from my bedside table and tiptoed across the floor, hiding in the little space of wall between the stairs and the bathroom. I peered around the edge of the stairs, but couldn't see anything. I was just about to go back to my room, thinking that I'd imagined it all when I heard slow footsteps on the stairs. I froze, trying not to hyperventilate and took a step back so that I could have my gun raised once the person got to the top of the stairs. Cold panic was running through me and the gun in my hands shook as I held it.

"Stop right there," I said, my voice quavering as the dark shadow reached the top of the stairs. "Let me see your hands."

"Steph, it's me," came Ranger's voice from the shadow. I blew out a sigh and lowered my gun, trying not to pass out with relief.

"God, you scared the hell out of me. I thought you were a burglar," I said, leaning against the wall.

"You didn't have your alarm set, so I could have been," he replied, walking past me into the bedroom.

"I didn't figure you were coming over," I told him, following him into the bedroom. He turned on the small lamp on the bedside table and I blinked furiously, allowing my eyes to adjust to the light. Ranger was dressed in black sweats, sneakers and a Rangeman hooded sweatshirt, and he had placed a duffle bag on the bed. He pulled out the clothes and toiletries that he had taken when he left my house the night after his return, putting the clothes back in the closet and the toiletries in the bathroom before answering.

"I wasn't planning to come over, but I couldn't sleep. I thought I may sleep better with you next to me."

My heart fluttered a little bit at the admission, but I was sobered when I recalled why he needed me. I walked over and hugged him, wrapping my arms around his waist and resting my head against his chest. He put his arms around me and we were silent for a minute, listening to the quiet around us. I pulled away after a minute and climbed in bed, putting my gun back in the bedside table.

"I'm glad you've finally learned to keep your gun nearby and were ready to use it," Ranger said as he pulled off his sweatshirt and kicked off his sneakers.

I shrugged. "I must have learned my lesson after ending up unprotected so many times."

A lesson I should have learned after my first time getting kidnapped or having my apartment broken into, but I've never claimed to be a genius.

Ranger climbed in bed next to me and turned out the light. "I thought it was in case I acted like a total shit again and you needed to shoot me."

"That too," I replied.

I woke up the next morning to the sun streaming in through my window. A quick peek at the clock told me it was eight-thirty-two. Ranger was still asleep with an arm thrown over me, keeping me pulled close to him. I tried to get out of his hold without waking him, but was unsuccessful.

"I'll be right back," I whispered when he opened his eyes. He nodded and went back to sleep as I padded into the bathroom. I took a quick shower and returned to the bedroom ten minutes later with a towel wrapped around me. Ranger didn't look like he'd moved from where I'd left him, so I was more confident that I wouldn't wake him up if I were quiet.

I sat down in the chair in the corner of my bedroom and started applying lotion to my legs and arms, debating about what to do. The bonds office was normally open until noon, but I wasn't sure I wanted to go in. I had texted with Connie on Thursday, who said there hadn't been any new FTAs during the snowstorm, as the courts had been shut down and all hearings had been rescheduled.

Maybe I just won't go in until Monday, I thought as I opened up my towel to apply lotion to my chest and abdomen. It's been an emotional few weeks and things tend to slow down around Christmas anyway. It'll almost be a vacation.

"Babe."

I had just applied lotion to my breasts when Ranger's voice had startled me out of my thoughts.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," I told him, closing my lotion bottle and standing up to wrap my towel back around my body.

There was a hint of a smile on his lips. "Never apologize for feeling yourself up. It was pretty sexy."

I shook my head in mock disgust and grabbed clothes from the dresser and closet. I sat on the edge of the bed next to him as I started to get dressed, feeling his eyes on me. I looked over at my shoulder once to find his eyes were dilated and he was eyeing my body with interest. When he noticed me watching him, I gave him a small smile that I hoped conveyed the right message, which was a mixture of "I love you," "I'm a little shy because you're checking me out" and "I wouldn't mind if you did more than just look". He didn't say anything, but ran his index finger down my spine, giving me chills that had nothing to do with the cold winter air. When I finished getting dressed, I stood and Ranger climbed out of bed after me.

"I'm going to make some breakfast. What would you like?'' I asked, doing a full body scan as he stretched. My eyes lingered for a moment over the bulge in his pants, which had me wondering if it was just a normal morning stiffy or a reaction to seeing me naked.

"Anything that won't clog my arteries," he replied, kissing my cheek and heading out of the room to the bathroom. I grabbed my cell phone as I left the room, seeing a text from Connie that said the office was closed for the day and she was working from home. Works for me.

It was only when I went downstairs and checked out my refrigerator that I remembered I hadn't gone to the store before I left town. I had some eggs, moldy strawberries, out-dated milk, bread and condiments. I ended up making scrambled eggs and toast and had just set our places at the breakfast bar when Ranger came downstairs, showered and dressed.

"This was all I had," I informed him as I sat down. "I need to go to the store."

His lips twitched as he sat down next to me. "Some things never change."

I rolled my eyes as I took a bite of egg. "Do you have a lot to do at the office today?"

Ranger nodded. "I've been gone for almost a month. Tank is able to pick up most of the slack when I'm gone, but as the sole-owner now there are some things that only I can do. Do you have many FTAs right now?"

I shook my head. "I'd gotten my files cleared before I came up to Newark and Connie told me the courts have been closed because of the snow storm, so no one is FTA at the moment. She said they aren't opening the office today, but will bond people out if they call."

"Do you need money?"

I shook my head. "I had quite a few captures while you were gone, so I'll be okay for a bit. Not having rent or a mortgage really helps my money go further."

We finished our meals in silence. My mind was consumed with thoughts of what it would be like to live with Ranger. I'd been debating about asking him to move in with me since before he was kidnapped in November, but other circumstances had pushed it from my mind. I wasn't sure if he would be open to it, since he had his apartment at Rangeman, which included Ella and her amazing cooking. The refrigerator was never empty at Rangeman and his apartment was always in immaculate condition. He was also just seconds away from work in an emergency, where my house was a ten-minute drive from Rangeman. This wasn't even counting his lone wolf lifestyle. I was hoping that had changed somewhat, since he had been in a relationship with me for almost six months. I wanted to ask him, but worried how a 'no' response may affect our relationship. I didn't think we'd break up or anything, but I wondered if it would cause awkwardness between us.

"I'm not a horrible cook and my house stays fairly clean," I inadvertently said out loud.

Ranger had been up rinsing his dishes and putting them in the dishwasher when I made this proclamation. He turned around and looked at me.

"I've not eaten much of your cooking, but so far you've not poisoned me. And yes, your house is clean," Ranger replied, looking confused.

I stood up and walked over to the sink. "Sorry, I was thinking to myself."

"Worried that you're not making progress in your plan?"

I shook my head. "No, I've been making good progress considering what a train wreck I've been the past few years. I was just thinking about something else."

Ranger looked at me expectantly while I put away my dishes. "What's bothering you?"

I sighed once I realized he wasn't going to let this go. Standing at the kitchen sink wasn't exactly how I'd be thinking of asking him this question.

"Before you went to Somalia, I'd been thinking of asking you to move in with me. Since then I've had other things to occupy my mind, but now I've come back to that question. " I informed him. "I wasn't sure if you'd want to leave your apartment and Ella's cooking and housekeeping. I don't eat very healthy and I never exercise. My sheets aren't silky and perfect like yours and my house isn't designed by an interior decorator. I usually forget to go to the grocery until my fridge is empty. And I know it's so close to work that if you have an emergency or have to work a shift unexpectedly that you just have to go downstairs, but my house is only ten minutes from your office, and —and I'm babbling."

Ranger leaned against my counter and crossed his arms. "So my choices are living in a sterile, empty apartment that's maintained by my housekeeper, or moving into a home that has the woman I love living in it? Do you honestly think this is going to be a difficult decision?"

My stomach did a small flip. "I really wasn't sure. Ella is amazing."

Ranger's lips tipped up into a small smile. "She does a great job, but Ella and that apartment are never going to win out over you, Babe."

"So, you'll move in with me?"

Ranger pushed away from the counter and pulled me into his arms. "Yes."

He brought his mouth down on mine with one hand at my neck and one on my lower back, kissing me with an intensity that he hadn't showed since before Somalia. He pulled away from me and kissed me on the forehead.

"I have to go, but I'll have Ella start packing the rest of my personal belongings and I'll bring them with me tonight," he said, picking up his keys from the hook and walking out the back door to his car.

I stood rooted to the spot after he left, trying to process what had happened. I had asked Ranger to move in with me and he had agreed. Was I ready for this?

 _Too freaking late for that, Steph. You already asked him._

To distract myself from any anxiety over cohabitating with Ranger, I went upstairs and started clearing out my closet. Now that I'd be sharing it with someone, I couldn't keep every article of clothing I owned in there at one time. I started sorting out my spring and summer clothes and piling them on my bed. Every storage tote I owned was full, so I pulled out my largest suitcase and started folding my clothes and putting them inside. Once I was done, there was about half of the closet left for Ranger.

My dresser proved to be more difficult to condense, as it was stuff I needed year-round. Ultimately, I got rid of some old t-shirts, which had included anything that had belonged to Morelli or that were old and holey and something I'd never wear in front of Ranger. I managed to get two out of the five drawers emptied for him, which I thought was fair. Men don't have as much stuff as women.

I was just about to stop for lunch when the doorbell rang. I ran downstairs to find a Rangeman employee at my door. I had seen him around the office before and knew he did computer stuff, but never knew his name.

"Hello, ma'am. I'm John. Ranger sent me to set up his computer and to make your internet connection secure," he informed me.

Ranger certainly hadn't wasted any time.

I stood aside and let him in, showing him the office upstairs.

"What's the password for your modem and for your wi-fi?" John asked, pen poised over a clipboard.

I stared at him for a moment. "They have passwords?"

John's expression told me only fear of his boss had kept him from heaving a huge sigh and rolling his eyes. "Well, ma'am, you may not have them password protected if you don't remember putting one in. I'll give you the passwords when I'm done."

I nodded and left him to his work, having little doubt that once I was away he would be shaking his head at my technological incompetence.

I went downstairs and started making a grocery list so that Ranger and I could actually have dinner that night. John had gone out to his car twice to retrieve stuff and headed back upstairs. After an hour, he came down to tell me that everything was set up and left me the passwords for both the internet modem and the wi-fi, telling me I would have to use the password to access the internet the next time I logged onto my laptop. Steeling myself, I ran upstairs to look at my guest-room-turned-office to see if it had been morphed into a command center capable of launching a missile. I was relieved, though almost disappointed to find that only a top-of-the-line desktop computer and a printer with built-in scanner had been added to the room, though I suspected my internet connection was now more secure than the Pentagon's.

I left the house and stopped by my parents' to see everyone. I hadn't told them that I had spent the last few days up in Newark, but with the snowstorm, I wouldn't have been able to get around much anyway.

"We haven't seen you for a few days," Grandma Mazur said when I arrived. "Did you have enough food to last you until the snow was cleared?"

I nodded. "Yep, I ate plenty, though now I need to go to the store. I just thought I'd stop by for a minute."

My mother came out of the kitchen and into the dining room where Grandma and I were sitting. "Is Carlos back to town yet?" she asked as she started folding towels that had just come out of the dryer.

"Yes, he got back into town yesterday. He's been busy trying to get caught up at his office, since he's been gone almost a month."

"Did he tell you what he was doing?" Grandma asked, helping my mom with the folding.

I shook my head. "The work he does for the government is confidential. I know not to ask because he can't tell me."

"Ooo, I bet he's an assassin. Like James Bond or something," Grandma said.

I snorted while my mother turned white. "I don't think he's an assassin, Grandma."

"I should hope not," my mother said. "I don't want my potential future son-in-law to be killing people."

I left that comment well alone.

"I don't know about the future son-in-law part per se, Mom, but he is moving in with me," I informed her.

Grandma's eyes lit up. "That's wonderful. Think of all the hot sex you'll get to have whenever you want."

There was a stunned silence for a minute before my mother made the sign of the cross and my father turned up the television to an almost deafening volume.

"Well, this has been fun," I said standing up. "But I need to get to the store. See you later."

I hurried out of the house, avoiding my dad's eye and climbed into the Cayenne. If Ranger can survive my family, I decided as I pulled away from the curb, then our relationship should be pretty solid.

The grocery store was packed full of people who had been trapped in their homes the last few days, so it took me nearly two hours to get everything I needed and to pay for my purchases, time which had included wrestling a gallon of milk away from a woman who had tried to grab it seconds after I had my hand on it. When I arrived home, a Rangeman SUV was parked in front of the house again. I parked in the garage and started unloading groceries. I had managed to get all of the groceries in one trip, nearly breaking my arms in the process. I was starting to unload the bags when Ranger came in the kitchen.

"Ella had some of my stuff packed, so I brought it over. She'll have the rest finished by the time I leave this evening," he told me.

"What time do you think you'll be home? I can have dinner ready."

Something akin to amused affection glinted in Ranger's eyes. "I'll be home by seven at the latest, Mrs. Cleaver."

I threw a packet of shredded cheese at him as he walked away, making him laugh.

By six-thirty, I had salad made and waiting in the fridge and a lasagna in the oven. So the lasagna was frozen, but Ranger didn't need to know that. I had transferred it from the cardboard carton and into a glass baking dish that I'd bought at the store before I put it in the oven. I had made the salad by myself, so I didn't feel like a total fraud. I was cutting a load of French bread when the back door opened and Ranger came in, carrying two suitcases, which I presumed contained clothes. I had peeked in the boxes Ella had packed earlier and found that she had sent over just about everything from his apartment except clothes. I had been itching to take out the sheets and put them on my bed — _our bed_ , I mentally corrected myself —, but I didn't want to look presumptuous. He carried the suitcases past me and up the stairs. When he came back down, he had taken off his coat and the utility belt he always wore when on the job.

Ranger came and wrapped his arms around my waist and kissing me on the neck. "I feel like I'm supposed to say 'Honey, I'm home' or something," he said.

I chuckled. "Have you ever lived with anyone before?"

Ranger shook his head. "No, this is new territory for me. I was still in the Army when Rachel and I were married, so I was gone almost the entire time except when I came back when Julie was born."

I nodded. I hadn't moved in with Dickie until after we were married and had moved back out nine months later when I found him with Joyce in the dining room. Morelli and I had tried living together a couple of times, but it had only lasted less than a year in total.

"My cohabitating experiences haven't been that great, but I think you and I will fare better. The few times we've stayed together temporarily have gone well. You're pretty easy to live with," I told him as I took the bread to the table.

Ranger went over to one of the cabinets and pulled out a bottle of wine and grabbed the corkscrew out of a drawer. "I'll try to keep it that way."

We ate a quiet, but comfortable dinner. Ranger commented on whether Marie Calendar or Stouffer's was to thank for the delicious dinner. My look of guilty shock had earned me a full-on smile and I reciprocated with a stiff middle finger.

After we put our dishes away, I went upstairs to help him unpack his possessions. I opened up the box with the sheets first and moaned slightly as I hugged a set to my chest, rubbing my cheek against the orgasmic material.

"I love these sheets," I said. "We are definitely putting a set on the bed tonight."

Ranger was in the middle of unpacking office supplies and putting them in the desk that we now shared. "They're just sheets, babe. What happens between them is much better."

"Yes, I do seem to vaguely recollect these fun activities that happen between sheets, and on sofas and in Turbos."

I had put myself in a standing-in-the-middle-of-the-seesaw moment with that comment. I had followed his therapist's advice of making him aware that I still wanted him while not pushing him before he might be ready. Ranger had watched me closely after that comment, and I held his gaze for a moment before standing up and taking the box of sheets with me. I put all but one set in the linen closet, which I then proceeded to put on the bed. I really missed sex—not just the orgasms and excitement of it, but because of the intimacy it gave me with Ranger. Morelli had been a dirty, hot, wild sex style that was fun, but got old after a while when you wanted slow and tender lovemaking. Ranger had somehow managed to combine the tenderness of lovemaking with the lust and intensity of wild gorilla sex, which made it spectacular. It also was the time when I would see Ranger at his most vulnerable. When he was in the middle of sex, he couldn't maintain his neutrality and zen-calm. The ecstasy of it all was clear on his face and in his voice. We hadn't had that in over a month and it was starting to wear on me, especially when we'd been going through such an emotional time.

We spent another two hours unpacking and putting things away before everything was done. We hadn't spoken any more, but I knew he must be thinking about the comment I made. My emotions had kept vacillating between having done the right thing to worrying that he might be upset with me. I was in another worrying stage when he came into the bedroom as I was getting dressed for bed. He came up to me and stood in front of me, though he didn't touch me.

"Are you sure you want this?" Ranger asked quietly.

I nodded and took a step closer to him, running my hands up his chest to his shoulders. Bending down, Ranger kissed me softly, putting his hands on my bare waist. The kiss became more intense and within a couple of minutes, we were both naked and ready for action. He slid into me and steadied himself for a minute, closing his eyes and kissing along my neck. I felt nervous, almost like a virgin, as I waited for him to move inside me. I was worried about how this first encounter was going to go and how he was going to feel during it. My body was aching for him, but I worried my mind might interfere with my enjoyment. After what felt like an eternity, Ranger started thrusting into me, his eyes opening and focusing deeply into mine. I had never had such an awkward sexual encounter with Ranger before and for the first time, I was wishing for it to hurry up and be over with. I could see fear and pain in his eyes as he moved, which only drove me further from completion. I could tell he was trying, but Ranger was nowhere near his normal game and we both knew it. I knew he wasn't going to stop until I finished, so I started acting like I was close, moaning and tightening around him. Ranger stopped and rolled off of me to lie next to me and stared at the ceiling.

"You didn't finish," I told him, noticing his full erection.

"Neither did you," he said, not looking at me. "Don't try to fake it with me, Stephanie. It's insulting."

"I'm sorry," I told him, rolling over to face him. "Why didn't you just say something? I didn't want you to think that I didn't want you, but I could tell from the look in your eyes that this was really hard for you."

Ranger continued to stare at the ceiling for a few minutes, not answering me or giving any indication that he heard me. I was just about to get out of bed and get dressed when he finally spoke.

"I want to be more normal again, but it's difficult. I've worried about how you would feel about me, even though I know you've told me you still want me. The nightmares about what happened to me aren't as bad anymore, but now I've started worrying about you getting raped. I've been going back to that day that Joe York had you and what might have happened had I not known where you were going and been on my way to help you. I told myself tonight that I was ready, and I was to an extent. I really want to be with you. After everything I've been through and how much you've supported me, I know that I love you more than ever. And this will fix itself, but I think I need more time. And maybe to take it more slowly."

I felt tears slip out of my eyes despite my effort not to cry. The pain in his voice, no matter hard he tried to hide it, was evident. I put my hand on his cheek and urged him to look at me. When he finally acquiesced, I leaned over and gave him a soft kiss.

"I will do whatever it is you need me to do," I said. "We're in this together."


	17. Viva La Vida

_A/N: This chapter is from Ranger's point of view._

The pounding of my feet on the treadmill and the whirl of the belt were the only sounds in the room as I tried to focus my mind on productive thoughts and push aside the painful questions that had been running through my brain earlier. It was just after one in the morning, and as expected I was the only one in the Rangeman gym. Stephanie had finally gone to sleep and I had left quietly, knowing that my anxiety would only intensify by lying awake in the dark.

I'd refused any medications to treat my anxiety, as the pills would only dull the emotion when the real treatment is to confront problem head on, adapt and move on. I knew I'd made progress since that first night when I came back and snapped, but there was still plenty of room for improvement.

I could have never imagined this four years ago—me, Carlos Manoso, in a committed relationship. I had long ago told myself that no woman should ever be sullied with me as her partner. I'd had short-term relationships since, but they'd been emotionally one-sided and had simply fulfilled a physical need in me. I'd been so determined to keep everyone at arm's length that I even let another man become father to my daughter, telling myself her life was better without me.

But then I had to meet what surely was the most pathetic creature to enter bond enforcement. I had never worked with someone so green, so it was refreshing, albeit aggravating at times to mentor Stephanie Plum. Her hatred of guns, her belief in the good in people and tendency to plaster her emotions all over her face had promised to be a deadly combination for her. And her drive, stubbornness, compassion, and body proved to be a deadly combination for me.

I had become immensely attracted to her, finding myself thinking more often than I should have about the night when I'd had to rescue her while she stood handcuffed and naked in her bathroom. I had told myself it was just lust —I would eventually get her in bed and get it out of my system, able to refocus my thoughts and emotions where they should be. I had gotten her in bed and slaked my lust, but instead of leaving my system, the feelings I had for her showed their true nature: I had fallen in love for the first time in my adult life. I'd sent her back to Morelli, telling myself I could just keep her as a friend, ignoring the affection I felt. But as I held my gun to Eddie Abruzzi's head while he wrote his suicide note under the threat that I'd kill his family, I knew I was going to love Stephanie Plum until I took my last breath. It was the first time I had ever killed anyone that wasn't on an order from the Army or in self-defense, proving to myself that I would do anything to keep her safe.

My fear for her life in dangerous situations has only ever been trumped by the fear I felt when Tank informed me that Morelli was going to Camden to work for the state police. I had immediately called my lawyers to say that they needed to expedite the ownership transfers on the Rangeman offices so that I could return to Trenton, as anything else could be faxed or emailed to me. It had taken five agonizing days, but I finally managed to get everything settled so that I could leave. My first stop had been to her apartment. I didn't know where she was, and had refrained from calling the control room to see where her GPS placed her. Everyone in that building knew I was going to want to know if Stephanie was staying in Trenton, but I didn't have to confirm anything by acting like a desperate, lovesick fool. I'd been relieved when she told me that she and Morelli were permanently over, and curious when she had mentioned Kinsey's wedding rehearsal. I had felt an emotion run through me that I had never known before as I had watched her walk down that aisle towards me. I had never wanted to get married again, telling myself it was better that way. When I had fallen in love with Stephanie, I had told myself that I would never get too seriously involved with her romantically because she would eventually want what I wouldn't give her. But in the thirty seconds it had taken her to walk from the back of the church to the altar, I had allowed myself to suspend reality momentarily to pretend it was her marrying me, and in that moment, I knew that I was a changed man. She had thankfully interrupted my thoughts when she nearly crashed into the bridesmaid in front of her. Hearing her say she'd been going through something similar had given me the nerve to tell her that if she really wanted me, past and all, she could have me. I'd left her apartment scared shitless by what I had just done, but knew that I had meant it.

My trip to Bolivia had been difficult, as I'd had to work harder than ever to put Stephanie out of my mind and stay focused on my job. When I'd landed back in Newark and checked my messages, I had never expected to hear her voice telling me that she loved me and wanted to be with me. I had repeated her message five times while I waited for my luggage, the words washing over me like a baptism, cleansing my heart and giving me a new chance. Making love to her that night had also felt like a new experience. I had fully invested my emotions into her, and she had been more at peace and consumed as well since she no longer had the guilt of Morelli weighing on her.

The day Kinsey had called me to tell me that Amanda was pregnant, I had congratulated him and told him that we must be getting soft in our old ages, considering I was finally settling into a committed relationship with Stephanie. Kinsey had laughed, saying it had been obvious from the first time he saw us together that I would walk through fire for her, and that Amanda and Stephanie must be the most amazing women on the planet if they could elicit such feelings from the two of us. I couldn't have imagined that I'd be speaking at Kinsey's funeral only a week later, looking out at those women who had brought two of the most emotionally-cutoff men in the world to their knees. I had taken Stephanie home and into bed, not sure of what my intentions were. I had very seriously considered leaving her as we had driven back to the house; her knowledge that I had killed Abruzzi had shaken me to my core. I had nearly come unglued while we had sex, and when I hurried out of her bedroom and she stopped me at the top of the stairs, I had thought it may very well be the last time I saw her. Tank was one of the only people outside of my family who could have seen the shift in me and knew where my brain had been. He had sent me to the gym to work off my feelings when I had nearly fired Lester for spilling coffee in one of the vehicles. I had beat the bag until I was sure I'd fractured one of my knuckles, but it had made me realize that I was mourning a friend and that I couldn't let go of the best thing to ever happen to me over the fear of the unknown.

Every member of my immediate family had approached me at some point during the weekend of my parents' anniversary to threaten me with some form of bodily harm if I didn't end up marrying Stephanie. They had all seen the change in me, and overwhelmingly approved of it. My mother had told me that when she and my dad had sent me to live with Grandma Bella, they had feared that I would be dead before I turned thirty. Even when I had managed to survive my twenties and start a successful business, she had told my father that while I may have physically survived, she feared my soul had not come with me, leaving me just a shell of a man. She had gone on to say that seeing me with Stephanie had shown her she was wrong, and that she would be able to die in peace one day knowing that I had been able to love someone as much as she and my father had loved each other.

I stopped the treadmill as my mind wandered into the dark corners where I kept the memories of what had happened in Somalia. My thoughts had been consumed with Stephanie, first with telling myself that I would get out of there and back to her somehow. As time had gone on and the torture grew worse, I had started to worry about what may happen if I never came back. I had fought the images of her marrying Morelli in my head until the day the torture took a new and more psychologically destructive turn. I had convinced myself that Stephanie was better off without me when I had been released, escorted by the Special Forces team from the compound where I had been kept for what felt like an eternity to a waiting helicopter. I had managed to keep the sexual assault off the record when I was being debriefed, telling myself that if I compartmentalized the whole thing, I could get through it without ever having to tell a soul. The sound of my own yelling, the breaking of a beer bottle as it smashed against the wall and the look of pure terror on Stephanie's face after being home for one day had told me otherwise. I had fled without a word to her, terrified that I had ruined everything, but hoping that if I could get the help I so obviously needed, I could repair the damage to my mind and our relationship. Words could not express how I felt the night I found that Stephanie had driven five hours in a snow storm to tell me she loved me and to try to apologize for pushing me. I had gone down to her car to get her stuff just to give myself time to pull it together, as I had nearly broken down in front of her.

I had been absolutely sick when I told her about what happened in Somalia, terrified that she would recoil with disgust and leave, not wanting to touch a man who hadn't been able to fight off his attackers. Instead she had loved me and supported me, doing what she could to find out how to help me overcome the feelings of guilt and shame. I had lied to her about what time my appointment was with Dr. Rodriguez, telling her to get started back to Trenton while I went to his office. I had finished my appointment with Rodriguez early in the day before going on to another appointment that I had never thought I would make, even after Stephanie and I had started seeing one another exclusively. It had been a surreal experience, and it still amazed me a day later that I had even done it. But I knew it wasn't a mistake, and that I would be a better man someday because of it.

I went back to my new home and crawled back into bed with the woman I loved, hoping against hope that I could spend the rest of my life showing her just how much she meant to me.

I woke up the next morning wondering if Stephanie would be feeling awkward about what had happened the night before. Her side of the bed was empty and I could smell coffee wafting upstairs. I showered and dressed for work before heading downstairs. When I walked into the kitchen, I found Stephanie sitting on one of the stools at the breakfast bar, Rex's hamster cage in front of her. She wasn't moving to feed him or to clean the cage, but was simply staring at the cage. I walked up behind her to see what she was staring at.

"What's going on?"

Stephanie let out a sniffle and a tear fell down her cheek. "I think Rex is dead."

Not what I had been expecting to hear. "Are you sure he isn't just sleeping?"

"I've been trying to tell myself to just open the cage and pick him up to find out, but I can't bring myself to do it. It would make it real."

I have never understood her affection for a rodent, but knew he was important to her. He provided her with an outlet for the maternal instincts that she didn't think she had or that weren't ready to be channeled into offspring. He had also been another body, albeit a small one, in her home whenever she and Morelli were on the outs. She told me once she had bought him after she had separated from her ex-husband so that she wouldn't feel so lonely. Was it just a coincidence that he died the day after I move in with her, or an indicator of her own emotional state?

I nearly smacked myself in the forehead. Too much time in therapy was making me think like Rodriguez.

I opened the hamster cage and put my hand into the soup can where the hamster normally slept, pulling out the still body. I held him flat in the palm of my hand, noting his closed eyes and lack of breathing. More tears fell down Stephanie's cheeks as she stroked him with one finger and told him she loved him. After a moment, she got up and found a box of hamster nuggets, emptying the box into the trash and bringing it over for me to the put the hamster inside.

"I would bury him in the backyard, but the ground's frozen and there's too much snow," she said, not meeting my eyes. "I can't—could you?"

She couldn't bring herself to throw him in the garbage was the unspoken statement, requesting that I do it for her. I put the box down on the counter and pulled her into a hug, kissing the top of her head. This weekend was not proving to be one of our happiest on record. If it kept going at this rate, we'd probably be eating bullets for breakfast on Monday.

"Go take a shower and get dressed," I told her. "I'll take care of Rex."

When she went upstairs, I put on my coat and walked outside, intending to toss the box into the large garbage tote in the alley. I stood there for a second, willing myself to lift the lid and toss the box inside, but could only think about the pain on Stephanie's face when she realized she couldn't bury her beloved pet.

"Goddamnit," I said as I ran back inside to get my car keys. I unlocked my car and got inside, tossing the box on the passenger seat and backing out of the driveway. Fifteen minutes later, I got out of the car, bringing with me a cheap plastic flower pot and the smallest bag of potting soil the home improvement store had sold. I set the pot on the back porch, put the box in the bottom and filled it with some of the soil. I put the bag of remaining soil in the garage and headed back inside to find Stephanie coming downstairs, freshly showered and dressed in jeans and a blue long-sleeved Rangers t-shirt.

She saw me standing in my coat and sadness shown on her face. I crooked a finger at her in a 'come here' motion and she walked over to me. I pulled her to the back door and opened it up to allow her to see the pot.

"Rex's temporary resting place. You can transfer him to the yard once it warms up," I indicated.

A look of shock registered on her face, followed moments later by relief. She looked up at me, her blue eyes swimming with tears once again. "Thank you," she whispered as she hugged me.

I patted her on the back. "Don't mention it. I mean that — _don't_ mention it to anyone that I just did this. I'll deny it until the day you have to bury me in the backyard."

That had earned me a laugh from Stephanie and a small punch to the chest. "I guess I should be grateful that he lived this long. Hamsters aren't supposed to live nine years," she said as we shut the back door. "I can't believe he died the day after you move in with me."

"My overwhelming masculinity was too much for him," I muttered as I poured myself a cup of coffee. I could practically hear Stephanie roll her eyes at me, but she didn't comment further. Ten minutes later, we were both headed out the door. I was going into the office for a few hours and she was going on a donut run to help her pain. If there were ever times when I couldn't find Stephanie, one of my first stops was always _Tasty Pastry_.

I spent the day reviewing the last of the police records from a couple of break-ins that happened while I was in Newark. I was about to move on to the new accounts that were due to be installed on Monday when my cell phone rang. Caller ID told me it was my mother.

"Hola," I said as I connected to the call.

"Hi dear. When did you get home?" she asked pleasantly.

I hesitated momentarily. I could easily lie to terrorists despite their most painful torture techniques, but even I had a hard time lying to my own mother. She also had the uncanny sense of knowing when I tried to do it, no matter how convincing I was to anyone else.

"I got back to Jersey right after Thanksgiving, but had to take some time away," I told her, preparing for her probing questions.

There was silence on the other end of the phone. "Something bad happened to you while you were away, right? I could tell something was off when Pierre called to say your trip had been extended."

If mothers ran the world, there would be no wars or genocide. Spies would be thwarted at every attempt to steal information from a foreign government. Everyone would get begrudgingly get along, petty skirmishes would be quashed with a look and we'd all eat our vegetables. I've always had a soft spot for strong-willed women, likely because of growing up in a household full of them.

"Yes, but I don't want to talk about it right now."

My mother knew me well enough to not push me on it at the moment, but I knew I couldn't keep things from her for long. Confidentiality meant nothing to my mother.

"Okay, well the reason I called was because I wanted to see what you and Stephanie had planned for Christmas. I'd love for you two to come up for dinner since you missed Thanksgiving, but didn't know if you had plans with her family that would interfere with our normal routine."

I'd nearly forgotten Christmas was so close. I'd been so wrapped up in my own shit that I had neglected holiday responsibilities, including sending my siblings money to buy their children a gift from me, as there were too many of them to go shopping for these days. I also had to get Julie's gift purchased and mailed to Miami, and this was the first Christmas I was with Stephanie, so I knew I should get her something. I resisted the urge to beat my head against the desk.

"I'm not sure. I've been so busy I forgot about Christmas. I'll call Steph and get back to you later today," I told her. I disconnected and immediately called Stephanie. My mother wasn't very patient and would be calling me back in short order with the expectation that I had talked to Stephanie.

"What do you typically do with your family for Christmas?" I asked Stephanie when she answered my call.

"We go to Mass that morning and then my mother and grandmother spend the rest of the morning and early afternoon fixing everything while simultaneously telling me that I should be helping them while shooting me down whenever I offer to help with anything. We eat in our normal fashion, drink more wine than usual and then sit around opening gifts and watching football. Now that Valerie is back with the kids, we drink even more wine to help us cope with the screaming and noisy toys. I eventually make it back home Christmas night drunk and laden with leftovers."

I snorted. "My mother wants us to come up to Newark for Christmas dinner with them. My family celebrates on Christmas Eve, since everyone has in-laws that also want to see them and I typically work Christmas day for a while to let some of my men have the day off. We are expected to be there by noon, we eat in the evening and then go to Midnight Mass together," I told her. "Do you want to come with me?"

"Of course," Stephanie replied. "But you need to come with me to my family's dinner as well. We'd never hear the end of it if you skipped out. Nothing short of death gets you a pass on a holiday with my mother. Even then, I'm fairly certain she'd sit your carcass at the table _Weekend at Bernie's_ -style and make us all suffer through dinner before finally deciding to call in the undertaker."

"Just let me know what time I should be there. I typically work most of the day, as we run on skeleton crews during holidays, but I can get away for a little while, especially mid-day. We are busiest earlier in the morning when little kids get up early to look for Christmas presents and trip the motion sensors or in the evening, when people come home drunk and forget their alarm codes or burglars decide to ruin someone's day by stealing their new iPad," I finished, recalling last year's calls.

"Sounds good. I've been trying to figure out something to give you for Christmas and I've got nothing. What do you give the man who can have anything and wants nothing?"

I chuckled. "You asked me to move in with you, so I think that can qualify as a gift. If you insist on something for me to open, I suggest you put on something sexy and tie a ribbon around yourself. I'll open you up and play with you all morning long."

Stephanie chuckled quietly, and I knew we were both hoping I could fulfill that promise.


	18. O Holy Night

_A/N: Back to Ms. Plum's view of the world._

I was standing in my dark green bra and matching panties, staring into my closet. I had two outfits that I was contemplating, but couldn't decide between them. One was the blue dress I saved for family occasions that made my butt look good and the other was a pair of black dress pants with a green silk wrap shirt that showed some cleavage. I was debating whether I wanted to have a nice ass or nice boobs when Ranger walked in. He was wearing a black cashmere sweater, black dress slacks and black loafers. He smiled when he saw me nearly naked.

"Babe, as much as I love what you're wearing, I don't particularly want to have the men in my family ogling you along with me. That's not our idea of bonding."

I grabbed my two choices of outfit and presented them to Ranger. "Which one should I wear today?"

Ranger looked them both over before pointing to the green shirt. "I like seeing you show some cleavage."

I winked at him and pulled on the shirt and pants quickly, grabbing a pair of black pumps to complete the outfit. I did a last minute make-up and hair check before grabbing my coat and purse and following Ranger downstairs. Ranger had told me that his family only bought gifts for the children, so I was spared the need to buy anyone a gift, and since he just sent his siblings money to buy the children gifts from him, we didn't have to worry about dragging them with us to Newark. We took the Cayenne up to Newark this time, as the roads were still a little icy from a light snow fall the night before. We were going to his parents' home, which was where Ranger had grown up prior to moving to Miami. I remembered the neighborhood being somewhat scary when I had visited it with him once before, but it had been because we had to travel through bad areas in order to get to it.

"We need to stop at the train station and pick up my sisters," Ranger told me as we made a detour. "My parents don't have the room for everyone's cars in their driveway, so Silvia and Aurelia have always taken the train into Newark and someone picks them up. It's my turn this time. We'll be a little less crowded this year, since Michael won't be here."

"He's not coming?" I asked, recalling the troubles that seemed to be plaguing the marriage when I'd met him and Silvia over the summer.

"They separated at the beginning of November and Silvia filed for divorce a couple of weeks ago," he replied. "My mother told me when I talked to her the other day."

"Oh, that's too bad."

Ranger shrugged. "Silvia's always been more like me in the relationship department. Neither of us has followed in our older siblings' footsteps of settling down with families. I was surprised when she married Michael a few years ago, but knew it wasn't likely to last. I hate to say this, but my sister's a bit of slut."

I snorted and tried not to laugh. It was one thing to make fun of your own sibling, but different if someone else did it. Not that I thought Ranger would be upset with me, but I didn't want to risk it.

Ranger called Aurelia's cell phone and told her where he was parked once we got to the train station lot. We had been waiting for about five minutes when we saw Aurelia and John cross the lot, both carrying small overnight bags, followed by Silvia. John was on his cell phone and Aurelia and Silvia were chatting animatedly. They opened the cargo area of the Cayenne and put their bags in the back before piling into the car. We exchanged greetings with everyone but John, who had shot dirty looks at all of us while continuing to converse in what sounded like Chinese.

It took us another twenty minutes before we were pulling into an alley behind a row of large older homes that had been well-maintained. Ranger pulled into a driveway behind a two-story red brick home with a detached garage. There was a dark blue SUV, a dark red Camry and a silver minivan already forming parking spots two wide and two deep behind the garage. Ranger pulled in behind the Camry and we all climbed out of the Cayenne. Ranger grabbed my hand and led the way to a back door. He opened the door and called out a greeting. We were met by a cacophony of "Uncle Carlos!" and several children came running to the door. I had seen them at the anniversary party, but not met them officially, as they had been running around talking to their more distant relative and neighbors. The little children hugged his legs while the older ones ambled around him, asking questions and wanting to show him things, trying to shout over one another. The girls got excited to see Silvia come in behind us and ran to hug her, allowing us to walk through the tiny mud room and into the kitchen, which was filled with wonderful aromas of garlic, roasted pork and a pleasant smell of something I didn't recognize. Every bit of the kitchen's island and counter space was filled with food in various stages of completion. I saw Lola and Grandma Rosa busy transferring foods from mixing bowls into pans to be put in the oven, speaking rapid Spanish and pointing to various things in the kitchen. Celia was carrying dishes from the kitchen to what I presumed was the dining room. I could hear Emilio's voice coming from somewhere else in the house, followed by Andres's booming laugh. The kids ran out of the room when Celia yelled at them to go back to the family room. I noticed the children hadn't run up to John and Aurelia the way they had to Ranger and Silvia. Lola wiped her hands on a dish towel and came to greet us.

"Carlos, _mijo,"_ she said, kissing Ranger on the cheek and giving him a prolonged hug. I wondered how much she knew about his time away, but suspected she must have known it wasn't good, based on the expression on her face. She pulled away from him and embraced me as well.

"It's wonderful to see you again, Stephanie. I'm so happy you could join us."

I hugged her back. "Thank you for inviting me."

Lola pulled away and waved a hand. "You're family now, even if my son hasn't made it legal yet," she said giving him a look that I'd seen my own mother give me a million times when talking about marriage.

Ranger shook his head in mock disgust. "Cuban, Italian, or Hungarian—all mothers are the same at the end of the day."

Ranger went over to his grandmother and gave her a kiss on the cheek as she stirred a pot on the stove. They greeted one another in Spanish and I gave her a little wave and I moved towards the doorway on the other side of the room. I walked through and into the dining room, which had a long table decorated with a white table cloth and red taper candles in golden holders. White dishes with green designs shined next to sparkling goblets. I could see that a smaller table was set up in what looked like a family room, and I presumed that was the kids' table.

Lucy walked in from the family room, her pregnant belly looking ready to burst under a blue maternity dress. She looked good, considering how enormous her belly was, but I could tell she was tired of being pregnant.

"Hey," she said, giving me a hug that was made a little awkward by her big belly. "I'm so glad you're here, Stephanie. Welcome to the chaos of another Manoso family gathering."

I smiled back at her. "Thanks. You look great. When are the babies due?"

She put a hand on her abdomen. "In two weeks, but I don't think I can stand another two more hours. I am ready to for these kids to come out already. The doctor told us if we wanted to get labor started, we should have a lot of sex. So if Emilio and I keep disappearing during the day, you know why. I expect you two to cover for us, if people comment on our absences."

Ranger laughed. "Only if you return the favor," he teased, accepting a beer from Emilio, who had just joined us.

"I bet you and Stephanie go at it like rabbits," Emilio said, punching his brother in the arm. "Leave it to those of us who will be sleepless for the next year to enjoy our last few moments of bliss."

I laughed, trying not to think about how long it had been since Ranger and I had actually had sex. He took a swig of his beer, indicating that he was probably thinking along the same wavelength as me.

Javier greeted us warmly a few minutes after we arrived and asked what I would like to drink. I chose a white wine and thanked him when he brought it back moments later. We went to stand over in the corner of the room to avoid being in Celia's way and chatted with Lucy and Emilio about their restaurant and their plans for having help once the twins were born. I could see Sofia in the family room, trying to keep her younger children out of Christmas presents that were piled in the corner under a small Christmas tree.

I loved the dynamics of Ranger's family. They clearly loved one another, with the possible exception of John, and were comfortable with the chaos. It reminded me a little of my family, only larger, Cuban and minus a kid who thought she was a horse and a grandma who thought she was a teenager.

Lucy and Emilio had excused themselves to start on Operation: Labor and Antonio had come up to Ranger, asking how his business was going and asked if he had ever considered expanding in Jersey to cover Newark now that he didn't have to worry about the Atlanta and Boston offices. I excused myself and went to talk to Sofia, who was looking a little overwhelmed with kids.

"Hey, can I help you with anything?" I asked, setting down my wine glass and joining her on the sofa.

Sofia shook her head. "Thanks, but it's mostly just playing referee. Trying to keep Maria and Leo out of the gifts in the hardest."

Maria looked to be about three and Leo was probably five or six. They both looked just like Sofia.

I chatted benignly with Sofia for a few minutes before getting back up to join Ranger, who was walking towards me. We met up in the doorway between the family room and the dining room. Before I could open my mouth to say anything, Emilio's voice boomed from the stairwell.

"Uh-oh, it's Hollywood time!"

The whole room turned to look at me and Ranger, who gave a large sigh and looked up. I followed his gaze to find a sprig of mistletoe hanging above us.

"Oh boy," I said, meeting his gaze. "But what is this Hollywood thing?"

I turned to look at the room of people and saw that even Lola and Grandma Rosa had come out of the kitchen to watch us.

"It's a Manoso tradition," Lucy told me as she came the rest of the way down the stairs. "Whenever a couple gets caught under the mistletoe together, they have to do a Hollywood kiss. You know, the man dips the woman and kisses her thing that you see in old movies."

Oh great. Ranger was not the type to be so dramatic and physically expressive in front of others, but I got the feeling he wouldn't be able to avoid this.

"We've never seen Carlos in action before," Andres piped up. "I can't wait to see this."

Ranger gave me a mischievous smile before grabbing me and dipping me low, one had on my lower back and the other at my neck. He pressed his lips to mine in a tender, but sexier kiss than I thought he would do in front of his family. After a few seconds, he stood us up to a room that whooped and applauded. He shrugged and winked at me while I was a little flushed from being dipped and righted so quickly, not counting the kiss that had made my nipples hard. Thank God for padded bras.

Lucy fanned herself and Emilio patted Ranger on the back. "Damn, Carlos. I need to be careful or Lucy might be trying to hit you up to get her into labor."

The rest of the afternoon went very well, though Ranger and I avoided the doorway between the dining room and the family room. Celia and Andres had been made to go through the Hollywood routine, as had Emilio and Lucy. I noticed Ranger go into the kitchen and talk to his mother while dinner was baking or boiling on the stove. I was talking to Celia about being a BEA, but kept glancing through the doorway to see how Ranger was doing, as he and his mom looked to be having a serious conversation and I thought I'd seen her wipe her eyes more than once. After what felt like an eternity, I saw Lola give Ranger a hug, pulling away to pat his face and say something serious. He nodded and caught me watching them, saying something that caused Lola to look my way. I gave a small wave and smile and turned back to Celia, who was talking about the frustrations of teaching children in today's world of constant standardized testing.

Dinner was served at six on the dot, with the adults crowding around the long dining table and the six children going to the other room. Celia's fourteen-year-old daughter Katrina moaned and groaned about having to sit at the kids' table, but her mother reminded her she was there to make sure everyone behaved themselves and that she could join the adults next year. I took a spot between Ranger and Lucy, who was looking pale and tired, saying her back was hurting. Javier led the family in prayer and after we made the sign of the cross, everyone began dishing out roasted pork, rice and black beans, fried plantains and salad. Everyone talked and laughed, telling stories of Christmases past. Ranger was a little quieter than he had been at his parents' anniversary dinner, and I suspected it was because of whatever he had told his mother. Lucy was growing increasingly uncomfortable next to me and said she didn't feel very hungry. Lola had just brought out the flan for dessert when Lucy let out a shriek.

"Oh, I think my water just broke!"

Pandemonium.

Ranger and I stayed in our seats while Emilio, Lola and Celia began running over to Lucy asking her about contractions and calling the doctor. The kids took the opportunity to start having a food fight in the other room, requiring Andres to go in and start yelling. Emilio left the room to call Lucy's OB and Celia and Lola started making preparations to get Lucy to the hospital. Ten minutes later, order had started to come back around. Ranger had gone to move the Cayenne to let Lucy and Emilio's Camry out for them to go to the hospital. They promised to call with updates about the babies as soon as they knew anything. Another unusual Manoso tradition was revealed to me after dinner was over: the men have to do the clean-up duty. I was particularly surprised, given Latino cultural and machismo and all of that, but the guys didn't complain or think twice about clearing the tables, doing the dishes and taking out the garbage. I enjoyed watching Ranger clear the table and dry dishes that were being washed by John, since the only domestic things I had ever seen him do were rinse dishes to put in the dishwasher, and I'd once seen him turn on the broiler to toast a bagel when the toaster was broken.

Around eighty-thirty, Emilio called to say that Lucy would be undergoing a Cesarean at nine for the babies' delivery. Celia declared it was time for the kids to start opening their presents and then she, Javier, Lola, Grandma Rosa and whoever else wanted to go would leave for the hospital to see the babies before Mass. Sofia said it was her turn this year to go to Mass and Antonio would be taking the three younger kids home to get ready for bed. The rest of women in the family planned to go to hospital and looked at me expectantly. I glanced at Ranger who raised an eyebrow in a manner that said 'it's your call'. I returned with shrug that said 'what the hell, I'll go'. Ranger, Andres, and John stayed behind to watch the three remaining kids, who complained loudly about not getting to go to the hospital. We took the Cayenne and Celia's SUV to the hospital and were told to go up to the fifth floor. We had to sign in at the reception desk and were told we could go back in groups of four to see Lucy and the twins. She'd had a boy that they had named Liam, and a little girl they had named Layla. Celia, Javier, Rosa and Lola had gone in first, while Sofia, Silvia, Aurelia and I hung out in the waiting room. Every few minutes, we would hear a lullaby playing over the speakers, which Sofia stated was the indication that another baby had been born. We got to go in fifteen minutes later and see the babies and Lucy, who was still a little dopey from pain-killers. Emilio was shining with pride over his new children. I held one of the babies, the girl I think, and passed her along. I took photos of each baby with my phone to show Ranger when we got back to the Manoso's house. As we walked out of the hospital, I heard Lola say something to the rest of the group in Spanish. They all nodded and walked over to Celia's SUV, leaving me and Lola to ride in the Cayenne.

"Carlos told me about what happened in Somalia," she began once we were in the car and I was trying to find the exit to the parking garage. "He didn't go into too many details, but I can read between the lines. I was absolutely horrified to think of my son going through so much pain, both physically and emotionally, but he told me how wonderful you have been and how much you have supported him and that made me feel more hopeful about his recovery." Lola started to tear up and wiped her eyes.

"I just wanted to say thank you for loving my son so much and for sticking it out with him. If you can survive such a horrific trauma, you can survive anything."

I felt my own throat swell up as she spoke and blinked away tears so that I didn't crash into a median. "It's not been easy, and most of the time I feel like I'm walking in the dark, but he tells me that I am helping him and he has gotten better in the past few weeks." I refrained from mentioning our lack of a sex life. I knew without a doubt that Ranger would have never talked to his mother about that.

Lola patted my shoulder and we rode the rest of the way in silence, except for her directions on where to turn to get back to her house. We walked inside to find Ranger regaling his nephews and Andres with a story about catching an FTA out on the Point Pleasant boardwalk, which had sent the eleven year old boys into hysterics. Katrina was listening and painting her nails a bright red color that she had been given as a gift. John was glued to his cell phone in the corner. I quickly wondered if John even used his cell phone when having sex. If so, I at least hope he had the decency to use Bluetooth.

I showed Ranger the pictures of his new niece and nephew and we had to listen to fifteen minutes of his mother and sisters telling him how great I looked holding a baby. Ranger informed them that he had seen me hold my niece when she was born, but they ignored him.

We left for Mass at eleven fifteen and were able to find enough seats together in a pew for the entire family. When the songs started during the Mass, I found myself not singing very loudly in order to hear Ranger sing, which was a new experience. I was amazed at how smooth his voice was and it made me feel a little weepy. Not a difficult feat since we were singing O Holy Night, which had the same effect on me as funerals. I saw Ranger's lips twitch when he saw me wipe away some tears and he put an arm around my waist, pulling me close to him and pressing a kiss into my hair. After Mass was over, we said our good-byes, as Ranger and I were headed back to Trenton. He would be covering a shift starting at six in the morning, so I was going to drive and let him get a jump start on his sleep. Lola and Celia had asked for my phone number so they could call me rather than using Ranger, the non-conversationalist, as a medium. I had found a couple of business cards in my wallet for them and we waved good-bye. Ranger fell asleep once we got on the Turnpike and slept until right before I pulled into my driveway. We walked inside, both exhausted. We got ready for bed and kissed goodnight before zonking out.

I woke up alone the next morning. The clock by the bed told me it was nine, which meant Ranger had left more than three hours earlier. I got in the shower, dressed and went downstairs for coffee and a light snack before Christmas dinner at one that afternoon. I walked over to the coffee pot and found a small black box sitting in front of the coffee maker. A note written in Ranger's handwriting that read "Merry Christmas, Stephanie" rested in front of it. I picked up the box and lifted the lid, finding a pair of sapphire earrings. They were exquisite and I immediately put them in, admiring my reflection in the mirror and how they brought out my eyes. I loved that Ranger had good taste in jewelry and always seemed to know just what to give me. It wasn't much different from his typical form in bed.

I got my coffee and ate some toast before deciding to head over to my parents. I had overslept morning Mass, so I would just get to my parents' house when my mother and grandmother would be there preparing Christmas dinner.

I made it to my parents' by a little after eleven, followed by Valerie, Albert and the girls at noon. The house was in chaos, with the little two girls crying over something or other, Mary Alice galloping around and Albert constantly dropping or knocking over things in his effort to help. Ranger arrived at five minutes to one. He had opened the door and saw the mania that was in full-force. He had the look of a man who was hoping he could back out quietly and walk away without being seen, but I saw him and gave him the look that said he'd regret it if he tried. Ranger sighed and walked in the door, coming into the dining room where I was setting the last of the food on the table. He greeted me with a chaste kiss over the ear.

"Thank you for my earrings," I told him. "They are perfect and bring out my eyes."

He looked like he was thinking of smiling. "That was the plan, babe."

We all sat down at the table and said grace, the only time of the year we did so, and began eating. There were four bottles of wine on the table and all of the adults had a glass except Ranger, who would be going back to work until six that night. Dinner with Ranger's family had been fun and relaxing, even with the drama of Lucy going into labor. Dinner with my family required a bottle of Advil. Grandma and Albert both got shit-faced on the wine, Mary Alice started flinging food at Angie, who responded in earnest. The baby was inconsolable, which meant we had to yell to be heard. I saw the hint of a smile on Ranger's lips.

"What's so funny?" I asked him quietly as I finished up my green beans.

"I used to think my family was insane, but now that I've spent more time with your family, I'm realizing my family is pretty damn normal," he replied, putting his hand on my leg and squeezing my thigh.

I was having a hard time concentrating on what he was saying with his hand on my leg, so I discreetly moved his hand higher up my thigh, so that it was resting almost level with his favorite part of my body. I saw his eyes dilate slightly and I gave him a coy smile. "You'll get your present later," I whispered to him.

I could tell he was excited and I knew we were both hoping tonight would be the night Ranger got his groove back. Ranger declined dessert as usual, excusing himself with the fact that he had told his men he would only be gone an hour and wishing everyone a merry Christmas, though not before Grandma Mazur got up and started dancing the Funky Chicken in an effort to make the baby stop crying. I could tell Ranger nearly lost it at the sight of my grandma flapping her arms.

I left the house around five that evening, having watched the kids open their gifts and part of a football game with my father. I'd managed to not drink as much as usual so that I could stay awake to give Ranger his gift. I went home with leftovers and the new sweater my mother had given me for Christmas. I put away the food and started getting dressed in the sexy black silk nightie I had bought. It fell several inches above my knee, was very low cut and easily removed. I also put on the do-me heels again, as Ranger loved seeing me in high heels. I was just lighting candles when I heard him come in the back door and call out my name.

"Upstairs," I yelled, sitting on the corner of the bed nearest the door. I crossed my legs and hoped I looked sexy. Ranger came up the stairs and smiled when he saw me. I stood up and gave him a sexy, meaningful kiss.

"Merry Christmas. Do you like?" I asked, waving my arms up and down my body like a Bob Barker Beauty showing off a prize.

Ranger took my hand and pressed it to his groin, which was very hard. "Does that answer your question?"

He had left his utility belt downstairs, so getting him undressed wasn't as complicated an event as it had been in the past. He was completely naked first, leaving me in my heels and negligee. He moved one of the straps down my arm, kissing my shoulder before repeating the same movement on the other strap. I pulled my arms out of straps and let the black silk pool at my feet. Ranger pushed me down onto the bed, but knelt on the floor beside the bed rather than climbing on top of me. He had his mouth on me, making me writhe and groan, giving me an orgasm in record time. Feeling more relaxed, I scooted up higher in the bed so that he could get in with me. He kissed me again, and slid into me at the same time. I could feel him tense up a little as he started thrusting into me, but I kept kissing him, whispering his name and telling him how much I loved him. It didn't take long for the both of us to moan loudly, feeling satisfied and elated that we had finally been able to have sex. It hadn't been as perfect as it typically was, but it had surely been better than our last attempt.

I cuddled into Ranger as we fell asleep, thinking that surely by the New Year, we would be almost completely back to normal.


	19. Auld Lang Syne

In the week leading up to New Year's Eve, Ranger's mood seemed lighter than it had been since Somalia. Granted, "lighter" in Ranger still looked as dark as night compared to normal people, but because I knew him well I was able to see the shift. I knew he was still working through some of the trauma, but he was doing much better than anyone else would have been only six weeks on. I would have never been capable of functioning as well as he was at that point. I was still traumatized over Rex's death two weeks ago. Every time I walked past the little flower pot on my porch, my eyes welled up with tears, and I usually had to take a few minutes to pull it together before attempting to drive. Ranger's move to put him there until I could bury him the backyard in the spring had meant more to me than all of the things Morelli had ever done for me.

Over the last few months, I had noticed major differences in Morelli and Ranger outside of the obvious Italian versus Cuban, law man versus mercenary, overtly agitated versus dangerously quiet qualities. Morelli had loved me, I didn't doubt that, but his love had come with a lot of strings. He always hated my job, hated my affiliation with Ranger, and tended point out my flaws more often that I wanted to hear about them. He was constantly trying to change me for a while, but even after he quit trying so hard to make me into someone else, I could tell he was constantly hoping to wake up one day and find a new and improved Stephanie Plum waiting to get married and pop out little Morellis. Ranger was the opposite. He never made any overt moves to change me and didn't complain about my job or my life in general. He simply loved me and wanted to make sure I was safe while doing my thing, which I appreciated tremendously.

When I woke up on New Year's Eve morning, I was surprised to find Ranger still in bed with me at eight o'clock. I softly nudged him, wondering if he had managed something only normal humans do—sleep through the alarm.

"Hey, are you not going into the office this morning?" I asked quietly.

Ranger opened his eyes and shook his head. "I always work New Year's Eve night, so I'm not going in so early. I'm doing patrols alone from six tonight until six in the morning. We need more people in the control center responding to calls due to people either being shit-faced and forgetting about the alarm, or opportunistic criminals."

Of course he was working. That was a good thing about having Ranger as a boss, and a bad thing about having Ranger as a boyfriend. He tried to go a little easier on his employees during the holidays, so he would cover a lot of shifts on those days in order to give people with families the time off they wanted. He seemed to have the arrangements figured out for Thanksgiving and Christmas, but Ranger wasn't used to spending New Year's Eve with anyone. And I wasn't used to spending it alone.

"Can I come out on patrol with you?" I blurted out before I could stop myself.

Ranger looked surprised at my question, but not entirely unhappy. "If that's what you want."

I thought about it for a moment. "I do. Why should we both have to be alone, when I'll just sitting around eating junk food and watching mindless television? At least I'll be more active and less likely to eat my weight in potato chips and Tastykakes by going out with you."

That got a small smile out of Ranger. "Very true, Babe."

Ranger left for the office around two that afternoon, saying he wanted to get some paperwork done, and that he would stop by around six to pick me up for our patrol. I was dressed in Rangeman black and had my black messenger bag stocked with a couple of magazines I had picked up at the store, a bottle of soda to help keep me awake and a bottle of water. I also had a few Butterscotch Tastykakes packed for an emergency, like if Ranger got out of the car and I could scarf one down without him seeing. Ranger didn't allow food in the company vehicles. Especially junk food.

Ranger pulled up at the curb promptly at six, and I ran out to meet him in an effort to both stay warm and to keep my hair from getting too wet from the falling snow and turning into a frizzy nightmare. He had taken off his coat, which was lying in the seat behind him and was wearing a long-sleeved Rangeman T-shirt. Once I was inside and buckled in, he reached between the seats and handed me a utility belt.

"Gun, stun gun, pepper spray," he replied as I took it and he pulled away from the curb.

"Didn't you think I'd bring this stuff with me?"

"Did you?"

"Well, no. But it was despicable of you to presume I wouldn't."

Ranger shook his head. He was probably thinking it was going to be a long night and that before it was over, he'd want to use his gun on one of us. Likely me.

We did brief patrols through some of the wealthier neighborhoods in Trenton, Whitehorse and Hamilton Township. We saw lots of people either headed out to parties or cars filling driveways to attend the parties. The Rangeman center called every half hour with an update, which so far had been quiet. We finished our initial residential patrols and began doing patrols on some buildings that Rangeman was keeping clear of clutter, which I presumed meant drug dealers, prostitutes and the homeless. We stopped and did walk-throughs of each building, checking the apartments for signs of squatters.

By ten-thirty however, I was starting to get incredibly bored. Not that I wanted to be chasing after someone or being shot at while on the job with Ranger, but the tedium was killing me. Ranger was his typical silent-self, and I had already read both of the magazines I brought with me. I'd also managed to choke down a Tastykake when Ranger had done a walk-through of one of the smaller buildings by himself.

We were driving through downtown Trenton when I made the decision to attempt small talk. It wasn't Ranger's thing, but as his girlfriend I felt I had the right to push him out of his comfort zone a little.

"You've seemed to be doing better the last week or so," I told Ranger.

Ranger shrugged. "Time goes by, it gets easier. Being able to have sex again helps."

"It's only been six weeks; you are the only person I know who could possibly be doing this well after such a short period of time."

Ranger didn't say anything for a moment, but stayed focused on his driving.

"I've figured out why it happened, and I've accepted it," he said quietly.

Something in Ranger's tone and choice of words bothered me, though I couldn't quite place the feeling.

"What does that mean? Why do you think it happened?" I managed to ask a couple of minutes later.

Ranger pulled to a stop in front of a building we were going to be monitoring, as it was a hot bed for drug deals. He turned the car off, but didn't look my way. He kept his gaze on the dilapidated brick building, which had several windows missing and a large chain keeping the double doors closed.

"I've decided it was punishment for some of the wrong I've done in my life."

I felt nauseous at Ranger's words. Did he honestly believe that getting sexually assaulted was a form of karmic retribution for his mercenary lifestyle?

"That is not true, Ranger," I told him, hoping he would look at me. "Sexual assault is a horrific power play by the aggressor, not a punishment for the victim."

Ranger snorted lightly. "For others, yes, but not me. Stephanie, if you knew half the things I've done in my life, you would agree. Hell, you'd probably leave me if you knew."

As I sat and watched him for a few minutes, I knew two things were certain: Ranger had done some things in his life that would cause him grief for the rest of his days, and that I would never leave him because of them.

"Tell me."

Ranger turned to look at me for the first time since we stopped, a slightly confused look on his face. "Tell you what?"

I took a deep breath. "Tell me what you've done that you think is worthy of this punishment."

Ranger shook his head and turned away from me again. "Absolutely not."

I took his face in my hands and forced him to look me in the eye. "Yes, I want you to tell me. I know the guilt eats you alive and that you'll never have complete peace because of it. If I'm going to spend my life with you, I think I deserve to know."

Ranger held my gaze and was so still, I wasn't even sure if he was breathing. "I don't think you'll be able to look at me. You won't want me to touch you or to be anywhere near you. I can't look at your sweet, innocent face and tell you everything I've ever done. I would feel like a monster."

I bit my bottom lip in an effort not to cry. Ranger's pain was evident in his words, even though his physical demeanor and the tone of his voice were even. I leaned over and kissed him lightly.

"I will not leave you, no matter what you tell me. I have long accepted that you have done things that I would never do, but I also know you and know you would never do something without a reason. Please tell me. It might do you good to tell someone."

Ranger removed my hands from his face and turned back to face the building once more. I let out a sigh, accepting defeat. I would never be able to force Ranger to do anything that he didn't want to do, but had hoped he would know he could trust me and that I would stand by him regardless. It made me sad to think that he didn't have that much faith in me.

"Have you ever raped anyone? Or sexually assaulted them in any way?"

Ranger's head whipped around to look at me and I recoiled slightly, worried that he might yell at me.

"Never. That's one line I won't cross."

I repressed a sigh of relief. I didn't think Ranger would do something like that, but it was still a relief to hear him say so.

"Then you didn't deserve what happened to you in Somalia," I told him, trying to add a tone of finality to my voice. I didn't want him to believe that he had been traumatized, both physically and emotionally, for his past misdeeds. He had done bad things, but I had to believe that some of the good things he had done in recent years helped to atone for it.

"Drop it, Stephanie. It's how I feel about the situation, and you aren't going to change my mind."

I decided to let it drop for the moment, even though I didn't want to. I wanted him to know I would accept him regardless, but knew I'd have to come up with something different.

"Well then, let's focus on the biggest sin you've ever committed: how many times have you ever lied to me?" I said, trying to make my tone serious, but with a slightly playful air.

Ranger slowly turned his head to look at me, incredulity evident in his features. "That's the biggest sin of them all? Lying to my girlfriend?"

I nodded. "Yep, you'll really rot in hell if you don't 'fess up to me right now.

A small smile played at the corner of Ranger's lips. "Since you put it that way, I have lied to you in the past, but you've always found out the truth one way or the other. The only time I've lied and you've not learned the truth was over the summer, when I told you the number of women I'd slept with."

I felt my heart skip a beat. I had thought that number was too good to be true, but had believed it because of Ranger's outstanding self-control and solitary lifestyle.

"Okay, so what's the real number?" I asked, trying not to sound completely pissed off, even though I was. I had rung this bell, now I was going to have to listen to the tune.

"I told you twenty-six because that's the number of women I've been with since I left the Army. There were forty-six during my time in the Army, three during my two years in college, and ten during high school. That makes it a total of eighty-five."

I felt my blood pressure start to rise. "That's three times as many as you made me believe, asshole! I can't believe you lied to me about that."

"I lied because of this reaction. I didn't want you to wig out on me. It's all in the past, babe. The only woman I've been with in the past two years is you."

Whoa…did he really just say— "You haven't been with anyone else in _two_ years?"

Ranger shook his head. "After our first time together, I realized I couldn't bring myself to sleep with someone else when I was in love with you. I may not care about crossing boundaries with women who are in relationships, but I won't let myself betray someone I love."

I was somewhere between bursting into tears and vomiting after that statement. Ranger's devotion to me in spite of the fact that I had been with Morelli was overwhelming. It made me realize just how deep his love for me went. It also made me feel tremendously guilty. My feelings for Ranger had always been so confusing, so I had kept seeing Morelli even though I wasn't completely devoted to him either. Did I love Ranger as much as he loved me? Was it possible? I knew I loved Ranger more than I had ever loved anyone, but did it match his love? And could we live with it if it turned out that he did love me more? Was matching depth of feelings necessary for a successful relationship?

I shook my head in an effort to clear it. These were the thoughts I kept for time spent in the shower. I needed to get back to the issue at hand.

"That almost makes up for lying to me about your number," I told Ranger. "But in order for me to truly forgive you, I want you to tell me if I know any of these eighty-five women and who she or they are."

I saw the corners of Ranger's mouth twitch again. He probably thought I was insane, but wisely chose not to verbalize his opinion. He was in the doghouse and wanted to get out.

"You know of Rachel, obviously. Other than her, you know two of them, though I'm not sure if I should tell you about one of them, considering she doesn't even remember sleeping with me and I've never reminded her," Ranger said.

"How could a woman not remember sleeping with you? You're spectacular."

Ranger laughed. "So I've been told. But the reason she doesn't remember is because she was incredibly drunk when it happened."

I shifted in my seat so that I could look at Ranger better. "Tell me who it was."

Ranger looked down at the steering wheel and traced a finger over the SUV's emblem. "It was Connie."

There was a full minute of silence, both inside the car and my head.

Oh. My. God. No. Fucking. Way.

"Connie? As in Connie Rossoli from the bond's office? The Connie that I work with every day?"

I could barely fathom what Ranger had just told me. He had slept with Connie? And she didn't remember it? Poor Connie…

Ranger nodded. "Yep."

"Um, details please." I managed to say after a moment of pure shock.

Ranger gave me an incredulous look.

"Not _those_ kind of details. I meant how did it happen? What was the situation that got her drunk and you in her bed?"

"It was about seven years ago, right after she started working for Vinnie. She was recently divorced and had gone out drinking one night. She got completely trashed and the bartender, who was a friend of mine, called me to pick her up since he knew we worked together. I picked her up and she started groping me, telling me she wanted me and couldn't wait any longer. I parked my car in the alley behind the bond's office and we went at it. She passed out on the way home, so I got her inside and left. When I saw her the next day, she thanked me for picking her up at the bar, saying she had gone there that morning to pick up her car and asked who had taken her home. She had only a vague memory of going to the bar and starting to drink, and definitely no memory of me picking her up. I decided not to bring it up."

I was fairly certain I'd been staring at Ranger with an open mouth for a good five minutes before I found my voice again. I dug through my bag and pulled out the bottle of water, taking a long drag before speaking.

"Wow. That's all I can say about it—wow. Who else is on this list? If you say Lula or my sister, I'm going to die."

"Definitely not. The other person is Jeanne Ellen Burrows," Ranger said, looking me in the eye as he said it.

"Was it just a one-time thing, or did you guys have an ongoing relationship?"

"We never had a regular relationship, if that's what you're asking. It has only ever been sexual or work-related between us."

I didn't want to know any more details about Jeanne Ellen. She was the female version of Ranger, and I suspected he wished I were more like that. Her boobs and ass were far better than mine, and she was much less of a train wreck. I already hated Jeanne Ellen Burrows because of how amazingly perfect she was. Now I hated her even more because she'd done the deed with Ranger.

We resumed our silence once more, and I was contemplating whether to join a gym so I could get an ass like Jeanne Ellen's when my cell phone rang. I didn't recognize the number, but the area code told me it was a northern Jersey number.

It turned out to be Lola Manoso.

"Hello, Stephanie," she said when I answered the phone. "I just wanted to call and say Happy New Year, and to ask how Carlos is doing. I haven't talked to him since Christmas."

"Hi, Lola," I said, causing Ranger to look at me in mild surprise. "Happy New Year to you as well. We're well. I'm actually out working with Carlos tonight. He was going out on his patrol all alone, and since I had nothing better to do, I asked to join him."

"Is he ok? Were you worried about him?"

"Oh no, everything's going great," I replied, hoping Ranger would think that I was referring to our shift.

"That's a relief. I've been so worried about him, but I know I can't push him to talk too much, or he'll shut down completely. I also wanted to tell you that you are welcome to visit anytime, even if Carlos won't come with you. I'll let you get back to your evening, but may I speak to Carlos for a minute?"

"Sure," I said, handing Ranger my phone.

He took the phone and greeted his mother in Spanish. "Hola."

He listened for a minute, his mouth curving into a small smile. "You know her well already, Mom. I'm impressed."

He listened for a minute longer before saying good-bye and ending the call. "My mom wants me to marry you, since you were willing to give up an evening of television and junk food to come sit with me and watch for criminals."

I put my phone back in my bag. "She's right. I could be watching _Ghostbusters_ and working my way through Tastykakes right now."

"Don't be such a martyr; you have some in your bag. You could be eating one now if you wanted to."

I gave Ranger a mock glare. "Snoop. I'm still a little pissed at you for lying to me."

"I thought I was forgiven by telling you who you knew out of my past sexual partners?"

"That was before I had to hear about Jeanne Ellen."

"You're more upset about Jeanne Ellen than Connie?"

"I'm stunned about Connie, but not angry because Connie was drunk, has no memory of it and would feel bad if she did. Jeanne Ellen is just irritatingly smug and perfect in every way. I'm sure she's also perfect in bed."

I really, really hated Jeanne Ellen. She was slowly creeping up near the top of my Shit List, where Dickie Orr and Joyce Barnhardt had held firm positions for the past eight years.

Ranger started the SUV and drove down an alley behind the building we were monitoring, checking the back for anyone trying to break in without us seeing them from the street. All was quiet.

"Jeanne Ellen may be more successful as a BEA, but she can't hold a candle to you in bed, babe."

I snorted. "You're just saying that to make me feel better."

"You said yourself the sex we have is _spectacular_ , right?"

"Yes, but it's because you're so good. You know exactly what to do, and how to do it."

"Babe, you and I make love on thousand-count sheets, whereas Jeanne Ellen and I fucked in alleyways behind bars. The reason the sex is so great with you is because we have that emotional connection, in addition to the physical attraction. With Jeanne Ellen, it was purely sex. We didn't have any emotional connection, outside of a mutual respect for each other as professionals. I don't even consider her a friend."

Okay, so now I was feeling a little smug after that. Jeanne Ellen probably hadn't enjoyed her orgasms as much as I do because she was busy bruising her tailbone against a brick wall that had probably been peed on a thousand times that week. One point to Stephanie.

"Fine, you're forgiven," I told Ranger, glancing at the clock on the dashboard. It was five minutes to twelve. I was just about to comment on it nearly being the new year when Ranger's phone rang with his update from the control center. There had been an attempted break-in at a residential account in Hamilton Township, but the homeowner had simply pulled out his shotgun and told the person trying to open his patio doors to get the fuck off his property before he put a bullet in his ass. The perpetrator had taken off, and the homeowner had declined Rangeman or police assistance. Problem handled, Jersey-style. Ranger ended the call and pulled away from the curb where he had parked after leaving the alley. He had told me we would run the circuit we had done earlier in the night again after midnight before returning to walk through buildings again. How his men kept from killing themselves on the job was beyond me. It was incredibly dull.

We had stopped at light when Ranger's watch beeped, indicating it was midnight. He grabbed the lapel of my jacket and pulled towards him, kissing me softly.

"Happy New Year, babe," he said, leaning back into his seat as the light changed to green.

I felt my phone start vibrating and dug it back out of my bag as Ranger stopped in front of an old apartment building that needed a second walkthrough. I had "Happy New Year!" texts from Connie, Lula and a number I didn't recognize, but that was signed Celia.

"I like your family a lot," I told Ranger as we climbed out of the SUV. "They call and text me to tell me Happy New Year after meeting me three times. My own family doesn't do that."

Ranger put an arm around my waist as we walked up to the door of the building. "They love you, babe. For who you are, and because you make me happy."

We didn't talk as we made our walkthrough of the building, which was being inhabited by a couple of strung-out junkies that must have crept in after we left earlier in the evening. We escorted them outside and watched them walk away before getting into the SUV and heading back out to Whitehorse for our patrol route. My mind had been consumed the entire time with thoughts of Ranger and his family. When he was with them, I could tell he loved his family, but that he was a bit of an outsider. I wasn't sure if it was because he was so emotionally closed-off in contrast to the rest of the family or because of living away from them for so many years.

"How often do you see your family?" I asked as Ranger turned into a moderately wealthy neighborhood that contained several Rangeman accounts.

"Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter and usually once during the summer," he replied.

"Do you talk to them on the phone much?"

"When they call, or I call them on their birthdays. Why so much interest?"

I shrugged. "Everyone seems so close, but you seem much more distant. I wasn't sure if it was more of your own doing or theirs."

Ranger was quiet for a moment. "I think it's a combination of circumstance and my own doing. I've told you before that I stole a car when I was fourteen and went to juvenile detention for six months. My parents told me the day they picked me up that I was going to Miami with live with Grandma Bella, and that we would be leaving in four hours. I had enough time to see my siblings and my Grandma Rosa before we left town. After that, I only saw my family four weeks a year for the next four years—a week at Christmas, a week at Spring Break, and two weeks in the summer. I matured and grew up differently than the rest of my siblings did in Newark, so by the time I came back to go to college, I already felt different. By the time I returned home on my first leave from the Army, I wondered how I could have ever come from that family. Don't get me wrong—I love my family. I just feel different from them."

Ranger's experience with his family couldn't have been further from the experiences I'd had with mine. Sure there were days when I seriously questioned how I could be related to Valerie or Grandma Mazur, but I knew deep down that I was just overlooking things. I had the feeling Ranger had seriously questioned this about himself.

"Do you resent your parents for sending you away?" I asked after a few moments reflection.

"I used to. I stopped resenting them for what they did when I agreed to let Ron adopt Julie. I knew then that they had made a difficult decision, but that they had done what they thought was best for me, regardless of how it may have hurt them. I would have been dead long before now, or at the very least in prison, had they not sent me to Miami. I'm thankful they did. I wouldn't have ever had Julie, or met you. I would have wasted my life being a thug."

I put a hand on Ranger's leg and gave it a little squeeze, not saying anything else. There was nothing more to say, because everything he'd said had been exactly right. We eventually made it back to Stark Street and parked once more outside of the building we were monitoring. It was approaching two in the morning, so I was starting to get incredibly drowsy. I was about to doze off when an old, ugly wooden-paneled station wagon pulled to the curb twenty feet in front of us. It couldn't tell who was driving, but a minute later, a hooker wearing a fake fur coat and purple sequin shoes walked up to the car and leaned through the driver's side window. She talked to the driver for a minute before stepping back. A white guy in his early sixties stepped out and opened the back door for the hooker, who shook out of her fur coat before crawling in. The man got in the car behind her and a few minutes later, the car started to rock side-to-side.

"Do you think they know we're here and can see everything?" I asked Ranger, my eyebrows going up as the rocking became more obvious.

"I think they don't care," Ranger replied. "I hope he gets the shocks checked on his car later. They've really got it rocking."

Eventually, I was able to hear some moaning even through their closed windows and ours. "Geez, for an older man, he's really going at it."

"Might be test driving a new pill."

The car rocked for another ten minutes before I heard a scream that sounded more like someone being stabbed than someone having an orgasm. The rocking stopped and two minutes later, the hooker got out of the car, pulling her dress back down and wrapping her coat around herself. I thought she looked like she was walking a little stiffly as she headed back into the shadows, but she seemed to be smiling. Either the man was really good, or he'd paid her really well. The man climbed out after her, got back into the driver's seat and pulled away, never once looking back at the SUV.

"Damn," I said a minute later. I'd gotten a little turned on seeing the station wagon rocking like that. I had been wondering if Ranger and I could rock the SUV the same way. But not in the middle of Stark Street, of course. I am a lady. Who wants to live.

I looked over at Ranger, who had a mischievous glint in his eye. "Getting ideas, babe?"

I bit my bottom lip and nodded. "Do you think we could rock this car like that?"

Ranger started the SUV and pulled away from the curb. "Only one way to find out."

It turned out that Ranger and I can rock the SUV like that.


	20. Blow Me (One Last Kiss)

The first four days of January passed without incident. My relationship with Ranger was going great since our sex life had returned to almost normal and I hadn't had any issues with my FTAs. January fifth, however, turned out to be complete shit.

Ranger had stopped by the house around noon and joined me for lunch while I reviewed my file for Joaquin Velazquez, a medium-high level drug dealer who had skipped out on bail. He was supposed to have shown up for court on the third, but Joaquin had apparently not added 'obeying the law' to his New Year's resolutions. I'd gone to his last known address, which turned out to be a burned out former crack house, but no one was around. I had tracked down Velazquez's mother, who told me in no uncertain terms that she would not tell me where her son was, and suggested I fuck myself with something sharp. I'd called his girlfriend Alicia next, trying a different tactic that I was hopeful would be a success.

"Is Joaquin available?" I asked when she answered.

"Who is this?" Alicia asked, sounding defensive.

"This is Shelia. I need to talk to Joaquin right away," I told her. "He got me pregnant."

"What?!" I pulled the phone away from my ear as Alicia's voice went up three octaves. I was fairly certain I heard a dog three houses down start to howl.

"Yeah, it's true. He knocked me up. I'm having twins, and he'd better be ready to pay child support and to buy me the things I need for these babies. Do you know where I can find him? I want to tell him in person so he can't avoid me," I replied, watching Ranger break out into a wide smile.

"Yeah, I'll tell you where he is. He's out in Chicago, dealing out of a club called _Xchange_. He told me he has an apartment on Lakeshore Drive, but now I'm thinking he's full of shit. When you find him, tell him not to come back to my house or I'll shoot his lying, cheating dick off." And with that, Alicia hung up.

"Damn. Well, I've got good news and bad news. The good news is I know where he is. The bad news is he is in Chicago. I guess I'll have to pass this one on to you, since Vinnie thinks I can't go do these out-of-state skips on my own," I told Ranger, stabbing my salad with more force than necessary. Velazquez was a high bond, but Vinnie only allowed Ranger or himself to go fetch FTAs that had left the state.

"It doesn't have to come to me. I'll show you how to bring in people from out-of-state so Vinnie can give them all to you," Ranger replied. "My company doesn't really need the money from FTAs anymore, so I don't mind to give them up. Especially when they'll be going to you."

I looked up at Ranger in surprise.

"Doesn't Vinnie have to give his blessing on this? He also goes to pick up out-of-state FTAs," I asked, feeling a little pleased that Ranger had that much faith in me.

"Vinnie only goes to get the ones that have already been picked up by police. He doesn't want to have to make the effort to actually apprehend them himself. I'll tell him that I will come with you for the first couple of times and then you'll be on your own, unless you ask for my help. Besides, there are bigger issues than just Vinnie's opinion on the matter. Bounty hunting is illegal in Illinois, so we are going to have to get Velazquez out of the state before officially arresting him. But we'll worry about that once we've found him."

I collected my dishes and stood, stopping to kiss Ranger on the cheek. "You're fantastic. This is one of the most significant differences between you and Morelli. He would've told me that I wasn't very good at picking up the FTAs in town, so going out of town to a state where bounty hunting is illegal would be a disaster and to just let you go get him."

Ranger picked up his own dishes and followed me into the kitchen. "I may not be the most experienced when it comes to romantic relationships, but I'm fairly certain that being nothing like your ex-boyfriend is a positive thing. I hope Morelli and I are different in everything from our morals to our diets and our preferred sexual positions."

I thought about the similarities and differences between Ranger and Morelli as I finished my bottle of water. The two men that I've loved most recently in my life had very few similarities. They were both intelligent and sexy, but in very different ways.

"Morelli ate more like me, but stayed mostly on the right side of the law and preferred doggy-style sex."

Ranger stopped dead in his move to put his plate in the dishwasher and gave me a strange look. "I didn't need to know that, babe."

"I didn't realize I said it out loud," I told Ranger sheepishly.

He shook his head and finished up his task. "At least I know I'm better in bed. That's all that matters in the end."

"How do you know you're better? I never said anything about being better, just different," I teased.

"Because I happen to know doggy-style isn't _your_ preferred position, and that I'm incredibly good in bed."

I punched him lightly on the arm. "There's at least one similarity: you're both very modest."

Ranger pulled me into him for a quick kiss. "I have to get back to the office. When I get home later, we'll go over our plan to pick up Velazquez."

I spent the rest of the day running Velazquez and _Xchange_ through the search programs on Ranger's computer. Velazquez's bank accounts didn't show me any sort of rent payment or home purchases. _Xchange_ showed to be a popular hip-hop club in downtown Chicago with several well-known bad guys working out of it in various arenas, including prostitution, drugs, illegal guns and stolen goods. The club sounded like it had a back door that was a portal into Hell.

Ranger came home around six that evening to find me shaping a meatloaf in a baking dish. He watched in mild surprise as I put the meatloaf in the oven and set the timer. "Did you really make that?"

"Yes," I told him as I walked over to the sink to wash my hands. "I'm trying to be more domestic than I've been in the past, but less so than my mother. I don't want to become so domestic that I relieve stress by ironing every article of clothing we own."

Ranger uncorked a bottle of wine and poured us each a glass while I told him about what I'd found on Velazquez.

"He's working for someone higher than him on the drug-pusher food chain," Ranger informed me. "There's no way he had the time to establish himself in a club that big in a city like Chicago in the two months since he was arrested. I don't have many contacts in Chicago, but I'll see what I can find out about the situation."

My meatloaf turned out pretty well, though not quite as good as my mother's. Once we had cleaned up, Ranger pulled out his cell phone and made a couple of calls as I headed to the living room. I could tell he was speaking Spanish when he spoke to the first of the people he called, even though I had no idea what he said beyond 'Hola' and 'Adios'. When he called his second contact, he spoke a language I didn't recognize and had definitely never heard him use in my presence. I knew Ranger was multilingual, but had never learned how many languages he actually spoke. His second conversation was shorter than the first and he hung up within a few minutes.

"My first contact informed me that a dealer named Z used to work out of _Xchange_ , and that if Velazquez is doing business there, it means he's working for Z. Otherwise, he would have been floating in Lake Michigan by now. The second one says that _Xchange_ is now dealing with a better class of people than in the past and that getting into the club is difficult. He says we'll never be able to see Velaquez come and go, as the people who deal out of the club use a different entrance. He can get us details about when Velaquez shows up at the club and can get us in."

"What language were you speaking with the second person? I didn't recognize it," I told Ranger. "In fact, I don't know what languages you do speak, outside of Spanish and English."

"The second guy is from Syria originally, so I was speaking to him in Arabic. I speak six languages fluently: English, Spanish, Farsi, Arabic, Kurdish, and Pashtun. I have some working proficiency in French, Italian and Russian, and I can swear in German, Polish and Hebrew."

"That's amazing. I feel special when I can order off the Taco Bell menu." I said. "And I bet you speaking French is sexy as hell."

Ranger had refilled my glass of wine and handed it to me. "My accent isn't very good, so I doubt it. But if you have another glass of wine, you might not notice it as much."

He sat down on the sofa next me and I snuggled up against him. "I can't get a handle on where he's staying though. How are we going to go about tracking him?"

"If my contact can get us into _Xchange_ , we'll go in and scope him out. Otherwise, I'll call in some favors and do some deeper digging. Did you use the Rangeman programs?"

I nodded. "He's not paying rent to anyone, so he must be living with a new girl or something."

I turned on the television in time to start watching an _Alias_ rerun. Sydney was running in four-inch heels and a blonde wig after stealing information from an office when a man caught up with her and she had to go into ass-kicking mode.

"Do you wish I were more like Sydney Bristow?" I asked Ranger. "So that you didn't have to constantly come save me?"

"I wish you'd be a little more careful when you are out and keep your gun loaded and on your person at all times. Otherwise, no, I don't want you to be Sydney Bristow. I like Stephanie Plum much better."

I had just moved up to give Ranger a kiss when his cell phone rang.

He looked at the display on the phone. "It's my contact in Chicago. I need to take this. He doesn't like to be ignored."

He answered the call, listening intently and asking questions in Arabic. He hung up a few minutes later.

"My contact confirmed that Velazquez is at the club every day from ten to three, when it closes." Ranger said, putting his phone back on the coffee table. "I'll get us flights out to Chicago for tomorrow and we'll go to the club tomorrow night. We'll follow him to where he is staying and then plan on how to get him out of Illinois. Do you know how his arrest went? Did he put up a big fight? If so, we'll have to charter a flight home."

"One of his charges is resisting arrest, so I think he'll fight us," I replied.

Ranger stood up and pulled me with him. "I need to get a plane arranged then. Even private flights need a little notice."

I groaned. Velazquez's bond was five hundred-thousand dollars, which meant my take was going to be fifty thousand. Chartering a plan was going to be expensive. "That sucks. Maybe we can give him a shot of something so he will cooperate and get on a commercial flight."

We went upstairs to the office, where Ranger turned on his computer. "Airlines expect doctor's notes for such things, which he won't have and I'd rather not risk forging one."

While he ordered our plane tickets, I started researching which states had banned bounty hunting. I hadn't considered that there were states where we couldn't legally apprehend people who had skipped out on bail. A quick internet search told me that Illinois, Michigan and Wisconsin banned bounty hunting and that Indiana required bail enforcement agents to be licensed by the state.

"How the hell are we going to get this guy? Every nearby state either bans bounty hunting entirely or requires a license," I asked Ranger as I closed my computer.

"It's all about knowing the ropes, babe. I have connections with people in every state for situations just like this. I'll get in touch with a guy in Gary, Indiana and have him added to the bond so he can help us make the capture. We just have to lure Velazquez across the state line."

"That sounds difficult."

"We'll have to make him an offer he can't refuse," Ranger replied as he put in his credit card number. "We'll fly out of Philadelphia tomorrow morning and get to Chicago by noon and I've got us a room at the Chicago Four Seasons so that we can get ready to go out. Now I'll just need to get everything set up with the BEA in Indiana and we'll be ready to go."

While Ranger called the necessary people, I went to my room to start packing. I didn't figure we would be gone more than a day, but packed a couple of extra outfits in case we didn't catch him as planned. My dilemma fell more into what to wear to the club where we would scope out Velazquez. I'd never been much into the clubbing scene and given the sideline activities that went on inside _Xchange_ , I had a feeling I was going to stand out no matter what I wore. What I needed was someone with expertise in this area to help me blend in as much as possible.

Lula.

Twenty minutes later, I was pulling up in front of Lula's house. She had told me we needed to go to the mall before they closed, and had been way too excited about picking out clothes for me. I had laid out certain guidelines about what I would wear though—nothing too bright or outlandish. Outlandish included animal prints and outfits that didn't cover my ass or boobs.

"You're no fun," Lula said as she climbed into the Cayenne. "This is going to be a boring ass shopping trip to find you something to wear to a hip-hop club. Besides, you're going to be there with Ranger, who will be looking like the finest man that ever walked the planet, and he's going to walk in with a woman who isn't brave enough to wear zebra-print."

We had two hours until the mall closed, so Lula took me directly to stores that would likely have what I needed. I tried on a variety of dresses and tops that were incredibly tight, incredibly short and showed off quite bit of cleavage, which was saying something on me. It was at the third store where we found a top we could both agree on. It was dark red with three-quarter length sleeves and a deep v-neck. I also picked up a pair of tight, dark-washed jeans and a pair of sexy black boots.

"You're gonna look hot in this outfit," Lula said as I drove her home. "Ranger may have trouble staying focused on the job at hand with you in that outfit."

No shit. I'd be lucky if he didn't rip it off of me before we even left our hotel room to go to the club.

We decided to stop for dessert at a diner on Hamilton Avenue that had several different types of cakes and pies available around the clock. I parked across the street from the diner in front of a three-story office building that housed a couple of attorneys, a mental health center and a social services business. There was a crane three car lengths away from us lifting an industrial-sized furnace to the roof the building and men in work uniforms were standing around at the bottom of the building talking and smoking cigarettes. Lula and I found a seat by the window and placed our orders with a waitress that looked old enough to have served pie to the first settlers of Trenton. Lula got cherry pie and I got German chocolate cake.

"You know who I've been missing lately?" Lula asked once the waitress left to get our food. "Tank. I think I might give him a call and see if he wants to get together."

"Do you think he will? After all, you tricked him into getting engaged, caused him to get completely trashed one night and pass out on your bathroom floor, and he did his best to avoid you after that until you broke up with him," I said, remembering the fiasco that had ensued.

"Sure he will. He may not have wanted to get married, but we had some good times in bed. Damn, he was the biggest man I'd ever been with, and I've never quite found anything that good again. I guess you could say he's ruined me for other men. You know what I mean?"

I knew exactly what she meant. I was completely ruined by Ranger. And he damned well knew it too.

Lula and I discussed the possibility of her getting back together with Tank while we ate our food and then moved on to my mission to pick up Velazquez in a state that banned bounty hunting. Yells from the workers outside interrupted our conversation just in time to see the industrial-sized furnace that the crane had been putting on the office building fall onto the front end of my Cayenne.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I yelled, standing up and running outside. "I've only had that car for six months!"

"Sorry, ma'am," said a guy in a uniform who looked like he had just entered puberty.

"Did you just call me 'ma'am'?" I asked, glowering at the kid. "I'm not old enough to be a 'Ma'am' to you, shithead. You just ruined my car—well, technically, my boyfriend's car."

Lula had shown up behind me, holding my cell phone and purse, which I had left in the diner. "Ranger just called and I told him what happened. He said he's on his way, and that he apparently won a bet."

My own boyfriend was now betting on how long I kept my cars? I was going to kick Ranger's ass. I stood there fuming before a police car showed up three minutes later and Robin Russell got out.

"Tough luck, Stephanie," she said as she walked up to the car. "I thought for sure this was your lucky car. I had my money on you having it for at least a year."

I gaped at Robin. "The police department bets on me too?"

Robin nodded. "Yep. Morelli's still in on the bets too, even though he's down in Camden. In fact, I think his bet was close on this one. Marge in dispatch keeps all the bets and money."

I walked over to the back of the car and opened the lift gate. My shopping bag was untouched in the back with the clothes I'd bought to wear in Chicago. At least the incident wasn't a total loss.

Ranger pulled up behind the police car a minute or so later. He was wearing a black peat coat over his Rangeman attire. He walked over to me, fighting to keep a smile off his face.

"You bet on how long I'd have this car before it got destroyed?" I asked as he approached.

He put an arm around my waist and kissed my head. "Of course. And I'm glad I did. The money will help cover the insurance deductible."

I elbowed Ranger in the side. "I hate you right now."

That earned me a full-on smile. "I was just kidding, babe. I'll let you have the money as penance for my bad behavior. Will that get me out of the dog house?"

"How much money are we talking about?"

"Three thousand dollars."

"I forgive you."

While Ranger talked to Robin and signed the police report, I saw a familiar SUV pull up behind Ranger's Turbo. It was Morelli.

"I just heard I won a bet," he said smirking. "I was about to head home when Marge called to say I was officially eight hundred bucks richer."

"What are you doing here?" I asked, disgusted that both my current and former boyfriends had bet on me and won.

"Grandma Bella's eighty-fifth birthday was today. We had a family dinner for her, plus I brought my girlfriend up to meet everyone," he replied. I looked back at his SUV and noticed a pretty redhead sitting in the front seat.

"I'm glad you're seeing someone," I said honestly. "But I'm still pissed that you bet on me and won."

Ranger came up next to me with the report from Robin while I was talking to Morelli.

"What's worse is that Ranger bet on me too. He won three grand, but at least he's giving me his earnings."

Morelli snorted. "Of course he is. He wants to keep getting laid. I'd be doing the same thing if I were still in that position with you."

I turned to glare at Ranger. "I thought you were doing so because you felt bad for betting on me?"

Ranger glanced at Morelli before turning his gaze on me. "The thought of not having sex for a while makes me feel bad."

Morelli burst into laughter. "Damn, I'm glad that isn't me anymore. Melissa's never been kidnapped, stalked or had her car destroyed. It's freaking amazing."

"Your loss is my gain," Ranger told Morelli, grabbing my hand. "Steph's pretty damn phenomenal—destroyed cars, stalkers, crazy family and all."

I squeezed Ranger's hand and smiled at him, appreciating the way he stood up for me. Any further debates about whether I was worth dating were interrupted by Lula's reappearance. She had gone back in the diner to keep warm while watching the circus surrounding my car.

"How much longer are we going to be here? I'm missing some good television shows," she asked, pulling her coat around her. "Unless you plan to tell Morelli about what you two did with the icing from that housewarming cake he brought you a while back. That would be worth hanging around to watch."

Morelli's mouth dropped open in shock. I blushed slightly, remembering how sexy that night had been, and Ranger had a small, smug smile on his face. Morelli looked at me as if to ask me for confirmation.

I shrugged at Morelli as we walked back to the Turbo. "Like he said, it's your loss."


	21. In Da Club

Tank drove us to the Philadelphia airport the next morning and our plane landed in Chicago shortly after noon, though it was only eleven in Chicago. Ranger had informed me on the flight that his contact in Indiana, a man named Pete Williams, would be meeting us at the hotel in Chicago before we had to go to the club. We would finalize plans of how to get Velazquez across the state line of his own volition so that Williams could help us get him on a private plane that would be waiting for us at the airport in Gary. Williams wasn't required to come back to Jersey with us, but had to be the one to make the capture and physically put Velazquez on the plane.

We stopped at a car rental counter and Ranger picked up the car he had ordered, which turned out to be a black Escalade. As we drove through the city to the Four Seasons, I started deducting costs from my recovery fee to figure out how much I would get in the end.

"How much is the plane costing? And how much will I owe Williams for helping us?" I asked Ranger. "And the cost for the hotel and the car?"

"Babe, I've got it covered. You don't need to pay for that stuff," Ranger replied.

I shook my head. "No way. You're helping me learn how to bring in someone from out-of-state. I expect to be paying for it all. He's a high enough bond to cover the expenses."

Ranger stopped at a light and turned to look at me. "I've already paid for the plane, not to mention I've already booked the car and hotel in my name and on my credit card. I don't want you to be out your entire fee."

I crossed my arms in front of me and put my determined face on. "I don't want you wasting your money on my skip."

"It's not a waste, Stephanie. I'm teaching you how to do something that I normally have to do. This trip serves two purposes: it helps you earn more money in the long-term, and saves me time that I have to take away from my business. I won't take your money, and Williams is only asking for twenty percent of the recovery. You can send him a check once you get your check from Connie."

"I still don't feel right about you paying for the big stuff."

"We've got all afternoon to ourselves in a five-star hotel," Ranger replied. "You'll think of some other way to repay me."

We arrived at our room at the Four Seasons half an hour later, which was on the fortieth floor and had a spectacular view of Lake Michigan. I took in the scenery for a few minutes while Ranger talked to the Syrian to ensure we could still get into the club and then with Williams about meeting that evening.

"My contact says he can get us into _Xchange_ tonight," Ranger told me after he disconnected. "He didn't have enough time to get us on the VIP list to come and go as we please, so he will have to meet us there and we'll go in with him. He's in the illegal arms business, so no one will question him bringing someone with him."

Lovely. I was all for fibbing a little to get an FTA, but partying with an arms dealer was a little out of my comfort zone. On the other hand, Ranger knew him and trusted him enough to be around me. Or at least trusted himself enough to know he could take out the guy if he tried anything.

"We'll meet Williams in the bar downstairs at seven-thirty to get our plan finalized," Ranger continued. "We'll be meeting my contact a couple of blocks away from _Xchange_ at nine so we can arrive at the club together. We just need him to get us in the door, and then we can do our thing."

I nodded. "Sounds like a plan, though hanging out with your contact makes me a little nervous."

Ranger chuckled and pulled me into a hug. "As long as you don't try to compete with him in the arms trade, I don't think you'll have a problem. I may have to remind him that you're mine because he'll be trying to get you into bed if he spends too much time around you."

"Speaking of which…," I said, as I started kissing Ranger along the neck. I reached down between us to unzip his pants as I pushed him towards the bed, trying to decide the best way to repay him for his generosity.

"Wake up, babe. It's six o'clock."

I opened my eyes to find Ranger leaning over me. He gave me a quick kiss and climbed out of bed, where we had been the entire afternoon. I climbed out of bed after him, walking a little awkwardly towards the bathroom. I heard Ranger chuckle behind me.

"Are you going to be able to walk tonight?" he asked as he unpacked his clothes.

"Ask me again after I've had a hot shower," I replied, grabbing my bag and taking it into the marble bathroom with me. "We haven't had that much sex in a while. I'm a little out of practice."

Ranger followed me into the bathroom. "I'm trying to make up for lost time."

I took a fast shower, dried off, put on my underwear and grabbed the hair dryer while Ranger brushed his teeth and got dressed in jeans and a tight black t-shirt. I noticed him watching me in the mirror as I stood in my black lace bra and matching panties drying my hair.

"Don't even think about it," I yelled over the noise of the dryer. He winked at me and walked back into the bedroom, leaving me to finish getting ready without worry that I'd get jumped.

Fifteen minutes later, I walked out of the bathroom with my make-up and hair in semi-slut mode, dressed in the tight shirt and jeans with bottom of my jeans tucked into the black boots that came to mid-calf.

Ranger was checking the ammo clip in his Glock and looked up at me, his eyes lighting up. "Seriously, babe? You tell me not to think about sex, and then you wear something like that."

I shrugged nonchalantly. "Consider it an exercise in self-control."

"The fact that I didn't have my dick inside you every time we saw each other in the four years prior to becoming a couple is evidence of my ability to control myself," Ranger said as he walked over to me to take my bag.

I smacked him on the butt as he walked past, which made him flinch sharply. He stood still for a second before continuing over to the entryway to our room and setting our bags by the door. Since he had come back from Somalia, the few times in bed when I had started to move my hands down his body to grab his butt he had either shifted our positions or done something that had kept me from reaching him, so I had stopped by trying. I suddenly felt horrible, realizing that while he may not be showing as many outwardly obvious signs of the trauma he had experienced, he was still suffering some of the trauma internally.

"Sorry," I said quietly.

Ranger put a finger to my lips. "Don't apologize. I like your hands on my ass. It was just a little overreaction on my part."

I kissed his finger. "Are we ready to go to dinner? I'm starving," I said, changing the subject.

"Yes, let's go," he replied, grabbing my hand leading out of the room and to the elevator. I suspected he was as glad of the change of subject as I was.

The restaurant at the Four Seasons was casual, so I didn't feel too out of place as Ranger and I walked through to a table. We were seated at a table with a view of the door so that Ranger could watch for Williams as seven-thirty rolled around. I ordered Spaghetti Carbonara while Ranger ordered something that sounded like a fancy salad. I also added piece of cake to my order for dessert. Naturally, I was the only one at the table having dessert.

"Your 'no dessert' habit is one reason I had worried about whether a relationship between us would work out," I told Ranger after the waiter left our table. "Dessert is a main part of my diet."

A small smile played on Ranger's lips. "There's only one dessert I'm interested in eating, babe, and I had quite bit of it earlier today."

I flushed slightly at the memory and fanned myself with my napkin. Ranger had certainly enjoyed his dessert. He'd even gone back for seconds. And thirds.

"Most men don't like eating that particular type of dessert as much as you do," I commented, taking a sip of water.

"It's not something I've indulged in with every woman I've ever been with," Ranger replied. "I consider it the most intimate thing I can do to a woman on a physical level. And with you, it is especially good."

I was speechless for a moment after that. Ranger had somehow made that comment both dirty and incredibly romantic at the same time. And it made me feel good that he attached more meaning to it than just sexual gratification.

Before I could recover, the waiter had brought our meals out to us, thus ending conversation. The meal was delicious, which I should expect for how much it was costing. The red velvet cake I had ordered was the best I'd ever tasted and I was nearly moaning when I took the first bite. I had just finished my cake when Ranger caught the eye of a man walking into the restaurant.

"There's Williams," he said, nodding to the man.

Williams was in his mid-fifties with light brown hair cut very short. He was about Ranger's height, but probably had thirty pounds on him.

"Ranger," Williams said, extending his hand. Ranger shook it and returned the greeting.

"Williams. Thanks for your help. This is my girlfriend, Stephanie Plum. It's her skip we're after."

Williams shook my hand and took a seat at our table. "Nice to meet you, Stephanie. I got the copy of the bond agreement and read up on this guy. He sounds like a real winner."

"He is," I replied. "It was hard to choose between dating him or Ranger, but Ranger has a better car."

Ranger and Williams had already discussed some of the plan, but didn't have the details nailed down. It ultimately came down that Ranger was going to pretend to work for someone who was interested in a regular supplier of large amounts of cocaine. They would ask Velazquez to meet them at the Illiana Yacht Club just over the state line into Indiana so that Williams can arrest him and we could head to Gary to get out of the state and back to Jersey.

"My contact here says Z isn't very happy with the job Velazquez is doing and that if he doesn't get his numbers up, he's going to be getting dumped in the river. I think an offer like this is the best hope we have of getting him across the state line," Ranger said.

"What if he doesn't take the bait?" I ask, trying not to sound like a total party-pooper. "What is our plan if he's not interested in a new job or gets suspicious?"

"You could seduce him," Williams suggested. "I think he'd be all over you in that outfit."

I raised an eyebrow in Ranger's direction. "Your thoughts?"

Ranger shrugged. "How bad do you want your guy, babe?"

"Bad," I told him. "I want my money, not to mention Vinnie's been all over me about this one. So that's an option unless he's got a girlfriend. I'm not getting into a cat-fight. But I feel like we need more contingencies."

"If those two plans don't work, we'll have to get dirty," Ranger said. "I have some people I can call, but I don't want to push that button unless I have no choice. Regardless, we have our rendezvous point in Indiana and a plane on standby in Gary. We will be getting him back to Trenton by morning."

We checked out of the hotel at eight-thirty and drove to a bar about twenty-minutes away. Ranger parked on the street across from the bar and flashed his headlights. A man standing outside in jeans and a grey wool jacket crossed the street and opened the back door.

"Jamal," Ranger said, looking in the rearview mirror. Jamal was about my age, shorter than Ranger and wiry.

"Ranger," Jamal replied, his gaze falling on me. "You brought your woman with you?"

"It's her job. I'm just helping out," Ranger replied, pulling away from the curb. "Tell us about what you know of Velazquez."

"He gets to the club by ten and spends the first hour or two drinking and dancing. By midnight is when his business gets going and he deals with regulars who come to a private booth he has up along the balcony. The club closes at three, so he generally leaves by two-thirty. There's a back door where we dealers come and go. I can show you the back door and get you in that way, since you are with me," Jamal said, watching out the window as he spoke.

We arrived at the club a few minutes later, with Jamal instructing Ranger to park in a garage around the block. The garage was secured, meaning men with guns were checking who was showing up and letting them park there or not. We were granted access and parked amongst other oversized SUVs and expensive sports cars. We followed Jamal out of the garage and to an unassuming grey door. There was another heavily armed bouncer standing guard. Jamal nodded to the man who opened the door, letting us all walk in. Ranger was calm and collected, holding my hand and appearing as though he did this every day. I tried to play it cool, but inside I was feeling jittery. As we walked through the back of the club, we were met with the smell of cigarette smoke, booze, sweat and the loud thumping of a bass. There was a VIP coat check by the back entrance, but I had thankfully decided to leave my coat in the car.

I saw Ranger pull an envelope out of his pocket and hand it to Jamal. Jamal nodded to us and walked away, headed up a spiral staircase towards the balcony, which showed several booths along each wall with heavy red velvet curtains that were pulled closed on a few of the booths, but left open on others.

"What do we do now? This place is chaotic. Even if Velazquez arrives as planned, it'll be almost impossible to find him," I asked Ranger, having to get right up to his ear and yell in order to be heard over the noise.

"We will just strike when opportunity presents itself. If we can't get him down here, then we'll wait until he goes up to his booth at twelve," Ranger replied as we walked around the edge of the dance floor. Women were shaking their asses and men were grinding up against them with varying levels of skill. Some had no rhythm while others were perfectly in sync with the music and one another.

Ranger went up to the bar and placed drink orders that I couldn't hear over the music and voices. The bartender gave me a strange look and said something to Ranger, who responded with a small smile and nodding his head towards me. The bartender gave an understanding nod, said something which made Ranger chuckle and walked off. He returned a couple of minutes later with two drinks.

Ranger took the drink that looked like vodka rocks and handed me the other drink.

"Sex on the beach?" I asked, noticing the color.

"Almost. You have no alcohol tolerance. I told the bartender you were pregnant. He recommended Safe Sex on the Beach, in an ironic nod to the fact that we must not have practiced safe sex," Ranger replied, smiling at my horrified reaction.

"Why did you say I was pregnant?"

"Clubs don't like people ordering virgin drinks and get testy when they lose out on that money. You being pregnant was the best excuse. He was less likely to argue with me on it than if I had said you were an alcoholic or the designated driver."

I made the sign of the cross discretely. "If I end up pregnant after this afternoon's activities, we'll know God didn't find your lie funny either." Ranger smiled and sipped his drink, wisely saying nothing else.

We scanned the dance floor and bar while we sipped our drinks, but there was no sign of Velazquez.

"Let's dance," Ranger said, pulling me out on the dance floor. "We'll be able to scan the crowd better."

I followed him, weaving through people until we were close to the middle of the crowd. Ranger stopped and turned around, pulling me close to him. He gave me a brief kiss as he put his hands on my waist and started to move his hips in perfect time to the music. I started feeling a little nervous as I realized he was going to be a spectacular dancer.

"This may not be the time to mention this, but I'm not a very good dancer," I said, my lips brushing against Ranger's ear as I spoke.

"I am," he replied, his voice sexy and low even though he was trying to be heard above the roar. "Just move with me."

He pulled me closer and I let my hips move like his, running my hands up his arms and around his neck. Ranger placed the occasional soft kiss along my cheekbones and jawline. I knew his eyes were scanning the room, looking for Velazquez and that I should be doing the same thing, but I couldn't focus enough to remember what he even looked like. It was intoxicating to be doing something so sexy and normal with him. I could almost forget that we were working.

"I see him," Ranger said after we'd been dancing for about twenty minutes. "Turn around and look."

I turned my back to Ranger, but kept moving. "Your two o'clock," he told me.

I looked to the right and spotted Velazquez dancing with a drink his hand while two girls were grinding against him, one behind him and one in front. The girl in front was practically touching the floor, rubbing her ass all over his groin. It made any guilt I may have felt over lying to his girlfriend back in Trenton disappear. She was clearly better off without him.

He danced like that for another half hour before dismissing the girls and heading towards the bar.

"Here's our chance," Ranger said, grabbing my hand and pulling me after him.

When we got in sight of Velazquez, who looked to be ordering another whiskey, Ranger walked up to stand next to him at the bar. He said something that caught Velazquez's attention. He nodded and Ranger said something else that made Velazquez's eyebrows shoot up into his brow. I strained to hear what Ranger was saying, but it was impossible given the noise and his soft voice. Velazquez looked my way and gave me the once over before saying something to Ranger, who nodded and handed him a card before stepping away from the bar, pulling me with him.

We walked towards the back of the bar and out the back door, where the men with guns continued to stand guard. I immediately felt apprehensive, but Ranger continued his stride as though nothing were different. His only change was to let go of my hand and put his arm around my shoulders.

"Wait until we are in the car," he whispered into my ear after he placed a soft kiss in my hair. I nodded and smiled sweetly at him, giving the impression to outsiders that we were headed to a hotel room for the night.

Ranger started to speak once we were safely in the Escalade and had pulled out of the garage.

"I told Velazquez the story about working for a man who is looking for a new cocaine supplier. He is very interested, and he has agreed to meet us at the Illiana Yacht Club at three. That will give us enough time to get set up with Williams. The card I gave him has a GPS tracker inside of it, so as long as he keeps it, we'll know where he is. It's risky, but I had no other way of planting one on him without being obvious or having you grope him."

"That worked out really well," I told Ranger. "Almost too well. Do you think we'll have any problems?"

Ranger shook his head. "I don't think so. He's pretty desperate. I told him I had heard his boss was losing patience with him, so I think self-preservation will kick in and he'll show."

"I guess I'm just used to things going to shit when I do them, so I'm always surprised when they work out," I told Ranger.

"This one is abnormal," Ranger responded. "Normally I track an out-of-state FTA the way I do any other and bring them in quickly. Velazquez is a different case, but you've done great."

"I haven't done much," I told him. "You've had the contacts and the ideas. I just wore tight clothes, shook my ass a little, and put my name on the bond agreement."

Ranger smiled and patted my leg. "And you looked great doing it, babe."

I rolled my eyes as we parked along a curb on the next block so that we could follow Velazquez to see where he went when he left the club. Ranger made it look easy to bring in these out-of-state skips, and I suspected he was doing things a little more legitimately with me than he would have had he been on his own. But I was grateful nonetheless—not just for the help he was giving me and the ridiculous amount of money he was investing in my newest training venture. I was grateful for the faith he was putting in me, trying to show me that I could do this on my own.

We had been watching the alley until a little after one o'clock when we saw Velazquez walk out, dressed in a black trench coat. He walked into the garage and within five minutes was pulling down the alley in a white Ford Explorer. When he turned onto the road on which we were parked, Ranger started following at a distance. Since Velazquez wasn't due to meet us for nearly two hours, we figured he was planning to stop by wherever he was staying before coming out to the yacht club. We followed him south through the city into one of Chicago's more impoverished neighborhoods. Velazquez stopped in front of one of the better-looking battered brick apartment buildings in the neighborhood and got out of his car. Ranger drove past Velazquez and parked half a block down the street so that we could watch him in the mirrors.

We watched as Velazquez went inside the building, where he stayed for twenty minutes until he walked out again, followed by a man about his age and build. The man was wearing a white t-shirt and jeans. He was yelling at Velazquez, so I cracked my window slightly to be able to hear what he was saying.

"I blow you and this is what you do, huh? You just walk away because you need to score some big job? Fuck you, Joaquin. I thought we had something, but you're just another asshole on the down low. You'll go back to bangin' bitches and pretend this never happened," the man yelled, his voice echoing around the empty neighborhood.

Velazquez ignored the man, got into his SUV and pulled away without a glance back. Ranger waited until the Explorer had turned the corner before he started to follow it.

"That was unexpected," I commented after a few blocks. "I definitely don't feel bad for coming in between him and his girl back in Trenton."

"Do you not want him to be an active part of the imaginary twins' lives?" Ranger asked, smirking.

I snorted. "Not even for imaginary twins, though it would have nothing to do with him liking to have sex with men and everything to do with him being a sleaze bag in general."

We didn't speak anymore as we followed Velazquez through the city, where he wound around and went back to Lakeshore Drive. He pulled up to an underground garage near a high-rise building, typed in a code and was granted access. Ranger drove passed the garage and headed towards the interstate.

"We'll head to the yacht club," Ranger said. "Tank is watching the GPS and will update us when he moves again."

It took us half an hour to get to the Illiana Yacht Club, which was on a large lake just across the state line into Indiana. Tank called as we were pulling into the parking lot to say that Velazquez was driving in the direction of the club and was likely twenty minutes out. The lot was empty at two-thirty in the morning, with the exception of a dark blue Jeep. Ranger pulled up alongside it and rolled down his window. Williams did the same.

"He made a couple of stops in the city, but he's headed this way. ETA is twenty minutes," Ranger said. "How far is it to the airport from here?"

"Fifteen minutes or so," Williams replied.

We waited in silence for the next fifteen minutes until we saw headlights turn into the parking lot. It was Velazquez's Explorer. He pulled up behind the Escalade and turned his car off.

"He's alone," Ranger said, unbuckling his seat belt. "Stay here, Steph."

I made to argue that it was my skip, but Ranger shut the door before I could get anything out. Williams had also gotten out of his car and both men walked towards the Explorer. Velazquez stepped out of the SUV with a black messenger bag on his shoulder. Once he had shut his door, Williams announced that he was bond enforcement and that Velazquez was in violation of his bail. Velazquez, realizing he was screwed had turned to run, but Ranger had him by the back of coat and lying on the ground before he could take a step. I got out of the car and watched as Velazquez was handcuffed.

"You brought your bitch to watch me get arrested?" Velazquez asked once he saw me. "This your idea of a date?"

"She's the bond enforcement agent who will be taking you back to Trenton," Williams said, pulling Velazquez up to his feet. "I'm just getting you on the plane."

Overall, the tracking and takedown of Joaquin Velazquez had gone perfectly. With Ranger leading the whole thing, there wasn't a single explosion or bullet fired. I didn't fall into something disgusting or get any of the hair on my body singed off. On an even better note, I was only going to be out the ten thousand I owed to Williams for his part, rather than the nearly twenty-five thousand that it would have cost had Ranger not insisted on paying for the plane, hotel and car costs.

Of course, some things in life are constant. Water is wet, fire is hot, Ranger is sexy, and Stephanie will have to roll around on the ground with a half-naked FTA.

On the two-and-a-half hour plane ride from Chicago to Trenton, I had to listen to Joaquin Velazquez sexually harass me the entire time. He commented on every part of my body at least once, talked about my clothes and how much better they'd look on the floor, offered to perform a variety of sexual acts on me and asked me to reciprocate. I could ignore some, but others got my Italian temper up and I would say something shitty. Ranger was able to block it out and kept trying to keep me calm, but when Velazquez started developing a major boner and was working to get it out of his pants on the plane, Ranger's self-control failed and he informed Velazquez that if his dick came out of his pants, it would be cut off. To stress the point, Ranger pulled his knife out of his pocket and left it sitting on the seat next to him. Suffice it to say, Velazquez kept his pants on.

When we finally arrived at the Trenton airport, there were was a Rangeman SUV waiting for us with a man I didn't know as well behind the wheel. Ranger walked out of the plane first to be able to wait on Velazquez at the bottom, just in case he decided to try to make a run for it. I had a hold of Velazquez's arm as we walked down the steps from the small plane. I wasn't exactly sure how it happened, but Velazquez's pants suddenly fell down around his ankles as we walked, causing him to trip and bring me tumbling down the steps with him. Ranger had tried to brace us as we fell to the bottom, but ended up getting bowled over. When we finally stopped, Velazquez was underneath me, his boxers ripped and his Johnson rubbing up against me. Ranger was lying on the ground next to us, catching his breath. Once Velazquez realized the position we were in, he started grinding himself up against me, causing me to shriek and jump up off of him. Ranger grabbed Velazquez by the collar and stood him up, instructing him to put his pants back on. Velazquez fumbled with pulling up his jeans and buttoning them before being shoved into the back seat of the SUV.

"Sit in the front with Luis," Ranger told me, climbing in back with Velazquez. The ride from the airport to the jail took about fifteen minutes in which time Velazquez was completely silent. I suspected Ranger had his gun trained on Velazquez, but I didn't look back to find out. I got my body receipt for Velazquez and headed back out to the SUV, ready to go home and fall asleep wherever I fell. Round trip flying from Trenton to Chicago, marathon sex, and a tumble down the stairs of an airplane in less than twenty-four hours had worn me out. Ranger looked as tired as I felt as he unlocked the door ten minutes later and turned off the alarm. He dropped his bag by the front door and walked over the couch, falling back on to it and swearing as he did so.

"This couch is awful, babe."

I walked over to the couch, taking off my boots and nudging Ranger over so that I could lay down next to him. "I know it is. We really should buy a new one. Maybe we can go do that tomorrow. Or today. Or yesterday? Hell, I don't even know what day it is. I think I'm jetlagged."

"We only flew over one time zone for less than a day. I don't think you get jetlagged from that," Ranger mumbled sleepily.

We both squirmed on the couch, trying to get comfortable but failing due to the fact that the couch had hard ridges and we were two adults trying to sleep on a couch that one adult could barely sleep on.

"Why don't we go up to bed?" Ranger asked after fifteen minutes of repositioning.

"Because I don't have the energy to walk up the stairs," I replied, my voice muffled by the fact that my face was buried into his chest. "You could carry me if you really want to go up to bed."

"Not a chance," Ranger said, kissing my head. "Let's just sleep here. Maybe we'll feel like going upstairs later."

I fought off a smile as I fell asleep. My laziness was starting to rub off on Ranger. I just hoped my diet was next.


	22. Army Men

"Did you hear the news?" Lula asked as she bounded into the office. "Tank and I are back together."

Connie, who had just taken a sip of her coffee, spit it out all over her desk. "What?!"

"Seriously?" I asked, dumbfounded. "Wait a minute —does Tank know you two are back together?"

Lula gave us both the finger. "Your ass. Yes, he knows we're back together. I went over to his house last night and talked to him about it. Well, first I took an allergy pill because he has those damn cats still, but then we talked about getting back together. Well, actually, we got down to business, if you know what I mean. Twice. Then we talked about getting back together," she finished, selecting a doughnut from the box on the desk.

"So you are dating?" Connie asked slowly, as though she were speaking to someone mentally unstable and possibly dangerous. That was an actual possibility with Lula, considering her hair was lime green, she was wearing a leopard print coat with black Louboutin knock-offs, and carrying an assortment of weapons in her purse.

"Yes, he's back to being my honey again," Lula said, taking off her coat. "And that allergy medicine I got worked pretty good with his cats, so I don't sneeze my head off the entire time I'm there."

Connie and I looked at each other and shrugged, unsure of what else to say. I wasn't entirely sure that Tank was on board with getting back together with Lula, so I didn't want to feed into _Lula and Tank the Sequel_ until I'd had a chance to talk to Ranger and see if Tank knew he was back to being Lula's honey.

"Well, I need to get moving," I said, standing up. "It's hooker day. I've got Luis, Shoshana and two others to bring in, and then I'm calling it a day. It's freaking cold out."

"Do you need help?" Lula asked, looking eager to come with me.

"No," I replied quickly. "I know where to get everyone and want to get them all in one trip. I won't be able to fit everyone in if you come with me."

Lula huffed. "Fine. I don't want to hear it when you can't find any of these people because they are doing their business inside today."

I rolled my eyes behind Lula's back so that only Connie could see as I walked out the door into the cold February air. After the death of my Cayenne, Ranger had given me a new black Jeep Grand Cherokee, along with the three thousand dollars he'd won in the office pool. I'd used the money wisely, buying a new sofa and stocking my kitchen with new cookware and gizmos. I'd managed to drag Ranger to a furniture store where he had helped me choose a new brown leather sofa for the living room, but he had drawn the line at shopping for the kitchen.

Once I was inside the Cherokee, I synced my phone to the hands-free and called Ranger.

"Babe," Ranger said after the second ring.

"I heard some interesting news today," I said as I turned off of Hamilton. "Lula said she and Tank are a couple again. I was wondering if Tank knows about this."

"I heard the same thing. He knows and apparently consented to it."

"Tank needs his head examined," I replied. "Does he not remember what happened the last time they were together?"

"I offered to send him to the hospital for a psychological evaluation," Ranger said. "But he told me that people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones."

I processed that for a minute while I waited at a stoplight. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Apparently being in love with an overly flamboyant, plus-sized former-hooker-turned-bonds-office-file-clerk isn't much different than being in love with a sexy former-lingerie-buyer-turned-bounty-hunter with a penchant for destroying cars, burning down buildings, and attracting lunatics."

"Tank needs his head examined _and_ his ass kicked," I replied sourly. "What did you say to him when he said that?"

"He got his ass kicked in the gym. He got the message, but had to go home for the rest of the day. He wasn't in much of a condition to work."

I felt a sense of smug delight at the thought of Ranger standing up for me, though I suspected that Lula might not see it that way. Especially if Tank weren't in any shape to perform later that day.

"I was going to call you," Ranger said. "Do you remember Kevin Hutchins and Julio Garcia? They were in the same unit with Kinsey and me, and they were at his funeral?"

"Yeah, I remember them."

"They called to say they are in Trenton today and wanted to see me, so I invited them over to the house this evening. Do you mind?"

"Not at all," I said, glad that Ranger was feeling comfortable enough to ask people over to the house. "What time are we expecting them?"

"Eight. They are having dinner with other friends beforehand."

Perfect. I didn't have to worry about cooking them anything. "Sounds good. I'll see you later."

It took me two hours to round up all four FTAs. None of them had been out on their street corners when I checked, so I'd had to go door-to-door. Apparently men didn't like whipping their dicks out in cold weather for fear of frost bite. I had threatened to handcuff them all to the sissy bars in the Cherokee if they tried to escape while I was picking up the next FTA. They all started making suggestions of the other things we could do with the handcuffs, making me feel a bit sick. I wasn't in the mood to be gang-banged by some of Trenton's not-so-finest, so I compromised with them, saying I'd pay for everyone's meal at Cluck in the Bucket before I took them to jail if they all stayed in the car. On my way home, I stopped by a liquor store and picked up a couple of bottles of nice wine to have with Kevin and Julio that evening. I wondered how much information I'd be able to get out of them about Ranger when he was a young soldier. He rarely talked about his time in the military—or anything else for that matter— so I knew I'd have to rely on his old comrades to give me the dirt.

Since it was cold outside and I didn't want to get the kitchen dirty because we had company coming over, I decided to order Chinese food for dinner. Ranger arrived home at the same time as the delivery guy, who gave me the stink eye for making him come out in this weather. I made sure to give him an extra-large tip.

"I didn't want to get the kitchen messy," I told Ranger as I shut the front door. "We're having company over in a little while."

"That's some far-fetched justification, babe."

Ranger was quiet as we ate, which surprised me a little bit. He was always quiet, but this was something else. Preoccupied.

"Are you excited to see Kevin and Julio?" I asked as I threw away my take-out boxes. "I know you didn't have much opportunity to catch up when they came back for Kinsey's funeral."

Ranger didn't meet my gaze as he continued to eat his lemon chicken. "I saw them in November. They were part of the team that came to get me in Somalia."

"Really?" I said, stunned at this revelation. I was wondering why Ranger had never told me about this, considering everything else he told me. "I had been under the impression that you were released by your captors, not rescued."

"That's the party line," Ranger said. "The unit keeps a very low profile."

"Are you nervous to see them? Because they saw you after you'd been tortured?"

"They've seen me in bad situations. We were all captured and tortured together in Colombia. Hutchins and Garcia happened to walk in on one of the times I was being—," Ranger trailed off, his voice tight. "Garcia shot the guy while he was in the act of using a nightstick on me. It was still in—,"

Ranger immediately stood up, hurried to the kitchen sink and was sick. I had barely managed not to faint after hearing what Ranger said, but I walked over to him and started rubbing circles on his back while trying to ignore the wave of nausea that washed over me. After he finished heaving, he turned on the water and rinsed his mouth and the sink. He bent over, putting his head in his hands and took several deep breaths. I wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my head on his shoulder.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" I asked quietly. "You could always cancel."

Ranger straightened up after a couple of minutes and took another deep breath. "No, I need to do this. I've been through hell with these two. It's hard for me, knowing that they found me in such a vulnerable position, but I can't ignore them because I'm ashamed. They'll always be a part of my life. I need to face it and accept it, the way I did with you."

He kissed me on the forehead and went upstairs. I gave him a few minutes alone by cleaning up in the kitchen before I followed him, thinking about how much he still suffered, even if it wasn't as obvious anymore. I walked into the bedroom and checked out my reflection in the mirror. I was wearing jeans and a blue V-neck sweater that brought out my eyes, along with my sapphire earrings. In an effort to clear my mind of what Ranger had just told me, I debated about how to wear my hair while Ranger was in the bathroom, brushing his teeth. I ended up pulling the top half of my hair back in a barrette, admiring how it looked when he came into the bedroom.

"They're gay, babe. They won't appreciate your body as much as I do," Ranger said, seeming a little more relaxed. He came up behind me and put his arms around me, kissing my neck and looking at me in the mirror.

"So they're a couple?" I asked, leaning back against Ranger. "I suspected it when I talked to Julio at the funeral, but wasn't sure."

Ranger nodded, kissing my shoulder before removing his arms from my waist. "They met when our unit was formed and have been together since almost the beginning. They tried to be discreet about it, but when you are as isolated and as tight-knit as we were, it was impossible to keep secret for long. The rest of us didn't care, but we all had to keep it quiet. Don't Ask, Don't Tell regulations meant that had they been found out, they both would have been discharged."

The doorbell rang, ending our discussion. I followed Ranger downstairs and he opened the front door to reveal Kevin and Julio. They were both dressed in civilian clothes and had slight beard growth. Two military men enjoying some freedom from strict regulations.

They both greeted Ranger happily and walked inside, unbuttoning identical black peat coats. Julio was wearing a long-sleeved green plaid shirt, worn unbuttoned over a grey t-shirt, and jeans. Kevin was wearing a grey sweater and jeans.

"You guys remember Stephanie," Ranger said, hanging their coats and nodding to me. I shook hands with both men and invited them into the living room.

After getting a glass of wine for all of us, I sat down in the middle of the sofa next to Ranger, curling my legs underneath my body. Julio and Kevin were sitting in the pair of armchairs that were situated to our right. By listening to the conversation, I learned that Kevin and Julio had decided to retire, having both served twenty years in the Army. Julio was eager to get to work in the private sector and would be starting a job as a recruiter for a university in New York. Kevin joked he hadn't decided what he wanted to be when he grew up, so he was going to relax and enjoy his freedom for a bit.

"I'm surprised you're not going back to Miami," Ranger said, finishing the last of his wine. He seemed cool and collected, but I could feel that he was tense. I wondered if Kevin and Julio could tell, or if they hadn't spent enough time around him in the past decade to recognize the subtly in his body language.

"We wanted a change of scenery," Kevin replied with a shrug. "We like experiencing four seasons."

"How do your families feel about it?" Ranger asked, setting his wine glass on the coffee table.

Kevin laughed. "My dear baby sister was finally able to accept that I was gay about ten years ago, so she's excited about it. My mom has lived in denial about our relationship all these years, so she was upset, telling me I was going to hell for it. I reminded her that Rachel got divorced from the one-night stand that knocked her up at nineteen, but I didn't hear her tell Rachel she was going to burn in hell. That shut her up quickly. My dad just kind of ignores everything in a way only he can. Julio's family follows a similar pattern."

Something caught my attention when Kevin was talking about his family and I was staring into space, trying to process it all when I found Ranger staring at me. "I just realized I've never told you that Kevin is Rachel's brother. That's how I met her."

Geez louise. Ranger had slept with his unit mate's sister? I knew Ranger's moral code was fairly loose when it came to women, but that one surprised even me. I'd have thought his relationship with Kevin would have been more important.

"Yeah, I had just innocently introduced her to him one night when were at the beach with a group of people from my neighborhood. Thought nothing of it, until I call home a month later after we'd gone back to Afghanistan to find out that he had gotten her pregnant," Kevin said, trying to look angry but not doing a very good job of it.

I looked at Ranger, who shrugged in a 'shit happens' way.

"I have a question," I said, fighting back a smile as I pointed to Ranger. "How is he still alive if he banged your little sister and got her pregnant?" I asked Kevin, making all three men laugh.

"Oh trust me, I tried to kill him," Kevin said, smiling. "But I was no match for him. Once I calmed down enough to listen to him and Rachel and learned he was going to be responsible about the whole thing, I decided to stop plotting his death. And then I held Julie for the first time, and decided I couldn't hate him for it any longer."

"Not that I have much of a defense," Ranger said, putting his hand on my thigh. "But I was only there that night because my grandfather had died that morning, and Hutchins told me that I needed to distract myself by getting drunk and getting laid, so I did. Not the best move I've ever made, but my judgment was impaired by grief and tequila."

"So which one of those factors is to blame for you fucking my sister on the beach, and which is to blame for not using a condom when you did it?"

Ranger thought about it for a moment. "Grief and tequila, respectively."

I gave Ranger a disbelieving look. He was known for not always using condoms even when stone-cold sober. Mind my immediately recalled numerous occasions when my only form of birth control with Ranger had been frantic, post-coital prayers of 'Please God, don't let me get pregnant'.

"I get the feeling Stephanie's calling bullshit on one of those things," Julio said. "Probably the condom thing, unless Ranger's slept with her sister."

I smirked, but said nothing on the matter.

Conversation moved on to war stories, which Kevin and Julio used to enlighten me to the badass stuff Ranger had done in various different countries. Even though I knew Ranger was fearless and brave, some of the stuff was shocking and gave me chills to think about him doing and how different my life would be if he hadn't lived through the event.

"I'm going to need more wine if I have to hear about any more of your near-death experiences," I told Ranger.

Kevin volunteered to help me get more wine for everyone while Julio and Ranger talked something Kinsey had done when they were in Iraq.

"I owe you an enormous thank you, by the way," Kevin said, standing at the island while I poured the rest of the wine into two glasses and opened a new bottle for the rest. "You put yourself at risk to help get Julie home when she was kidnapped. She's my girl, and it would have killed me if she hadn't made it out of that alive."

I shrugged. "It was really Ranger. I just quit trying to not get kidnapped. He was the one who found the guy, and got shot so that Julie and I could finally get rescued. Really, I owe you my gratitude. He told me you guys were part of the unit that got him out of Somalia. I was here at home terrified until I learned he was safe."

Kevin's expression immediately became guarded. "How much do you know about what happened over there?"

I gave him a significant look and lowered my voice. "Everything, though I didn't know until right before you got here that you and Julio had found him–and how you found him."

Kevin relaxed a little, looking down at the counter. "Yeah, it was awful. Our unit had been tortured once when we captured in Colombia, but it was nothing compared to what he had been through. It actually gave me nightmares, and was part of the reason Julio and I decided to retire now, rather than waiting another five years like we had planned. How's he been doing?"

"The first month was awful," I said, pouring wine into the remaining two glasses. "Things have been better lately. He's so strong. It always amazes me how he manages to cope with things." Or at least keep his suffering to himself, I added in my head.

We returned to the living room and I handed Ranger his glass of wine. He gave me a questioning look that made me realize he wondered what Kinsey and I had been talking about in the kitchen. I gave him a smile and a kiss on the cheek as I settled back down next to him.

"Julie had a request when I told her I was going to stop and see you," Kevin said after taking a sip of wine. "She wanted me to ask when you two are going to get married, as she said you give her a lame excuse or change the subject every time she asks. She thought you might be more honest with me than her."

Ranger rolled his eyes. "She's going to be disappointed, because you'll just be getting the same line she gets. Stephanie is also divorced, so neither of us are eager to rush into anything, even if we've known each other for four years."

I nodded in agreement. "I'm not as lucky as Ranger to have a good relationship with my ex though. My ex cheated on me with half of the women in Trenton before I found him on the dining room table with my high school enemy eight months into our marriage. I've tried to strangle him on two occasions in the nine years we've been divorced. Not to mention our divorce was a spectacle. I called him names that don't even exist and he gave graphic details during court proceedings about what I would and wouldn't do in bed. The pig."

Julio laughed. "If I were still into women, I'd be fighting Ranger to date you."

"And I guarantee you would lose more than just the fight," Ranger said, smirking.

Kevin and Julio ended up staying until eleven o'clock before heading back to their hotel for the night. I had gone upstairs after telling them good-bye so that Ranger could have a couple of minutes to talk to them without me, in case they wanted to talk about anything that they didn't necessarily want me to hear. I was relaxing in the Jacuzzi when Ranger knocked once on the bathroom door and came inside.

"How are you doing?" I asked. "Feeling any better now that you've seen them?"

Ranger nodded and sat on the edge of the tub. "Yes. They told me as they were leaving that they had been the ones to do a debrief on the guy from the State department and he had mentioned what they had done to me during his interview. They kept it off the record, both from his interview and their account of the trip, since they knew I wouldn't have said anything about it on record."

"That's good. One less thing for you to think about."

"What were you and Hutchins talking about in the kitchen? You two started talking quietly."

I repositioned the small towel I had rolled up behind my neck before answering. "I had thanked him for saving you in Somalia. He'd asked what I knew about what happened there and I told him you'd told me everything. He asked how you were doing and I said you'd been doing better lately. He said it had been hard on him to see how badly you'd been tortured and had been part of the reason he and Julio decided to retire now. They must be worried about going through something similar."

"Hutchins said the same thing to me," Ranger said. "Their unit had been out on a mission not long after that and Garcia had gotten captured when they were ambushed. They were in a country that they really couldn't afford being caught in, so Hutchins ended up going in after Garcia. He had to kill the person who had him and get rid of the evidence before they were caught. It was a close call and they decided it was their last."

I shuddered. "I don't blame them. I hate the idea of you going anywhere dangerous again."

Ranger laughed. "Babe, I'm in danger constantly just by being with you."

I splashed him with water. "Jerk."

"Sticks and stones."

"I might be willing to forgive you if you get in with me," I said sweetly.

Ranger stood and started stripping. "You don't have to hold a gun to my head."

I leaned forward so that he could climb in behind me, settling me between his legs. I leaned back against him and closed my eyes. "This is nice. You're forgiven."

We spent the next half an hour relaxing in each other's company. Ranger's hands ran over my body, running the length of my leg from my hips to my knees, across my belly and up over my breasts. It was intimate and soothing and just the thing I needed to forget about the horrifying revelation Ranger had made earlier in the evening. Eventually one of Ranger's hands found its way between my legs, rubbing me gently before sliding two fingers inside me. I groaned and pressed back against him, where I felt an erection poking me in the back. He started kissing my neck as his other hand found my breast, massaging it and teasing my nipple. Unable to resist any longer, I turned around and faced Ranger, kissing him as I worked to straddle him. I lowered myself onto him and started moving, the water sloshing around me as I did so. I leaned back slightly as Ranger started sucking on one of my nipples, making me moan loudly as I picked up my pace. After a few minutes, Ranger grabbed my hips and started moving me faster, lifting his own hips slightly to meet me thrust for thrust. I definitely make noise during sex with Ranger, but in that moment I was especially loud and thankful that the people who had been living in the townhouse next door to mine had moved out shortly after the new year to retire to Florida, though Ranger had joked that it was probably all the moans and thumping from my headboard that had driven them away. Once we finished, I laid my head on Ranger's shoulder for a minute while I worked to catch my breath. He was also breathing heavily as he ran his hand down my back. I eventually sat up and looked down at the water. It had gone down about a third of what it had been before we started having sex. I peeked over the edge and groaned.

"Shit, I've flooded the bathroom."

Ranger chuckled, kissing my neck and tweaking my nipple. "You were really riding me, babe. I'm surprised the tub didn't go through the floor."

We quickly drained the tub and showered so that we could actually be clean. We stepped out into a significant amount of water on the white tile floor. Ranger grabbed extra towels from the linen closet and we soaked up the water before heading to our room to get dressed.

"I can't believe Rachel is Kevin's sister," I told him as I pulled on a t-shirt. "You actually slept with your friend's sister."

"Like I said, it wasn't one of my best judgment calls. I wasn't in a good place emotionally that night, and I got drunk on top of it. It's one of the reasons why I don't drink too much. I do stupid shit like have unprotected sex with my friend's eighteen-year-old sister."

"Give me a break," I said, putting hands on hips. "You've not used a condom with me several times in the past, and you hadn't been drinking at all on those occasions."

"It wasn't that often," Ranger said, smiling. "We just got caught up in the moment."

"Our first night together, the Turbo, a couple of times in Hawaii and then in Joyce's closet," I said, counting off on my fingers. "And the last two times resulted in a pregnancy scare."

"Really?" Ranger said, looking surprised. "You never said anything."

"When I was four days late, I told myself I couldn't live in denial anymore and took a home test. It came back negative, thankfully."

Ranger smiled. "That would have been an interesting situation if it had come back positive. Morelli tried to kick my ass just because he presumed I'd slept with you. Imagine what would have happened had I gotten you pregnant."

"I don't want to imagine it," I said, pulling the quilt back on the bed and climbing in. "You likely would have had to kill him, and I would have had to carry that guilt around. Not to mention the whole having a baby thing."

"We would have been fine, babe," Ranger said as he got into bed next to me. "That's something we've never talked about —having children."

I looked over at Ranger in surprise. "It's not something I thought you'd want to discuss. I didn't think you wanted a family. You said you don't even know if you'll ever want to get married."

Ranger shrugged. "Sometimes perspective changes. I'm not saying I'm going to start swapping out your birth control pills with Tic-Tacs, but I've been thinking about it since I came back from Somalia. Obviously it's a conversation we will have at some point, though we should probably have a conversation about marriage first."

I could hear my heart thumping in my ears. Did Ranger want to marry me? Was he planning to propose?

"Breathe, Stephanie," Ranger said, brushing my cheek with his knuckles. "I'm not going to be rushing us into anything. I meant what I said to Hutchins."

I let out a sigh. "Okay. It's not that I don't want to marry _you_ , you know that right? Marriage just gives me heart palpitations since my first attempt at it failed so spectacularly."

Ranger kissed me. "I know, babe. Don't worry about it. Let's go to sleep. "

But I couldn't sleep that night. I lay awake until morning, thinking about Ranger, marriage and children. Would he really ask me to marry him? What if he wanted to get married, but only if I wanted children? Did I want to have children? I hadn't stayed awake thinking so much since the night that Ranger had told me I could have him if I was willing to be tolerate his dark past and personality.

I worried about whether I was good enough for Ranger. His intelligence, life experiences and self-control were light-years beyond my own. I didn't eat healthy or cook well. I had a tendency to get myself into trouble, which meant he almost always had to intervene. And I wondered if he would ever give more of himself. The niggling thought that it didn't look like he lived here unless someone looked in the closet came to mind. He may have moved in with me, but his life here was just as sterile as his life at the apartment in Rangeman. I wanted him to feel comfortable enough to move his stuff from the Newark apartment into my house—our _home_ —, but as I finally drifted off to sleep around five in the morning, I wondered if he would ever trust me that much.


	23. Catalyst

March came through Trenton like the proverbial lion, bringing with it biting cold rain and gloom. I came home soaked to the bone one Thursday evening, having just spent two hours trying to wrangle Felipe Hernandez into my Jeep. He'd eventually gotten so cold and wet that he had acquiesced, just as I was about to give up for the same reason. I had just shut the door and walked into the kitchen when I heard footsteps on the stairs. It either meant that Ranger was home from his four-day trip to his Miami office, or else I'd interrupted a burglary. A minute later, Ranger appeared in the kitchen, dressed in a long-sleeved black t-shirt and cargo pants. Good thing all around considering I was grouchy enough to have shot a burglar without too much remorse. He stopped, hands on hips, and shook his head.

"You look like you went for a swim, babe," Ranger said as I took off my wet jacket and tossed it into the laundry room.

"It hasn't been a good day," I told him, peeling off my wet shirt and kicking off my shoes, sending them into the laundry room as well. "We are definitely having take-out for dinner tonight."

Ranger continued to watch as I stripped out of my soaked jeans and bra and threw them on top of the pile, standing only in my blue panties. "You forgot a piece."

"It's the only thing that's not soaked."

"That's disappointing. Is that what happens after people are together long enough?" Ranger asked. "My presence alone used to be enough to get them wet."

I laughed, feeling my nipples get hard as he moved closer to me. His expression was intense, his brown eyes dilated black and his body language was possessive, and I knew it wouldn't be long before my panties joined the pile of wet clothes in the laundry room.

We had managed to make our way to the couch for two incredibly satisfying rounds of _I-missed-you_ sex before trying to decide on dinner.

"I can cook tonight," Ranger offered.

I picked my head up off his chest and looked at him. "Seriously?"

He nodded. "I've told you before that I can cook. I did live on my own without a housekeeper for quite a while."

"I just never thought I'd hear you volunteer. I thought you'd avoid it the way you try to avoid dinner at my parents' house."

Ranger kissed me on the head and nudged me off of him so that he could stand up and put his pants on. "This is more enjoyable. Less fattening and doesn't make me want to shoot myself before it's all over. What do we have in there for me to work with?"

I grimaced. "Probably not a lot —I haven't been to the store since before you went to Miami."

He watched me for a moment as I laid on the sofa on my stomach, propped up on my elbows. He didn't say anything but his eyes were laughing. Ranger shook his head, bent down to pick up his shirt, stopping to kiss me on the small of my back before he straightened again.

"I'll be back."

I laughed. "Here I've always had you pegged as Batman, but the Terminator could work as well."

That earned me a mega-watt smile. "Whatever gets you off, babe."

After Ranger left I went upstairs to shower and changed into dry clothes before going back downstairs to start the laundry. I had just put my coat in dryer when I heard my phone start ringing in the kitchen.

The caller ID told me it was Morelli.

"What's up?" I asked as I connected to the call. There hadn't been any contact with Morelli since the night that my Cayenne had been destroyed.

"I wanted to see if you would be willing to take Bob. I'm planning on moving in with my girlfriend, but she's allergic to dogs. I thought I should give you the chance to take him first, since he originally belonged to you," Morelli said.

I bit down on my bottom lip. I loved Bob, but he was a bit destructive. He'd gotten a little better as time had gone on, but I wondered if he would revert back if he were in a new place with me. Not to mention, I wasn't sure if Ranger would want Bob living with us. But I also couldn't imagine anyone else having Bob. I had a horrible feeling he would be the kind of dog that would be sent to the shelter or shuttled between owners who couldn't tolerate his bad habits. The idea made me feel sick.

"I'll have to check with Ranger, but if he says yes, then I'll take him," I replied.

"Why do you need Ranger's permission?" Morelli asked. "You never asked my permission for anything. What's changed?"

"He lives with me now. He has as much of a say in Bob living with us as I do," I said, standing my ground and trying not to sound too pissy.

There was a full minute of silence. "How long has he lived with you?"

"Since right before Christmas."

Another silence. "And it's working out?"

"Yep," I said, proudly. "He's really easy to live with."

"And I wasn't?"

I blew out a sigh. "That's all water under the bridge, Joe. We were both at fault for things not working out."

"Whatever. I'm waiting to move until he's gone so the sooner you know if you have Ranger's blessing, the better."

I disconnected from Morelli with the promise of getting in touch that evening once I had an answer from Ranger. I knew he wouldn't need long to consider it. Whether or not to have a dog wasn't going to be one of the hardest decisions Ranger had ever made.

He arrived home ten minutes later, carrying three plastic grocery bags. I began unpacking one of the bags he put on the island and decided there was no time like the present to ask him about Bob.

"Morelli called me a few minutes ago to ask if I would be willing to take Bob," I said as I unpacked vegetables and put them in the refrigerator. "He's moving in with his new girlfriend, and she's allergic."

Ranger shrugged out of his coat and carried it to the coat closet under the stairs. "So what did you tell him?"

"I told him I needed to ask you first."

Ranger stopped in his tracks and gave me a strange look. "You don't need my permission, babe. It's your house, and partially your dog."

"This is _our_ house," I corrected him. "And your input is as important as mine."

I couldn't tell what was going through Ranger's head in that moment, but his expression was a mixture of surprise and affection. After a moment, he walked over and took my head in his hands, pulling me into a tender kiss.

"What do you want?"

I shrugged. "I want Bob to come here. I can't imagine he'd be able to find much of a permanent home. I don't think anyone else would put up with his destructive behavior. All I can think of are those foster kids that get shuttled around to different houses because they've turned into juvenile delinquents —not because they're bad, but because no one ever gave them a chance."

"Nice analogy," Ranger replied. "Are you trying to guilt me into saying yes?"

"No!" I exclaimed. "I was just trying to make a point."

"Bring him here," he said. "I like dogs, and dogs like me. I might even train him not to destroy the house."

I threw my arms around his neck. "Thank you, thank you, thank you."

Ranger kissed me on the forehead. "You're welcome. Lucy called me while I was out to ask if we would be home on Saturday afternoon and I told her we would be. She's going to be in town visiting her grandmother and wants to bring the babies by so that I can meet them and for her to have a chance to visit with you. She said something about missing adult conversations that didn't include the phrases 'diaper change', 'poop', 'spit-up' or 'not tonight'."

I laughed. "I'm glad to hear she hasn't lost her sense of humor since she became a parent."

I spent the next hour watching Ranger prepare our dinner, which turned out to be blackened salmon, wild rice and salad. It was odd to see him so at ease in such a domestic task, chopping vegetables and seasoning the salmon with almost-expert skills. I had started to collect dishes to set the table, but Ranger stopped me, informing me that he was going to do all of it.

"That was amazing," I replied as I finished the last bite of salmon. "You've confirmed the Holy Trinity of Cuban Perfection: bedroom, dance floor and kitchen."

Ranger smirked. "Did you doubt me?"

"No, it just annoys me at times how perfect you are."

I called Morelli back once we'd cleaned up from dinner. He said he would bring Bob up to Trenton on Sunday, sounding relieved that I was taking him. I knew Morelli loved Bob as much as I did and hated the idea of him going to someone who may not be able to tolerate him or love him in the same way as we did.

Saturday morning found me in a domestic state that reflected my Burg upbringing. I had gotten up when Ranger did, but while he had gone for a run, taken a shower and got dressed for work, I had been vacuuming, dusting, cleaning the downstairs powder room and putting breakable items on high shelves.

"The babies aren't even three months old yet. I don't think they'll be knocking off your souvenirs from Hawaii," Ranger said, sipping coffee from a mug. He was dressed in his normal black cargo pants and black long-sleeved T-shirt.

I wiped a small bead of sweat from my forehead. "It's not for the babies, it's for Bob. He has absolutely no control over his tail. I don't want him breaking everything. It'll be enough to keep him from eating the furniture."

Ranger left for work, saying he be home by two when Lucy was due to stop by. I decided to get dressed and head into the bond's office to see if anything had come in from Friday. I stopped for donuts and coffee and pulled up at the same time as Lula.

"Howdy," Lula said, relieving me of the donut box. "I hope you got some extra donuts this morning, because I really worked up an appetite last night. Tank and I have been going at it like gorillas since we got back together. I tell you, he's got some real stamina."

I suppressed a shudder as I pushed open the bonds office door. "I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that."

''Didn't hear what?" Connie asked, taking her coffee from the cardboard carrier that I sat on her desk.

"About how much Tank and I like to get busy," Lula said, opening the box and taking out three donuts before putting it on Connie's desk. "Like she don't got a good sex life of her own. I wouldn't mind hearing about Ranger's moves in bed."

"No kidding," Connie said, choosing a Boston Crème. "I want to take notes. And get some measurements."

I immediately recalled Ranger's confession on New Year's Eve and suppressed a second shudder. I'd been able to push the idea of Connie and Ranger doing the deed into the small part of my mind where I stored other undesirable thoughts, but this was a treacherous situation that brought icky images to my mind and a queasy feeling to my stomach.

"No way," I said. "No one is getting frequency, times, measurements, pictures, moves, or anything else other than the knowledge that Ranger and I do have sex. Great sex. Mind-blowing sex, to be exact."

Lula and Connie both had strange looks on their faces while I had been talking, and for a minute I'd thought it was because they were surprised that I was being so tight-lipped about my sex life. Then I realized I had felt a draft from outside blow in while I'd been talking. I turned around slowly to see Ranger in the doorway, leaning casually against the wall and clearly fighting the urge to smile.

"You wanted to see me?" he asked Connie, not moving from where he stood or taking his eyes off of me. I was feeling a little embarrassed to be caught talking about our sex life to Lula and Connie. I knew he was extremely private, but I hoped he would know me well enough to know that I had meant what I said. No one was getting any details out of me.

"I have an FTA that's pretty ugly, and I didn't think you'd want me to give him to Stephanie. He's a serial rapist who only got out on bond because his lawyer found a loophole," Connie said, picking up a file folder.

Ranger walked past me and took the file and read it. He signed the paperwork and handed the form to Connie so she could make a copy. "You're right, I don't want Stephanie going after this guy. She's just his type."

Connie, Lula and I all shuddered at the thought.

Ranger took the file with him and walked back towards the door, stopping to kiss me above the ear. "See you at two."

I followed him out of the office and into the dreary weather. Thankfully it wasn't raining, but the air was cool. "You do know that I meant what I said to them, right? I would never tell them about our sex life."

"Babe, I know that. But it's still nice to hear you say the sex is mind-blowing," Ranger said, smiling widely.

I looked back over my shoulder to see Connie and Lula watching us through the window. Probably hoping we'd go at it on the hood of the Turbo so that they could take notes on moves.

"They want to know what it's like to have sex with you, though Lula is the only one you haven't been with."

It was finally Ranger's turn to shudder. "Not a thought I want in my head, babe."

I said good-bye and went back into the warmth of the office, ignoring Lula's comments about seeing if Tank would be available for a nooner.

Ranger had beat me getting home that afternoon. I pulled up behind his Turbo shortly before two and went inside. He was standing in the kitchen, drinking a bottle of water and eating an apple. I noticed his Glock, his back-up gun and his knife lying on the island.

"I never keep my weapons on me when I'm around the kids," he said. "I don't like to expose them to that side of my life."

I wasn't sure why I was so surprised by the move, but I was. Especially since the babies were so little they wouldn't know what a gun was even if he waved it in their faces. But it gave me a warm feeling inside to think about Ranger taking such care around children. And my mind immediately flashed back to the night I'd laid awake wondering if Ranger would want to marry me if I didn't want children. I pushed the thought away, not wanting to ruin the afternoon worrying about something that may never be an issue.

Thankfully the doorbell rang a minute later as I was hanging my coat up in the closet so I couldn't continue to worry. Ranger answered the door, exposing us to the sounds of two crying babies and a bedraggled-looking Lucy who was holding a car seat in each hand, a diaper bag on one shoulder and her purse on the other. Ranger took one of the babies from her and held the door open.

"They're hungry," Lucy yelled over the noise. "Can I heat up their bottles?"

I took the other baby from Lucy, told her to make herself at home and went over to the couch, where Ranger was unbuckling what looked to be the baby boy from his car seat. I followed his lead and took the baby girl out of her seat. She was dressed in little black pants and a pink, long-sleeved shirt with flowers on it. The boy was wearing navy blue pants and a blue-and-white striped sweater. Both had brown eyes and complexions lighter than the Manosos' but darker than Lucy's. They were absolutely adorable, if you could look past the screaming. The boy—whose name I remembered was Liam— had stopped crying once Ranger had picked him up and held him. Layla, the girl, had proceeded to cry harder once I had picked her up. I caught sight of Ranger in my peripheral vision. He was watching me struggle with the wailing Layla and smirking.

"Oh shut up," I said, bouncing Layla in my arms in an attempt to sooth her. "I know, I know. You aren't only the dog whisperer, but the baby whisperer as well."

Ranger was holding Liam against his chest and patting him on the back. "When Julie was born, I took a two-week leave so that I could go to Miami. I stayed with Rachel and helped her out. I made sure to remember the tricks to soothing crying babies. It's a good skill to have."

I tried to cuddle Layla into my chest and pat her on the back, but she didn't like it. I was pretty sure she hated me and was hoping her Uncle Carlos wouldn't be stupid enough to marry me someday. As I watched Ranger hold Liam, I was taken back to the feelings I'd had when I'd been walking down the aisle at Kinsey's and Amanda's wedding rehearsal. It was the bizarre "what if" scenario again, yet this time it was Ranger holding our baby . I started to feel a little light-headed at the idea and had to sit down to avoid falling or dropping Layla. Ranger caught my eye and I had a feeling he knew what had been going through my mind. Lucy chose that moment to return with the bottles and saved me from having to explain anything.

We offered to feed the babies so that Lucy could relax a little. Ranger took to it like a pro, holding Liam in the crook of his arm while the baby happily drank his bottle. Layla also settled down once she started drinking, but had squirmed and screamed the entire time I'd spent trying to find a comfortable position.

"How is motherhood?" I asked Lucy.

She laughed. "It's great. I mean, it's exhausting especially when you have two at the same time, but Emilio is a great father and we have a good routine down. Today is off because I brought them down to visit my grandmother, but overall they are good babies. I do miss my life pre-baby life though. It's all bottles, diapers, spit-up, exhaustion and laundry right now. But I wouldn't trade them for anything. We miscarried three times before finally having them."

I noticed Lucy watching us as we finished feeding the babies and proceeded to try to burp them. Liam emitted a very manly burp, but didn't spit up. I burped Layla, who made a discreet little noise, but spit up what looked like half the bottle she'd just drank all over my jeans. Lucy jumped up and helped me clean up both myself and Layla while Ranger fought a smile. I gave him the finger as I walked past him to head upstairs to change my jeans. He covered Liam's eyes.

"Don't look, Liam. She's being a bad influence," he said, smiling widely.

After I changed and no longer smelled like regurgitated formula, I went back downstairs, where Ranger had swapped out babies and was holding Layla, who was smiling at him and cooing.

"Why don't you try Liam?" Lucy said, handing him to me. "He's more laid back than Layla and prefers to be held by women. Layla's a bit of a drama queen, and she loves men. She always does better for Emilio than me."

As soon as I took Liam from his mother, he immediately began to cry. I tried bouncing him, patting him and snuggling him to my chest, but nothing worked.

"He hates me too," I said, handing him back to Lucy. "I'm probably not cut out to be a mother, and they can sense it."

"Nonsense," Lucy said. "You will be a great mother. It's easier when it's your own kids. I know I used to feel the same way whenever I'd hold other people's kids."

I wasn't sure if that was true or not, but didn't pursue the topic further. We talked for the next hour, catching up on how the rest of the family was doing and Lucy told us about plans for Easter dinner. I watched Ranger as he interacted with his baby niece. It was a side of him that I had never seen before and it brought up all kinds of feelings that I didn't like to name. He was comfortable with her, talking to her in Spanish and she continued to smile and make little baby noises at him.

At one point, I found Lucy watching me watch Ranger with Layla and she gave me a wink and knowing smile. Damn it. I didn't want her running back to the family and telling everyone she thought I'd be wanting a baby soon. I didn't even know if I could pursue the marriage route, let alone the baby route.

The babies and Lucy were packed up and on their way back home by four, wanting to get back to Newark before they were due to eat again. Layla had fallen asleep in Ranger's arms and he had been incredibly tender when he put her into her car seat and buckled her in. He helped Lucy get the kids into the car and I waved good-bye from the front door.

"I need to go back to the office for a couple of hours," Ranger said once he'd come back inside. "I'll take your car since it's at the end of the drive."

I walked with him to the back door and gave him a kiss good-bye, thankfully dodging any conversation about marriage or children. I wondered if Ranger had been able to sense any more uneasiness or wandering thoughts while the babies were there. I felt more confused than I ever had when it came to Ranger, marriage and children. He had been so good with his niece and nephew, and even though his relationship with Julie had been atypical, I knew he was a good father. In the past, I would have never even let myself consider these things with Ranger because I knew where he had stood. But after his confession in February that his perspective on marriage and family had started to change, I had been torn between excitement and terror.

My musings were interrupted by a text message dinging on my phone. It was from Morelli.

 **Can I bring Bob up to you tonight instead of tomorrow? I'm going to have to work tomorrow.**

I replied to his text message. **Sure, I'll be home all evening.**

His replied arrived a couple of minutes later. **Thanks. We'll be there by six. I have his bed, food and tennis balls, so you won't need to buy anything today.**

After that, I went through the entire house, making sure that anything chewable in Bob's reach was put away if possible. I sent up a prayer, asking God to have mercy on me and keep Bob from destroying everything, since we were being kind enough to take him.

I ended up ordering _Pino's_ for dinner, getting a meatball sub for Bob as a 'welcome to your new home' treat. I ordered Ranger a spaghetti with marinara sauce and salad, and I got a meatball sub with a side of chocolate cake for myself. I called Ranger to ask him to pick up our food on his way home and told him Bob would be coming up early.

Ranger and Morelli arrived at the same time. I opened the front door and Bob jumped out of Morelli's SUV and ran into the house, as though he knew he was arriving at his new home and was thrilled about it. Morelli followed him, carrying a bag of dog food.

"Thanks for letting him come up tonight," Morelli said, handing me the dog food. "I had something come up at work that will take all day tomorrow to get under control."

Bob had been running around, sniffing the floor, but when he'd heard the back door and open and smelled the food, he'd made a beeline for the kitchen. I watched as he skidded to a halt in front of Ranger, and sat down in front of him. Ranger put the food on the counter and looked down at Bob.

"Damn dog, you got fat," he said, patting Bob on the head. "I'm going to put you on a diet."

"That extra meatball sub is for him," I said sheepishly. "As a treat to welcome him to his new home."

Ranger shook his head. "Pathetic."

Morelli shrugged. "I'm busier than I used to be and don't have time to take him out as much, so he's gotten fat."

I put the bag of dog food in the laundry room for the time being while Morelli went outside to get Bob's bed, bowls and tennis balls. Bob sat patiently next to Ranger, waiting for his meatball sub.

"Where do you want his bed?" Morelli asked, handing me a bag with his food and water bowls and toys.

"Leave it down here," Ranger said, tearing Bob's sub into pieces and putting it in the other bowl. "He's not sleeping in our bedroom. I don't want him ending up in bed with us during the night."

I made to argue, but stopped. Ranger had the right to say that he didn't want Bob to sleep in our bedroom, so I would let him have his way. I figured Bob would destroy things downstairs during the first night and would force Ranger to change his mind.

"Wow, he's really got you whipped," Morelli said, throwing the bed down along the wall next to the stairs. "Getting his permission to have Bob, then not arguing when he says he has to sleep downstairs. That's something I never managed to do. But it doesn't really look like he lives here. This is definitely still a woman's house."

I was so stunned by Morelli's attitude that I couldn't find the words to respond. Ranger didn't need words to express his thoughts. The look he gave Morelli said that if he opened his mouth once more, he'd be swallowing his teeth.

Morelli looked like he wanted to say more, but didn't. Instead he pulled out an index card from his coat pocket and handed it to me. "This is the vet information. He'll be due for his physical and shots in June."

I took the card from him and read over it. The vet was in the Burg and was the vet that I'd visited before with pets when I lived at home with my parents. Morelli called Bob over and scratched him behind the ears, telling him to be a good boy. Bob looked sad, licking Morelli's face and whining a little. I followed Morelli to the front door and outside onto the stoop.

"Why are you being such an asshole about Ranger living here?" I asked. "You're moving in with your girlfriend, but you don't hear me bitching at you about it. I think it's great that you're moving on."

Morelli looked over my shoulder and into the house. "Sorry. It's still an instinct for me to be jealous of Ranger, especially when I see you guys having a better relationship than you ever had with me. You really love him, more than you ever loved me. I can tell."

"Really?" I asked. "How?"

"You're willing to include him on things, rather than just going into it by yourself. You trust him not to hurt you."

With that, Morelli said good-bye and left, leaving me in a stunned silence. Morelli's reference to the fact that it didn't look like Ranger lived there broke its way into my consciousness. It was something I had worried about for the past month or so, but kept telling myself it didn't mean anything, especially since Ranger had seemed more open to the idea of marriage. I knew I trusted Ranger, but had never thought about how it showed to other people, and how much I might have changed. Morelli was right. I was letting Ranger have some semblance of control over our life together—something that I had never done with Morelli. Like the idea that Ranger was possibly opening up to the idea of marriage, the thought both exhilarated and terrified me. And in the back of my mind, I still worried that I would ultimately screw it up and lose him forever.


	24. Dirty Diana

_**A/N: This chapter is going to be from Ranger's POV.**_

My internal alarm woke me up about a minute before the alarm on my cell phone began to buzz. Being an early riser was something I had gained during my time in the Army. Before that, I had stayed up late and slept late into the morning. When I'd been in college, I couldn't have a class before ten in the morning, or I'd sleep right through it.

I rolled out of bed and got dressed in shorts and a t-shirt and tied up my running shoes. Ever since Bob had moved in with us, I'd been going running most mornings. I preferred running outside to running on the treadmill, and now I took the dog with me in order to help him lose weight and burn off any excess energy that he might later decide to channel into eating the dining room table.

Bob was waiting for me when I opened our bedroom door, running around in circles, eager to get moving. He hadn't been on board with the morning runs when he first arrived, but within a week he was eager to run, keeping a good pace with me, though it had taken nearly three weeks to convince him that he didn't need to stop and mark every tree and electrical pole as his own. He followed me downstairs, where I grabbed his leash from the hook by the back door and we went on our way.

We returned an hour later, having run our usual route and I headed upstairs to shower. I had a bad feeling that I hadn't been able to shake with a run, though I couldn't place my finger on why. I hadn't forgotten anything, didn't have any particularly difficult meetings, nor did I have any employees that I was going to have to fire. Stephanie was doing well, as was my family. I wanted to ignore the feeling, but my time in the Army had taught me that my intuition was nearly always right.

I dressed quietly after my shower, watching Stephanie continue to sleep. How much I loved her scared me at times, because I knew it made me emotionally dependent on her to some extent. But I didn't mind it, because my life was exponentially better with her in it. I had a reason to live that wasn't related to keeping my business running.

I left for a work a few minutes later after getting the coffee maker ready to start brewing coffee at seven. I shook my head in mock disgust at myself and the level of domesticity I'd reached by being in a committed relationship, but deep down I really didn't mind it that much. It was all for Stephanie, and she was the only who saw it.

The bad feeling I'd had earlier that morning proved accurate shortly before lunch. I was reviewing applications for a new payroll manager when Lou, who managed the front desk, paged me on the intercom.

"There's a woman here to see you. She doesn't have an appointment, and says her visit is personal."

"What's the name?" I asked, trying to figure out who would be dropping by unannounced. Stephanie would just come in on her own, and my family would have called first. I wondered if it could be someone from Stephanie's family.

"Diana Hastings."

I was momentarily speechless, finding my throat had gone dry. I couldn't believe a woman I hadn't seen in thirteen years, and had worked hard to not even think about during that time, was now in my lobby, requesting to see me.

"Send her to Conference Room Four."

I stood up from my desk and made my way towards the elevator, feeling slightly dazed. Diana Hastings had been the first woman I'd ever loved, and had things gone differently, I would have married her. We'd met three weeks into my freshman year at Rutgers, Newark. She had been a junior and lived one floor below me in the dormitory. We had gotten drunk at a party one night and I'd gone back to her room for the night. After we'd had sex, we'd talked and found we had several things in common from our taste in music and food to our thoughts on religion. She, however, had grown up in a very different lifestyle. She was the only child of a wealthy family in Connecticut and had gone to some of the best boarding schools in the world. I had asked how she ended up at Rutgers, Newark when she could have gone to Princeton or any of the Ivy League schools, and she had laughed, saying she had spent enough time around the pretentious snobs who went to those schools and had wanted to attend a school with more "real people". Her father, her only surviving parent at that point, had been irritated, but hadn't threatened to cut her off. She hadn't been scared off when I told her about my stint in juvie or being sent to Miami for high school. We started dating after that night. Her father hadn't approved of me at first, not wanting his only daughter to be dating a juvenile delinquent from the Cuban area of Newark, but over time he had grown to like me. We'd maintained contact after I joined the Army, and after he had opened a branch of his investment firm in Trenton three years ago, he had immediately called me to ask that Rangeman be the security provider. I had agreed and met with him to get the account opened. Neither of us had mentioned Diana, nor had the encounter been awkward. It had felt as though he were just an old friend, and not the father of an ex-girlfriend.

I rode the elevator down to the second floor, where most of the conference rooms were located. I hadn't wanted Diana in my office or being seen by everyone on the control room floor, nor would I take her up to the apartment on seven and give any sign of impropriety or infidelity towards Stephanie. The conference room was monitored by a security camera, so it would be seen by the man watching the internal monitors—which was Hal at the moment— but there was no audio and he would see me maintaining my distance.

I walked into the conference room without any hesitation, telling myself to keep calm and just listen to why she was here. She could be wanting to open an account, though it seemed unlikely since she had said it was personal.

Diana had been looking out the windows when I entered. She turned around when the door opened and smiled at me, her white teeth starkly contrasted by her dark skin. Her black hair was relaxed and straightened, falling to her shoulders. She wore a white blouse under a tailored gray suit. A long necklace fell to just below her breasts. She looked very much the same as she had when I'd last seen her, though maybe a little more mature.

"Hello, Carlos," she said, walking slowly towards me. She looked up and down my body. "You look great."

The look she gave me was one she'd given me countless times before, and in the past, it had been a look that would make me do whatever she had wanted. Now the look annoyed me, because I knew she expected it to continue to have the same effect.

"What do you want, Diana?" I asked, crossing my arms. I didn't like being in the same room with her. It had taken me three years to get over her, and I'd spent the past decade feeling good about the fact that on the rare occasions she had crossed my mind, I hadn't felt any pangs of longing for her.

"Can't an old friend stop by to catch up?" she asked, stopping in front of me and looking up at me. I had forgotten how petite she was, barely five-foot-one though she was wearing high heels today that made her a couple of inches taller.

"You aren't an 'old friend'. You're the woman who broke up with me the day I told you I had joined the Army because you thought you were too good to be dating a soldier," I reminded her, watching her grow uncomfortable at my words and emotional distance.

Diana closed her eyes for a minute. "Yes, I know. It was horrible of me. All I can say was that I was young and stupid."

I agreed with the horrible part and possibly the young part, but definitely not the stupid. She had known exactly what she was doing. She hadn't had any remorse in those days.

"I've been thinking about you quite a bit in the past year or so," she said. "I've been trying to work up the nerve to come see you. I'd heard you owned a security company and lived in Trenton. You've become very successful, Carlos. I'm happy for you."

I was aware that Diana had also been very successful in life. She'd gone to law school after I joined the Army, and had quickly become a successful Beltway attorney. She had also married a man fifteen years her senior, a bank president who had gone on to become a Congressman for the state of New York. I had only learned of these details last year, when he had been arrested for taking bribes and had resigned from the House of Representatives. His personal and professional life had been aired on the news and in the papers, as his beautiful, young and successful wife had left him amid the scandal and immediately filed for divorce, not wanting to be sullied by continued association with him. None of it had surprised me. Diana was ambitious, but her love and loyalty were easily revoked when her reputation was on the line.

"I don't know why you want to see me, but you need to make it quick. I have work to do."

Diana smiled sweetly at me. "I really want to be able to sit and talk to you at length. We haven't seen each other for thirteen years."

"It's not going to happen, Diana."

"Why not? You're not married, are you?"

"I'm in a relationship, but even if I weren't, I wouldn't agree to this," I told her. "You got rid of me as soon as I didn't do what you wanted. You used to defend me to your father, telling him that it didn't matter that you had grown up wealthy and I'd grown up lower-middle class or that you'd graduated from a prestigious boarding school when I graduated from an inner-city high school. But when I told you I'd joined the Army, you said you were supposed to be marrying a CEO or bank president, not a solider. So you married the bank president, and look how well that turned out for you."

Diana looked at me like I'd just slapped her. I could tell she wasn't expecting me to act like this. The Carlos Manoso she had known had been different than the one standing in front of her now. I'd lived too much to be that same person any longer.

Diana put her hand on my crossed arms and moved closer to me. "Carlos, please. I'm so sorry for hurting you the way I did. Trust me, letting you go has been my biggest regret. I've always loved you, even when I had no idea where you were or what you might be doing. You're right—I did marry the bank president, who become the politician, and turned out to be a fraud. I consider it karmic retribution for what I did to you. And for the past year, I've not been able to think of much more than you. I—I would really like the chance to make things work between us again."

I stared at Diana for a minute, waiting for her to laugh and tell me she was joking. But she didn't do anything but continue to stare at me with a pleading expression. Since it was apparent she wasn't going to tell me it was a joke, I took the turn to laugh at the incredulity of it all.

"Diana, you can't be serious. Why would you think that I'd still be pining for you after all of these years, not to mention did you completely ignore the fact that I just informed you that I'm in a relationship?"

"Because I know what we had. We were great together, and I have a feeling that we'd be ever greater now."

"You don't know me anymore. I'm not the same person I was when we dated. I was still a boy then. I've been married, had a child, gotten divorced, been through a war, built a business and met the love of my life since the last time I saw you. You need to leave, and do not come back."

I pulled away from Diana and walked over to the door, which I held open for her. She took a deep breath, regaining her composure, and walked through it. She hit the button for the elevator and turned to look back at me.

"You do know me, Carlos. You know I'm determined and when I want something, I'll keep going for it until I get it. I'm not giving up on getting you back just because you have a girlfriend and tell me you don't want me. I'll change your mind."

The elevator doors opened and she walked inside, hitting button and disappeared behind the doors. I took the stairs back up to the fifth floor, telling myself she was bluffing. She couldn't do anything to me if I didn't want her to. She didn't know where I lived, I'd have her banned from the building and if she even managed to find the nerve to contact my family, they'd tear her apart. My mother and sisters had been livid when she'd broken up with me because I'd joined the military. Celia had personally vowed to 'kick her pampered little ass all the way back to Connecticut' if she ever saw her again. My mother was fiercely protective of Stephanie's position in my life and would no doubt put Diana in her place if she thought she would try to cause problems.

Once back in my office, I immediately called my men at the front desk to make sure that Diana had left the building and to have her identified as persona non grata so that if she showed up in the building again, she would be escorted off the property. I spent the rest of the day working, trying to stay focused on the tasks at hand, but finding myself distracted by thoughts of what might have been.

If I hadn't joined the Army at the end of my sophomore year, I would have finished my degree in business and gone on to get my MBA while Diana went to law school at Harvard and clerked for the Supreme Court. I would have married her and we would have worked our way up in our respective fields, likely living in the D.C. area. I would have never killed anyone, never been tortured, probably never would have fired a gun or have ended up in Trenton. But I also would have never met the group of men who became my brothers, learned how to defend myself and others in ways that most people think only exist in movies, never learned the self-discipline that I'd developed over the years, never had Julie, and would have never met Stephanie. All things that I couldn't imagine having never experienced, and nothing in the world would make me willing to give any of it up.

I went home at five, debating about whether to tell Stephanie about Diana's appearance at the office. I didn't want her to panic, thinking our relationship was being threatened by this woman, but I wasn't sure if failing to mention it would also cause trouble. I thought it unlikely that Diana would make another appearance, but I couldn't discount it. Stephanie wasn't home yet when I got to the house, so I checked the mail and found an elaborate envelope addressed to both myself and Stephanie with Julio and Kevin as the senders. I opened the envelope on the front stoop to find an invitation to a wedding for them, being hosted by both sets of parents, scheduled for mid-June at a resort in Catskill Mountains of New York. I chuckled, knowing damn well that neither Julio nor Kevin would be having a wedding if they had any say in it. Like me, they preferred to keep such things low-key. I'd be in Miami in a couple of weeks and would be stopping to see Julie. I'd have to ask Rachel about how their mother managed to wrangle Kevin into a wedding, especially when she had initially been against the entire union. I was just about to turn to go inside when a silver BMW driving slowly down the road caught my attention. The windows were tinted so that I couldn't see who was inside, but my gut told me it was Diana.

She had managed to follow me home without me noticing her.

I immediately walked back in the house and went upstairs and logged onto my computer. I ran Diana through the search programs to find what make of car drove. The search told me I was right about the silver BMW belonging to her. I found and dialed her cell phone number, blocking my own number as I called.

"Hello, Carlos," she said when she answered. "I figured I'd be hearing from you once I realized you saw me."

"Do not come back here, Diana," I warned her. "I don't want anything to do with you, and I don't want you bothering my girlfriend."

"You mean, Stephanie Plum— the bounty hunter who gets her cars destroyed all the time and was the one to help you get your daughter back when she was kidnapped, right?"

I clenched my jaw. Diana had been doing her homework. It wasn't hard to find articles about the kidnapping, and Stephanie had been in the papers on several instances because of her cars and involvement with criminals.

"Yes, I mean her. Stay away from her, Diana. If you don't, I'll make your life hell."

"Baby, I'm only going to be in hell as long as I don't have you," Diana said sweetly. "And I'm going to get you back." After that she disconnected.

I immediately called Tank. "I need you to plant a tracker on a car for me. I want to know if it shows up at my house, the bond's office, or any other place that is related to me."

"Okay, who is it?" Tank asked.

"Her name is Diana Hastings. I don't want her bothering Stephanie, so I need to keep track of her until she goes away."

Tank was quiet for a minute. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No."

I gave Tank the information about the car and found that Diana was staying at a hotel in Hamilton Township, telling him to handle it personally and to keep the tracker labeled DH at the office, only telling the men monitoring the cars to alert me if the tracker showed up at the house, bond's office or if it was in proximity of Stephanie's car.

When Stephanie hadn't come home by six-thirty, I called her cell phone.

"Hey," she said when she answered. "I'm going to be late getting home tonight. Lula and I have been trying to pin down an FTA all afternoon and he's a high bond, so he's worth staying out late. I'm hoping to be done by seven-thirty, because Grandma needs me to give her a ride to the funeral home for a viewing."

"Do you want my help?" I asked.

"You can help us try to bring him in sooner, otherwise I would need your help to get Grandma to the funeral home."

"I'd rather be shot than drive your Grandma to the funeral home. Where are you?"

Stephanie and Lula were staked out on Stark Street, watching a rooming house where Tony Callida had been staying. He was wanted for failing to appear on charges of aggravated assault and armed robbery. It had been his third offense and his bond had been set at two hundred-thousand dollars. I pulled up behind Stephanie's Jeep in the alleyway, and got out, walking up to the driver's side of the car. She rolled her window down and smiled at me.

"Thanks for helping us. We've been out here forever. The person who is in charge of the house has already threatened us, so it's been difficult getting in."

"You don't have your gun?"

"I do, but his is bigger than mine."

I got a description of Callida and went across the street to the house. I knocked on the front door and waited for an answer. A short older man with brown hair going grey answered the door with a sawed-off shotgun.

"I told those bitches I wasn't letting them in and I'm not letting you in either," he said, pointing the gun at me.

In one movement I both moved his gun out of my face and pulled my Glock on him. "You're harboring a fugitive, which is a crime. And if I have to call the police, I'm sure they'll search through the house and find a whole bunch of other illegal things going on, just making more trouble for you. So how about you let me get my man and I'll leave you in peace."

The man thought about it for a moment before lowering his gun and stepping aside. "He's in the room at the top of the stairs."

I walked past the man and headed up the stairs. I listened outside of the door and could hear movement. I tried the knob and the door opened. It was dark, but I could tell that the small room had a television from the nineties stuck on top of a rickety dresser. There was a mattress on the floor in the middle of the room, where Callida was going to town on a skinny blonde, who looked like she was only semi-conscious.

"What the fuck?" Callida said once he realized I was there. He started to get up and I pulled my gun, pointing it at his head.

"Bond enforcement. Get your clothes on and come with me."

Callida looked like he wanted to fight me, but thought better of it. The blonde also registered my presence, but didn't move. "Tony, baby, what's going on?"

"This asshole thinks I'm going back to jail, Cindy," Callida said, giving me a once over. "But I think I can take him."

"Who the hell is Cindy?"

The blonde, who apparently wasn't as out of it as she had appeared, stood up and glared at Callida. "Why did you just call me Cindy?"

Panic washed over Callida's face and I could tell he wasn't sure who to be more afraid of—me or the girl.

"Um—I—," Callida stammered as the blonde pulled a tight blue dress on. No bra or underwear. I kept my eyes focused on Callida while he tried to figure out how to talk his way out of his predicament.

"Get dressed, now," I told Callida. He eyed me for a moment before lunging at me. I stepped aside and he crashed into the wall behind me, sliding down it to the floor. I kicked his clothes over on top of him and continued to point my gun at him. "Unless you want to go to the hospital this evening, get dressed. I won't repeat myself."

Five minutes later, I had Callida in cuffs and was walking him out of the rooming house. His girlfriend—now his ex-girlfriend— had stormed out, but not before she'd stopped to kick him in the balls. He was limping as I walked him over to Stephanie.

"What did you do to him?" she asked, getting out of the car to help guide him in the back.

"Did you see the pissed-off looking blonde in the blue dress?" I asked, cuffing Callida to the restraining bar in the back. "It was her."

Lula laughed. "Good for her. He looks like a loser. She's better off without him."

I kissed Stephanie and told her I'd see her in a while after she dropped Callida off at the jail and drove her grandmother to the funeral home. I headed back home, where I found a frozen lasagna in the freezer. I put it in the oven and found a text message from Tank, saying he'd done as I'd asked. My mind went back to Diana and whether or not to say anything to Stephanie. I wasn't sure how to approach it with her so that she wouldn't worry or freak out. Having someone out to kill me was one thing, but having a woman trying to steal me away from her was another.

Stephanie came in as I took the lasagna out of the oven. "Oh good, I was worried about what we were going to do for dinner. I didn't think you'd let me do take-out again. We've had it three times this week already, and it's only Tuesday."

We ate dinner and she told me about her day, which had included bringing in two other FTAs, though neither had required the time or effort that Callida had. She had just asked me about my day when her cell phone rang. It was the funeral home, saying her grandmother had caused a problem with the family by opening the lid of the coffin and Stephanie needed to pick her up. She hurried out of the house, knowing word would already be getting back to her mother, and promised to be back as soon as she could. I was in the process of cleaning up the kitchen from dinner when my cell phone rang.

"There's been a break-in at the Charles residence in Hamilton Township," Diaz told me. "Apparently there are several valuables missing."

"Text me the address. I'm on my way."

I sent Stephanie a text message, telling her I had to go to an account and that I'd be home later. It took me fifteen minutes to get to the house, during which time the police were already taking the couple's statement. I was at the house for two hours, talking to the clients about what was taken, why the alarm hadn't gone off and how they may want to change their security to add closed-circuit video of the exterior of the house.

It was after eleven by the time I got home. The house was dark and Bob was asleep on his pillow in the living room. I found Stephanie in bed, who cuddled into me once I stripped down and climbed in next to her. I'd never told her about Diana, unsure of how to address it, but decided that I'd tell her tomorrow after work. I thought she might be pissed off that I'd waited to tell her, but hopeful that once I'd explained my reasoning, coupled with our unexpectedly busy evening, she would be more understanding.

I was sitting in my office the next morning, emailing HR about two men that I wanted to interview for the payroll position when Hal's voice came out over the intercom.

"Ranger? That car that would wanted us to track? It just showed up at the bond's office, and Stephanie's there as well."

I jumped up out of my seat, grabbing the keys to my Turbo. "Thanks."

"Do you need back-up?" Hal asked as I hurried past him.

"No."

It took me ten minutes to get to the bond's office, during which time I was cursing myself for not telling Stephanie about Diana last night, or waking her up before I went to the office this morning. God only knew what Diana was doing or planning to do, but I needed to be there to stop her from making a huge scene, and possibly to do some damage control.

I pulled up behind Diana's BMW, which was parked behind Stephanie's Jeep and walked over to the office. It was all I could do not to run, but I didn't want to appear desperate to Diana or guilty to Stephanie. I opened the door to the bond's office to find Diana standing a few feet in front of me. Connie and Lula both had shocked looks on their faces, and Stephanie's expression told me she was both hurt and angry, and that I'd have a lot of explaining to do.


	25. Wrecking Ball

_**A/N: This one is back to being from Stephanie's POV.**_

I went to the bond's office on Wednesday morning, after having spent two hours of the previous night at my parents' house, trying to keep my mother from having a heart attack over Grandma Mazur's latest shenanigans at the funeral home. The widow had actually threatened to sue Grandma for intentional infliction of emotional distress, but Grandma had talked about having rights as an old person and then said that even if the widow tried to sue her, her granddaughter's boyfriend was rich and would hire the best lawyer around to defend her. I personally thought Ranger was more likely to pay for the widow's attorney than Grandma's, but I didn't tell her that. The widow agreed not to sue anyone as long as the funeral home deducted the cost of the services from her bill. The funeral home then told Grandma she wasn't welcome back unless she was coming in a body bag.

Lula and Connie were drinking coffee when I arrived, and immediately asked about the scene at the funeral home with Grandma. Edna Mazur being banned from the funeral home was a big deal.

"Do you think your granny's gonna actually stay away?" Lula asked. "I wouldn't put it past her to put on a disguise and try to sneak in."

I wouldn't put it past Grandma either, but I knew my mom would be keeping her on a tight leash after this. I was about to say just that when the door to the bond's office opened and a very pretty African-American woman walked in. She looked to be around my age, was several inches shorter than me, but had a body I'd kill for. She reeked of money and upper-class breeding from her Hermes bag to her perfectly tailored navy blue suit and champagne-colored silk blouse all the way to her Louboutin heels. Her hair fell to her shoulders in soft curls. She was clearly out of her element in the drab bond's office.

"Can I help you?" Connie asked, looking around me to the woman.

"I'm looking for Stephanie Plum," the woman said, smiling slightly. "I understand she works here."

There have been times in the past when people have come to the bond's office looking for me, and I've not wanted to them to know who I was. This woman didn't look like a lunatic, and if she had a gun in her Hermes bag, it wasn't very big.

"I'm Stephanie Plum," I said, feeling frumpy in my twenty-dollar jeans, forty-dollar sneakers and the red v-neck t-shirt I'd gotten for two dollars on Stark Street the week before. "How can I help you?"

The woman smiled again, and something in her smile made me feel uneasy. Maybe she _was_ there to kill me. Assassins were certainly well-dressed these days.

"I wanted to meet you. It's always interesting to see the competition," she said, giving me the once over.

"I'm afraid I don't follow you. What competition?"

The woman smiled again, her eyes lighting up. "Are you telling me Carlos didn't mention me?"

My heart started to thump hard in my chest. "You're going to have to explain to me what you're talking about, including by telling me who you are and how you know Carlos."

"My name is Diana Hastings," she began. "Carlos and I used to be in a relationship. He didn't mention to you that I went to see him at his office yesterday?"

I heard Connie and Lula both suck in air while I felt all of the air had been knocked out of me. Ranger had dated this woman, who was clearly wealthy, educated and beautiful, who had reappeared in his life suddenly and he didn't think to bring it up. It was like being kicked in the gut repeatedly.

"I didn't get a chance to talk to him much yesterday," I said, recovering from the initial shock. "We were both very busy all day. But now I need to know why you feel there is a competition."

Diana's smile returned, and I fought the urge to ram her head through the large window behind her. "Because I informed Carlos I want him back, and I intend to get him. He called you the love of his life, so I needed to see what I was up against. So far, I can't see anything spectacular about you that will keep his attention once I really get ahold of him."

I stood there frozen, unable to believe what I was hearing. Every woman I knew wanted to see Ranger naked and had likely fantasized about him in bed, but I'd never had anyone actually try to take him. At least that I was aware of. And why Ranger hadn't mentioned this woman to me last night or this morning made me hurt. She had apparently made it clear to him what her intentions were, and yet he hadn't thought to tell me about them or give me a head's up that she might be dropping by the office. Did it mean that he wanted us to fight for him, or that he was thinking of going back to her?

The office door opened and we all turned our attention to see Ranger standing in the doorway. His eyes fell on Diana briefly before meeting mine. His expression told me he knew he was in deep shit.

"Hello, Carlos," Diana said, turning to face Ranger. "I wasn't expecting to see you here."

Anger radiated off of Ranger. "What are you doing, Diana?"

"I came here to meet your girlfriend, and to try to figure out why you'd want to stay with her instead of being with me. So far, I've not been able to figure out why you like her so much."

"Listen here, bitch," Lula said, standing up to face Diana. Lula was wearing a lime green spandex dress and gold heels. "You don't get to come in here and talk shit to my friend. You need to get your pampered little ass out of here before I sit on you and squash you like a bug."

Diana gave a little laugh. "Honey, I'm more afraid of being in contact with your spandex than I am with you threatening to squash me."

"Hold on a minute," Connie said. "Weren't you married to that Congressman that got arrested for taking bribes?"

"An unfortunate incident that I've put behind me," Diana replied, not taking her eyes off of Ranger. "Now I'm moving on to better things."

"No, you're not," Ranger said quietly. "I've told you that already. I also told you if you bothered Stephanie that I'd make your life hell. Now get out, and if I see you near her again, I'll follow through with my word."

Diana watched him for a minute, the arrogant smile on her face once more. She turned back to look at me as she walked towards the door.

"You might as well give up now, Stephanie. I always get what I want."

She brushed past Ranger and walked out to a silver BMW that was parked behind my Jeep. She climbed in and pulled away, leaving us all speechless in her wake.

I was literally trembling with hurt and anger as I stood rooted to the spot. Ranger turned to look at me again, and held my gaze for a moment.

"Let's go home and talk about this," he said quietly.

I shook my head. "No, we'll talk about it here and now. Connie and Lula already heard Diana's version, they may as well hear yours."

He didn't say anything for a moment, probably hoping I'd change my mind, but began speaking after a moment.

"Diana and I dated during my two years at Rutgers, Newark. She was from wealthy Connecticut family and two years older than me. She hadn't cared that I was a lower-middle class Cuban kid from Newark, but when I joined the Army at the end of my sophomore year, just as she was graduating, suddenly I was no longer good enough for her. She told me she couldn't date a soldier because she was supposed to be marrying men who would making something for themselves. She broke up with me, and I hadn't seen her until yesterday. She showed up at my office and basically told me she wanted me back, saying she was still in love with me. I told her it wasn't happening, but she doesn't want to hear that. She thinks she still has the hold over me that she had when we were at Rutgers."

I had been literally biting my tongue while he'd been talking, my hands clenched into fists and fighting tears.

"Why didn't you tell me this yesterday?" I asked, trying to keep my voice from cracking.

Ranger sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "I'm sorry, Stephanie. I was trying to figure out how to do it yesterday, but then we kept getting dragged in different directions and I didn't want to wake you up and tell you first thing this morning. I was going to tell you tonight after we got home. I didn't know that she was going to show up at the office, but I'd had Tank put a tracker on her car just so I could see what she was up to. I really didn't mean to hurt you, and I wasn't trying to hide anything. I just wanted to be able to tell you in a way that wouldn't freak you out."

Tears began leaking out of my eyes before I could stop them. "Were you in love with her?"

"Yes."

I wiped the tears that started falling down my cheeks. "And how do you feel about her now?"

Ranger walked over to me and stood right in front of me. "I don't feel anything for her. I got over her a long time ago, and I wouldn't go back to her even if I didn't have you."

I blew out a shaky sigh. "Are you sure about that? She's gorgeous, rich and undoubtedly successful. I couldn't say that I'd blame you. Hell, _I'd_ date her."

Ranger pulled me into him and wrapped his arms around me. I rested my head against his chest, breathing in his scent. "It's always been you," he whispered in my ear. "I'm only going to ever want you."

I let his words wash over me, trying to decide if I could believe them. Ranger had never lied to me about anything important, and had never given any hint of even thinking of straying. I was really pissed that he had never mentioned Diana, and more pissed that he had failed to tell me she had showed up and wanted him back. But we could talk about it again later.

"Fine," I said, pulling away. "We'll talk tonight when you get home."

Ranger looked down at me, wiping away the last remnant of tears from my cheeks with his thumbs. He kissed me on the forehead and walked back out of the office. I watched as he pulled away from the curb, finding myself unable to look at Lula or Connie. I felt like I'd been run over by truck —a well-dress bitch truck named Diana.

"I can't believe that bitch," Lula said. "Who does she think she is?"

"She's amazing," I said, finally turning to face my friends. "Why wouldn't Ranger want to be with her?"

"Because he loves _you,"_ Connie stressed. "He'd never go for someone like that, especially when she's basically telling him he will."

"But he did go for her at one time," I said, grabbing my purse from the chair next to me. "And he's never told me about her, nor did he tell me that she showed up at his office yesterday. He's had an _entire day_ to tell me this, yet he didn't. How is that supposed to make me feel confident about our relationship?"

Connie and Lula didn't have any answers, so I told them I was leaving for the day and went out to my Jeep. I sat behind the wheel, unsure of what I was going to do. I had no desire to go after the three FTAs whose files were in my bag, nor did I want to sit at home. I didn't want to go to my parents' house, as they'd know something was wrong. I wanted to get away for a little while and distract myself from Diana's condescending smile, smug attitude and challenging words. I started my car and pulled away from the curb, fighting the urge to vomit.

I drove around aimlessly for over two hours before deciding to stop at the Mexicana Grill, intending to drown my sorrows in margaritas and chicken fajitas. I thought about Ranger and Diana, wondering what it had to have been like to date him in his pre-Army days. I made me feel sick to realize that I could see them being together. They were both very attractive, intelligent people who had the ability to get people to do whatever they wanted. I continued to sit in the booth for hours, long after I'd finished my fajitas, absorbing everything. I had always hated that Ranger hadn't been very open with me, but I'd respected it to an extent, thinking it was related to horrors that he couldn't bring himself to talk about. Now I suspected that much of what he kept to himself was out of the desire to maintain control over himself and to keep anyone else from having any sort of hold on him.

I was halfway through my fourth margarita, and barely able to hold my own head up, when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up and saw Ranger standing over me.

"It's time to go home, Stephanie."

I shrugged out of his grip. "No. I'm mad at you. My margaritas are my friends."

Ranger threw four twenty-dollar bills on the table, pried the margarita out of my hand and pulled me to standing. "You're drunk, and I'm taking you home. The bartender said you've been here for the past six hours."

I tried to walk by myself, but found the floors were uneven and the room had started spinning around me. I started to fall into another booth, but Ranger caught me around waist and practically dragged me out of the restaurant. He put me into the passenger side of the Turbo and pulled out of the parking lot.

I didn't talk the entire way back home, refusing to look in Ranger's direction. I was mad at him. He was an asshole. And my margaritas were no longer feeling so friendly in my stomach.

After we pulled into the drive, Ranger got out of the car and walked around to my side, opening the door and helping me out of the car. I stood up, tried to jerk out of his grip and fell to the ground.

"Ow," I said, sitting up and trying to ignore the way the world was spinning around me. "The ground hit me."

Ranger pulled me up and practically carried me into the house and up the staircase.

"I have to pee," I told Ranger once we got to the top landing. "I'm going to pee alone. Do not follow me."

Ranger guided me into the bathroom and closed the door, but I suspected he was standing outside of it in case he heard me fall. I managed to take care of business without falling and knocking myself out or vomiting all over the bathroom. When I opened the door, I found him leaning against the opposite wall.

"Did you see any more of _Diana_ today?" I asked, saying her name with the tone I reserved for Joyce Barnhardt and other like-minded, man-stealing women.

"No, I didn't. Did you?" Ranger asked, walking behind me as I staggered my way to the bedroom.

"Nope. I would have kicked her ass if I had," I told Ranger, falling face down into bed fully-dressed.

Ranger rolled me over a second later and started taking off my sneakers, then my jeans. He sat me up and took off my t-shirt before throwing one of the t-shirts I saved for sleeping over my head.

"I'm sorry about this, Stephanie," he said, guiding me into my spot on the bed. "I should have told you immediately when she showed up, rather than spent time trying to figure out how to break it to you in an easier manner."

"No shit, Sherlock," I replied, my voice muffled by my pillow. "Imagine what you'd have done if Morelli would have come in and said he wanted me back and would do whatever he had to do to get me, and I didn't tell you?"

"Morelli would never be found again," Ranger replied immediately. "And I would be hurt if you didn't tell me right away. I promise nothing like this will ever happen again."

"It'd better not," I said, feeling sleep come over me. I think Ranger tried to say more, but I didn't hear it.

I heard Ranger saying my name and rubbing my head, trying to get me to wake up. "Can't we talk in the morning?"

"It is morning, babe."

I opened one eye and saw sunlight shining through the window. "What time?"

"It's seven o'clock. You've been asleep for over ten hours," Ranger said, setting a cup of coffee on my nightstand.

I sat up, wincing at the bright light and reached for the coffee. I was going to have the hangover from hell for a good part of the day. I guess margaritas aren't very good friends.

"How are you feeling today?" he asked, watching me closely.

"You mean from my hangover, or you not telling me about your old girlfriend being in town?" I asked, trying to keep the edge out of my voice.

"Both, though I'm more interested in the latter."

I took a minute to let the caffeine start waking up my brain before I answered. "I'm not happy that you didn't tell me right away, but I believe you when you said you weren't hiding it, just trying to figure out how to tell me. I trust you when you say it won't happen again. And my hangover is a real bitch. I'm no longer friends with margaritas."

Ranger kissed my forehead. "Thanks babe. I've got to get to the office, and I'll be late tonight. My lawyer has some papers I need to review and sign, so I'm meeting him for dinner."

"I'll probably go to my parents' house for dinner then," I said, climbing out of bed. "I haven't been to see them in almost a week."

I saw Ranger out and scrounged around the kitchen, looking for something easy to have for breakfast. After a couple of minutes, I decided a breakfast sandwich would be easier, so I put on a pair of sweat pants and sneakers, grabbed my purse and Bob and we went to Cluck-in-a-Bucket to get breakfast. Bob had been on a strict diet of no human food since he'd moved in with us, but since he'd been doing such a great job of running with Ranger every morning and looked like he'd lost a few pounds, I thought a bacon, egg and cheese sandwich was due as a reward for hard work. I also got a large Coke and an order of breakfast fries to help cure my hangover.

I walked into the bond's office an hour later, feeling more human after breakfast and a shower.

"You look like you had a bad night," Connie said. "Did you and Ranger stay up late fighting?"

"Nope, I went out and got trashed at Mexicana Grill and he had to pick me up and take me home, where I slept for ten hours. We talked a little this morning. I'm not as mad as I was yesterday. I don't think he was intentionally hiding it, just nervous about telling me."

Connie nodded. "I agree. He seemed genuine when he was telling you everything yesterday. I doubt he's had this kind of problem in his life before."

I agreed. I wasn't sure how many romantic relationships Ranger had ever had in his life, but doubted there had been very many, and he would have made sure to avoid anything like this. Diana had managed to blindside him in a way that very few people had.

When Lula arrived twenty minutes later, I had to repeat the events of the previous night to her. She hadn't been impressed, saying she'd have kicked his Cuban ass back to the ghetto if he'd done that to her. Connie and I did eye rolls. Lula talked a big game, but would wet her pants if Ranger looked at her cockeyed.

I had three skips in my bag that had failed to show on Tuesday, plus four more that had failed to show on Wednesday, so Lula and I set out to bring them in. Three domestic violence cases, one petty theft, two drug-related charges, and one drunk and disorderly. By six o'clock, we'd managed to find all but the drunk and disorderly and one of the domestic violence cases. I dropped Lula off at her car and headed to my parents' house, where my mother had promised pot roast, mashed potatoes and chocolate pudding for dessert.

I left my parents' house at six-thirty sans pot roast, mashed potatoes and chocolate pudding. Just as I had been pulling up to the house, I'd heard the screech of fire trucks pulling up behind me. My mother's oven, which she and my dad had bought right after I was born, had finally kicked the bucket —and had nearly taken the entire kitchen with it. She had managed to get most of the fire put out with the extinguisher she kept in the pantry, but the firefighters had sprayed more foam on the oven and nearby counters as a precaution. Since dinner was a bust, my dad headed to the lodge to eat, Grandma said her friend Esther was picking her up and they were going to _Pino's_ , and my mom got sloshed on Jim Beam and had to go to bed.

I headed towards downtown, where three new restaurants had opened up right next to each other. They were all very different from each other, ranging from cheap Thai to a moderately priced Italian restaurant and a high-end French bistro, but this was Trenton, and such silliness worked. I parked my car in a public lot and walked down the sidewalk, checking out each new restaurant as I passed. The Italian restaurant, called _Silvio's_ , was stereotypical Italian with red-and-white tiles and photos of all of the famous crooners of the forties and fifties. It was stuffed full of families with the kids trying to behave themselves and parents who were desperate for something other than McDonald's.

Next to Silvio's was _Meilleur_ , the French bistro that had been getting raved reviews. There were large glass windows that showed passersby crisp white tablecloths on oak tables, surrounded by heavy oak chairs with dark green covers. The patrons were dressed in suits and cocktail dresses, drinking expensive wines and eating various French dishes. I was almost to the end of the row of windows when someone sitting in a table a row away from the windows caught my attention.

It was Ranger, dressed in a black suit, black dress shirt and black tie. He had a glass of red wine sitting in front of him, which looked to have barely been touched. He looked relaxed as he spoke to the person sitting across from him—freaking Diana Hastings, who was wearing a sleeveless white cocktail dress. She had a glass of white wine in her hand and took a sip as she said something, smiling coyly at Ranger, who laughed and spoke to her with a smile on his face.

It felt like ice had just been poured through my veins, and I was pretty sure my heart stopped beating for a minute. The world seemed to move in very slow motion as I watched Diana put her wine glass down and put her hand on Ranger's arm, which had been resting along the side of the table. She spoke to him with a sincere expression on her face, resting her chin on her other hand as she looked up at him. The only sound I could hear was the pounding of my own heart in my ears. I was aware of my knees shaking as they struggled to keep me upright, and the hot tears that burned my eyes.

I wasn't sure how long I'd been standing there, but it had apparently been long enough for Ranger notice someone watching from his peripheral vision. The look of worry that passed over his face served as the catalyst I needed to start moving again. I turned around and started walking back towards the parking lot, barely able to see through the tears. I had made it about twenty feet when I heard Ranger calling my name. I took off at a run, choking back sobs as I pulled my keys out of my pocket and used the remote to unlock the Jeep. I had just reached the door when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Stephanie —," Ranger began, but was cut off as I hurled around and slapped him hard across the face.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!" I yelled between sobs as tears fell down my cheeks. "I trusted you!"

I opened the driver's side door and made to get it, but Ranger tried to grab my arm. "Stephanie, wait, this isn't what it looks like."

I shoved Ranger back by hitting him in the chest with door, causing him to fall back against the minivan parked next to me. "Get the hell away from me."

I got in the car, locked the doors and backed out of my parking space, sobbing as I drove out into traffic. I heard several horns honk, likely meaning I'd nearly caused an accident, but in that moment I didn't care. My heart had just been broken by the man I thought I could trust the most, the man who had just told me the day before that I was the only woman he wanted, and that his ex-girlfriend meant nothing to him. But there he was with her, drinking wine and smiling at her, when he told me he was going to be meeting his attorney to sign some papers.

I pulled into my garage twenty minutes later, feeling as exhausted as though I'd pushed my car home. Ranger had lied to me—about his feelings for Diana, about meeting his lawyer to sign some papers, and God only knew what else. Of all of the relationships I'd ever had in my life, I had expected that at least half of them would cheat on me, or strongly consider it if the woman were hot enough. Ranger had not been on that list. He'd been on his own list, a list that read 'would never dream of cheating'. This man, who had saved my life more times than I could count, had spent more money than I could imagine on protecting me, and had made love to me countless times, was running around behind my back with the woman that had broken his heart in college.

Bob barked and ran up to me as I walked in the door, but the sound of me crying sent him running from the room. Bob couldn't handle seeing women cry. Typical man.

I sat down on the couch and put my throbbing head in my hands, feeling as though my heart might literally beat out of my chest. I'd never felt this way before, never been so hurt by anything or anyone in my life. This hurt worse than catching Dickie with Joyce, probably because I loved Ranger so much more than I had ever loved Dickie, and the reality was that seeing Ranger laugh and smile with someone other than me was almost more intimate than finding Joyce impaled on DIckie. For Dickie, sex had been like breathing. He did it so often, he didn't even think about it. For Ranger, a smile and a laugh were rare moments that were generally saved for someone special. Like me.

I heard the back door open and close about five minutes later. Bob ran over and barked at Ranger, as though telling him to do something about the crying woman on the couch.

"Stephanie, please listen to me," Ranger said, sitting down next to me on the couch. "It's not what it looked like."

"Really?" I said scathingly. "Please tell me what it looked like, other than you having dinner at a fancy restaurant with your ex-girlfriend when you told me you were having dinner with your lawyer."

"I was sitting there waiting on my lawyer when Diana showed up at my table with her glass of wine and sat down," he said. "I told her I didn't want to talk to her, but she wouldn't leave. I figured my attorney would be there any minute and I didn't want to make a scene, so I didn't push the issue."

"You were smiling and laughing with her!" I cried, standing up and walking around to the other side of the coffee table. "I don't consider that to be any sort of suffering, especially not from you. You don't care about social niceties. You'd have sat there in stone-cold silence and ignored her if you really hadn't want to talk to her."

"I tried that, but then she started talking about you, and I felt I needed to respond," Ranger said. "I wanted her to see the real you, and not the version she wanted to see because she was jealous. I wanted her to understand just how important you are to me, and that she had no chance of jeopardizing our relationship."

I stood there looking at Ranger, assessing his body language and expression, and found them aggravatingly unreadable as always. I would've been in less pain had Ranger unloaded in Glock into my chest. My fears of our relationship only being a pit stop on his life's journey felt more real than ever.

"I don't believe you," I said, surprising myself with the words. "You're no better than Dickie Orr. I trusted you not to hurt me. I believed you yesterday when you told me I was the only one you wanted. God, I'm such an idiot. I've been worried about this—about you looking for a reason to get out. I tried to tell myself that the fact that you didn't have anything but your clothes here wasn't a sign that you wouldn't want to stay here permanently, but then Morelli noticed it, and now this happens and it just confirms that my fears were right all along."

My chest felt tight, like someone had a vise grip on my heart as I spoke. I felt like vomiting. I wanted to scream, throw things and kick over the coffee table. I wanted to hit Ranger in an attempt to make him feel what I was feeling.

"Stephanie—," Ranger said, standing up. His expression changed into one of concern, his eyes raking over me as he started to walk around the table towards me, but I moved away from him.

"Get out," I whispered, feeling tears pouring down my cheeks as the realization of what I had to do dawned on me.

Ranger stopped dead in his tracks. "What?"

"Get out of my house," I said, my voice a little stronger as I spoke. "I can't trust you anymore, and I'm clearly no more than just a stop along the way for you. I've ignored the signs in the past, when Dickie used to come home late or smell like another woman's perfume, but I won't ignore them this time. I won't stay with a man who doesn't really love me."

Ranger looked like he couldn't believe what I was saying. "Stephanie, I know I haven't handled this situation with Diana as well as I could have, but how dare you question my love for you. When you saw me talking to Diana, it was about you. I was telling her how much I loved you, how intelligent, resilient and determined you were, and how you had saved me from myself."

I could hear an edge in his voice now, he was angry and hurt, hopefully beginning to feel something of what I felt. His expression was raw, and I could see the hurt in his eyes. It was one of the very few times I'd seen Ranger so vulnerable.

"But if you really want me to leave, then I will. I've told you before that it's the only reason I'd leave you."

I wiped tears from my cheeks and crossed my arms. "I wish I could believe that, but seeing as it will take you less than ten minutes to pack up everything you own in this house, I can't. Your existence here has been just as sterile as it was in the apartment at Rangeman. And now you lie to me on top of it all."

We stood there for another three minutes, not talking or looking at one another. I had hurt so much in the past half an hour that I felt numb, almost disconnected from myself in the moment. Ranger finally turned around and walking upstairs. I heard him open the door to the closet and then dresser drawers, doing as I had asked. I couldn't bear to watch him leave, so I put Bob his leash and took him for a walk down to a nearby park, where I sat on a bench and cried while Bob rested his head on my knee.


	26. All of Me

_**A/N: Back to Ranger's POV**_

I heard the front door open and shut a couple of minutes after I'd gone upstairs to pack. Stephanie apparently hadn't wanted to stick around to see me leave. I sat down on the bed next to my suitcase and leaned over, resting my elbows on my knees and putting my head in my hands.

I couldn't believe this was happening. I'd always thought we'd have a moment when Stephanie's insecurity would rear its ugly head and try to drive a wedge between us, but I'd always been confident that I'd be able to stop us from going down the path that she had taken with Morelli so many times. I'd done the math in my head as I'd walked up the stairs and found that Stephanie and I had been together for ten months, which had seemed to be the cut off for her and Morelli before they'd break up. I guess I should have seen that coming as well.

I was overwhelmed by the amount of emotion coursing through me. I was angry at Stephanie for being so irrational and emotional, jumping to conclusions and wanting to end our relationship over a misunderstanding. I was angry at Diana for interfering in my life after breaking my heart in college, and now possibly ruining the best thing that had ever happened to me. I was hurt that Stephanie doubted my love for her and her ability to trust me. And I hated myself for the mistakes I'd made that had only fueled the fire that led us to this point. I was having difficulty processing the thoughts and feelings I was having in the moment, still being unaccustomed to it all. I'd spent my years during and since leaving the Army detaching myself from unproductive emotions, but had started to crack when it came to Stephanie. She made me feel things I hadn't experienced in more years than I could remember. And as a result of those feelings I was making mistakes, like not immediately telling her about Diana because I was worried that she would get upset. And now here I was, packing up and leaving because the shit hit the fan. History was repeating itself, only this time, in the role of Joe Morelli, was Carlos Manoso.

And then it dawned on me: I was being just as irrational and emotional as Stephanie by preparing to leave without a fight. I wasn't using the logic I'd relied on over the years, and it was biting me in the ass.

Stephanie was an emotional being, and I knew that once she'd had some distance from the situation and time to think, she'd realize she had been unreasonable in at least not hearing me out and opening her mind to the fact that I was telling the truth. The reason her relationship with Morelli had always failed had been because Morelli was also an emotional being, getting angry and resentful and letting her leave whenever she pushed him. There had been no logic involved in their fights. I knew she needed time away from me to be able to clear her head, and I knew I needed some time alone to figure out exactly how I needed to change in order to make her feel that she could trust me.

I was pacing the living room floor half an hour later, waiting for Stephanie to come back to the house. I'd changed into jeans and a t-shirt and had put all of my clothes back in the closet and dresser, save for the few in the carry-on suitcase I had sitting by the back door. A text message from Tank came through my phone with my flight details, which meant I needed to leave the house within the next thirty minutes in order to be able to get to the airport in time. I just hoped Stephanie would be back by then.

The front door opened five minutes later, and Bob came barreling through the house with his leash still attached to his collar. I heard the door close and Stephanie appeared in the living room a second later. She looked surprised to see me standing there. She was pale and her eyes were red from crying. In the few seconds since the door had opened, I had pushed my emotions aside and tapped into the logic that had never failed me.

"This conversation isn't finished," I said before Stephanie could speak. "I'm going to talk, and you're going to listen."

She looked stunned as she watched me from the entryway, though I wasn't sure it if was because of my continued presence in the house or my attitude.

"I told you in the beginning that you and I wouldn't be having the same type of relationship that you and Morelli had. That includes walking away without a fight when shit gets tough, and especially when the situation is not at all what you think it is. I hate that you doubt me, but I can recognize that I've messed up. We have been through too much together to let this fall apart. I love you too much to give up that easily. So I'm not moving out, but I am leaving. We both need space right now, so I'm heading to Miami in a couple of hours, and I'll be home on Tuesday afternoon. Then we will talk about this again, and figure things out. In the meantime, if you have questions you need answered—about anything at all—call me and I will tell you the truth. I hate that I've hurt you, because all I want in this life is to love and protect you. Loving you is the best thing I've ever done, Stephanie, and I'm a better man because of it."

Stephanie had continued to watch me as I spoke, not trying to interrupt or reacting in any way. I walked out of the living room without another word, grabbed my bag and headed out to my car. Tank had offered to drive me to the airport, but I told him I'd drive and leave my car in long-term parking so that I could drive myself back to Trenton on Tuesday. I needed time alone to collect my thoughts and settle my emotions.

During the flight, I switched my thinking from Stephanie to Diana. Diana was determined, and I was afraid her desire to get me back had only been fueled by seeing Stephanie upset at the restaurant. I had called Tank on my way to Newark to tell him to keep an eye on Diana's car and if she showed up anywhere near Stephanie that he was to intervene. I didn't want Diana near Stephanie again because she would know exactly what buttons to push. Diana had always been a very good reader of people, and Stephanie was an open book. I'd promised Diana I'd make her life hell if she bothered Stephanie, and I intended to do just that. I needed to hurt Diana in a way that would take her attention away from me and turn it back towards her own life. Her reputation was the most important thing to her: she'd left her husband because his misdeeds would have ruined her image, so I had to make sure her reputation took a hit because of her trip to Trenton. I would need to spend some time while in Miami to dig up everything I could on Diana to see what I could use. Hopefully I'd find something, because Plan B was to show Diana my true colors, which I hesitated to do. She could very easily turn the tables on me and ruin my life in other ways.

I was exhausted as I fell into my bed sometime after midnight, but struggled to actually fall asleep. I had gotten so used to sleeping in bed next to Stephanie that I didn't sleep well whenever I came down to Miami. I was used to curving my body around hers, feeling the warmth of her soft skin and breathing in the scent of her shampoo. On the few occasions when she would snore, I would wake up and watch her, trying not to laugh as I reveled in how much I adored her. Thinking about her in that way, and then remembering her being so angry with me only hours before made me feel nauseous, but also strengthened my resolve to get it worked out and to win her back.

My routine in Miami was always the same whenever I visited. I would check in with the man I left in charge, Miguel Califuego, and would review any break-ins, employee issues, new accounts, and information received about changes in crime rates or new technology used to beat our systems. I reviewed our new clients on Friday morning and afternoon, telling myself I needed to focus on work for a while so I could clear my head and go back to thinking about my relationship issues with a new perspective later in the evening. It was a method that worked well, except for every time my cell phone would ring. I would immediately hope to see Stephanie's number appear on the screen, and was always disappointed when it wasn't her. Tank called twice, once to report that Ramon had broken his leg on his day off and had to undergo surgery, which would remove him from field work for a significant amount of time. His second call had been to say that Diana had shown up at Rangeman, but per my orders was told to leave. She'd threatened to file charges if anyone touched her, so Tank had offered her the choice of walking out on her own, or he would be the one calling the police. She'd chosen to walk out on her own, but had made several drives past Stephanie's, clearly trying to determine if I was there. By seven o'clock, I was done reviewing new accounts and decided to call it a day, having been far less productive than usual. As I took the elevator three floors up to my apartment, my cell phone rang and the display told me it was my Grandma Bella.

"Hola, Carlos," Grandma said. "How are you and Stephanie?"

I couldn't help but smile a little as I listened to her. My family had accepted Stephanie so easily into my life that anytime any of them called me, they always asked how the both of us were doing. The single Carlos had ceased to exist once they had met her. I felt a twinge, because the truth was that Stephanie and I were in a bad place at the moment, but I chose to ignore that and simply think about the fact that we were both in good health.

"We're fine, Abuela. How are you?"

"As well as an old lady can be when her favorite grandchild hasn't come to visit her in a while," she said jokingly.

"I'm actually in Miami," I told her. "I'm here until Tuesday. You pick the day and time, and I'll be there."

She asked if I would take her to Mass on Sunday morning, and then come back to the house for lunch. I offered to take her out to lunch, but she declined by saying she had missed cooking meals for me in the fifteen years since I'd move back to Jersey. She asked what I wanted her to make, and I told her to fix whatever she wanted, and that I'd see her at nine on Sunday.

Saturday was basically a repeat of Friday, only I spent the day going over the break-ins our accounts had experienced in the past month, and the latest wave of crime that had been sweeping through Miami. I gone to each account personally to look at their systems and explore additional options for their systems if they felt the need for increased security. I had spent my evenings trying to figure out what I needed to do for Stephanie in order to make her see that I didn't want Diana, and that she could trust me without question. The comparison she had made between me and her ex-husband had stung. How she could believe I was capable of cheating on her was beyond me. I'd told her on New Year's Eve that I hadn't been with any other woman since I had realized I was in love with her. Why did she think that I would be more likely to cheat once we were actually in a relationship when I wasn't willing to do so when she was with Morelli? Especially when I had committed more crimes than I could count—including murder— and had almost died, all because I loved her more than anything and would try to keep her safe at any cost.

I arrived at my grandmother's house at a quarter to nine on Sunday morning. She lived in the same Spanish-style home that she and my grandfather had purchased shortly after they'd left Cuba sixty years ago, where I had also lived for four years while going to the nearby high school. I knocked on the door, trying the knob as I did. She'd left it unlocked for me, so I called out to her as I walked in.

"Hola," her voice came from the back of the house. "I'll be ready in a minute."

"No hurry," I told her. "I'm early."

I walked around the living room, noticing that it never really changed. The furniture was the same as when I'd lived there, the wood floors shined like they always had, and the inexplicable scent that was my Grandma lingered in the air. It was comforting, and made me feel guilty that I didn't stop to see her every time I was in town. She had turned eighty last year, and even though she was in good health, I knew I didn't have many years left with her. I promised myself in that moment that I'd stop to see her every time I was in town, even if it was just for an hour.

"I'm ready," Grandma said five minutes later. She was wearing a blue dress, with matching shoes and purse. I kissed her on the cheek as she hugged me. "I'm glad you could come over today. I can't remember the last time I saw you."

"It was when you were in Newark," I said, not mentioning that I had been in Miami at least five other times since then.

"I know you're a very busy man," she said, patting my arms. "I'm just so happy that you pulled your life together that I don't mind it. It's better than visiting you in prison. Or putting flowers on your grave."

Two very likely situations had my parents not made the decision to send me to Miami, I thought as we walked out of the house and I helped Grandma into the car.

I typically only made it to Mass at Christmas and Easter, when I was with my family in Newark. During a few particularly difficult times in my life, I'd stopped in a church and prayed, but it had been during hours when the church was quiet. And sometimes the churches had technically been closed. I'd struggled with belief in a higher power at times, especially after some of the situations I'd experienced in my time in the Army, but even when I wasn't sure whether I believed, a church was a place of solace and safety. As we walked out of the church, I was glad I had agreed to go.

It was almost eleven by the time we got back to the house. I offered to help my grandma prepare lunch, but she dismissed my help, telling me to sit and talk to her while she cooked.

"How are things between you and Stephanie?" she asked as she put chicken in to a skillet. I could tell she was making arroz con pollo, which was one of my favorite dishes.

I hesitated before speaking, which was all Grandma needed to see that things weren't going well.

"What's happened? You didn't split up, did you?" she asked quickly.

I leaned forward and rested my elbows on the kitchen table, putting my head in my hands for a moment. "I don't know what is happening right now."

Grandma continued to watch me expectantly from where she stood in front of the stove. I suddenly felt sixteen again, as these were the positions we'd been in anytime we'd talked about something that was bothering me back in high school.

"Do you remember Diana, the woman I dated in college?" I asked as I leaned back in my chair.

"The girl that broke your heart when you told you had joined the Army?"

I nodded. "Yes, that's her. She showed up at my office earlier this week. She's newly single after a very public divorce from an ex-Congressman, and she said she wants me back."

Grandma let out such a shriek that I thought for a moment that something was wrong with her. After a second, I realized it was a shriek of angry disbelief.

"You aren't going back to that wretched woman, are you?" she asked, putting her hand over her heart.

"Of course not," I said. "I love Stephanie, but Diana has caused some problems."

I filled her in on everything that had happened after Diana showed up in my office on Tuesday.

"I know I messed up by not telling her about Diana right away," I said as I wrapped up the story. "But I wasn't trying to hide it from her. I just wanted to make it as easy on her as possible. She can be insecure at times."

"You mentioned Stephanie compared you to her ex-husband," Grandma said as she covered the pan on the stove and walked over to the table to sit down. "I didn't know she had been married before. Did her ex-husband have an affair?"

I let out an ironic laugh. "In the eight months they were married, he cheated on her with half the women in Trenton. She only found out for sure when she came home to find him on the dining room table with her high school enemy."

Grandma made the sign of the cross. "Poor Stephanie. I can see why she would be hurt if she thought you were seeing Diana. And I can understand why she leapt to that conclusion. Your marriage to Rachel wasn't conventional, so you may not be able to truly understand this, but to have your marriage vows violated by the person you trust with your heart and soul is one of the most painful experiences you can have. It's difficult to be able to trust after that."

Something in Grandma's words gave me a strange feeling. "Are you speaking from experience?"

She hesitated for a beat before letting out a sigh. "Yes, I am. I've never told anyone this before, but your abuelo had an affair once. It had been when I was pregnant with your Aunt Maria. We had three girls under the age of five, and I was very sick for the first six months of my pregnancy. I would be so sick and exhausted by the time your abuelo came home from work that I would leave him with the girls, and I would go to bed and sleep until morning. He would be exhausted from working all day, then from having to take care of the girls all evening by himself, and he wasn't happy. I had suspected that he was doing something, as he'd start coming home later than usual, but I told myself maybe he was drinking at a bar. I didn't want to think about an affair. Then one night, when I was finally feeling better, I sent the girls to stay with a friend for the night and had prepared your abuelo's favorite dinner. He had said he would be home by six, but he didn't get in until nine. I'd sat there waiting for him, until I couldn't wait any longer and ate alone. When he finally came home, I told him what I had done, and asked what he had been doing. It was the only time I ever saw him cry. He confessed the truth, saying that he'd been lonely and had been having an affair with the neighbor, who had been a friend of mine, for three months. He told me he was sorry, begged my forgiveness and told me it wouldn't happen again. He said he loved me more than anything and would spend his life making it up to me if I would let him. I had sent him over to her house to end their relationship right then, which he did. I told him I could forgive him, but that I wasn't sure how long it would take for me to be able to trust him again. As much as he did to show me that he wasn't going to stray again, it was at least ten years before I stopped asking myself if he was having another affair anytime he was late coming home from work, or whenever he seemed distant."

I was speechless for a good minute after she finished speaking. My grandfather had been a good-natured man that had clearly adored my grandmother. The idea of him being unfaithful to her was unfathomable.

"I can understand not being able to trust the person who cheats," I said, wanting to move on from the subject of my grandpa's infidelity. "But why wouldn't she trust me? Once I realized I was in love with her, I never saw another woman, even though she was in a relationship with someone else. I've done everything I've ever had to do to protect her. How can she doubt me like this, just because of a misunderstanding?"

"What does Stephanie want you to be?" Grandma asked. "Is there anything she wants you to do differently?"

"She wants me to be as open as she is," I replied. "But I told her in the beginning of our relationship that there were things I couldn't talk to her about, things that I couldn't bring myself to talk about with anyone because they were too painful, and things that I'd tell her if I thought she could handle them."

Grandma sighed and patted my hand.

"That's part of the problem, Carlos. You need to stop deciding what she can and cannot handle, and just tell her the truth. She will be the one to figure out how she handles what you tell her. By keeping things to yourself because you're not sure she can handle the truth, you're going to make her think that you're hiding something that is going to hurt her the way she was hurt by her ex-husband. She needs to be able to trust you completely, not just to protect her, but to not be the one to hurt her. And by not being willing to open yourself up to her and be vulnerable, you're going to make her feel that you don't trust her either, which might make her afraid that you'll leave."

I stared at my grandmother for minute, taking in everything she had just said. While in Miami, I had started to realize that by not opening up to her that I wasn't instilling her trust, but I had never considered that she may think I didn't trust her enough to open up, and that she may have been worried I would leave because of it. And it had taken my eighty-year-old grandmother to point it out.

"But I have opened up to her about some very bad things," I said, not sure if my mom had told Grandma anything about my trip to Somalia. "How could she be worried that I wouldn't trust her?"

"You opened up to her about what happened to you in Africa," Grandma said, confirming for me that she had been talking to my mother. "But that's just one thing. You need to open up to her about everything, both from the past and the present. And about what you want in the future. Stephanie probably has many more worries than you know about, because she's afraid that if you knew, you'd want to leave her."

I heaved a sigh and put my head back in my hands. I understood what Grandma was saying, but it made my head hurt. Women were incredibly confusing.

"Does that help you at all?"

I nodded. "Yes, it does, thank you. Can we keep this between us? I don't really want anyone else to know, especially Mom, Celia and Lucy. If they heard that I'd hurt Stephanie in some way, they would kill me first and ask questions later."

Grandma chuckled. "Of course, _mijo_. I wasn't joking when I said you were my favorite grandchild."

I spent the rest of the afternoon helping out at my grandmother's house. I had asked her if she needed anything fixed or help doing any tasks that she couldn't do or preferred not to do when alone. I ended up fixing a leaky faucet, putting up new curtains in her living room, replacing batteries in her smoke detectors, changing three light bulbs, and moving furniture. After talking to her about Stephanie and getting her perspective on the situation, I felt more at peace. Everything she said had made sense, and they were things that I had control over. I knew what I would say to Stephanie when I saw her on Tuesday evening. I just hoped she would listen and decide I was worth giving a second chance.

The sound of my cell phone ringing woke me up in the middle of the night. I rolled over, grabbed the phone from the table and answered without checking the caller ID.

"What did you and Diana talk about at the restaurant?"

Stephanie's voice woke me up like a shot of adrenaline, making me sit up in bed. It took me a second to recover from the shock of hearing her voice. She didn't sound angry or upset, but determined and curious. I laid my head back down on my pillow before answering.

"I wasn't paying her much attention at first, but when she started making comments about you, I couldn't ignore her any more. I told her that it didn't matter that she had a law degree, weekly dinners with some of the biggest politicians in the country and is targeted to be an Assistant U.S. Attorney, I wasn't interested in being with her, nor would I ever be again. That I had found exactly what I wanted in you, and I wouldn't be giving you up. She had gone on to ask if my relationship with you was as serious as my relationship with her had been. I laughed at her, saying that the relationship we'd had in college was nothing compared to my relationship with you. Then she asked if I planned on marrying you. I told her I did, that I'd even bought you an engagement ring back in December, and I've just been waiting for you to be ready for me to ask you. That's where the conversation ended when I saw you standing outside."

Stephanie had sucked in some air when I'd mentioned her engagement ring, but hadn't attempted to interrupt when I'd been speaking. I'd decided earlier in the day to tell her everything, even about her ring, if she asked about the conversation I'd had with Diana in the restaurant. I wanted to take Grandma's advice seriously, and show Stephanie that I would do my best to be what she needed me to be.

"Well—um, that was all I was wanting to know," Stephanie said after a minute. "Sorry I woke you up."

"You can call me anytime of the day or night, babe."

Stephanie quietly told me good-night and hung up. I put my phone back on the table and reviewed our conversation. It had seemed positive, or at the very least it hadn't seemed negative. I had given her a lot to think about, and hopefully helped her understand that what happened with Diana was exactly what I had told her it had been.

Monday dragged by as I conducted interviews with two new potential employees. I liked both men, and had told Miguel to start doing some field assessments to see if they would be what we needed. By two o'clock, I had finished up everything that I needed to do for the Miami office, and had even found some information on Diana that had interested me. If my suspicions were correct, Diana had been sleeping with a federal judge who had presided over several cases she had worked on. In every one of her cases that had gone before that judge, the ruling had been found in her client's favor. I would have to do some more digging to be sure, but I thought I'd finally found my revenge. I was feeling restless, and since Stephanie's call in the night, I'd wanted nothing more than to be back home with her, even if she didn't want to talk to me. Just knowing she was nearby would be comforting enough. Deciding I couldn't wait any longer, I called the airline and was able to move my flight up on one that would be leaving in three hours, rather than waiting for the one that wouldn't be leaving for another twenty-four hours. I packed up and told Miguel I'd be going home early and that I needed a ride to the airport.

My flight landed in Newark shortly before eleven that night, having been delayed in Miami because of a storm, and it was after twelve-thirty before I arrived back home. Stephanie's car was in the garage, but the house looked dark. We typically went to bed around ten-thirty or eleven, especially if it was likely we'd be having sex that night. I walked in the back door and punched in the passcode to the alarm. Bob ran up to greet me before I even had the door completely shut. I patted him on the head and told him to go lay down and he obeyed. I carried my suitcase through the house and upstairs, which was also dark. The door to the bedroom was open, revealing Stephanie asleep in our bed, but on my side. I set my suitcase down in front of the closet, and went to sit in the chair in the corner of the room. Stephanie had no clue how many nights I'd come into her apartment and watched her sleep, especially if I had been having a hard time. It had given me an inexplicable form of comfort to see her sleeping peacefully, not haunted by nightmares of the bad things she'd been through since taking on a job in bond enforcement. It showed me that Stephanie was an overall strong person, which was good. I just needed to help her know she could trust me not to hurt her, and that I would always be on her side.


	27. Far Away

_**A/N: Back to Stephanie.**_

Friday and Saturday after Ranger left passed in a bit of a haze. I texted Connie both days, saying I was sick and wouldn't be coming into the office. She asked if I could be pregnant, to which I had replied that I wasn't. It was just a virus. Named Diana.

I spent Friday morning eating all of the junk food in the house, reflecting on what had happened in the past forty-eight hours. It all seemed so outrageous that I couldn't quite believe any of it had happened. What had surprised me even more had been when Bob and I had come back from the park to find Ranger still at the house. When he had told me I was going to listen while he spoke, he'd done so with the authority and determination that once again reminded me he had been a company commander in the Army Special Forces, taking shit from no one. I'd been so stunned that I hadn't argued, but had actually listened to him as he said he wasn't giving up on us without a fight. I had stood in the entryway for a couple of minutes after he had left, trying to figure out if I should be indignant or thankful that he said we would take a few days apart before talking about the subject again. I rehashed everything from Wednesday and Thursday in my head again and again, trying to determine if I had overreacted or if the situation had been what it had looked like. I knew what Ranger had told me, and I knew what I had always believed of Ranger. Deep down, I knew Ranger was faithful to me. I knew nothing physical had happened between him and Diana, but my fears had been that, despite what he said, he may have wanted something to happen.

I knew the comparison to Dickie had been a low blow on my part. I'd been fueled by hurt and anger when I'd seen Ranger talking to Diana, wondering why he would lie to me about his dinner companion. I still hadn't been able to figure out the dinner situation. Part of me believed Ranger when he said he was meeting his lawyer and Diana just happened to show up, but part of me thought that situation was too much of a coincidence to believe. Ranger would have noticed Diana tailing him as he drove through Trenton to the restaurant, so I had a hard time believing she could have simply followed him from the office.

By Sunday, I had started to accept that maybe I had overreacted about Ranger and Diana at the restaurant, and that I hadn't given him enough credit when he tried to explain the situation. What was really bothering me was how emotionally distant Ranger remained, even after almost a year as a couple and going through the traumatic aftermath of his time in Somalia together. I felt like I still knew so little about him, and I couldn't figure out what we really had in common that could keep us together in the long run. I knew the saying 'opposites attract' was true in some situations, but could it really hold true when we were almost complete opposites?

I skipped Mass on Sunday, not wanting to see anyone. I hadn't been anywhere since the night Ranger left, except to go on runs with Bob each morning. He had driven me crazy on Friday morning when he hadn't had a chance to run. I'd finally given in around eleven, returning home half an hour later clutching a stitch in my side. Bob had led me around the path that he must normally take with Ranger, but when I'd failed to be a very good running companion, he hadn't fought me when I told him it was time to go back home. I had gone through all of the junk food by mid-afternoon on Friday, and had debated about going out to buy more, but couldn't bring myself to go to the store on the chance that I'd run into someone I knew. I was afraid if I saw someone I knew and they asked me how Ranger and I were doing, that I would burst into tears, spreading rumors throughout the Burg. I didn't want to talk to anyone because I was afraid if I told anyone what was going on that it would mean something. What that entailed was beyond me, but I wasn't willing to risk it and suffered through eating Ranger's healthy foods instead.

I couldn't fall asleep on Sunday night, trying to figure out what I was going to do or say when Ranger came back on Tuesday. I knew I would need to apologize for overreacting and for comparing him to Dickie, but I wasn't sure what I was going to say about our future. This situation had showed me that something had to change on both of our ends. We couldn't keep living the way we had been, or we'd just be back in this situation in another few months, regardless of Diana. But I was still bothered by what I'd seen at the restaurant. I knew it wasn't a big deal that he had been laidback with her. They'd had a romantic relationship at one point, so it was natural that sometimes they would be able to still get along. It wasn't any different than when I would talk to Morelli. I would be inclined to be relaxed in his presence, even if I didn't necessarily want him there in that moment. But that part of Ranger's personality was kept so hidden that even I didn't see it as often as I would like, but Diana sweeps into town after almost thirteen years and it happens almost immediately. It also bothered me that she knew him before the darkness had crept into his soul. Before he'd killed anyone, had been tortured, and had made the painful decision to let another man become father to his child.

And I was dying to know what she had said that had made him laugh. Ranger didn't laugh often, and it was generally at my expense. Not that I minded that he laughed at me, because I loved seeing him laugh, but laughing with Diana had made me wonder what she had said to him. Even though Ranger had told me to call him if I had any questions, I had told myself I wouldn't do it. If I wanted to ask him something, I would wait until Tuesday. But my curiosity was getting the best of me, and in an impulsive move at two-seventeen in the morning, I punched his number into my phone.

I hung up the phone at two-twenty-three in a bit of a daze. I'd learned what I had wanted to know, and so much more. Ranger had actually admitted to having bought me an engagement ring, and that he had been holding on to it until I was ready for him to ask me. It had brought tears to my eyes to know that he'd been waiting on me, and that he had been willing to share that information with Diana, stressing to her how much he wanted to be with me. Guilt weighed on me as the night passed by, wondering what was going through Ranger's head. I wondered how long ago he would have proposed, had I not been the commitment-phobe I've been for the past decade. I also wondered if the ring was somewhere in the house. And since I couldn't sleep anyway, I figured I might as well put that energy to a productive use.

By dawn, I'd given up my search and left the house to go to the bakery for doughnuts. I'd surmised that the ring was nowhere in the house, unless Ranger had hollowed out some sort of object that I wouldn't suspect and had hidden in there. I'd look through his clothes in the closet, in the dresser, his nightstand, under the bed, inside books, and around the office. It was probably at Rangeman, either in his office or the old apartment, and I knew I'd never find it there without being on camera. After eating three Boston Cremes, I took Bob for his run before showering and dressing. I would have to go into the office today, or I'd never hear the end of the pregnancy rumors. I was feeling a little better about the situation with Ranger, and knew a little more of what I wanted to say to him when I'd see him the next day.

"Are you feeling better?" Connie said when I walked in the office door a little after nine.

"Yep," I said, picking up the flies on Connie's desk. "It was a stomach virus, but it's gone now."

"That's good. I was worried maybe something had happened with Ranger or that Diana, and you'd been laying low."

I did my best Ranger impression and kept my expression neutral. "I haven't heard from her at all since she showed up here on Wednesday."

"Has Ranger heard from her?"

"He's in Miami. He left on Thursday, and he'll be back tomorrow. She may be motivated, but I doubt that she'd follow him down there."

Connie nodded. "She's a trip. I did some checking on her the other day. She's huge in D.C., and had a long list of well-connected boyfriends before she got married. She likes powerful, successful men, especially those with political ambitions."

No shit. While Ranger didn't have any desire to be in politics, he met all of the other criteria.

I was flipping through files when Lula came into the office. She was wearing a purple-sequined tube top, painted on black leggings and purple high heels.

"I'm gonna need your help tonight," she said, plopping down on the sofa. "I need help moving in with Tank, and seeing as I helped you move, I thought you'd be willing to help me."

Meaning that I would do it with or without Lula's Glock pointed at my head, I interpreted. It was my call.

"Sure, I'll help," I said. "Ranger's out of town until tomorrow, so I'd just be home alone anyway."

I agreed to meet Lula at her house at five that afternoon and went back home around noon to make some phone calls on my open cases. I had just let Bob out to tinkle when the doorbell rang, making him bark. I grabbed ahold of collar as I opened and fought to keep him from knocking over the woman standing on the front stoop. She looked to be in her early-twenties, dressed in a black skirt and light blue blouse.

"Hi, I'm Libby. I'm Mr. Wolowski's assistant," she said brightly. "I have a document I need to drop off for Mr. Manoso to sign."

"He isn't here right now," I said, as Bob tried to jerk me out the door.

"That's fine. Mr. Wolowski just wanted me to get this document over here today. He was out of the office on Friday after his car accident on his way to his meeting with Mr. Manoso on Thursday night, and these papers are time-sensitive, so he wanted me to deliver them today."

I accepted a manila envelope that she offered to me. "Once Mr. Manoso gets a chance to sign them, he can drop them off at the office or I can come pick them up. If he has any questions, he can call Mr. Wolowski directly."

I shut the door once she had turned to leave and released my hold on Bob, who was disappointed he hadn't been able to greet the woman and went over to lay on his pillow and pout. Any lingering doubts about Ranger's intended dinner companion on Thursday night were now gone. He'd really been meeting his lawyer, who had been delayed because of a car accident. How Diana had ended up at the restaurant was pointless now, because I knew for sure that Ranger had been telling the truth.

I looked down at the envelope in my hand. It was just a normal manila envelope with his name written on the outside. It wasn't sealed, but held closed with the little metal clasp. It was likely just something to do with Rangeman business, and it would be wrong of me to look at documents that were supposed to be personal between a lawyer and his client, but the words 'time-sensitive' had intrigued me. He had sold his Atlanta and Boston offices almost a year ago, but I wondered if he had started considering expanding further in Jersey. He'd been talking to his brother-in-law over the summer about it, saying he'd considered opening a smaller office in the Newark area. I also wondered if it was something to do with Diana. Was he trying to get a restraining order, or possibly dealing with some sort of blackmail from her? A crazy thought crossed my mind—what if she had come to tell him he'd fathered a child with her that he'd never known about?

"You've lost your mind," I said out loud, banging my head against the door.

Since it wasn't sealed, I knew I could look at it without Ranger ever knowing. I could take a quick peek to satisfy my curiosity and push aside the crazy theories and that would be it. I made the sign of the cross, asked God to forgive me for what I was about to do, opened the envelope and pulled out the document, which consisted of several pages that were held together by a paper clip. I skimmed the document quickly as my heart rate picked up and tears pricked my eyes.

It was a contract with a realty company to sell his apartment in Newark.

The realization of what that meant overwhelmed me. Ranger may not express his thoughts and emotions in the ways I wanted him to, but it didn't mean he didn't have the feelings I wanted him to have. I put the contract back in the envelope and set in on the table where we left the mail each day. Now I debated about whether I should tell Ranger I know about the apartment, or let him tell me. My commitment issues were obviously much bigger than I had been willing to acknowledge, and I was beginning to realize that apparently Ranger had more faith in my ability to overcome this than I had in myself. I spent the next few hours trying to get back to work, but was distracted by thoughts of Ranger and what I would say when I saw him. I didn't know what to say, or how to say it, but I knew what I felt. I loved him. I wanted to be with him, but that I would struggle with getting over these issues. I just hoped he could be patient enough to stand by me while I figured them out.

I met Lula at her apartment at five, and we spent the next two hours getting everything packed and put into our cars. She was leaving her sofa behind, saying she wouldn't need it at Tank's house, and the rest of the furnishings had come with the apartment. What consisted of ninety-nine percent of the packing was her clothing. She had been sleeping in her living room because she had turned her bedroom into a dressing room and closet. We'd hauled the last of her clothes into Tank's when he finally arrived home, dressed in Rangeman black. His cats had been hiding in separate corners of the living room, watching us carry in boxes.

"You can't leave the door open like that," Tank said, looking around quickly. "The cats could escape."

I had the feeling that Lula wouldn't be too disappointed if they had, and that she may have left the door open for that very reason.

"Relax," she said, jerking her thumb towards the living room. "They are all hiding in there, plotting which of my dresses they're gonna pee on, I'm sure."

"Well, this has been fun," I said, looking at my watch. "But I've got to get going. See you tomorrow."

I fled the house quickly, not wanting to be in on the discussion of Tank's cats versus Lula's wardrobe. As I drove home, I pulled out my cell phone and dialed Ranger's number. I wanted to talk to him, to apologize for being an idiot and tell him that I missed him. I was ready for Tuesday night to be here already, so that we could talk and try to get on with our lives. His phone went straight to voicemail, which meant it was likely off. Or the battery was dead. Unlikely, because Ranger was organized and always remembered to charge his cell phone. I tried his phone again at ten-thirty, but it still went to voicemail. Not sure what it meant, I decided I would just talk to him when I saw him.

I wasn't sure what had woken me up, but the clock by the table told me it was almost one o'clock in the morning. I breathed in the scent of Bulgari Green, which had lingered on Ranger's pillow, and tried to figure out why I was awake. The room was dark, but there was a shadow of something in front of the closet. It took my eyes and brain a minute to start functioning, but I eventually realized that the thing in front of the closet was a carry-on suitcase. Ranger's suitcase, to be exact.

I sat up in bed and looked around the room, finding him sitting in the club chair in the corner. He was watching me intently, and I wondered how long he'd been there. My heart leapt into my throat as I spoke.

"Hey," I said in a voice barely above a whisper. "I thought you weren't coming back until tomorrow."

"I couldn't really stand be gone any longer," he said, standing up and walking over to the bed. He sat down on the edge next to me and turned to face me. "I needed to talk to you."

I felt my lip start to tremble a little as fear suddenly flooded me. Was he going to tell me that he didn't think we could work things out?

"Ranger, please," I said, trying not to cry. "I'm sorry I overreacted about Diana, and that I compared you to Dickie. I know you didn't cheat on me. I believe you when you say that you were meeting your attorney, and that she just showed up. I believe you love me and that I can trust you. Your attorney's assistant brought by a paper for you today, and she said you were supposed to have signed it on Thursday, but that your lawyer was in an accident on his way to meet you and was in the hospital. And I looked at the paper and I saw that you were going to sell your apartment in Newark. I'm sorry I looked, but I was just curious, and I'm sorry I freak out. I'm a mess, I know that, and I don't want to lose you. I love you, and—,"

Ranger had put a finger to my lips, interrupting my babbling. "You're rambling."

"Sorry," I said sheepishly. "I've not been sure how to say everything I wanted to say. I was hoping to be a little more eloquent than that."

"How about you hear me out then if you need to say anything else, you can say it afterwards?"

I nodded.

Ranger took a deep breath and put picked up one of my hands in his. "I've realized in the last few days that my actions have been a big part of what got us to this point. Not just mean with the Diana situation, but in general. First, I've never really recognized the damage that Dickie Orr's infidelity caused in you. I knew you were afraid of commitment because of him, but I didn't think about what that meant. You loved him, you trusted him enough to marry him, and he did nothing but hurt you. Secondly, I haven't been what you needed me to be. You wanted me to open up to you and let you get to know me better, and I haven't really done that. I let you in more when it came to what happened in Somalia, but outside of that situation, I've only done enough to appease you in the moment, to get you off my case. And finally, I told you there were things that I wouldn't tell you until I was sure you could handle them. And that was wrong of me. I shouldn't be deciding what you get to know because I don't want you to react badly. I need to tell you things, and let you process the information in whatever way you need to. Not telling you about Diana immediately was one of those times, and it has made me realize that my way thinking has been faulty in that regard. I trust you with my life, and my secrets. I'm sorry that I've failed you, because it means that you'll never be able to move on from what's happened to you if you are always worried that I'm hiding things from you or questioning my intentions. I'm going to work harder to be what you need. It won't be easy for me, because it doesn't come naturally to me, and I'm going to need you to push me when I don't want to do it. But I will to do it because I want to be with you, not matter what that looks like."

Tears had run down my cheeks as Ranger spoke. I had no idea what he would have been feeling like so much of this was on him. I felt guilty that he seemed to be taking so much of this on himself, but everything he said also made sense.

"I have to work through this too," I said, wiping my cheeks with my free hand. "I need to stop letting that asshole have such an effect on my life. It's been almost ten years, you'd think I'd be able to let that go. I'm sorry we got to this point, but I promise I'm going to work hard too. Because I want to be with you for the rest of my life. And one day, I will be ready to marry you."

Ranger leaned forward, pressing his lips to mine, and pulling me into him. I wrapped my arms around him as the kiss deepened and he pushed me down on the bed. He ran his hands up my sides, pushing my tank top up and breaking the kiss long enough to pull it off over my head. I did the same for him, and soon we were both naked and engaged in most tender and fulfilling sex we'd ever had. Something had changed between us, and within both of us, and we both knew it.

Afterwards, we lay together, my head on his chest. He ran a hand up and down my back, tracing my spine with his fingertips.

"I helped Lula move in with Tank today," I told Ranger. "But I got out before they started to have a fight about his cats."

Ranger chuckled. "Good call. He's like a mother bear about those cats. It's pathetic. Sometimes I can't believe I employ him to watch my back."

"I can't believe they are actually going through with this after everything that happened last time," I said, tilting my head up to look at Ranger. "I can't seem to think of anything they have in common. Though I guess I can't really think of anything we have in common either, so that's probably not a good judge of whether a relationship will work."

"You don't think we have anything in common?"

I shook my head. "Not really. Unless there are things that I don't know about, or I'm just not considering. Why? What do you think we have in common, other than chasing down criminal?"

Ranger moved his hand up to my head to start stroking my hair. "To start with, we were both born earlier than we were supposed to be, into families where we were the youngest child. Both as children, and now as adults, we've never been really what our mothers wanted us to be, especially in comparison to our much more perfect older siblings. Neither of us were especially inspired by college. We're both incredibly stubborn, but also resilient. And—,"

Ranger stopped for a minute, letting out a sigh and rubbing his other hand over his eyes. "I can't believe I'm about to admit these next two things."

"What?" I asked, my curiosity piqued.

"Like you, when I was growing up, I wanted to be a superhero," Ranger said, looking at though it were killing him to say the words. "I wanted to be Superman. And what is probably one of my deepest secrets: I love cake as much as you do. I rarely eat it because it's full of fat and carbs, but I really do love it."

"You're kidding, right?" I asked, leaning up on my elbows. "You weren't serious about those last two things."

"You think I'd make that shit up?" Ranger asked, looking a little embarrassed. "Trust me, I just bared my soul right there, and it was tough."

I fought the urge to laugh, not at him, but because it was so adorable that he'd admitted those things to me. "I didn't think it was possible to love you any more than I already did, but I do now. That is absolutely adorable."

Ranger groaned and put his hand over his eyes. "You're killing me, babe."

I kissed his chest. "Don't worry, your secret is safe with me. I love that you love cake. That means you won't say no if I propose more nights like that one we had with the cake Morelli brought over."

Ranger smiled. "That night was mostly me looking for an excuse to eat the icing without you realizing that I really wanted it. Eating it off your body was just a bonus."

"Well, now you don't have to pretend. I won't tell anyone if you eat cake. And if you need to justify it to yourself in the form of eating it off my body, then you are more than welcome," I told him, sitting and throwing my leg over his body to straddle him. "I might even have to start using the same justification."

"And this is why I love you so much," Ranger said, as he ran his hands up my body once more.


	28. Dirty Laundry

I woke up the next morning with Ranger still holding me close. A peek at the clock told me it was six-thirty, and Bob was whining outside our bedroom door, desperate to go out to pee and run off the energy he'd acquired in the night.

"Are you taking Bob out for his run this morning, or do you want me to?" I asked.

Ranger opened his eyes and looked down at me. "Are you trying to tell me you took Bob running while I was in Miami?"

"Yes. He kept annoying me until I did so. You've spoiled that dog."

"If it means he doesn't chew up the furniture, then I would say it's worth it."

That was true. Bob hadn't destroyed a single thing since moving in with us, and he'd even lost a few pounds by running with Ranger every morning and eating only diet dog food.

"I'm not able to run as fast or for as long as you, so he'd probably rather you take him," I suggested. "He kept giving me looks that seemed to say 'are you kidding me?' every time I'd tell him we needed to stop and walk home."

Ranger shook his head at me and rolled over to get out of bed. "I have to agree with Bob. You're pretty pathetic."

I whacked his back with a pillow as he stood up. "Whatever. I'm going back to sleep."

"Want me to wake you up when I get back so we can take a shower?" Ranger asked as he pulled out running shorts and a t-shirt.

"Of course," I said, cuddling in to his pillow. "I'm lazy, not dead."

By eight o'clock, Ranger had finished his run and we'd had a very satisfying shower before heading downstairs to find something for breakfast. We ended up eating toast, yogurt and cantaloupe.

"I need to go to the store today," I said. "I polished off all my junk food by noon on Friday, and I didn't want to have to see people, so I didn't go out until yesterday. I just sat around all weekend eating your freaking rabbit food. I need sugary stuff."

"I'm proud of you, babe," Ranger said, finishing his yogurt. "First voluntarily running, now healthy eating; I may convert you yet."

I pulled a face. "I don't think so, mister. Besides, after pretending to be you for a few days, I'm thinking you should have a night where you do all the things I do, just to see what it's like."

"What is that supposed to entail?"

"Eating fat-laden Chinese food while watching reality television like _The Biggest Loser_ and _Hoarders."_

Ranger stared at me for a minute, as though waiting for me to tell him I was just kidding. It wasn't happening.

"Does this have to be tonight?" he asked.

"It's either tonight or tomorrow night. Otherwise, you'll keep finding excuses not to do it. And if it's tomorrow night, we'll have to watch _Survivor_ and _Love It or List It._ I think you'd like tonight's shows better."

"Watching people struggle with morbid obesity and a mental disorder is more entertaining than watching people pretend to live on a deserted island?"

"You're such a kill-joy."

Ranger watched me for a minute before speaking again. "Fine, tonight then. Just order me whatever you're having, since I'm not allowed to eat anything with less than a thousand calories."

I rolled my eyes. "What I eat isn't _that_ bad. The chicken is healthy, and there are vegetables in the rice and the egg rolls. And I read online the other day that the two main ingredients for chocolate come from plants, so the chocolate cake is basically a vegetable."

Ranger looked like he wanted to burst into laughter, but refrained. "You should have been lawyer. Your ability to find justification for any number of things is astounding."

"Whatever, just be home by eight."

Ranger kissed me on the head as he went to put away his dishes. "What did you do with that paper from my lawyer?"

"It's on the side table."

He bid me good-bye, and I set to work tracking down my open FTAs. I was able to bring in Carmen Jones, Sabrina Harris, and Kyle Marcum before lunch. I stopped by the office and checked in with Connie and Lula once I'd left the jail.

"You're all happy today," Lula said, looking me over. "Either Ranger came home early, or you've been getting some on the side."

I rolled my eyes. "He came home last night."

"Any word from Diana now that he's back in town?" Connie asked, pulling papers out of the printer tray.

"Not so far, but he didn't get in until midnight or so. Give her another couple of hours."

"She's scum," Lula said. "She's almost as bad as Joyce Barnhardt."

"How did things go with Tank after I left yesterday?" I asked, not wanting to talk about Diana. I never wanted to talk about freaking Diana Hastings again. All I really wanted to do was to kick her until she was dead.

"He got all huffy about his damn cats," Lula said, looking pissy. "He talked about Applepuff, or whatever her name is, being preggers and that she could get hit by a car if I left the door open. I told him if he didn't start remembering who was more important, me or the cats, then he'd be the one getting hit by a car."

"Just another day on the _Lula & Tank Show_," Connie commented.

"I'm sure it'll be fine," I told Lula. "It'll just take some adjustment. I wasn't sure how Ranger would do living with Bob, and it's worked out great. They go running every morning, and Bob doesn't chew up anything out of fear that Ranger will shoot him."

"Hunh. Maybe I just need to threaten to shoot the cats if they piss on my clothes, and they'll stay away," Lula suggested.

"You could try it," Connie replied. "But I'd wait until Tank is at work."

"Any new skips for me?" I asked Connie.

"Nope. People are actually showing up to court for a change."

I shrugged. "It's fine. I'm not as hard up for cash as I used to be. I've had some pretty big bonds in the last few months, plus I've not had to buy a car lately because Ranger keeps me in supply, and he's been paying the utilities at the house. It's nice to not be so desperate for a change."

"Yeah, I'm looking forward to having more money to spend on clothes and shoes," Lula said. "Living with Tank is going to be great on my budget."

I shook my head. "If he kicks you out in a week, you aren't staying with Ranger and me."

"Me neither," Connie said.

I left the bond's office and debated about what to do since I had the rest of the afternoon to myself. I could go see my family, or I could go to Rangeman and to see Ranger and find out if he was keeping my engagement ring in his office or the old apartment. I imagined it would be locked up and I wouldn't even get close to it, but it didn't hurt to check things out, right?

I drove to Rangeman, parked in the underground garage and made my way up to the fifth floor. I waved at some of the guys I knew as I walked across the control room floor towards Ranger's office. The door was shut, so I made a detour to Tank's cubicle.

"Hey, is Ranger busy?" I asked. "His door is shut, so I wasn't sure."

Tank looked around at me. "He was making a phone call. I bet he'll be done soon."

"Thanks," I said, resting my arm on the partition. "How are things with Lula going? Are she and the cats going to be able to coexist?"

"I hope so. I love my cats. I don't want to have to choose either them or her," Tank said, and I could tell by his tone that Lula's chances over the cats weren't that high.

"I'm sure it'll be fine," I said, looking over my shoulder as Ranger's door opened. "Talk to you later."

Ranger was walking out of his office and heading towards the break room. "I didn't expect to see you here today."

I shrugged. "No one's skipped out on bail over the last few days, so I had some free time. I thought I'd come see you at work. It's been while since I've been here."

Ranger put an arm around my shoulders and kissed my head. "I'm glad you stopped by. I want to tell you about the phone call I just made. Wait in my office. I'll be back in a minute."

Perfect. He would be away for a minute, so I could do a little snooping to see if he had the ring in the office. I could check out his desk drawers and see if he had a safe. I knew there was a camera in his office, but I didn't think anyone would say anything to him for fear that I might have permission to be snooping and that Ranger would shoot them for being tattletales.

His desk would be the least accessible part once he came back, so I immediately sat down in his chair and opened up drawers. The middle drawer had an organizer with pens, notepads, extra staples, paper clips, white-out, a pencil, a magazine for his Glock, a second Glock, a penlight, rubber bands, and his car keys. I opened the top right drawer, which held his stapler, a tape dispenser, a knife, a stun gun and two other sets of car keys. The drawer below it was a file drawer, where labeled files were alphabetically organized. The top left drawer held information packets about the various types of systems they offered, along with a mag light, and a couple of brochures advertising for the company. The bottom left drawer, presumably another file drawer, was locked. Damn.

I heard Ranger say something to someone right outside the door, so I straightened up in the seat and acted as though I'd just been casually waiting for him. He walked in a second later with a bottle of water in one hand and a sandwich and an apple in the other. He paused when he saw me in his seat.

"What?" I asked innocently. "You told me to wait for you."

He continued to eye me suspiciously for a moment, so I rolled my eyes and stood up. "You can have your chair back. I'll sit in the guest chair like a good girl."

I walked around the desk, eyeing the walls for a sign of a safe. I didn't immediately see one.

Ranger shut the door behind him and took his place behind the desk. "I just got off the phone with a man that was in boot camp with me. He blew out his knee right before training was over so he went back to college and studied journalism. He's now a national news anchor, Michael Maddox."

I was familiar with Michael Maddox. He was respectable and known for being one of the youngest journalists in the business with a highly successful show.

"Wow," I said, taking a seat across from Ranger. "You're a well-connected man."

"This was just pure luck. Anyway, he and I were good friends during our time there, and I'd told him about what had happened with Diana. He had told me once that he'd help me get revenge on her if I ever needed it. Of course, I never took him up on that. Until now."

My jaw dropped. What was this man up to?

"I told Diana that if she bothered you, I'd make her life a living hell. I'm going to follow through on that promise by exposing something she wanted to keep secret. Like the fact that not only had she been sleeping with a married federal judge, but that she had been doing so off-and-on over the course of three years, during which time she was also married, and coincidentally won several cases that crossed before the same judge."

I sucked in some air. "No way. What do you think will happen to her?"

"Her reputation as a respected lawyer will be out the window," Ranger said, taking a bite of his sandwich and chewing. "Her reputation and career are everything to her. It'll likely get her disbarred, the judge will be forced to step down, and those cases that they shared will be reviewed and likely appealed."

I smiled at Ranger. "So you felt it was important to share this information with your friend, the journalist?"

"I told him what I'd found out, told him how to find the information for himself in order to avoid any paper trail between us, and thanked him for his willingness to help. He thanked me for likely earning him a Peabody Award."

I laughed. "I like it. I was afraid you were going to make her disappear, never to be seen or heard from again."

"I'd like to, but it's not worth the risk. She's not worth going to jail over. And holding this information over her head as blackmail wouldn't have worked out well either. She would have tried to find out something worse about me, and it would have been a blackmail pissing-contest. And she would win, because I've done much worse than just sleep with a federal judge."

I nodded. "I agree. This seems good. Otherwise, I'd have to kick her ass. And like you said, she isn't worth jail time."

Ranger's cell phone buzzed and he looked at the display. I took the time to look around the room, trying to see if there might be a safe hidden behind something. There were a couple of pieces of art on two of the walls, chosen by the decorator no doubt, but I couldn't tell if one of them was hiding a safe.

"What are you looking for?" Ranger asked, startling me.

"Just looking around," I said sweetly. "Do you have a safe in here?"

"Yes, why?"

"I've been wondering about where to store my important documents, and I thought maybe if you had a safe, I could store them in there. I don't have much, so it's not really worth renting a box at the bank, or installing one at the house. Do you keep much in there?"

"I keep original documents in there as an extra precaution," he replied.

"Expensive things too?" I asked, not meeting his eye as I rubbed a pretend smudge off of the desk.

He watched me for a minute before a realization came over him. "Babe."

"What? I already looked around the house, and it wasn't there, so I assumed it was here," I said, giving up the charade. "At least now I know."

"Which is exactly why it's in the safe, and not at the house," he said, smirking. "You're nosey."

I blew out a sigh. "I know. It's all Grandma Mazur's fault."

Ranger turned his attention to his computer. "I'm going to pretend that's where the similarity to your grandmother ends. I don't look forward to having to pry you away from closed caskets at funeral homes forty years from now."

The fact that Ranger intended to be by my side in forty years made me feel incredibly warm inside, even if he was right about the funeral home bit. And for the first time, the idea of being with Ranger forty years down the road didn't make me break out in a cold sweat. I took that as a sign of progress.

"Since my sleuthing was a bust, I'm going to head out. I'll go visit my parents' house to see how their kitchen progress is coming along," I said, standing up and putting my purse back on my shoulder.

Ranger stood up and walked around the desk, pulling me into him for a kiss. "Better luck next time, Nancy Drew."

"Ned Nickerson would have let her see the ring," I said.

"Who?"

"Ned Nickerson was Nancy Drew's boyfriend," I replied. "Haven't you ever read any of the books?"

Ranger looked at me as though I'd just asked when his period was due. "Definitely not."

I shrugged. "Anyway, Ned would let Nancy see the ring, even if he wasn't planning to give it to her just yet."

"Just one more reason to be glad my name isn't Ned Nickerson."

I spent the next couple of hours visiting with my mother and grandmother, who were going over paint, cabinet, counter top and tile samples left by the contractor, who had come by earlier in the day to give an estimate for the work of gutting the kitchen and starting over. My mother swore she was going to do something different than what had been in there, but the tile, cabinets, counter top and wall colors she was favoring looked an awful lot like the originals. My suggestions fell on deaf ears. Apparently not knowing how to use most of the kitchen doesn't earn you much of a say on design.

I spent the rest of the afternoon and early evening grocery shopping, cleaning, and taking Bob out for a long walk. By seven-thirty I was changed into a tank top and cotton shorts, had ordered our Chinese, and was waiting for Ranger to come home. I was excited for my evening with Ranger, if though I knew he was going to hate it. There hadn't been any awkwardness between us since we'd talked everything out, but I was wanting his first full night back to be fun and different, so things didn't have the chance to get awkward. It was nice to know that he was willing to sacrifice his normal evening routine and diet to do something I liked.

The food arrived about five minutes before Ranger, so I had everything set out for us on the coffee table by the time I heard him walk in the back door.

"Are you busy this weekend?" Ranger asked, as he sat down on the couch.

"Nope," I replied. "What's up?"

"I need to go up to Newark to pack up the apartment," he said, "My lawyer said it will officially be on the market on Sunday, so I want to be able to get everything that isn't staying out before they start bringing people in. We could stay up there Friday night to start packing and finish on Saturday. I'll have some stuff that we won't need, so my parents will take it to their church. They run a domestic violence shelter and are always in need of household items."

"Sure," I said. "I'm happy to help. I've been hoping you would do this for a while."

"Yeah, I've been thinking about it for a while, but didn't actually make a plan for anything until after Morelli was here last month and made a comment about it not looking like I lived here. I saw this look on your face that made me realize it might have struck a nerve with you," Ranger said, accepting his Chinese food.

"It did," I admitted, mixing some of my fried rice into the box with Kung-Pow Chicken. "I'd already been worried about it, and what it meant before Morelli's comment."

"I had been holding out in the first couple of months because I wondered if you'd be overwhelmed by us living together and eventually want me to move back to my apartment," he said, watching me. "I didn't want to give up the apartment in Newark if I was going to end up back at Rangeman."

I heaved a sigh. "That's pathetic. I hate that I make you feel that way."

"I don't feel like that now," he said, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. "And it wasn't so much about you not wanting me here, but me not pushing you too far too fast."

"Well I'm happy you're doing this now," I told him. "I think it's coming at a good time. As hard as everything that happened this week was, I think it has been the best thing to happen to us."

"I agree," Ranger said, opening his box of Kung-Pow Chicken and glancing inside. He heaved a sigh and took a bite, probably calculating how much extra working out he'd have to do to burn off the calories throughout the remainder of the week.

"Show time," I said as the credits came on. "I really think you'll like this show. It's about your favorite things: healthy eating and exercise."

"And this dinner is what, irony?"

"We are eating for them," I said, pointing at the television. "In honor of their success."

We ate in silence, watching Jillian Michaels yell at contestants. "You could do that job if you ever want out of the security business," I told Ranger.

"She reminds me of the drill sergeant I had in boot camp," he replied, exchanging his container of chicken for his fried rice. "I feel like I should be doing push-ups."

We cleaned up from our meal during the commercial break between _Biggest Loser_ and _Hoarders_ , and when we returned to the couch, I snuggled up against Ranger.

"Do we really have to watch a show about hoarders?" he asked, putting an arm around my waist.

"Yes," I replied. "It's really good. It makes me feel better about the house not being as perfect as my mother's house, plus I like trying to figure out why they do this. Everyone's story is different."

I couldn't see him, but I was pretty sure he was rolling his eyes.

Five minutes into the show, Ranger's fingers started working their way up the inside of my shorts.

"Are you turned on by compulsive hoarding?"

"I'm turned on by you in these shorts," he replied. "The show doesn't stand a chance of holding my interest."

He kissed the back of my neck and moved his other hand to my breast. The show was rapidly losing my attention as well.

Within ten minutes, the television was just background noise as Ranger moved inside me. He had picked up his pace and we were both in the middle of an orgasm when there was a knock at the door.

"Who-the-hell…" I said in staccato as I came down from my climax.

Ranger groaned as he finished, resting his head on my shoulder and breathing heavily. "Someone's going to die."

The person knocked again, and we both got up from the couch and stuffed ourselves back into our clothes, which were piled on the floor. I was dressed first and walked over to the entryway. Even though the glass on the front door was set up so that seeing in or out of it was distorted, there was no mistaking the figure of Diana Hastings.

"It's Diana," I told Ranger, who was zipping up his pants.

He pulled his t-shirt over his head and walked over to the door, wrenching it open. Diana was standing on the stoop in jeans and a sleeveless blue silk blouse with a long strand of pearls hanging from her neck. There were tear tracks on her cheeks, and her eyes were bloodshot.

"I can't believe you," she told Ranger. "All I wanted was to get you back, and you turn around and tell Michael Maddox that I had an affair with a federal judge."

"I told you to stay away from Stephanie," Ranger said unapologetically. "And you didn't listen."

Tears leaked out of Diana's eyes. "How can you hurt someone you used to be in love with?"

"You'd be the best one to answer that question," Ranger said coldly. "And the reason I can hurt you without remorse is because you tried to hurt the person I love the most. I warned you."

She took a deep, shuddering breath as she looked up at Ranger. "What happened to you? You aren't the Carlos Manoso I used to know."

"You leaving me happened," he replied. "The Army, a war, my daughter, my business, and Stephanie Plum happened. You can't honestly think I could go through all of that and still be that pathetic man that you could control with just a look."

Diana looked past Ranger at me. A very small part of me felt bad for her, standing on my front stoop crying because her world was crumbling down around her. The larger and louder part of me said the bitch had it coming to her.

"I hope you're happy," she said, wiping more tears away. "I'll likely be disbarred, my cases appealed and found in the favors of the other party, and I'll be sued for malpractice. You and I could have had a great life together, but instead you want to play house with this train wreck."

"I would have been perfectly happy if you would have left us alone," Ranger told her. "But you couldn't stay away from Stephanie, so now you're paying for it."

Diana turned to leave, but paused and looked back at me once more. "You see what kind of a man he is, don't you? He'll fuck you over one day too."

"That's what he was doing when you knocked on the door," I said, smirking. "Why do you think it took us so long to answer?"

Ranger shut the door on Diana and her stunned expression before turning to face me. "Babe."

I shrugged. "She walked right into that one."

He walked over to me and pulled me into his arms. "I hate that this happened, but I think it's over. I doubt she'll be back."

"Good," I said, my voice muffled into Ranger's chest. "I don't like having to fight for you, but I will if necessary."

I felt him laugh. "There was never any chance of her winning, babe. You might be a train wreck, but you're my train wreck."

"And people say romance is dead."

We left at six o'clock on Friday to head up to Newark. We had made a gamble and left Bob home alone, with Lula stopping by to let him out and feed him while we were in Newark. If we made it through the experience with only a few things destroyed, I'd consider it an overwhelming success. I was sitting in the front seat opening the mail I had grabbed as we'd been getting ready to leave. It was mostly bills, but what caught my attention was a cream-colored envelope that was addressed to Carlos Manoso and Stephanie Plum. The return address said it was from Miami. I ripped open the envelope and read the card inside.

"Julio and Kevin are having a wedding next month in New York," I told Ranger. "It's going to be at a resort in the Catskills, and they want us to come up the day before the wedding and attend the rehearsal dinner."

"You're kidding, right?"

I gave him a stern look. "No, I'm not kidding. Same-sex couples can have weddings too."

"I was referring to their personalities, not that they are two men getting married," Ranger said. "I imagine their mothers must have pushed them into this. All of the men in my unit had similar personalities. None of us were the type to be excited about a wedding."

"So you're saying if we get married that you don't want a wedding?"

"I didn't say that," he said, glancing at me. "Kinsey had a wedding because Amanda wanted it, or at least was planning to have a wedding until Orin decided to start trouble. I just meant that since there isn't someone in the couple who would have a high expectations for a wedding that it must be someone else's pressure that's led to them having one."

"So you do want a wedding?" I asked, trying not to smile. I knew I was driving him nuts, but it was worth it to get his perspective on things like weddings.

"I want to be married to you," he replied. "How that is achieved is up to you."

I watched him for a minute. "That was really sweet. It almost makes me want to cry."

Ranger shook his head. "I miss the days when I was a badass."

I laughed. "You are definitely still a badass."

"The words 'sweet' and 'adorable' have been used to describe me in less than a week. I don't think that makes me a badass anymore."

"I disagree," I said, putting my hand on his leg. "Every badass is someone's son, and usually someone's boyfriend or husband, so they've all been called those things before. They just don't admit it."

"I certainly won't be," he replied, giving me a small smile.

"Back to the wedding," I said. "Are we going?"

"Yes. I imagine Rachel and Ron will be there with the kids, so you can meet them and see Julie again. She's been asking me to bring you down to Miami."

I filled out the RSVP card and put it in my purse to drop in the mail. I was looking forward to going to the wedding, but found myself slightly nervous at the idea of meeting Ranger's ex-wife. Not that they had been a normal couple that divorced, but I still wanted her to like me. I had a very strong chance of being her daughter's stepmother, and although we wouldn't see Julie as much as maybe other families do, I'd still be there.

"My family is disappointed I'm giving this place up," Ranger told me as we got off the elevator on the twelfth floor on his building half an hour later. "Several of them liked to come here as an escape from their spouses or kids, or have stayed here when they've been in town overnight. I told them they could buy it and use it like a time-share, but they're too cheap."

"Why did you decide to sell it?" I asked as we walked into the apartment. "Why not use it as a safe house?"

"Apartments don't make good safe houses—too many people see you coming in and can easily tell someone where you're staying. Besides, it's a chapter of my life that I want to close. It wasn't a particularly good time in my life when I lived here, but I've always held on to this place as a fall back. I don't need it anymore, so I'd rather be rid of it completely. I still have to pay fees, taxes and utilities even when I'm not here, so it isn't really cost-effective to keep it."

The building manager brought up boxes, bubble wrap and packing tape shortly after we arrived, telling us that when we were ready he could help us get boxes down to the car. Ranger proved surprisingly good at packing, using space much more efficiently than I did. We stopped packing for about an hour in order to get some dinner at the same diner where we had eaten breakfast over the summer. I ordered a taco salad with extra cheese and sour cream. Ranger had a salad with grilled chicken and light dressing. We had assessed each other's meal choices and shaken our heads in defeat. Our diets would likely never look the same.

Two hours later, we had finished packing up the kitchen supplies, towels and sheets, all of which were being donated. We were tired and planned to pack up Ranger's personal belongings in the morning. We ended up sleeping together on the couch, as we'd packed up the sheets and blankets from the bed. Ranger brought back breakfast early the next morning and we set to work to finish packing. It only took us an hour and a half to pack Ranger's personal belongings—something that made me sad considering it had taken us over three hours to pack the items being donated to the church—and we were packed into the Cayenne and on our way to his parents' house by ten on Saturday morning. I had felt a little emotional as we'd been leaving the apartment, knowing that we'd likely never be there again. Even though this had only been my third visit, I had grown to like the place and what it represented to Ranger. But I was happy that he now felt that his safe place and his home was with me, and that all of the things that were most important to him would now be under the same roof.


	29. Love Revolution

"We need to leave in ten minutes," Ranger said, coming in to the bedroom. "It's going to take us almost three hours to get there, and that's if traffic is light."

I was trying to finish packing for our weekend trip to New York for Julio's and Kevin's wedding. I had everything packed except for the dress I was going to wear to the ceremony.

"I can't figure out how to get my dress in my bag without creasing it," I said. "I should have bought a dress bag so that it could just lay flat."

"You can put it in with my suit," Ranger said, handing me a hanger. "My bags are in the car."

After putting the dress in the garment bag, getting Bob and his food loaded and doing one last check to make sure no appliances were left on, we piled into the Cayenne and headed to my parents' house. Despite having done well on an overnight alone, we didn't quite trust Bob enough to leave him alone for almost three whole days, so he was going to stay with my parents until we came back from the wedding on Sunday.

Ranger pulled up in front of my parents' house and I jumped out, grabbing Bob and his supply of food. As we walked up to the porch, I reminded him to be a good boy, not to ruin anything in anything in the house and to listen to his grandma, grandpa and great-grandma. He practically dragged me the rest of the way to the door as he started to smell the beginnings of dinner preparation.

"Thanks for watching Bob," I told my mother as we walked in the house. "He's been doing really well since he's been living with us and hasn't destroyed anything. But if you see him getting the shifty eye, just remind him that Ranger won't take him on runs if he chews up anything."

"He'll be fine. Be safe, and we'll see you on Sunday," she said, taking the bag of dog food. "What time do you think you'll be back?"

"It'll be evening," I said, reaching the door. "We're stopping in Newark for lunch with Ranger's family. They want to take every chance they can get to see Julie while she's with us. I'll call you when we're heading back to Trenton."

I bid everyone good-bye and hurried back to the car. Upon learning that Ranger and I would be at the wedding, Julie had started asking if she could come back with us and spend some time in Trenton, seeing as the only time she'd been here was when she was kidnapped. Ranger had told her she would need to ask her mother and father first, as he wouldn't even discuss it unless they gave their consent. Rachel had been nervous about the idea, but had listened to Julie and Ron when they reminded her that Ranger wouldn't let anything happen to her, and agreed to the trip. Ranger had asked me if I was okay with her staying with us, as she would likely spend a significant amount of time with me because of his work. He was planning to cut back some while she was in town, but he could only pass so much work off to Tank. I had agreed because not only was I looking forward to seeing Julie, but I could tell that Ranger was eager to have her spend time with us, even though he tried not to show it.

Traffic was heavy as we went through northern Jersey and into New York. It ended up taking us close to four hours to get to the resort, but we'd left ourselves plenty of time in order to get checked into our room and get changed for the dinner. The resort, called _The Stonebreaker_ , was an expansive place on top of a mountain. I'd checked out its website and found that the resort was set up for both families with children and adult couples. There was a section of the lodging that was for families with children under sixteen or people looking for cheaper accommodations and a section that was only for adults and children over sixteen, separated by the expansive lobby and gift shop. There was also an adults-only spa, a restaurant called _Riley's_ , a bar called _Shenanigans_ , and a building specifically designated for children of all ages. We checked in at the front desk, indicating that we were there for the wedding. We were given our room key, which was on the second floor of the adults-only portion of the resort, and a packet of information about both the resort and the arrangements for the wedding. Our room was one of the most basic rooms they offered, but it was incredibly nice and very spacious. There was a king-sized bed in the middle of the room, with a small seating area in front of a gas fire place, a small balcony, and a beautiful bathroom with an enormous Jacuzzi and separate shower. It seemed like the kind of place couples would go to on their honeymoon, not just a simple place to stay to attend someone else's wedding. I walked around the room and peaked out of the curtain, finding a spectacular mountain view. Ranger wasn't fazed by any of it, but started unpacking his bags and reading the information given to us by the concierge.

"The rehearsal starts at six, with dinner served in the restaurant at seven," he said.

I followed Ranger's lead and began unpacking my own bag, setting aside the black skirt and green blouse I was planning to wear. The clock on the wall said it was five o'clock, so I would need to start getting ready. I wanted to look nice when I met Rachel and Ron for the first time. I knew Ranger had a good relationship with both of them, and he had said they were eager to meet me, but I still wanted to make a good first impression.

By five-forty-five, the top half of my hair was pulled back in a clip and my make-up was done to the point that I looked good, but didn't look like I was trying too hard. My green blouse had sleeves that just covered my shoulders and bunched just below my breasts, presenting the nice illusion of cleavage without looking slutty, and my black skirt fell to a couple of inches above my knees.

"Are you ready to leave?" Ranger asked, coming in the bathroom. He was wearing a black dress shirt tucked into black dress pants.

"No gun?" I asked. He shook his head.

"Julie, Olivia and Tony will be there," he said. "It'll be one thing when Julie is at home with us, but I never keep my gun on me when I visit them in Miami, so I didn't plan on changing that while we're here."

"That's really sweet of you to be so conscientious around the kids," I said, giving him a kiss on the cheek before walking out of the bathroom.

"You really need to stop using that word to describe me," Ranger said, opening the door to the hallway and holding it for me. "People are going to hear you one day and think you've lost your mind."

We headed down to the first floor and across the lobby to the Great Room, which was where the wedding would take place. The Great Room had high ceilings with an elaborate chandelier in the center of the room. With the exception of a gorgeous stone hearth, the far wall was nothing but ten-foot windows overlooking the same view we had from our room. The carpet was a deep brown with intricate swirling lines in beige. There were ten rows of chairs on either side of a path that led to the fireplace, with six chairs on each side of the row. There were a few older people sitting down in the front rows, talking amongst themselves while several children ran around the room. Kevin and Julio were by the fireplace talking to a woman in a gray dress, and several other adults were standing in groups around the room, talking and laughing.

Ranger pulled me towards a corner in the back of the room, where a petite, blonde woman and a tall, skinny, brown-haired man stood talking and going over a list that the woman was holding. The woman looked up as we approached and her face broke into a smile. She touched the man on the arm and said something, making him look our way.

"Hey, I'm glad you made it," she said, walking over and hugging Ranger. "Julie's been looking out for you since four."

"We just got in about an hour ago," he replied, turning towards me and putting his hand on the small of my back. "Rachel, Ron, this is Stephanie."

Rachel was wearing a yellow wrap dress that showed off cleavage that I couldn't achieve on my best day. Her blonde hair was cut into a shaggy bob, and she wore three-inch silver heels, which still left her a few inches shorter than myself. She had high cheekbones, and her green eyes were framed by long dark lashes. Overall, Rachel Martine was hot.

"It's wonderful to finally meet you, Stephanie," Rachel said, shaking my hand.

"Likewise."

Ron also shook my hand. "It's great to meet you, Stephanie. We'd hoped to meet you when we were in Trenton a couple of years ago to pick up Julie, but we always seemed to miss you at the hospital."

I was about to reply when I heard Julie's voice behind us. "Finally!"

I turned around to see Julie walking towards us. She was wearing a purple dress with spaghetti straps, and looked like she'd grown a few inches since I'd seen her the last time. Her brown hair was pulled back in a ponytail and her skin tone, a couple of shades lighter than Ranger's, was a shade of light brown that couldn't be achieved by hours spent in the sun or a tanning bed. She had his intelligent brown eyes and dazzling smile, and I knew without a doubt that Ranger and Ron would have to tag team to beat the boys off during her teenage years. She surprised me as she threw her arms around me and pulled me into a hug.

"I'm so glad you're here, and I can't wait to go back to Trenton with you," she said excitedly.

"I'm happy to see you too," I replied, returning the hug. "You've grown a lot since I last saw you."

"Well, yeah. You haven't seen me in almost three years. Of course I'm taller," Julie said, rolling her eyes.

She moved onto Ranger and hugged him as well. I'd never actually seen the two of them interact, as Ranger had been shot when he got to Julie when she was kidnapped, and I'd never witnessed them together at the hospital afterwards. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her on the top of her head.

"Are you sure you really want to come to Trenton?" Ranger asked. "It's about one-fifth the size of Miami, and pretty boring."

Julie rolled her eyes again. "I remember. Besides, Stephanie and I will be hanging out and doing fun stuff while you work. She lives there, and she's awesome, so there must be something fun to do."

Poor Julie. I'd obviously never be telling her that most of the fun I had in Trenton involved getting her father naked, so I'd have to make sure to take her to plenty of things she would enjoy. I didn't want her to find out that I wasn't really awesome.

Over Ranger's shoulder, I saw Kevin and Julio making their way towards us. Both were wearing black dress pants, but Kevin's shirt was green while Julio's was gray.

"Has your ex-wife informed you of the nonsense she and your former mother-in-law have been up to in planning this ordeal?" Kevin asked, shaking Ranger's hand. "I no longer claim them as family."

"So I get stuck with them?" Ranger asked. "I was technically only part of the family for ten months."

"Your kid is family, so that's good enough to force you to claim them," Kevin said, ruffling Julie's hair. "But I'll still claim Jules."

Julie ducked out from under her uncle's hand, smoothing down her hair and smacking Kevin on the arm.

"Ha, ha," Rachel said sarcastically. "If my big brother is getting married, he's going to have a wedding. And since we knew neither of you would be planning anything, we took the initiative."

Julio put an arm around Kevin's shoulders. "Look on the bright side, if your family hadn't done it, mine would have. And it would have been twice as big, but not nearly as nice. So don't think even think about running, or I'll find you and drag you back."

"I may have to use that line for my wedding vows someday," Ranger asked, smirking at me. I gave him a pissy look, which made all of the men laugh. Rachel smacked him on the arm as she walked past.

"You're terrible. Excuse me, but I need to make sure we have dinner to eat after the rehearsal."

"So you are going to marry her someday?" Julie asked Ranger.

"Maybe," Ranger replied, putting his arm around my waist. "If she doesn't destroy any more of my cars."

"If that's the litmus test for marriage, then I can guarantee we'll never get married," I said, nudging him in the side.

Julie let out a disgusted sigh. "You two are impossible."

Rachel called for everyone to take a seat a few minutes later so that the rehearsal could start. Ranger and I took seats in the second row next to Julie. Ron was sitting in the row in front of us with his younger children, Olivia and Tony. Olivia was nine and Tony was six. They both had light brown hair and blue eyes, and were very thin like their dad.

The rehearsal took half an hour, and then we were all dismissed to the restaurant. There were about twenty-five people in the group, not counting Julio's newborn niece. The seven kids sat at a round table next to the rectangular one where the rest of us were sitting. I was seated between Rachel's grandmother, Penny, and Ranger. Penny was a nice woman around Grandma Mazur's age, but was very hard of hearing and talked very loud. I was fairly certain I'd have some hearing loss in my left ear by the end of the meal. Rachel and Ron were seated across from us.

"What plans do you have for Julie's time in Trenton?" Rachel asked.

"We're having dinner at my parents' house on Sunday on our way back to Trenton," Ranger said, cutting his grilled salmon. "And then we're going back on Saturday to spend the day. Other than that, Stephanie will have to answer."

"I figure we'll go to the beach at least a couple of times while she's there," I replied. "On Thursday, we are meeting Lola, Celia and Celia's daughter Katrina in Short Hills for lunch and shopping. I figure we'll wing it on the other days. Is there anything special she likes?"

"Julie would live at the beach if we'd let her," Rachel said. "She likes the quieter, less tourist-riddled beaches. Her favorite is Palm Grove, which is right by her grandparents' house."

Ranger and Ron chuckled, and Rachel shook her head. "I don't think I'll ever be able to tell her the truth."

"I don't follow," I said, taking a sip of my wine "What's so funny about that?"

"Julie was conceived on that beach," Ranger whispered in my ear, making me choke on my wine.

"Yeah, don't tell her that. You'll scar her for life," I said. "I was unfortunate enough to be informed a few years ago that I was named Stephanie because I was conceived while my parents were watching a movie with my mother's favorite actress, Stephanie Zimbalist. It was a similar situation for my sister, except they were watching re-runs of _The Mary Tyler Moore Show,_ so she ended up named after Valerie Harper."

Ranger, Rachel and Ron all laughed. "It's official—I'm never telling her," Rachel said. "I can't ruin her favorite beach for her."

After dinner, Rachel and Ron asked to meet us in the bar after they had the kids to bed so that they could get to know me more. Ranger and I went back to our room, where we changed out of our outfits into t-shirts and jeans.

"I can't seem to figure out your type," I told him as we changed. "Between myself, Diana and Rachel, there aren't really any similarities. Diana is black, Rachel and I are white. Diana and I both went to college, but Diana went on to law school, whereas I barely graduated with a bachelor's. Diana and Rachel are both petite and gorgeous, and I'm pretty average in looks and size. I have brown hair and blue eyes, and Rachel has blonde hair and green eyes. Do you even have a type?"

Ranger watched me for a moment, not saying anything but looking thoughtful. "I've been with women of various ethnicities, body types and backgrounds. If I have to identify a type that I'm drawn to it would be intelligent, petite, white brunettes. In general, I've pursued the women I found beautiful."

I shook my head. "I feel a bit like Sarah, Plain, Tall and Flat-chested in comparison to Rachel. I can see why you slept with her. I'd consider sleeping with her."

Ranger's lips twitched. "I don't think Ron or I would have any complaints if two wanted to give that a shot, as long as you let us supervise."

"She may not look as good as she did the last time you saw her naked, but I think she'll still look better than me."

"The last time I saw Rachel naked, she was eight months pregnant. She didn't look bad, but you look better," Ranger said, pulling on running shoes.

"You slept with her while she was pregnant?"

"We were married," Ranger said. "Pregnancy hormones got the best of her, so whenever I visited she wanted to have sex. She said that as long as she was going to be married to me, she was going to reap the benefits."

I could relate to that. I'd taken advantage of time with Ranger, especially during breaks in my relationship with Morelli.

Ranger's cell phone pinged with a text message forty-five minutes later, signaling for us to head down to the bar. _Shenanigans_ was not what I had expected it to be, given the name. It was a classy bar, looking more like somewhere businessmen would stop for a drink at the end of the day instead of a place where people would be breaking pool cues over each other's heads. Rachel, Ron, Julio and Kevin were seated in a corner booth at the back of the bar. The room was full of vacationers who were starting their night with beers, large glasses of wine and margaritas. Ranger held my hand as we weaved through the tables to the back corner. The booth was situated on three sides of a square table, and the section of booth that was against the wall and had the best view of the room was empty. Clearly this crowd knew Ranger well.

"What are you guys drinking tonight?" a server asked as we took our seats.

"Um, just a glass of white wine," I said. "My alcohol tolerance isn't that great."

"Try nonexistent," Ranger said, squeezing my knee. "I'll have a beer."

"Tell us how you two met," Rachel asked me once the server had taken everyone drink orders. "Ranger never tells us anything."

"We met because I'm pathetic as a bond enforcement agent," I replied. "The office manager, Connie, gave me his number to help me learn the ropes when I first started five years ago. We were the Henry Higgins and Eliza Doolittle of bond enforcement."

"I'm sure you weren't that bad," Rachel said kindly. Ranger and I both laughed.

"I've fallen in dumpsters, been soaked in red paint, had my eyebrows singed off, and have had more break-ins, fire bombs, death threats and destroyed cars than some countries have during wars. I don't always carry my gun, and when I do it generally isn't loaded. My stun gun is only charged about half the time, and I frequently have to substitute my pepper spray with hairspray. Overall, I'd call that pretty pathetic for someone chasing after criminals," I said, taking a deep breath after my long-winded confession.

"Is she serious?" Julio asked Ranger incredulously.

"Yes, and she forgot to mention that just a few days after meeting me, she had to call me in the middle of the night to come save her after one of her FTAs broke into her apartment, ambushed her while she was in the shower and ended up handcuffing her naked to her shower rod," he replied, smiling. "That was one of the best phone calls I've ever gotten after midnight."

"I'm officially in love with Stephanie Plum," Julio said as the server brought us our drinks. "Is it too late to swap out Kevin for her at the wedding tomorrow?"

Kevin turned his head slowly to look at Julio. "You're going back to being straight the night before you're supposed to be marrying a man?"

Julio put an arm around Kevin's shoulders. "Call it one last hurrah."

"If you can live through the ass-kicking Ranger will give you if you try to put the moves on his girl, then I'll give you my blessing," Kevin said, smirking.

I bless out a dramatic sigh. "Darn, Julio. We were _this_ close to being together at last," I said, holding my thumb and index finger half an inch apart.

"In the next life, honey," he replied, toasting me with his beer. "Ranger only gets dibs on you in one life at a time."

"One lifetime with her is all a man can manage," Ranger replied. "But she's worth it."

"That was romantic," Rachel said sarcastically. "How she managed to resist that charm for so long amazes me."

"Some people aren't as taken in by his _charm_ as you were," Kevin commented. "At least Stephanie waited more than one day after she met him before letting him see her naked."

Rachel, who was sitting next to her brother, smacked him on the back of the head. Julio and Ron had fought smiles while Ranger had rolled his eyes.

"But all's well that ends well," Kevin said, nudging his sister. "I decided not to kill Ranger for sexing you up on a beach, and I got my favorite niece as a result."

"You managed not to kill me because Kinsey was lacing your food with a tranquilizer," Ranger said. "So you can't really take any credit for not killing me for those first three weeks."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Kevin asked, looking shocked. He turned to look at Julio, who avoided his gaze. "Did you know about this?"

"Is this really the conversation we want to have the night before our wedding?" Julio asked, looking sheepish.

"If he weren't dead already, he would be now," Kevin said. "I can't believe he drugged me."

"Speaking of Julie," I said, bringing the group around to a better subject. "I hope you all have a plan for beating off the boys once she's in high school. It could turn out to be a full-time job."

"We've had this plan worked out for years," Ranger said, indicating himself and Ron.

"Background checks on all of the boys in her school will be the first step," Ron said. "Once we know she is starting to date a certain boy, Ranger and I'll invite him over for a nice talk about why he's interested in our daughter, and to lay out the expectations of what he will and will not do to her."

"Which means that, until both of you are dead, Julie will be a virgin whose romantic life consists of a series of great first dates with guys that will never call her again," I summarized.

"It's practically poetry when you say it like that," Ron joked, making all of the men chuckle.

I enjoyed the next hour of talking and laughing with everyone. Ranger's relationship with Rachel and Ron was beyond anything I could have ever imagined. Part of me wondered if things had always been this good, or if it had reached this level after Ranger rescued Julie. Around eleven o'clock, Rachel said she needed to go check on the kids. I volunteered to go with her, as I needed to stretch my legs and find the restroom.

"You guys have a great relationship," I commented as we exited the bar. "My ex-husband and I couldn't get along that well if we had people holding guns to our heads."

Rachel laughed. "Yes, we've managed to make our situation work. Not that I had ever planned to get pregnant at eighteen by a one-night stand, but I'm lucky that it was him. He immediately took responsibility and asked me how I wanted to handle the situation. He was really good to me during the time when we were married, and our divorce was the easiest in history," she said, pulling her key card out of her pocket. "He told me that he would let me be the one to make decisions regarding Julie, since he was in the Army and would likely be heading back to Jersey once he was out. I was young and still a bit immature, so I told him that I would call him if I wanted him to come around. I have some regrets with how I handled the situation when Julie was younger. Getting married to Ron has helped me have a better perspective on things. He really likes Ranger and has always pushed me to let him be more involved in her life. I always hesitated a little, until Julie was kidnapped. When Ranger worked to find her and then nearly died saving her, I knew Ron had been right. J ulie told me when we picked her up in Trenton that she wanted to see him more, and I agreed with her. He's always been so emotionally closed-off, it's been hard to tell how he felt about things, but since he's been coming around more often, I've realized that he must have wanted to be a bigger part of Julie's life than I had let him."

"Julie's lucky to have three parents who take such great care of her," I told Rachel after she checked on the kids. "I know Ranger told me in the past that he had kept himself emotionally distanced. I had always thought maybe he didn't want Julie to get hurt from getting too attached to him, since he said he was only as involved as you wanted him to be, but I think part of it was also to keep himself from getting hurt. I've watched him when he talks to her on the phone, and it has made me see how much he loves her. I know he's excited to have her come stay in Trenton, though he won't be obvious about it."

"I think you have had a lot to do with the changes I've seen in him," Rachel said. "Especially since the two of you started dating. He's more open and relaxed than I've ever seen him. Granted, he's still not what I would call _normal_ , but I think it's as close as he's ever going to get."

"We've been through a lot together, especially in the past year. It's changed us both for the better."

When we returned to the table, Ranger and Kevin were both gone.

"Ranger got a call from his office and said he was heading back to your room to manage it," Julio said, pushing a fresh glass of wine towards me. "Kevin said he had a headache and went back to our room. That or he's running away. He said something about _marrying the worst gay man ever tomorrow._ I'm not sure why he called me that."

"Probably because you said something about how unfair it was that Ranger always managed to get hot women like Rachel and Stephanie," Ron answered, putting his arm around Rachel. "I think hearing his future husband call his sister and his friend's girlfriend _hot_ was just too much for him."

"You think I'm hot?" Rachel and I asked simultaneously. Julio's face broke into a wide grin, and Ron gave Rachel a disbelieving look, who shrugged. "What? It's nice to be appreciated by someone who isn't obligated to think I'm hot."

"Just because I think a woman is hot doesn't mean I want to have sex with her," Julio told the group.

"Said no straight man ever," I replied. "Tell Kevin not to worry, you're still very much a gay man."

We all finished our drinks and left the bar. Julio and Kevin were staying in a room two doors down from Ranger and me, so we walked together across the resort.

"Are you nervous about getting married tomorrow?" I asked Julio.

He shook his head. "Nope, I've known for years that if I ever had the chance to marry Kevin that I wanted to take it. I was the one to ask him to marry me the day we turned in our retirement papers," he replied. "We had gone home and were talking about where we wanted to go after retirement. I said I'd only live someplace I could be married to him. He was stunned for a minute, but then he asked if that was my way of proposing. I said it was and asked if he was going to give me an answer, or stand around asking stupid questions all day."

"There's no way he could turn down such a romantic proposal," I joked.

"It surprised us both that I ended up being the one to do it," Julio said, stopping at a small seating group near the stairs. "Let's sit for a minute, and I'll tell you the love story of Julio Garcia and Kevin Hutchins."

"I was straight when our unit was formed," Julio said after we both sat down in cream-colored club chairs. "Always had been, and had no doubt I always would be. I could have any woman I wanted, and I always did. When I first met Kevin, I felt an immediate draw to him. He was serious and quiet, but had this biting wit that would come out from time to time that made me laugh. I tried to be his friend during the first couple of months after our unit was formed, but he treated me like shit and I couldn't figure out why. I was struggling with how I was feeling, but had told myself it was nothing. I kept telling myself I was straight, and Kevin likely was as well, so I suffered in silence. It was about four months after our unit was formed that Ranger got Rachel pregnant. Kevin and Ranger had been close up to that point, but after that they weren't. Kevin was isolating himself, which wasn't good in our type of work, so I forced my company on him. He resisted at first, but eventually started to tolerate me more. Unfortunately for me, the more time I spent with him, the more I became attracted to him," Julio said with a smile.

"He could tell something was bothering me, as I was becoming more distracted by the week. He and I were paired up a lot to go out on two-man jobs, as he wasn't speaking to Ranger, or Kinsey by association, unless he absolutely had to. About six months after Ranger and Rachel got married, Kevin and I had been on a surveillance job in Afghanistan when we'd nearly been caught. After we had left the area and headed towards the town where the rest of the unit was, he told me to talk to him about what was bothering me. He said we were going to get killed if I didn't get my head in the game. I wouldn't tell him at first. The Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy meant I would have been discharged if word got back to a higher-ranking officer, but eventually I told him what was going on, though I omitted the part about him being the man I was attracted to. He asked if the man I was talking about was gay, and if so why didn't I just say something to the guy. I had no idea what to say to that, so I just came out and told him that he was the guy. He had been driving, and I thought for a minute we'd be going off the road. He stopped the car, and I asked if he was going to report me, hit me or both."

I laughed at the image that came to mind. "I can't believe you just told him like that. He could have taken you both out before you ever got to know what he thought."

Julio laughed as well. "Not the best time, I realize, but I couldn't keep it in any longer. It had been weighing on me for almost a year. He just looked at me for a minute, before shaking his head and saying I should have been asking him whether or not he was gay. I nearly pissed myself when he went on to answer the question by saying that he was gay, that he'd been attracted to me since the first time we'd met, but that he'd kept himself distanced because he figured there would never be a chance. He told me that he knew this was hard on me, and that the ball was in my court as to what I wanted to do. After that I knew I wanted to be with him, but couldn't get up the nerve to tell him. I was finally able to two weeks later, once we were back at the base in Georgia. I went to his apartment that first night that we were back, and when he answered the door, I just blurted out that I wanted to be in a relationship with him. He told me that I didn't need to look like I was headed to the electric chair, and invited me in. He gave me a beer and told me to watch the Knicks' game with him until I was relaxed enough to actually talk. It took three beers and the entire game, but I eventually got there. I ended up spending the night, and we've been together since."

"Wow," I said, curling my legs up in my chair. "I can't imagine what that must have been like for both of you, especially when you couldn't be open about your relationship."

"It wasn't bad when we were in that unit together. Everyone figured it out pretty quickly, but no one minded. They'd been expecting it for a while. We were together for two years when Ranger and Kinsey decided to leave the Army when their tours were up. After that, the unit was disbanded and I was reassigned to a regiment that was based out of Fort Lewis in Washington. Kevin stayed in Georgia and was put in charge of a new unit that was similar to the one we had been in together. Over the next four years, we only saw each other fifteen days total. We talked on the phone every day that we could and emailed, but it was tough. Kevin was selected for a different unit that was based in California, so for about three months we were able to see each other more often. When his unit needed a specialist in computers, he recommended a man from his old unit, Julio Garcia. That's how we ended up being back in the same place together after four years apart, and it's how we spent the last six years of our army careers."

"That's amazing,' I said. "I'm even happier for you now than I already was."

"Glad we managed to catch you two before you eloped," came Kevin's voice. We turned to find him and Ranger standing a few feet behind us.

"After you called me the _worst gay man ever_ , I thought it was for the best," Julio joked, walking over to Kevin and giving him a brief kiss.

We all said goodnight and went to our respective rooms. Once we were safety ensconced in our hotel room, Ranger peeled me out of my clothes and pushed me towards the bed. As we made love, I thought about what it would be like to not be able to have him right next to me for four years. I couldn't fathom not waking up next to him every morning, smelling Bulgari Green every time I walked in the bathroom, or seeing his health food every time I opened the refrigerator. I started to cry as I tried to put myself in the position, appreciating how horrible it must have been for Julio and Kevin. It put things in perspective for me about my fear of getting married again, even more so than the fight with Ranger had.

"Babe, what's wrong?" Ranger asked as he stopped moving inside me. He brushed my hair back and wiped my tears with his thumbs.

I shook my head. "Talking to Julio about being separated from Kevin for four years really got to me. I tried to imagine that happening to us, and this is the result."

Ranger kissed me gently. "That won't happen to us. The only way I'm leaving you is when I'm dead. So if you get tired of me, you'll have to kill me in my sleep."

I let out a noise between a sob and a laugh. "Good to know, but I'll keep you around. We've got too many things to do before we get to the point that we start wanting to kill each other."

"Such as?"

"Getting married," I said, running my hands up his chest and over his shoulders. "Julio told me he always knew if he had the chance to marry Kevin that he would take it. It's made me think about us, and that I have the opportunity to marry you anywhere I want, not just in certain countries. And I want to do it."

Ranger looked down at me for a minute before kissing me and starting to move again. His kiss was intense, and he pulled one of my legs up over his arm, allowing him thrust deeper into me. When we finished a few minutes later, he held my head in his hands and gave me a searching look.

"Are you sure about this?" he asked.

"Yes."


	30. 21 Questions

I opened my eyes on Saturday morning to see the sun gleaming in through the window. It promised to be a beautiful day for a wedding. I turned my head on my pillow to look over at Ranger, but his side of the bed was empty. I could hear the shower running, and a few seconds after I register the fact, the water was turned off. I climbed out of bed and grabbed the things I would need to start getting ready for the wedding. The clock said it was just after nine, and the wedding was scheduled for eleven. Plenty of time to get ready. I saw that Ranger had left the room service menu on my nightstand, having already marked his own order. I skimmed through it, settling on pancakes and a side of bacon. I called in our order and sat down on the edge of the bed, waiting for the bathroom to be free and running through the events of the previous night. I had told Ranger I was ready to marry him, so did that mean we were engaged? Or pre-engaged, if such a thing existed? If that was our engagement, then we would have to come up with a better story of a proposal, as I didn't think saying _I want to marry you_ during sex was a story that any of our family members would want to hear. The bathroom door startled me when it opened and Ranger came out with a towel wrapped around his waist.

"Good morning," he said, pulling me close as I stood and walked past him. He kissed me once on my left cheekbone, once under my left ear and once on the pulse point on my neck. The tenderness brought tears to my eyes.

"Good morning," I whispered in his ear, kissing it gently. I didn't want him to see me getting emotional first thing in the morning. I had little doubt I'd cry during the wedding, and he'd probably make fun of me for it. "Breakfast should be here soon."

He released me, and I went into the bathroom to shower, telling myself to keep it together. Something about telling him that I was ready to marry him had changed things between us. Maybe it was a new level of intimacy, or increased trust. Probably both. Half an hour later, I had showered, shaved my legs and dried my hair. I wrapped myself in the hotel bathrobe and walked back out into the room.

Ranger was pouring himself some coffee as I walked over to the little table in the sitting area. He poured some into my cup as I sat down.

"This looks wonderful," I said, admiring the fresh blueberries on top of my pancakes and the perfectly cooked bacon. "I could get used to this."

"We could have Ella start working for us," Ranger suggested. "Though I'm think my men would mutiny if they didn't have her cooking three times a day."

"For the sake of your business, I think you should keep her right where she is," I said, cutting into my pancakes. "Besides, I can't get used to being taken care of. I always felt bad whenever I'd stay at your apartment so I would help her do things to alleviate some of my guilt."

"It's not slave labor. She gets paid very well."

I shrugged. "No one in the Burg has a housekeeper. You do your own washing, cooking and cleaning, knowing you'll always fall short of Mrs. Morelli, but hoping to emulate her to the best of your ability."

"And you think the people in my neighborhood had housekeepers?" Ranger asked. "Not only did we not have housekeepers, but in most families the mothers don't have the option of being housewives because the men can't bring in enough income. My family didn't necessarily fall into that category, but Mom worked anyway. She said that for the sake of her children and her marriage, she needed to have that time to herself."

"Who can blame her?" I replied. "She had six kids, plus probably wanted to avoid your dad so that she didn't end up with any more."

"She had gone to nursing school and worked until she had Celia, but then went back to work part-time after Aurelia was born. She went to work full-time after I was released from the hospital as a baby. I think she needed the distraction."

"Oh yeah, I forgot you mentioned you had been born prematurely," I said. "How early were you? I was only a month."

"Eight weeks. My mom was in a car accident when she was pregnant and it sent her into preterm labor. They ended up delivering us by emergency Caesarean because my sister was in distress. I spent six weeks in the NICU, but Eva died just a few minutes after she was born."

I dropped my fork and stared open-mouthed at Ranger. "You had a twin sister that died? And you _never_ thought to tell me this?"

Ranger shrugged. "It's never been a big deal to me. I didn't know her, and it's not something I think about often. It's always been hard on my parents and my older siblings, who were able to remember what happened."

I shook my head. "One day we're going to play Twenty Questions and I'm going to ask you the top twenty questions I have at that time. There is still so much I don't know. And I probably don't even know all of the questions I should ask you."

"Just warn me when you plan to do it," Ranger said, finishing his food. "I'll probably need booze to get through it."

"Hilarious," I said, standing up. "I have to finish getting ready."

I grabbed my blue dress and silver high heels from the wardrobe and took them into the bathroom with me. I spent the next forty-five minutes doing my hair and make-up. The plus side of going to the wedding of two men was that you didn't have to worry about your hair or make-up outshining the bride's. Men were simple when it came to weddings.

I pulled on my dress and worked on the zipper, but couldn't get it more than half way up without breaking my arms. I stepped into my shoes and walked out into the bedroom.

"Can you finish zipping me up?" I asked Ranger, who was sitting on the love seat in his suit. He came around to the back and slowly pulled the zipper up.

"Normally I'm unzipping your dress," he said, kissing the back of my neck and putting his arms around my waist.

"No way. I've spent too much time on this look for you to mess it up. You can undo it all tonight."

"You're no fun," he said, releasing me. "But you look beautiful."

I smiled and kissed him. "Thank you. You look great yourself, but that's the norm for you."

"You always look great too, but you never believe it," Ranger said, taking my hand and guiding me towards the door.

I could hear classical music coming from the Great Room as we approached. The double doors were propped open and people were walking in. The right side of the aisle was clearly Julio's family, as nearly everyone was Latino. Kevin's family were on the left. I was just about to ask Ranger where we should sit when Julie came rushing up to us. She was wearing a red dress that had rhinestones along the neckline, and her brown hair was pulled back into a ponytail.

"I saved you seats," she said, indicating for us to follow her around the edge of the rows. She indicated two seats on the far end of the third row. "I know you don't like to sit with people behind you, but you can't see from those seats, so I got you these. I'm sitting right in front of you."

We thanked Julie and took our seats with Ranger taking the end seat. Rachel's and Kevin's parents were sitting in the front row, as was Ron and I presumed Rachel. The row in front of us was empty, save for Penny on the end seat by the aisle. The remaining people in our row were aunts and uncles, Ranger informed me.

Everyone found their seats within the next ten minutes, and Kevin and Julio walked down the center aisle together. The woman I'd seen them talking to the day before stood at the front of the room. She was the person that would be performing the ceremony.

"Thank you to all of the family and friends that have gathered here today," she said in a booming voice. "Julio and Kevin have come here to promise their lives, love and fidelity to one another until death parts them. Their relationship has faced more challenges than most experience, but they have not let these challenges divide them. Instead, they have made their love stronger."

I slid my left hand into Ranger's and squeezed. I was already starting to feel emotional, especially when I saw Julio and Kevin smile at each other, clearly in love and excited to be married. I started doing some of the deep breathing that I had done at Kinsey's funeral to keep myself together. I heard Ranger chuckle slightly.

"Weddings too?" he asked, his lips brushing my ear as he spoke. I nodded, and he kissed me right below my ear.

"The decision to get married is not one to be made lightly," the officiant continued. "Deciding to spend the rest of your life with someone requires a level of commitment and trust that cannot be understood unless you've experienced it firsthand."

I blew out a breath and fought more tears from the words that struck very close to home. Making the decision to tell Ranger that I was ready to marry him had been impulsive, but I had meant it. I was ready for that step with him. I trusted him implicitly, and knew that I wanted to spend every day of the rest of my life with him. I noticed that while he was holding my hand, he had started rubbing his thumb over my ring finger. I peeked at him out of my peripheral vision and saw that he wasn't watching the ceremony, but looking down at where he was rubbing my finger. He noticed me watching him and held my gaze for a moment. The expression on his face was tender as he brought my hand up to his lips, kissing my ring finger. Tears started to fall down my cheeks before I could stop them. Ranger smiled and shook his head.

"Pathetic," he whispered, wiping away the tears on my cheeks.

I was dying to know what he was thinking in that moment. I really wanted to know what my words had meant for us, especially when he'd asked me if I was sure about what I was saying. But it wasn't really a conversation we could have in the middle of a wedding. Thankfully I wasn't the only one crying. Rachel and her mother, Patricia, were both crying in the front row.

The wedding only took fifteen minutes in all, which was practically unheard of when the room was filled with a bunch of Catholics. Kevin and Julio walked down the aisle, greeting their loved ones as they exited the rows of seats. We followed Kevin's aunts and uncles to the aisle, where I hugged both men and congratulated them.

"You missed your shot, Stephanie," Julio said as I hugged him. "I'm taken now."

"I know. It was such a hard choice between you and Ranger, but he has a nicer car," I replied, moving on to Kevin.

"I expect to have to watch Ranger go through a wedding of his own soon," Kevin said. "If we had to do it, so should he."

Ranger shook hands with both men. "You're lucky you had Rachel planning your wedding. Between my family and Stephanie's I'm afraid to see what might happen."

I had to agree with that. The idea of the type of wedding my family would want to plan nearly made me break out in hives. We walked to the back of the room, where people were mingling until we were about to move onto the reception. It was being held in a separate room, but being catered by the restaurant that had hosted the rehearsal dinner.

"Weddings, funerals, and _O Holy Night_ all make you cry," Ranger said, putting his arm around my waist as we walked down the hall to the reception. "Anything else I should know about?"

"Seeing soldiers come home at the airport," I said. "And if there is ever a segment on television about a soldier surprising their family by coming home early or unexpectedly, then be prepared for full-blown sobbing."

"Duly noted."

After the meal had been served, the hotel manager announced there was going to be music and dancing. Since Julio and Kevin didn't dance, the floor was opened up to whomever wished to dance. The music was being played by the same group that had been playing in the Great Room prior to the wedding, though they had started swapping out instruments depending on the song, which were a mixture of jazz, Latin and brief classical pieces.

"Let's dance," I suggested to Ranger. The current song was an instrumental version of "The Way You Look Tonight". He stood up and took my hand, pulling me up. We walked out to the dance floor where at least a dozen couples were dancing. The reception was low-key and enjoyable. Rachel had done a great job of planning everything.

Ranger held my left hand against his chest and put his right arm my waist, pulling me close. He placed a soft kiss against my hairline as we started to dance. My mind was filled with questions, about Ranger, about us and our future.

"Babe, I can practically smell smoke," he said after a couple of minutes. "What are you thinking about?"

"Everything," I said. "I have some questions."

"Are you going to start your round of Twenty Questions while you've got me on the dance floor?" Ranger asked, jokingly.

"I might as well." Even though I didn't know exactly what all I was going to ask, I wasn't going to let such a moment of cooperation escape me. I quickly rifled through every question I'd ever had about him, hoping I could come up with enough to ask that would slowly work us up to the most serious questions I had.

He watched me for a minute, then blew out a sigh. "Go ahead. I'll just have to drink afterwards."

I rolled my eyes. "I'll start easy. Question one: why don't you go by your first name?"

"Ricardo is a family name from my father and grandfather. We all go by our middle names to make it easier on everyone."

"I'm surprised you were named after your dad, instead of Emilio."

"He was supposed to have my name, but my mom's brother died while she was pregnant with Emilio and Sofia, so they decided to name him after her brother instead," Ranger replied.

"Okay, question two: where did you live in Trenton before you moved into the apartment at Rangeman? Your address was just an empty lot," I asked, realizing that I'd never asked him that question before. Lula and I had done searches and even tried to follow him a couple of times until I'd stumbled across the Rangeman building one day when he had loaned me his truck.

"I had an apartment in Hamilton Township."

So much for a mystery, I thought. I hadn't considered that he might live in a nearby town, rather than in Trenton proper.

"Question three: what's your favorite kind of cake?"

Ranger shook his head and closed his eyes. "I'll never live that down, will I?"

"I'm asking the questions," I said, running my hand through his hair as we continued to dance.

"Red velvet," he responded in a quiet tone, as though I'd just asked him to confess to something heinous.

"Good choice," I replied, smiling up at him. "Question four: what's your favorite color other than black?"

"Christ, you're really going to ask me twenty questions, aren't you?"

I nodded. "You opened that can of worms."

"Blue."

"Is that just because of my eyes?" I asked, fluttering my lashes and making him grin.

"Not necessarily, though I've grown to appreciate the color more since I've known you."

I took a minute to search for another set of questions. I wanted to start getting more serious, but didn't want to push him too much. Opening up was still hard for Ranger, I knew that. But I also knew that he would keep his word and give me answers.

"Question five: what did you study at Rutgers?"

"Business."

I waited for him to elaborate, but he raised his eyebrows slightly. "If you want more details, you'll need to include them in your questions."

I nudged him with my body. "You're mean. Fine, question six: give me the details of losing your virginity, which includes how old you were, who it was with and where."

"That wasn't a question," Ranger said, fighting a smile. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"I was fifteen and it was with Angie Longoria in an empty Sunday school room at my Grandma Bella's church in Miami," he said.

I was stunned into silence for a moment. I'd done some ill-advised things in my day, but sex in a church wasn't one of them.

"Um, question seven," I said, regaining my composure. "What was your first job?"

"I was a lifeguard on Rocco Beach."

I could see Ranger as a lifeguard. I'd never seen him swim or even seen him in swimming shorts, but I could imagine a teenage Ranger sitting in a guard tower, checking out girls who probably 'lost' their bikini tops on a frequent basis.

"I like it. Eight: what's your favorite place in the world?"

"Costa Rica."

The music turned from a slow dance into a fast Latin number. "Let's go back to our room so I can change shoes," I said. "These heels are hurting my feet."

Ranger looked relieved, probably thinking I'd give up my line of questions. I hadn't been asking anything too deep, but that was about to change. We left the room and headed towards the staircase that led to our room.

"I've still got twelve questions to ask," I said as we reached the second floor. "Question nine: am I really listed under _Entertainment_ in your budget?"

"You used to be, but now you are under _Personal Protection_."

"Good to know. I didn't like being entertainment to you or your men," I said, unlocking our door with my key card.

Ranger grabbed my elbow as we walked through the door and turned me around to face him. "Stephanie, you weren't there because you were entertainment. I listed _entertainment_ instead of your name because I wanted to protect you. I didn't want someone with a grudge to figure out how important you were to me. I realized eventually that it didn't matter because people figured it out anyways, so I added you into the budget I have for my own protection."

"Oh," I said, feeling a little silly. I should have known that he didn't actually think of my bad luck as entertainment. But how else was I supposed to interpret it when he said I provided them with comic relief?

"Which family member are you closest to and why?" I asked, deciding to move on as I started digging through my duffle bag for the pair of flats I'd brought as back up to my heels.

"My Grandma Bella because she's the most like me. She seemed to understand me better than the rest of my family did when I was a teenager."

I had been surprised by that answer. I'd thought his mother would have been his answer, or most likely of all, he would have said he wasn't close to anyone.

"Okay, next question: what would you change about me if you could?" That question was getting more serious, which was where I wanted to go. I wanted to eventually find out where we were at in our relationship, but needed to save it for later. I was afraid I couldn't get all twenty questions in, and I'd be damned if I didn't ask every single one.

Ranger walked over to the seating area and sat down on the love seat. "I wish you would be more concerned about your personal safety. I'd spend a lot less money, and not worry about you so much."

"I do think about my safety," I argued. "It's just that the criminals don't."

"But you get yourself into situations that put you at significant risk," he replied. "Instead of leaving things alone, or asking for my help, you make yourself a vulnerable target. The moment that comes to mind the most is when you got kidnapped by Constantine Stiva. I thought you were surely dead before I was able to find you, and frankly, I could have landed in jail for some of the things I did in my effort to find you. Obviously none of that would have mattered if you were dead, and it would have been worth it to make sure you were alive."

I'd never thought of things that way, but he made a point. Ranger was willing to go to hell and back for me, and he generally had to go to those lengths because I couldn't leave things alone. I went over to the loveseat and sat down next to him, abandoning my search for my shoes.

"What if you didn't do this job? Is there something else you would do?"

"I don't know what I would do," he said, pushing a strand of hair behind my ear. "The longer I do it, the better I get at it. If I didn't do this, I wouldn't have met you. And you'd probably be dead by now."

All very true things that I didn't like to think about. Ranger had not only taught me how to do my job, but had saved me from my own stupidity more times that I could count.

"Not counting times with me, what is the best sex you've ever had?" I asked, going back to a lighter subject for the moment. We needed to get away from the bad deeds of Stephanie that had caused Ranger so much stress before we moved on to talking about our future. He seemed a little taken aback by the sudden change, but smiled a little before answering.

"Do you really want to know this, babe?"

"I wouldn't have asked if I didn't."

"It was with Diana," he admitted. "She taught me how to read a woman's body and to figure out what she needed during sex."

I wrinkled my nose at the thought. "I owe it to Diana that my sex life is spectacular?"

"Yes."

I blew out a sigh. That one had come back to bite me in the ass. I hadn't been expecting Diana.

"Do you have any sexual fantasies that you want to act out?"

"Babe, you are everything I want. I'm not into role-playing."

"I didn't think you would be, but sometimes you never know with people. What question am I up to?"

"Fourteen."

Of course he was keeping count. I had no doubt he wouldn't let me ask more than twenty questions.

"What is your biggest regret?"

"Sending you back to Morelli after we spent our first night together," Ranger said immediately. That hadn't been the answer I had thought I'd hear.

"Why didn't you ever fight for me?" I asked, stretching my legs out over Ranger's lap. "You kept me at arm's length for so long that I thought I'd never have a chance with you."

Ranger ran his hands over the lengths of my legs and was quiet for a minute before he answered. "I didn't think someone like me deserved someone as good as you. You deserve someone that doesn't have so many demons and secrets."

I felt my chest tighten at the realization that Ranger truly thought himself a bad person. He had his own moral code that he followed, but apparently he didn't think it made him a good person.

"What happened between you and Morelli after the incident in Hawaii? I never really talked about it with either of you, but you seemed to get back to normal with each other."

"I ran into him one day about a week after we got back to Trenton. We both knew we needed to clear the air, for your sake. He told me that he knew he could never ask you to stay away from me because you were in love with me, but asked me to keep my distance from you. I told him that the only way I'd be able to stay away from you was if I were dead, so unless he was prepared to kill me, he needed to accept that I'd always be there."

"I can't believe he just accepted that for an answer."

"He knew he didn't stand a chance of trying to kill me for a number of reasons."

I nodded. Morelli was a good cop, but he'd have never been able to kill Ranger. And he never would have been able to actually try, if for no other reason than he knew I would have never forgiven him for it.

"Let's move on to happier things," I said, putting an arm around his shoulders. "What do you consider the best decision you've ever made?"

"Happier things would be if you gave up on your questions and got naked."

"You agreed to this, so I'm going to ask my questions. Then you can get me naked."

"I didn't _agree_ to this; you dragged me into it."

"Quit bitching and answer my question. It's a good one."

Ranger sighed. "The best thing I've ever done is let Ron adopt Julie. She's been happy and he's been a great father to her. I couldn't have been there for her emotionally the way he has, and I think it would have hurt her. It wasn't an easy decision to come to, but I've never regretted it."

I tried to imagine how hard it must have been for him to let another man become father to his daughter. Julie wouldn't have been old enough to remember her life before Ron.

"What was it like when you held Julie for the first time?"

Ranger stared into space for a moment, recalling the memory. "It was overwhelming. She was this tiny person that looked like me. I'd just come back from a mission where I'd had to fight for my life and had killed three men. It was ironic that I could easily kill a grown man so brutally, yet hold my infant daughter a day later. I looked at her and knew that I would do anything for her. I never knew I could feel so much for another person. I was also terrified about what it would be like for her to have me for a father. I worried that I would damage her."

"You wouldn't have hurt her," I reassured him. "Even if you hadn't let Ron adopt her, I think he'd have still loved and treated her like she was his own, and you wouldn't have damaged her by being more involved in her life. You're a good man, and a good father. I hate that you think otherwise."

He stared at me for a moment and then leaned over and kissed me. It was tender kiss that told me he was thankful that I held him in better regard than he did.

"Do you want children with me?" I asked, caressing his cheek. A small smile played on his lips as he looked at me.

"I wouldn't mind having children with you, though if we never do I won't feel our life is any less great. I just want you to be happy. Whatever that looks like."

"I know you hate hearing this, but you are incredibly sweet."

Ranger snorted. "You have one more question, Plum. Make it a good one. Twenty is my absolute limit for the day. Actually, it's my limit for the month."

I searched my mind for exactly how to ask the question of whether or not we were engaged based on our conversation last night, but couldn't formulate it the right way. I didn't want him to think I was getting cold feet on the idea. But then it hit me, the question I should ask. It would answer everything I needed to know. And only required one word, which was Ranger's favorite way to answer a question.

"Okay, here is my last question," I said, edging even closer to him so that I was practically sitting in his lap. I still had an arm around his shoulders, and he had one arm around my waist and the other resting on my legs. I took a deep breath and looked him in the eye as I spoke.

"Will you marry me?"

Ranger's eyebrows rose an inch and his lips parted slightly. He clearly had not been expecting this question, though neither had I until ten seconds before I had asked it. He continued to watch me for a few seconds before seeming to find his voice to answer.

"Absolutely."

For the second time that day, I let tears fall down my cheeks. I leaned forward and kissed him, moving to straddle his lap. He pulled me close, deepening the kiss. I couldn't believe I had just proposed to Ranger. It was so unreal that I almost felt like I was watching us from outside of my body. He moved his hands up my back and started to unzip my dress. He pulled it off over my head, and moved his hands to my bare breasts. I started working on his tie and the buttons on his shirt, and he let go of me to shrug out of his jacket. He stood up and pulled me over to the bed, where he sat back down and tugged me back into his lap.

"I have a question of my own," he said, as I reached the last button on his shirt.

"What is it?"

"Top or bottom?" he asked, a smile playing on his lips.

I snorted. "What do you mean 'or'?"

That made Ranger laugh.

"That's my girl."


	31. All Dressed In Love

"How long have we been gone?"

Ranger looked at his watch. "Two and a half hours."

I snuggled into his chest and placed a small kiss on his collarbone. "Do you think people have noticed us missing?"

"Probably, and since no one has come looking for us I'd say they have a good idea as to why."

"We aren't very good wedding guests, skipping out on the reception to get engaged and have hot sex."

"If it's wrong, then I don't want to be right," Ranger said, kissing my head. "Speaking of which…"

He nudged me to move so that he could get out of bed, and walked over the wardrobe where he punched in a four-digit code into the small safe that was on a shelf inside. I knew Ranger had put his gun in there when we'd arrived at the resort.

"The idea of marrying me already makes you want to eat a bullet?"

"More the idea of marrying into your family."

Instead of his gun he pulled out a small black box, shut the safe and returned to bed, propping himself up on an elbow.

"This is yours."

I sat up in bed before taking the proffered box. I opened it slowly, savoring the moment, and my heart skipped a beat when I saw the ring. Two diamond-encrusted platinum bands twisted around each other, joining around a one-and-a-half carat princess cut diamond. The bands fused together into a single, smooth platinum band about three-quarters of the way around the ring.

"Wow," I finally managed to say, working hard not to cry again. "It's beautiful."

Ranger plucked the ring out of the box, grabbed my left hand and slid it onto my ring finger. Naturally, it was a perfect fit.

"It looks good on you," he said, admiring my hand. He lifted my hand to his lips, kissing my finger right above where my new ring rested.

"It's an amazing ring," I said, holding my hand up to see the ring from different angles. "But why did you have it with you? Were you going to ask me this weekend?"

Ranger shook his head. "My mom didn't believe me when I told her I'd bought you a ring, so I was going to show it to her tomorrow to prove her wrong. Now I can do one better."

After showing Ranger my appreciation, we finally got dressed in jeans and t-shirts and went back downstairs. The reception was over and no one we knew was anywhere around.

"Let's go for a walk," I suggested. "We have some time to kill before dinner, plus it will be a good alibi for where we've been this afternoon. No one needs to know that we've spent the last few hours in bed."

"And that is why I love you," Ranger said, putting an arm around my shoulders and guiding me towards the back of the resort.

We spent the next couple of hours walking along some hiking trails that went through a nearby forest and proceeded to the highest point of the mountain. It was beautiful and nice to spend time with Ranger doing something different, even if we had to stop a few times because I needed to rest while he remained unfazed. But in the spirit of having just gotten engaged and wishing to remain so, he didn't roll his eyes or give me looks that said I needed to exercise regularly. At one point I slipped while we were going up a steep part of the trail and rolled several feet downhill until I managed to stop myself. Ranger stopped laughing long enough to ask if I was hurt. I responded with a stiff middle finger.

It was five-forty-five by the time we got back to the resort and we immediately headed up to our room. My jeans were dirty and my t-shirt torn from my fall down the hill. Not to mention the state of my hair. We were just putting our key in the door lock when a nearby door opened, and Kevin and Julio walked out into the hall.

"Damn, Ranger," Kevin said, taking in my appearance. "We figured you were screwing her when you two left the reception without a word, but what _exactly_ did you do to her?"

"I _wish_ I could use that as the reason," I said, looking down at myself. "Unfortunately, this is the result of falling down a hill on the hiking trail while _he_ stood by laughing."

"There was nothing I could do without falling down the hill with you, and possibly hurting you more," Ranger replied, pulling a leaf out of my hair. I made a disgusted sigh and walked into our room.

I heard Ranger talking to the guys while I changed out of my jeans and t-shirt into a clean pair of jeans and a black shirt with a cowl neck, and swapped out my tennis shoes for black heeled boots. I went into the bathroom and tamed my hair into a new ponytail, wiped dirt off my face and freshened my make-up. I rejoined the guys in the hallway after ten minutes, who were saying good-bye to each other. Ranger and I had dinner in the bar that evening, while Julio and Kevin went to a restaurant in town with their parents, and Rachel and Ron took the kids to a nearby pizza place. We went back to our room and got prepared to leave the next morning. We would be checking out at nine so that we could be in Newark by lunchtime. Ranger suspected our good-byes would take a while, as this would be the first time Julie had been on an extended visit with him and the first trip Julie would have taken without her parents since her kidnapping.

Ranger's theory proved right the next morning. We checked out of our room at nine on the dot, but spent twenty minutes waiting in the lobby with Rachel, Ron and Julie.

"Mom, please," Julie said for the tenth time. "I'll be fine. They won't let anything happen to me."

"I know," Rachel said, trying not to sob. "I'm trying not to be so emotional, but I can't help myself."

The valet pulled Ranger's Cayenne around to the front door and we headed outside to start loading our luggage. Rachel had ahold of Julie's hand while Ron carried her suitcase.

"Rach, she'll be fine," Ron reassured his wife as he put the suitcase in the cargo area. "She has her cell phone, plus she'll be using Skype to talk to us every night. I don't think Ranger would have gone through the trouble of getting shot in order to save her just to turn around and lose her on a visit."

Rachel took a deep breath and hugged Julie for the fifth time. "I know. I trust you with our girl, and I know she'll have a great time. Just ignore me."

Julie hugged her parents good-bye, promised three times to text her mom when we made it to Trenton and to Skype with her at nine that evening. She got in the car ahead of Ranger and me, probably afraid that her mom would change her mind at the last minute and not let her go.

"You do really trust me to take care of her, right?" Ranger asked Rachel.

"Of course. I'm just really emotional right now. We haven't told the kids yet, but I'm eight weeks pregnant, so the tears are really out of my control," she replied.

"You're a mess when you're pregnant," Ranger commented. "Makes me glad to live so far away."

Ron turned his laugh into a cough, but still received an elbow to the gut from Rachel. "Just you wait until Stephanie gets pregnant one day. You may be in for a big surprise."

I made an exaggerated shiver. "Let's not think about that."

We said our good-byes, got in the car and pulled away. Once we were off the resort's property, Julie let out a small cheer.

"I was worried Mom might change her mind," she said, looking behind us to be sure her mother wasn't running after the Cayenne.

"This is hard for her, but she'll be fine," Ranger said. "Just be sure to call and Skype when you're supposed to."

"I know. Mom was glad you sent my birthday present early so that I could use it to talk to her while I was here," Julie said, pulling an iPad out of her tote bag.

"Julie got an iPad for her birthday?" I asked Ranger, turning around to look at the tablet. "Man, I wish I were turning thirteen."

"Do you want to see it?" Julie offered, handing me the tablet. I stretched my left arm back to take it from her, but pulled my hand back when she shrieked.

"What?!" I asked, pulling my feet up in the seat. "Is there a spider in the car? A snake?"

Julie grabbed my hand and pulled it towards her, half dragging me from my seat and nearly choking me on my seatbelt.

"Wha—You—you got engaged?! Why didn't you tell me?!" Julie asked, staring at my ring.

"Yes, we did," I replied, pulling my seatbelt off of my throat. "It was just yesterday. We didn't want to say anything because it was your uncles' day."

Julie sat stared at me open-mouthed for a moment, seeming unsure of what to say. "I'm speechless."

"Julie Martine is speechless? We need to write this moment down," Ranger said, smirking at Julie in the mirror. She responded by sticking her tongue out at him.

"When were you going to tell me?" she asked. "Were you even going to tell me if I didn't notice the ring?"

"You would have found out in a little while," Ranger replied. "We'll tell my family today while we are visiting."

"This is so cool," Julie said, smiling. "I'm so excited. You've got to have your wedding when I can be there, like Christmas break or Spring Break or summer. Or have it in Miami and then it won't matter when you have it."

"Who says we're having a wedding?" I asked. "We may decide to elope."

"I don't care if you elope, but I have to be there," Julie said, looking determined. "You can't marry my him without me."

I was impressed by how much authority Julie had managed to muster while saying that. Another inherited Manoso trait.

Julie spent the next two hours asking questions and making suggestions about the type of wedding we should have. Poor Ranger looked ready to drive the car into a lake at the idea of bridesmaids and floral arrangements.

It was noon when we pulled in the drive behind the Manosos' house. Based on the cars, everyone else seemed to be waiting for us. We made our way up the walk and Ranger opened the door, announcing our arrival.

"I know these people even less than I know my dad," Julie whispered to me as Lola hugged Ranger.

"They're great people," I replied. "I've only known them for about a year, but they're really nice."

Lola moved on to Julie, giving her a hug and telling her that she was so happy to be able to spend more time with her.

"Hi, dear," Lola said giving me a hug. "I'm glad I'll get to spent more time with you as well this week. I don't get to see you enough either."

"Me too."

Ranger and Julie had moved on through to the family room and I was about to follow them when I heard Celia gasp. I looked over to find her staring at my left hand.

"Is this what I think it is?" she asked, picking up my hand and examining the ring closely.

"It is."

Lola let out a cry and hugged me again. "Oh Stephanie, I'm so happy."

"It's about time my brother got his head out of his ass and asked you," Celia said. "How did he go about it? I can't see him as the 'get-down-on-one-knee' type."

"I've been the one dragging my feet on marriage," I informed the women. "My ex-husband cheated on me, and it left some scars. Carlos told me he'd bought me a ring back in December and was waiting for me to be ready. I actually ended up being the one to ask him yesterday. He happened to have the ring with him because he was going to show it to you, since he didn't think you believed he had actually bought one."

"That's adorable," Lucy chimed in, having come into the kitchen while I was talking. "Congratulations, and welcome to the madness— uh, the family."

The news of our engagement spread like wildfire through the house, and all of the women admired my ring, complimenting Ranger on his good taste. They started asking when we'd get married and where we would have the wedding, which started making my eye twitch. Ranger noticed and told everyone that once we knew something we would tell them, which put an end to the subject.

Julie and Katrina, Celia's daughter, were fast friends, exchanging phone numbers and Skype names, making plans for our shopping trip on Thursday and hoping that Celia would let Katrina come down to Trenton one day while Julie was in town.

"I'm taking Julie to Point Pleasant on Wednesday," I told Celia. "If you and Katrina are free, you're welcome to join us. I know they are dying to spend more time together."

"That sounds great," Celia said. "I could use a day at the beach, plus it won't be as busy mid-week. Maybe we could also consider letting Julie come back home with us to spend the night and then you'd bring her back with you after we go shopping on Thursday."

"That kind of decision is above my pay grade. Carlos will have to be the one to give the okay on that."

"What do I have to do?" Ranger asked, sitting down next to me and putting an arm around my shoulders.

"I'm fine with her doing it," Ranger said after Celia outlined her idea. "But I want Rachel to be the one to make that call. I don't want to piss her off by letting Julie spend the night away from me. She's had a hard time letting Julie come so far away without her."

Celia nodded. "I can understand that. I can't imagine what I'd do if one of my kids had ever been kidnapped."

After an amazing lunch of roasted chicken, rice and seasoned vegetables, Lucy and Emilio started talking about plans for the twins' christening. It was scheduled for the first Sunday in July at the local Catholic church.

"Have you chosen the godparents yet?" Lola asked, passing the bowl of rice pudding around the table.

"We have, but we haven't asked them yet," Lucy said with a smile. She was sitting next to Emilio and across from Ranger and me. "Carlos, Stephanie—we would like you to be Layla's and Liam's godparents."

Everyone else around the table seemed thrilled with the idea, but Ranger and I sat staring at Lucy and Emilio with looks of disbelief.

"You want _us_ to be responsible for your children if you die?" I finally asked after I found my voice.

"Yes, you guys would be perfect," Lucy said.

Ranger let out a small, ironic laugh. He clearly thought we were as poorly qualified for the job as I did.

"But they hate me? Remember when you brought them to the house to visit? They cried when I held them."

Lucy waved her hand. "They're babies, Stephanie. They'll love you as they get older. And frankly, what are the chances that something will happen to both of us?"

I looked at Ranger, who shrugged. "It's their risk. After all, we can always send them off to boarding school or hire Swiss nannies."

"Damn, will you be _my_ godfather?" Emilio asked. "I wouldn't mind a Swiss nanny."

Lucy smacked Emilio on the arm before turning back to us. "Seriously, though. Will you do it?"

"Yes, we will," Ranger replied. "But don't say we didn't warn you."

We left Newark around five o'clock, intending to stop at my parents' house to pick up Bob on the way. Julie and Katrina had been excited at the idea of a sleepover, but Julie had been dismayed when Ranger had insisted she clear it with her mother.

"Why can't you just say it's okay?" Julie whined. "You know she's going to say no."

"You know how hard it was for her to let you come up here," Ranger replied as he drove down the Turnpike. "But she agreed because she knew you'd be fine if you were with me. If they were in Trenton, it wouldn't matter, but Newark is almost an hour away. I don't know if your mom would be comfortable with that."

Julie groaned, but pulled out her phone and started texting her mother as we headed back to Trenton. I was starting to feel a little overwhelmed at the idea of telling my family about getting engaged. Not that I didn't want to tell them, but telling both Ranger's family and my family in the same day seemed like a lot, especially since my mom and grandma would be asking about wedding details. We were just about to the city limits when Ranger's cell phone rang. He answered it through the hands-free technology.

"We've got a problem," Tank said. "Lou went out on an alarm call earlier to a house in Hamilton Township, and when he got there it turned out to be a false alarm. The wife answered the door in lingerie and he ended up fucking her on the foyer floor."

Julie had been taking a drink of her bottled water and nearly spit it out after hearing Tank. Ranger shook his head.

"You're on speaker and my daughter is in the car. Tone it down a little," he said.

"Sorry, boss. Anyway, the husband came home and caught them and threatened to cut Lou's—well, you know — off. Lou had to make a run for it, and the husband called the office as soon as he left."

Ranger looked disgusted with the whole ordeal. "Where is Lou now?"

"I have him sitting in a conference room until I talked to you."

"I'll be there in ten minutes," Ranger said and he disconnected the phone.

"Is Lou a new guy?" I asked. "I don't recognize the name."

"I just hired him a month ago. He came from the NYPD in Brooklyn. He thinks he's God's gift to women."

"What an idiot," I replied. "You are the obvious contender for God's gift to women, but I guess since you're off the market, someone else needs to fill the role."

"Gross," Julie muttered.

Ranger drove through Trenton to Haywood Street, where he pulled to a stop in front of his office.

"We can wait for you," I told Ranger. "Julie could meet Ella while we wait."

"Not necessary. I'll have someone drive me home after I fire Lou," he said as he opened his door. "You go ahead to your parents' house to get Bob, and I'll meet you at home."

I got behind the wheel and drove the ten minutes to my parents' house, where Grandma Mazur was standing and waiting for us.

I called out a greeting to everyone as we walked inside and Bob rushed up to greet us. He knocked Julie on her ass, trying to lick her face. I pulled Bob off and helped her stand up.

"This is Julie," I introducing her to my parents and Grandma. Julie waved and smiled, but then nudged me with her elbow.

"What?" I asked her.

"Don't you have something to show them?" she whispered excitedly.

"Oh, yeah," I said nonchalantly as I held out my hand. "This is my new engagement ring."

My mother and grandmother both shrieked with joy and rushed over to see my ring. My father's attention was torn from the television show he was watching. "What?"

"It's a pip of a ring," Grandma said, holding my up to be in better light.

"I'm so happy you're finally engaged," my mother said, wiping her eyes. "Where is Carlos? Why isn't he here to tell us the good news?"

"He had to go to the office for an issue on the way back into town," I said. "He'll be home later."

"It couldn't have waited ten minutes so that you could have told us you were engaged together?"

Not that I was going to let her know it, but my mother had a point. I suspected that Ranger had gone to his office specifically for this very reason. That sneaky bastard. Lou may not have even slept with a client's wife. There may not even be a Lou at Rangeman.

We collected Bob, promised to stop by soon and headed home before I could be bombarded with questions about wedding plans. On the way to the house, I called Rangeman and was connected to Hal.

"How's the situation?" I asked.

"What situation?" Hal asked, sounding confused.

"The situation with Lou," I said. "Ranger had said he had to come in for something to do with Lou."

"I don't know," Hal replied. "I just know he's in the building. Do you want me to connect you?"

"Not necessary," I said and disconnected.

"You think Dad went into the office just so he didn't have to go to your parents' house?" Julie asked.

"I think it's possible," I said, dialing Lula. "I know another way we can find out."

"Is Tank at home?" I asked when Lula answered the phone.

"Yeah, why?"

"Do you know if he talked to Ranger earlier in the day?"

"I don't know," Lula said. "I don't keep track of that kind of stuff. I can go check his phone though. He's in the shower."

"Please do," I said. "Check text messages."

I waited a couple of minutes while Lula checked out Tank's phone. "I see a message from Ranger that says _Call me with an emergency when you see my car reach the city limits_. I take it that's what you wanted to find out?"

"Yep," I said. "Send Ranger a message from Tank's phone that says _Stephanie says you can sleep on the couch tonight_."

"You must be mad," Lula said. "There's no way I'd kick that man to the couch."

I wasn't really mad, but I was annoyed that he'd bail on going with me to my parents' house just because he didn't want to have to face my family when I told them we were engaged. They had been much less obnoxious than I'd expected.

"Just send it. Thanks."

Julie and I got home, unloaded Bob and all of the bags and went inside to get settled. I had purchased a loveseat with a fold-out bed and put it in the office in preparation for Julie's visit. We took her suitcase and tote upstairs and she immediately set to plugging her iPad and cell phone into the wall. I took Ranger's and my bags into our bedroom and started unpacking them, sorting out the dirty clothes to wash. I changed into a t-shirt and shorts and took the clothes downstairs to the laundry room. I put a frozen chicken casserole in the oven after I started the washer and was working on a salad when the front door opened and Ranger walked in.

"How was your _emergency_?" I asked sarcastically.

"It's resolved," Ranger replied. "I fired Lou and offered six months of service at no cost to the account. Why am I sleeping on the couch tonight?"

"Because you told Tank to call you with an emergency when we got to Trenton," I said. "You didn't want to go to my parents' house."

Ranger watched me a beat as he put the pieces together. "Lula went through his phone."

"The intention of him calling me with an emergency was so that we could get out of your parents' house quickly," Ranger said. "I was afraid we'd be trapped there discussing wedding plans for a couple of hours. I hadn't expected something of this magnitude and I felt I needed to handle it right away."

I gave him a skeptical look as I added shredded carrots and croutons to the salad. He came up behind me, put his hands on my hips and brushed a kiss along my neck.

"Do you really want me to sleep on the couch?"

I leaned up against him as he ran a hand up my shirt and cupped my breast, and I stifled a moan.

"I guess I can forgive this, since your intentions were good," I said as he placed more kisses along my neck and circled one of my nipples with his index finger. He pulled away suddenly, and it took me a second to register the sound of Julie's footsteps on the stairs.

"Have you begged for forgiveness?" Julie asked as she opened the refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of water.

"No," Ranger replied. "She can't stay mad. I'm too cute to be mad at for long."

Julie laughed. "I said the same thing to Mom a while back. It got me grounded for three days."

We ate dinner and cleaned up the kitchen, talking to Julie about how school was going. I learned that she went to a Spanish Immersion school, which meant that the entire curriculum was taught in Spanish. The students learned Spanish while also learning the various subjects. It sounded incredibly complicated, but I had to admit I was a little jealous. I had taken two years of French in high school, but had forgotten all of it by the time I entered college.

Julie headed upstairs to get on Skype with her mother and Ranger was settling down at the dining room table with my laptop when my cell phone rang. It was Lula.

"I'm gonna kick your sorry ass all the way to Camden," Lula said, sounded royally pissed off. "You call me up to spy on my boyfriend's text messages with your boyfriend, and you can't be bothered to tell me that your boyfriend is now your fiancé? Is that anyway to treat your best friend?"

Her voice was loud enough that I had to hold the phone away from my ear, and I saw Ranger's lips twitch. He could hear Lula.

"I thought I'd just wait and tell you and Connie together in the morning," I said. "I didn't know that Tank was going to be told."

"Ranger told him. I can't believe Ranger told Tank before you told me. That's unforgivable."

I couldn't believe Ranger had told Tank either. It seemed unlike him to share information like that.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what else I can say."

"I expect to be a bridesmaid in your wedding," Lula said. "And I'm picking my own dress."

"I don't even know if we'll have a wedding."

Lula let out a disgusted sigh and hung up.

"I can't believe you told Tank we got engaged," I said, turning on Ranger. "He told Lula and she's pissed that I hadn't told her yet."

"I wasn't aware it was a secret."

"I mean that it's unlike you to share personal information. You're so private."

"Getting married isn't something that tends to stay private," Ranger said. "Especially when your family knows."

As if on cue, my phone rang again and the display told me it was Connie.

"Are you really engaged?" she asked.

"Yep. Did Lula call you?"

"No, I heard it Mary Jo Barnes. She said your mother called her mother."

"I was going to tell you in the morning, I promise."

"I believe you," Connie said. "But I still expect penance since I had to hear it from Mary Jo."

"What is the equivalent of sleeping on the couch in female friendships?" Ranger asked with a satisfied smirk.

"That I buy the donuts and coffee," I replied. "And since Connie's family is mob, the coffee will be from Starbucks."


	32. Pocketful of Sunshine

Monday morning, after a stop at Starbucks and Tasty Pastry, Julie and I sauntered into the bond's office. Lula and Connie were already there and waiting for us.

"I still can't believe you weren't going to tell us this weekend," Lula said as she ate a Boston Crème.

"I can only apologize so many times," I said, selecting a jelly doughnut. "I was going to tell you today."

"I forgive you," Connie said as she took a sip of her coffee. "This latte is delicious."

"Have you set a date yet?" Lula asked. I shook my head.

"We haven't even come close to figuring that out yet," I replied. "We haven't even discussed whether we want to have a wedding or to just go to city hall and get married."

"But I have to be there," Julie chimed in.

"Me too," said Lula and Connie in unison.

"Too many people at city hall would make it a wedding," I said.

"I'm your best friend," Lula said. "I definitely need to be there."

"I introduced her to Ranger," Connie retorted. "They have me to thank for the fact that they even know each other."

"I'm his daughter," Julie said. "That beats both of you."

I groaned and slumped in my chair. This was just the beginning of what was likely to be a long discussion from family and friends about a wedding. It made me want to call Ranger up and suggest meeting at city hall in an hour.

"What have you got for me?" I asked Connie, hoping to move us onto a new subject. I hoped there weren't too many skips this week so that I didn't have to take time away from Julie and our plans. If they were easy, non-violent skips I would take her with me. Otherwise, she'd have to go to my parents' house or to hang out with Ranger at the office.

"I have three for you," she replied, handing me files. "I also have a little novelty gift that I picked up for you when I was in Atlantic City this weekend for my friend Joan's bachelorette party."

Connie opened her purse and handed me a rectangular blue placard that was clearly made to hang on a door knob. It read:

 _DO NOT DISTURB._

 _I'VE TAKEN A(N):_

 _(1) Ambien_

 _(2) Tylenol PM_

 _(3) Lover named Ricardo._

The bubble next to the third option was filled in with lipstick. I burst out laughing.

Julie leaned over to read the sign and grimaced. "That's gross."

"You only think that because he's your dad," Lula said. "If he weren't your dad, you'd find him as fine as the rest of us do."

I put the card in my tote bag and flipped through my FTA files. One armed robbery, one domestic violence and one possession with intent to sell. I didn't feel comfortable with Julie being present for any of them, so I'd do some phone work first, then track them down without her.

"Is there anything you want to do today, Julie?" I asked.

"Aren't we going to catch the people in your files?"

I shook my head. "No, they all sound like they could be dangerous, so I'll go after them sometime when you're with Ranger or I could take you to my parents' house."

Julie let out a disgruntled huff of air. "That's no fun. I wanted to ride along."

"Why not let her go?" Lula asked. "She's a mini-Ranger. Remember when she shot that guy that kidnapped you two? Or she can just sit in the car and watch us look like idiots."

" _NO,"_ I stressed. "I don't think Julie's mom would want her to see that kind of stuff, plus I like being engaged to Ranger and don't want to jeopardize that by possibly getting Julie hurt. We aren't talking about little old ladies who shoplifted tuna to feed their cat. Two are charged with violent crimes."

Lula and Julie started to argue, but I held up a hand. Take control. Speak with authority. Become Ranger.

"That's final. We can go to Rangeman and I can do some quick searches on my FTAs, then you can stay there with Ranger or Ella while I see if I can make any headway on my cases," I told Julie. "Unless you have something else you'd rather do today."

"I was hoping to go to the beach, but I don't think that'll happen," Julie said, looking out the window. Dark clouds had been looming over Trenton all morning and the news had predicted storms for much of the day.

Julie and I left a few minutes later and headed to Rangeman. I let us into the underground garage and parked in one of Ranger's personal spaces. We took the elevator to the fifth floor and walked across the control floor to Ranger's office. He was wearing a suit today, which meant that he'd had client meetings, but the cashmere jacket was draped across the back of his desk chair. He looked up when I knocked on the doorjamb.

"I have three FTAs I need to track down. I wanted to see if I could run them through your programs, and also to see if you wanted Julie to hang out here or I can take her to my parents' house," I said as Julie walked around me and into the office. "They aren't exactly good role models."

"Use whatever programs you need," Ranger said, pushing back from his desk and standing up. "Let's go up to the seventh floor and you can do your thing. Julie can stay up there after you leave, and I'll make sure Ella feeds her lunch."

An hour later, I rolled out of the Rangeman garage armed with extensive background checks on my three FTAs. I stopped by the office to pick up Lula and we headed out after the guy charged with armed robbery. It had started raining as we'd driven to his house and by the time we dragged the third FTA into the municipal building six hours later, we were soaked and grouchy. I dropped Lula off at the office to get her car, picked up my checks from Connie, and called Ranger.

"Are you guys still at Rangeman?"

"I'm planning to leave in a half hour. Where are you?"

"Just finished up my last case. I'm soaked to the bone, and not in any mood to cook. I was thinking you guys could stop by _Pino's_ on the way home to get dinner. Just get whatever kind of pizza Julie likes. I need to go home to take a hot shower and put on some dry clothes."

Ranger and Julie arrived at the house with the pizza just as I was coming downstairs. I was freshly showered and wearing sweats and a long-sleeved t-shirt. The smell of onions, jalapeños, and spicy sausage wafted over to me from the pizza box on the counter.

"Did you get your people?" Julie asked as we sat down to dinner.

"Yes, thankfully," I said, pulling out plates for us. "Otherwise, I'd have been soaked for no reason."

Dinner with Julie around was a much livelier affair than when it was just Ranger and me. She told us about talking with her friends in Miami over Skype, spending time with Ella and the different apps she'd found for her iPad.

"When are you guys going to get married?" she finally asked. "You really need to set a date."

"We just got engaged," Ranger said. "Why the rush?"

"Because you need time to plan your wedding. People need to be able to know to save the date and where the wedding will be. You have to reserve the church, find a priest, order the dress and pick bridesmaids. Especially if one of them lives far way, like in Florida."

Ranger looked torn between rolling his eyes and laughing. Instead, he gave a small head shake and reached for a second piece of pizza.

"I did the big wedding thing in my first marriage," I told Julie. "My parents hadn't even paid everything off before I was filing for divorce. It was a headache to plan and only ended in heartache."

"I don't think that was the wedding's fault."

I blew out a sigh. I was getting nowhere with this conversation. Julie Martine had her father's stubbornness and determination.

"As I told my family," Ranger replied. "Once we have it figured out, we will tell you."

After we had all gone to our bedrooms that night, I brought up the topic of marriage plans.

"What do you want to do?" I asked as Ranger stripped out of cargo pants. "We aren't going to hear the end of it from anyone until we've given them a date and start talking about ideas."

"Babe, it doesn't matter to me how we do it," he replied. "I'd rather not have a large, elaborate wedding, but I don't mind having a wedding if you want one. I wouldn't mind getting married at city hall either. We can do it next week or next year—I just want to be married to you at some point in my life."

"I don't know what I want to do," I said as I climbed into bed. "I know our families are going to want us to have a wedding, but I don't know that I want one. It's so much stress and planning for just a couple of hours."

"Don't feel pressured to do anything quickly," he told me as he climbed in next to me. "We don't have to rush."

The next couple of days passed in a blur of activity. On Tuesday, Julie told me she wanted to go to an indoor rock climbing facility in Trenton. We went for the day and learned how to climb mountains and rappel down them. By the end of the day, Julie was a pro and I was nearly comatose. It made me realize the difference in energy levels between a twelve year-old and a thirty-three-year old. Katrina and Celia met us in Point Pleasant on Wednesday and we spent the day prowling the boardwalk and hanging out on the beach. Rachel had agreed to allow Julie stay at Celia's house overnight, which had both thrilled and surprised Julie and had allowed Ranger and me to have our normal date night to ourselves.

As I was preparing to leave on Thursday morning, I found an envelope waiting for me in front of the coffee maker. Inside was a platinum American Express card in my name and a note from Ranger.

 _Yours to keep. Get Julie whatever she wants today._

I immediately called Ranger. "Did you apply for a credit card for me?"

"I added you onto my account."

"Why would you do that?"

"Because I can."

"But you have a lot more money than I do. I don't want to be tempted to spend too much. What's the limit on this card anyway?"

"Babe, you can spend as much as you want. My money is your money." And he hung up.

As I drove up Route 1 to Short Hills Mall, I thought about Ranger's words. He said his money was my money, but the idea made me uncomfortable. I had no clue as to what Ranger's net worth might be, but I knew it was astronomically more than mine. I'd been in a better place financially over the past year, managing to pay all of my bills and have a little money left over at the end of the month, but I hadn't yet achieved the point of having a savings account with actual money in it or a retirement fund. Money hadn't been an issue in the six months we'd been living together. Ranger had started sending the utilities to his accountant after he moved in, saying he could afford to pay them and wouldn't hear any argument. He would either stop for groceries from time to time or else leave his card for me on the counter when the fridge started to run low. What we had worked because we had our own money and our own responsibilities. But telling me that his money was my money blurred those lines. It made me really think about the differences in our financial positions and what that could mean for married life. Would I need to sign a pre-nuptial agreement? I wouldn't mind doing so, but something about the idea still stung a little. I knew it was a smart move to make when you own a business and have plenty of money in the bank, but it reeked of distrust. Not that I would tell Ranger that if he asked me to sign one.

Our shopping trip was especially fun because the mall had some of the high-end stores that I couldn't visit at Quaker Bridge. I told Julie that Ranger had said to buy her whatever she wanted, and she took it to heart. My Jeep was laden with shopping bags by the time we bid Lola, Celia and Katrina good-bye. I estimated that Julie had managed to spend fifteen-hundred dollars. She hadn't been entirely selfish though, buying gifts for her parents, brother and sister as well. I hadn't been able to bring myself to buy anything with the new credit card, and had used my own money to buy some lip gloss at Clinique.

Ranger was feeding Bob as Julie and I walked in the back door that evening. Bob was torn between greeting us and eating, and kept running back and forth in debate.

"Thanks for letting me get all of this," Julie told Ranger, holding up her bags. "That mall was amazing."

She headed upstairs with her bounty and I gave Ranger a kiss. "What do you want for dinner tonight?"

"Whatever you want," he replied. "What did you get at the mall?"

I pulled my lip gloss out of my purse and held it up for him.

"That's it? You have a credit card with a very high limit and you just buy lip gloss?"

"Actually, I used cash for the lip gloss," I replied. "I only used the card for Julie's stuff."

Ranger stared at me without blinking for a full thirty seconds. "What's the problem?"

"We haven't really talked about money, so I don't know what the expectations are. I don't feel comfortable spending your money because you've worked hard to build up your business and invest your money wisely. I don't mind signing a pre-nuptial agreement before we get married, but I feel like we need to have a preliminary talk about money before we get to that point."

"You're kidding right?" he asked, watching my expression closely. "You really think I'm going to have you sign a pre-nuptial agreement? What would make you think that?"

"It's what smart, wealthy people do. It's protection."

"Babe, the only protection we need is in the bedroom. We won't have a pre-nuptial agreement. It's insulting to you and our relationship to attach a contract to it. If we were to get divorced, I would give you whatever you wanted, but I don't expect that's going to happen. I've given you a credit card, and I am having my accountant add you to my bank account. We live together, have a dog, and are getting married. Joint accounts are just the next step."

The conversation ended when Julie walked in the room, asking about dinner and telling Ranger about what she bought at the mall. I still didn't feel comfortable using his money, but I could tell it was an issue where he wouldn't budge.

Saturday was spent in Newark with Ranger's family, relaxing and enjoying time spent with Julie at Sofia's house. She fit in with the family as though she saw them on a regular basis. Even though he hadn't said it, I knew Ranger had enjoyed having Julie stay with us, and I was sad to think she'd be heading home the next morning. As we were saying good-bye to everyone that evening, Lucy reminded us that the twins' christening would be at two o'clock the following Saturday, with lunch prior to the ceremony. I still couldn't believe Ranger and I were going to be godparents to his niece and nephew. I knew next to nothing about small children, so I sent up a quick prayer as we walked to the Jeep that God wouldn't let anything happen to Lucy and Emilio before their children were eighteen.

"Do you have everything?" I asked Julie as we started hauling her belongings out to the Jeep the next morning. "Did you remember the stuff you bought at the mall?"

"Yes, I've got everything," she replied. "I made a list the other day to make sure that I got it all, especially my chargers for my iPad and my cell phone."

I went into my bedroom where Ranger was putting his phone charger in his carry-on bag. He was flying with Julie back to Miami and would be spending the week at the Rangeman office. I would be picking him up at the airport on Friday afternoon.

"Julie's ready to go," I said, putting my arms around his waist. "I'm going to miss her."

"Me too," Ranger said as he zipped up his bag. "It's been nice having her here, even if she did nag us about a wedding the entire time."

" _I HEARD THAT!"_ came Julie's voice from the stairs.

"Thank you for letting me come here," Julie said as Ranger pulled the car up to the unloading zone at the Newark airport and we all got out of the car. "I had a lot of fun."

"I'm glad you came," I said as she came up to hug me. "It was nice to spend time together where we weren't being held against our will by a psycho."

"Now that I have my iPad we can Skype, and I'll text you, but please come down to Miami sometimes with Dad. The beaches are amazing."

"Will do," I replied as Ranger pulled me into him. "Have a safe flight, and I'll see _you_ on Friday."

"Yes, you will," he whispered, kissing me in the process. "And I'll give you a reason to hang that sign on the bedroom door."

Summertime is always a busy time for me as a bond enforcement agent. People commit more crimes in the hot weather as tempers run high and opportunities are presented via open bedroom and car windows. The previous week had been slow, which had been good because of Julie's visit, but I was making up for it while Ranger was in Miami. In the process of picking up fifteen FTAs, my Jeep was stolen by a car thief that I was trying to take back to jail. He managed to get three blocks before wrapping it around a telephone pole on Broad Street. Hal had showed up ten minutes after the police, leaving me Ranger's Cayenne and the keys.

When I picked Ranger up at the airport on Friday, he simply smiled and kissed me, saying he had just been thinking that it was time for me to lose another car when he got the call that my Jeep had been totaled. I groaned, hating how predictable my disasters had become, but those thoughts were immediately pushed away as Ranger started telling me about the _bedtime activities_ he had planned for us during his flight from Miami.

I woke up on Saturday morning with a bad feeling in my stomach. It felt like dread, but I couldn't figure out why. As crazy as the idea of being the godmother to infant twins was to me, I wasn't nervous about it. I was actually a little excited when I thought about it. I was honored that Emilio and Lucy were entrusting Ranger and me with their children, even though I'd be scared shitless if ever required to actually take care of them. I told myself it was going to be a great day. There was going to be a dinner at Esmerelda before the christening, and the food had been amazing the one time I'd eaten there.

"Is something wrong?"

I turned my head to look at Ranger, who was lying on his side and propped up on an elbow.

"Just a bad feeling about today," I said, sitting up and hugging my knees. "I'm not sure what it is."

"I'm having the same feeling," he replied. "I can't put my finger on what it might be, but my gut is telling me something doesn't seem right. It's probably just the idea of Lucy's family combining with mine for a period of time. The last time they were all together was when Emilio and Lucy got married seven years ago. At one point, Lucy's brothers got so drunk that they tried fight Emilio, Tony and me. We almost had to call the police."

"Maybe Lucy and Emilio should close the bar today."

"They are. Not even wine with dinner. Her brothers will have to beat up the priest to steal the Communion wine or go out and buy their own."

We left for Newark at eleven and arrived at the restaurant at noon to a swarm of Cuban- and Irish-Americans. Lucy's parents, Miles and Joan, were perfectly nice people, but her five brothers were loud, obnoxious oafs who had showed up to the restaurant already half in the bag. One of them, named Louis, kept trying to flirt with me. I had managed to politely ignore him for most of the meal, but by dessert Ranger had heard enough and told Louis in no uncertain terms that he was to stay away from me if he hoped to return home that night in one piece. We arrived at the church at two and the service began soon after. I had been to youngest two nieces' christenings, but had not been named a godparent. Probably because Valerie knew better than to leave her children's spiritual, and possibly physical, well-being up to me.

"I know you're worried about it," Lucy said as we all walked out of the sanctuary afterwards. "But you two will be terrific godparents."

"From your lips to God's ear," I told her. "No one's ever trusted me with the responsibility before."

"Are you two planning to come back to the house?" Lola asked as she caught up to us.

"I need to get back to the office for a while," Ranger said, putting his arm around my waist as he pulled his car keys out of his jacket pocket. "I didn't work as much the week Julie was here, and then I've been in Miami this past week."

"Well, it has been nice to see you three weekends in a row," Lola said, kissing Ranger on the cheek. "I'm going to have to come down to Trenton sometime to see your house. And hopefully meet Stephanie's family so we can start working on wedding plans."

"Mom," Ranger started, but Lola held up a hand.

"I know, Carlos. I'm not trying to pressure you two. You'll do what you want, when you want. I'm just hoping you won't leave us in suspense for years on end."

"Don't worry," he replied. "We won't wait _that_ long."

The parking lot was situated between the church and a neighboring five-story apartment building. It was isolated and only had one access to the lot, which meant that traffic in and out was a real bitch. Ranger had parked his Turbo towards the back of the lot. His parents' Camry was parked on one side and a silver BMW on the other. We were about twenty feet from the car when a woman got out of the BMW. It was Diana Hastings.

"Hello, Carlos," she said, and her voice was raspy. Her hair was pulled back in a disheveled ponytail, and she was wearing a dirty, blue hooded sweatshirt and jeans. There were dark circles under her eyes and her skin had a strange pallor to it. She looked like she hadn't slept in days, or was ill. Possibly both.

"What are you doing here?" Ranger asked, and I could tell by his expression and tone that he was both suspicious and concerned. He had noticed her unusual appearance too.

"I needed to talk to you one last time. I need you to know what I'm going through."

"What's wrong with you?"

Diana's expression was pained, but resigned. Her eyes travelled up and down Ranger's body, taking him in as though she were required to memorize him. In that moment, everything that she had been trying to do to us two months before didn't matter. There was something seriously wrong with woman standing before us. Gone was the ambitious lawyer who was going after her sexy, wealthy old flame, and in its place was a woman on the brink of sanity.

"I'm just following my mother's path," she said, smiling even though there were tears in her eyes. "Only I'm taking a shortcut."

I looked over at Ranger, who seemed to be realizing something. "You have it, don't you?"

Diana nodded slowly. "Yeah, but I can't just lay around and wait to die. It's happening fast, and I wanted you to be with me when I died. That's all I've wanted. I've wanted to spend my last few months with you. I wanted you to hold my hand when I died."

She reached into the pocket of her hooded sweatshirt and pulled out a silver Smith & Wesson. It looked like the first gun I owned back when I'd first gotten into bond enforcement. I felt Ranger tense up next to me, and I sucked in some air. Witnessing a suicide wasn't something I ever wanted to do. I'd talked a couple of people off ledges before, they hadn't really seemed too serious. Something in Diana's demeanor told me she was.

"You don't have to do it this way," Ranger said slowly. "Even if you don't want to suffer, you can end your life in a better way. If you want me to be there, I will be there. Don't do this here."

Diana gave another slow nod. "I could, but I don't think you'd be there. I want you with me when I die. But I want more than that. I want you to know how much pain you've caused me. You turned me away, you refused to love me when I needed you, and then you exposed my mistakes. I love you, Carlos Manoso, but I hate you too. I wish I didn't, but I do."

Everything started moving in slow motion as Diana lifted her gun and pointed it in our direction. I felt Ranger move next to me, reaching to the small of his back for his gun. Diana was close enough to us that she wasn't likely to miss her target, and I knew that Ranger wasn't likely going to be able to subdue her before she got off at least one round. Fear gripped me, and ice ran through my veins as I counted the shots coming from Diana's gun.

One.

Two.

Three.


	33. Both Sides Now

_**A/N: Ranger's POV again.**_

Blood stains flowered on the front of Diana's hooded sweatshirt, and a look of pained relief crossed her face as she fell to her knees and onto the cement. I lowered my gun and looked over at Stephanie, who was falling to the ground beside me. She had taken all three rounds to the chest and abdomen, and blood was soaking her blue dress. I dropped to my knees beside her and immediately applied pressure with one hand while trying to reach for my cell phone with the other.

"We've already called 911," my mother said as she rushed over to Stephanie's other side. "We heard Diana talking and called for help. Your father's still on the phone with them and told them we need an ambulance. Keep applying pressure."

Stephanie was semi-conscious, but wasn't trying to talk. Her raspy breathing made me think that a bullet had penetrated one of her lungs. She was looking at me with glassy eyes and she brought her left hand to rest on mine as I tried to keep her from bleeding out. Her engagement sparkled in the bright sunlight, contrasting against the darkness of her dress. The sound of sirens broke through my stupor as Stephanie's eyes closed and she lost consciousness.

"Carlos, move."

I could feel my father pulling at my arm as paramedics swarmed around Stephanie. I stood and took several steps backwards. There was a paramedic checking on Diana, but he shook his head at the nearest police officer, indicating that there was no pulse. I had fired two shots into Diana's chest, which would have undoubtedly killed her. I just hoped her shots wouldn't kill Stephanie.

The first ambulance left to take Stephanie to the hospital within minutes of arrival. The second waited for the coroner to arrive to pronounce Diana dead and order that she be taken to the morgue. My parents were each talking to a police officer, giving their respective statements. Another officer approached me to say that he needed to take my statement, but understood that I would want to go to the hospital and could talk to me there. My car was unable to be moved because of Diana and the police, so I had to ride with my parents. The paramedics had given my mother and me towels to clean Stephanie's blood from our hands as we rode the ten blocks to the hospital. I hadn't thought about it until we pulled into the lot, but Stephanie was going into the hospital where my mother had worked for nearly thirty-five years. My mother had been on the phone with the hospital since finishing her statement with the police and was updating me on her status.

"Stephanie was taken into surgery as soon as she got to the hospital," my mother said as we walked through the hospital to the surgical waiting room. "Have you called her family yet?"

I shook my head. "I need to do that now. You go ahead. I'll be there in a few minutes."

As my parents walked away, I found a small alcove away from the bustling hallway and pulled out my phone. I didn't want to make this call. I hadn't wanted to have to face Helen Plum when she learned that I planned to marry her daughter. I definitely didn't want to have to tell her that her daughter had been shot by my delusional ex-girlfriend. The call ended five minutes later. Helen had been distraught, but said she, Frank and Edna would leave right away to come up to the hospital. I called Tank to bring him up to speed on the events of the day, and to ask that Ella go to the house to take care of the dog and to pack a bag for me. Someone would retrieve my car from the church's parking lot when they brought my bag up to Newark later in the day.

I made my way to the surgical waiting room, which was painted pale yellow and filled with wood-framed chairs with blue upholstery and matching wooden tables. Celia and my parents were sitting together, talking quietly amongst themselves. I walked over to join them, taking the chair next to Celia.

"Stephanie's parents and grandmother are on their way," I told them. "Have you heard anything yet?"

My mother shook her head. "Not yet, dear. There was a police officer looking for you, but I told him you were calling Stephanie's family. He said he would be back in half an hour to take your statement."

I nodded and leaned forward, putting my elbows on my knees and resting my head in my hands. This wasn't actually happening, was it? Stephanie had been kidnapped and had near-misses before, but never to the extent that she'd required major surgery. I'd always managed to get to her before she got seriously injured. I hadn't considered that Diana might use the gun on us when she had been talking. She had been suicidal, and I had just hoped to be able to talk her out of blowing her brains out in a church parking lot where my nieces and nephews might see it. Diana's mother had died of Huntington's disease when Diana was eleven years-old. She had known it was genetic, but had never wanted to get the test done to see if she had the markers. She had preferred to live her life as normal as possible with the knowledge that she had a significant chance of developing the disease. Her mother had suffered tremendously through the disease for most of Diana's life. Diana had said that the last two years had been nearly unbearable to watch, and that her mother had been indicating that she wanted to die, but Diana's father hadn't been able to bring himself to do it. She had resented him for that as she'd gotten older.

The detective from the Newark PD showed up as promised, and we headed off to a private consultation room to talk. I gave my parents and Celia a description of Stephanie's family before I left and told them to call my phone if the doctor came in while I was out. The detective, named Hawkins, was reasonable and sympathetic. He was around fifty with blonde hair and brown eyes and looked like he had gain some weight since he'd bought his suit. It took an hour to fill him in on the details of how I knew Diana, her appearance and character when she'd suddenly shown up in Trenton back in May, and the events of that had ended in her death. He said they'd found a suicide note in her car addressed to her father. She had said she couldn't trust him to give her peace, and that she had wanted me to suffer before she moved on to the next life. He said that he had already spoken to the District Attorney, who said this was a clear case of self-defense and defense of others and that no charges would be filed. Not that I had been worried, but it was good to know. When I got back to the waiting room, Helen, Frank and Edna were there talking to my parents and sister.

"Anything yet?" I asked, sitting down next to Edna. She shook her head.

"No, but this is Stephanie. She's not going to go down without a fight," Edna replied, wiping away a tear but looking certain of her words.

Frank looked shell-shocked, unsure of how to handle the news that his youngest daughter was gravely wounded. Helen was sitting next to my mother, who was holding one of her hands, and was talking with tears pouring down her cheeks. My mother was in nurse-mode, sympathetic but detached. She was trying to help Helen, but I knew she was hurting almost as much. From the first time she'd met Stephanie, I knew my mother had taken her into her heart as her own. I listened to the various conversations happening for the next few minutes, but didn't really process what was being said. All I could think about was Stephanie and the image of her bleeding out in front of me in that parking lot. My cell phone started buzzing in my pocket and I pulled it out. The caller ID told me it was Julie's cell phone.

"I bet Katrina told her," Celia said. She was sitting next to Edna and looking over at the display on my phone. "You should talk to her. I'm sure she's upset."

I stood up and walked over to the windows on the other side of the room before answering the call.

"Dad, is Stephanie okay?"

Julie's pain was evident in her voice, making my chest hurt and throat constrict. Even though my involvement in Julie's life had been limited, I knew my mother had always been right when she said that your worst pains would come from the pain your children experience.

"She's in surgery right now. I haven't heard anything yet."

Julie fought back a sob and sniffled. "But do you think she'll be okay?"

I closed my eyes as I spoke. "I hope so, Julie. She's healthy, young and stubborn—all things important to getting through something like this."

I talked to Julie for another couple of minutes before she handed the phone off to Rachel. I brought her up to speed on what had happened and promised to call once I knew more. Rachel and Ron had both liked Stephanie and saw how much Julie adored her. I saw a nurse walk in and start talking to my mother, so I disconnected my phone call and walked over to join them.

"Marla is a surgical nurse," my mother explained to me. "She has been in with Stephanie and said that they are just about done and will be taking her to recovery. The surgeon will be out shortly to talk to you, but these are Stephanie's belongings. They wanted to get them to you, especially because of her ring and her watch. We don't like to keep expensive items on patients who aren't conscious."

I accepted the small plastic bag, which contained Stephanie's sapphire earrings, her engagement ring and watch, and thanked the nurse for coming out. Our group sat in silence for what felt like hours, but was really only twenty minutes. We needed to hear the news as to whether Stephanie was going to pull through or if we were going to have to start planning her funeral before we could start breathing with any sort of regularity. I kept telling myself that she had to pull through because there wasn't another option. The world— _my world_ —wasn't worth living in without Stephanie Plum alive and well in it. The idea of never getting the chance to marry the woman who had proposed to me was absurd and sickening. Surely God didn't hate me that much. Surely Stephanie couldn't have come that far to die just two weeks later. After all, I certainly hadn't wanted to fall in love with Stephanie Plum. I hadn't sought her out, nor did I think I would have had much to do with her if Connie hadn't sent her my way. Even then, I had no intentions of getting involved with her in any way except work-related situations. I had always felt that it had been divine intervention that had made me start to feel something more for her. Something beyond my control had opened up my heart to this woman, and I could only hope and pray that the same power didn't take her from me.

"Are you the family of Stephanie Plum?"

I looked up to see a woman wearing dark blue scrubs and a surgical cap. After my mother answered yes, the doctor pulled a chair over so that she could sit in front of all of us to talk.

"One of the bullets hit the lower lobe of her right lung and the other two were lodged in her diaphragm. I was able to remove all of the bullets and repair the damage. She is on a ventilator right now and will be sedated until the morning. I'm hopeful that she will be off the ventilator tomorrow, and that the chest tube can be removed in a couple of days, but only time will tell. These first twenty-four hours are the most critical for her. She will be in ICU until she is off the ventilator and the chest tube is removed. For now we have to watch for signs of infections or blood clots, and work to wean her off of the vent. Barring any complications, I expect that Stephanie should make a full recovery."

"When can we see her?" Helen asked, wiping tears from her cheeks.

"She'll be in her room in an hour or so," the doctor replied. "I believe she'll be in room 3840. You can ask at the nurse's stations in ICU to confirm."

"Thank you," I said to the doctor as she stood up and replaced the chair. She nodded and left the room, leaving behind seven people who felt slightly more relieved. Stephanie had survived surgery, which was the biggest part. The next hurdle was there, but I knew Stephanie. She would clear it.

"We ask that only two visitors go in at a time," the nurse in the Intensive Care Unit informed us when Helen, Frank, Edna and I arrived in the waiting area an hour later. "And we prefer there not be anyone in the rooms the first fifteen minutes of every hour so that we can do our checks and respect patient dignity."

We said that we understood, and I told Helen and Frank to take the first visit. I wanted to be able to spend time alone with Stephanie without feeling rushed to leave so that someone else could have their first visit. Frank came out fifteen minutes later and Edna went back in his place. Both she and Helen returned to the waiting area at seven as requested by the nursing staff.

At fifteen minutes after seven, I went alone to room 3840. It was small, filled with the hospital bed, I.V. poles, the ventilator, and two chairs against the far wall for visitors. One of the I.V.s beeped, indicating that it was delivering a new dose of medication. Stephanie's skin was pale, and there was a thick, plastic tube running from her mouth to the machine that was helping her breathe. She was wearing a blue hospital gown, and a white blanket was covering her body up to her waist. I pulled one of the chairs over to the left side of the bed and sat down, taking her hand in mine. I ran my thumb over her bare ring finger before bringing her hand to my lips. My fears had been realized in that I hadn't been able to save Stephanie before someone hurt her, but she had thankfully pulled through the surgery.

"You're going to be fine," I told her. "You'll get through this."

The only response I received was from the whirring of the ventilator. I leaned back in the chair and studied her features, trying to think about anything but the sight of her blood on my hands. I thought about the first time I met her, the first time I kissed her, and the first time I made love to her. I thought about the way the skin underneath her breasts felt, and how she would quiver anytime I kissed right below her navel. She would have scars on her chest now from where she had been shot and had undergone surgery. They wouldn't take anything away from her beauty, but would serve as a reminder to me of the time that I failed her. I just hoped she wouldn't feel self-conscious about them.

"How are you doing?"

I looked up to see my mother standing in the doorway. She was wearing her work uniform of pale pink scrubs and sneakers. I had forgotten she was supposed to work today.

"I'm managing."

She walked over to Stephanie, took hold of her other hand and checked out the monitors next to the bed.

"Her vitals are stable. Blood pressure's good," she said. "She's strong, Carlos. She can pull through this."

"I know," I replied. "But I feel guilty. This is the third time someone has targeted Stephanie to get to me, and she almost died this time. Part of the reason I always kept myself emotionally-distanced from her was because I didn't want people to use her to get back at me."

"Who would want to get back at you?"

"Mom, you have no idea what all I have done in my life, and you don't want to know. But the things I've done have made me plenty of enemies; people who wouldn't think twice about using someone I love to make me suffer because they know torture would be nothing compared to the guilt and pain I'd feel if she died."

"You said the man who kidnapped Julie and Stephanie was just a random psychopath who became obsessed with you. And the man who went after her last year was in your unit in the military and was supposed to have died several years ago. Diana was an ex-girlfriend that you assumed had moved on with her life. You couldn't have predicted those enemies."

I almost smiled at my mother's naiveté. She had no clue as to what I really meant, and I wanted it to stay that way. I had worked hard to keep my family away from the darker sides of my life over the years, and was glad to see that I had been mostly successful.

"What's done is done. All I can do is to continue to try to keep Stephanie safe from them, but I failed her today. I should have pulled my gun as soon as Diana pulled hers. I shouldn't have assumed that she would just want to use the gun on herself."

"Did you think this was possible?"

I shook my head. "No, but I remember Diana telling me that her mother had the cognitive changes first when she was diagnosed with Huntington's disease. Her personality changed significantly and she became delusional, but she was never dangerous. I think this was a lethal combination of Diana's cut-throat personality and the effects of the disease."

My mother stayed for another couple of minutes before heading back to the Labor & Delivery unit where she had worked for the past twenty years of her nursing career. I sat with Stephanie until the nurse came in to do her rounds at eight. I headed out to the lobby to find Helen sitting alone with a small tote bag front of her.

"I told Frank and my mother to go on home," she said as I took the seat next to her. "I told them I'd call them if anything changed, and I figure they'll come back up tomorrow with Valerie."

"My parents live about ten minutes from the hospital, so if you want to go somewhere to rest for the night I have no doubt they would set up the guest room for you," I told her.

"Thank you, Carlos, but I'll stay here for tonight. I want to be able to be here if something happens or when she wakes up. I doubt that wild horses could drag you away either."

I nodded. "I have someone collecting my car and bringing me a bag from home. Ella, the housekeeper at my office, is taking care of Bob for us."

We sat quietly for the next fifteen minutes before Helen went back to see Stephanie again. I sat in the lobby and checked my phone. I had five text messages, twelve missed calls and a four voice messages. Most of them were family. One was from Julie, asking how Stephanie was doing. I had forgotten to call her when Stephanie was first taken up to ICU, so I called her back and updated her on Stephanie's condition. She was able to calm down once she was told that Stephanie had come through surgery and was stable, but wanted regular updates. Five minutes after I hung up with Julie I received a phone call from Tank. He had come to Newark with Lester, who was driving my car, and they had parked it on the second level of the garage. I told them I would meet them there to collect my bag.

Tank and Lester were leaning against the Turbo when I arrived. Tank handed me a black duffle bag.

"Ella said she packed an outfit in there for Stephanie to wear when she comes home," he told me. "How's she doing?"

"Stable for now. As long as nothing happens while she's on the ventilator, the doctor is hopeful she'll make a full recovery."

Both men sighed in relief. Most of my men liked Stephanie, even though some of them had been hurt going out with her at times. A few were indifferent. If anyone didn't like her, they'd never said anything.

"Lula's a mess," Tank said. "She wanted to come up with us, but I told her I'd call her and let her know how things were going as soon as I knew. I was afraid I'd have to stun her just to keep her from getting in the car with us."

"I'll keep you updated, but try to keep Lula from coming up here until Stephanie's ready for visitors. She'll have enough of them between our families, and ICU only allows two visitors at a time."

Tank nodded. "Anything I need to do at the office?"

"Just reschedule my client meetings for this week. I should be able to get to them next week. If Stephanie isn't home by then, she should be in a position where I'd feel comfortable enough to leave town for a few hours."

After Tank and Lester left, I found a bathroom just inside the hospital from the parking garage and changed into jeans, t-shirt and sneakers. I put my duffle bag in my car and headed back up to the ICU waiting room, where I ran into Helen coming back from visiting Stephanie.

"I keep hoping she'll open her eyes or something," Helen said, heading over to the kitchenette that was attached to the ICU waiting room.

"The sedation she's on is pretty strong," I told her. "It's supposed to keep her from waking up and panicking when she realizes there a tube running down her throat."

Helen found coffee supplies and started a pot of coffee. "I just can't believe this happened. I'm always worried that she'll get hurt chasing after criminals. I never imagined she would be shot in a church parking lot by your ex-girlfriend."

"Me neither," I replied. "Even when Diana pulled the gun, I never thought she was going to use it on Stephanie. She was making it very clear that she was suicidal, but gave no indication until right before she fired that she planned to hurt anyone else. I should have pulled my gun sooner."

"You couldn't have predicted this, Carlos. The only one to blame is this Diana, and she's dead. Does she have family?"

"Her father is the only one left. Her mother died from Huntington's disease when she was a child. It's why she wanted to die now. She didn't want it to drag out with her the way it did with her mother."

"I've never heard of this disease," Helen said, handing me a cup of coffee. "What does it do exactly?"

I spent the next fifteen minutes telling her what I knew about Huntington's disease and what Diana had told me about her mother's time after diagnosed with it.

"What a horrible disease. How is it possible that I can feel a little sorry for the woman who just tried to kill my daughter?" Helen asked after I finished.

"What happened today isn't solely the result of the Huntington's," I said. "Diana was ambitious and aggressive in her determination to get what she wanted. She wouldn't have ever killed anyone without the Huntington's disease causing delusions and impairing her ability to reason and control her impulses, but if she had a different personality, I doubt this would have happened. I guess you could say it was a perfect storm."

Helen and I alternated hours with Stephanie for the rest of the night, dozing in our chairs in the waiting room during our "off" hours. Stephanie's vitals remained stable through the night, and at seven in the morning, they began taking her off the medications that kept her sedated. We were asked not to come in after that so that the staff could work on weaning her off of the ventilator, but they promised to keep us updated on what was happening. My mother had been in contact with the ICU nurses all night checking on Stephanie's condition and had come to the waiting room after her shift ended to see if we needed anything.

"Mom, you've been working all night. Go home, we're fine," I told her. "How many babies did you help deliver last night?"

"Seven. It was a busy night," she replied. "July is always a big month for babies."

My mother insisted on staying until Stephanie was weaned from the ventilator, saying she couldn't relax until she knew that Stephanie was stable and breathing on her own. She gushed over Stephanie, talking about how much our family loved her. Helen commented that she was happy Stephanie and I were such a great couple and that we were settling down before launching into a discussion about wedding ideas. I knew Helen would never be enthusiastic about me the way my mother was about Stephanie. She tolerated me, and perhaps liked me, but I wasn't her ideal for a son-in-law. Their conversation was eventually interrupted by a middle-aged nurse from the ICU.

"Stephanie is awake, breathing on her own and wants to see you," she told us.

My mother left as we headed to Stephanie's room, promising to update the rest of the family for me and telling Helen that she was welcome to stay at their house if she wanted to remain in Newark until Stephanie was out of the hospital. The head of the bed was elevated a little more than it had been when she was on the ventilator and a nurse was helping Stephanie take a drink of water.

"Just a small sip," the nurse said. "You've not had anything in almost a day, and your throat will be a little raw from the tubes."

Stephanie took a sip and grimaced. "Ouch," she whispered.

"It looks like your family is here," the nurse said, point in our direction. "Just be careful of your chest tube when you hug."

The nurse left and Helen and I walked in the room. I could see tears falling down Helen's cheeks as she went over to Stephanie and gave her a hug, avoiding her right side. Stephanie hugged her mother as best she could, but her eyes were on me.

"How are you feeling?"

Stephanie grimaced again as she tried to talk. "My throat hurts. Pain meds help."

After a couple of minutes of Helen telling Stephanie how scared she had been, she stood and said she would go out to the waiting room to update the family on how she was doing so that we could have some time together. I sat down on the edge of the bed and ran a hand along her face before leaning in to kiss her. Her lips were dry from the sterile hospital air, but I still nearly moaned as we kissed. The realization that I may have never had the chance to kiss her again hit me as I pulled away, bringing emotions up that I had been working hard to suppress.

"I'm sorry this happened to—," I said, but was interrupted as Stephanie put her fingers on my lips.

"It's not your fault," she said hoarsely. I grabbed the cup of water and helped her take another drink before she tried to talk again. "What happened to Diana?"

"Are you sure you're ready for this?" I asked. She nodded and gave me a look that told me she wouldn't let up until I told her.

I told Stephanie about killing Diana after she'd fired off three rounds and that Diana had been suicidal because of the Huntington's disease and the prospect of the poor quality of life she was facing. Stephanie listened intently, and I could tell that regardless of what had happened, she felt some sympathy for Diana. I was struggling to find any sympathy for my ex-girlfriend in that moment, especially because I was looking at my fiancée and the chest tube that was draining excess fluid from her chest and helping to keep her lung inflated.

"How long will I have to be here?" Stephanie asked after a while.

"I'd say a week or so, based on my experiences," I told her. "You have to get that chest tube out first. The important thing for now is that you're breathing on your own and not experiencing any complications."

Stephanie groaned. "This sucks."

"It's better than the alternative, which was planning your funeral," I replied. I realized after the words were out of my mouth that my tone must have been harsh, as Stephanie looked both surprised and a little ashamed.

"Sorry," I told her. "The last nineteen hours have been pure hell."

She brought my hand up to her lips and kissed it. "Don't worry. I understand."

Stephanie used her pain pump to administer another dose of morphine and started to become drowsy within a few minutes. I sat next to her and held her hand until she fell asleep, thinking how almost losing her had made me love her more than ever, which I hadn't imagined possible. Once she was asleep, I went down two floors to the hospital chapel. I knelt at the altar, made the sign of the cross and thanked God for sparing the woman I loved.


	34. I'll Be

_**A/N: Back to Stephanie.**_

I was able to leave the ICU on Tuesday after my chest tube was removed, and I was discharged from the hospital on Friday. Ranger and my mother had stayed in Newark until I was out of the ICU, but then I was able to convince them to go home so they could rest up and get back to work. Ranger had looked terrible when I had seen him for the first time after waking up from the sedation, but he'd started to look more like himself by the time I was transferred to the surgical floor. Lola, who apparently worked at the same hospital, came to check on me several times a day and would update both Ranger and my mother on my condition.

As Ranger drove down the Turnpike towards Trenton, I thought about Diana Hastings for the hundredth time that week. After Ranger had told me about her condition, I'd done some research on the nature of Huntington's disease. What I had read was horrible, and I found that I was even a little sympathetic towards Diana. Not that I thought shooting _me_ was the right move, but I could understand her desire to end it all quickly. I could tell Ranger was holding onto some serious anger towards her and a load of guilt. I could understand the anger, but I had tried —and so far failed—to convince him that he had no reason to feel guilty. He couldn't have known that Diana was going to shoot me. I hadn't expected anything except a suicide when she'd pulled that gun out of her pocket.

"Home sweet home," I said as we pulled up behind the garage. "I've never been so glad to be here."

Ranger got out of the Cayenne and helped me out, putting his arm around my waist. My right arm was in a sling due to my broken rib and injured diaphragm, and I was a bit wobbly because of the pain medications. We walked up to the house and he unlocked the door, grabbing Bob by the collar before he could jump on me. I scratched Bob on the ears and told him I'd missed him. After he had done enough sniffing to satisfy his curiosity, Bob went to the living room and laid down on his bed by the stairs.

"I'd love a meatball sub for dinner," I told Ranger. "It's necessary for my recovery."

"Done," he said, handing me the remote control. "I'll stop by the drug store to pick up your prescription and supplies to change your bandages while I'm out. Is there anything else you need?"

"I don't think so. If I think of anything, I'll call you."

I was ten minutes into an episode of _Frasier_ when I experienced an unmistakable feeling. I painfully got up from the couch and headed upstairs to the bathroom. Just what I needed—my period on top of everything else. The situation was made worse when I realized that I had _nothing_ in terms of supplies. I'd intended to buy some last week, but getting shot had interfered with shopping plans. I searched through my bedroom and purse quickly to see if I had any lying around, but there none to be found. I grimaced at the realization of what I needed to do.

"Um, I just realized something I need," I told Ranger when he answered his phone. "But I'm not sure if you're going to want to get it for me."

"What is it?"

"Tampons."

There were a few beats of silence on the other end of the line. I could imagine Ranger standing in the middle of the drug store weighing his options. He could say no way in hell to his injured and menstruating fiancée and insist that I call a woman to do it. He could pretend the call had dropped and that he hadn't heard what I had said. He could put a bullet in his brain.

"What kind?"

"Are you serious?"

"Just tell me what you need before I think about this too much."

I gave him the details of the type of tampons I used, thanked him profusely and disconnected, trying not to crack up over the image of Ranger buying tampons. A bout of laughter escaped me before I could stop it, causing me a good deal of pain. I guess I deserved that.

Ranger returned home twenty minutes later with bags from _Pino's_ and CVS. I walked into the kitchen and peeked inside the CVS bag.

"You have no idea how much I love you right now," I told him, picking up the bag with my good hand and giving him a quick kiss.

"The fact that I was willing to do that should show you how much I love you. I'd rather take a bullet than ever do that again," Ranger replied. "I actually ran into one of my men doing the same thing for his girlfriend."

"You're kidding? What did you say?"

"Nothing. We just exchanged a look of understanding that said we'd never speak of what happened."

Ranger helped change my bandages after dinner, applying large waterproof ones so that I could shower without having to worry about getting my incision wet. He helped me out of the rest of my clothes, turned on the shower, and started taking his own clothes off.

"You'll need help," he said. "You can't wash your hair with just one hand."

It was nice to feel like I was getting truly clean as I stood under the water. Even though I didn't actually believe in hospital cooties like Lula, I did feel like something was left on my skin after being in the super sterile environment for six days.

"You're really good at this," I told Ranger as he started massaging shampoo into my scalp.

"I've always been good in the shower," he replied with a smirk.

"I meant at being a caregiver."

"I think it comes from my mother being a nurse. Some combination of inherited desire to take care of someone and watching her do it over the years."

We finished showering and Ranger helped me get dressed in a tank top and shorts.

"Do you know how to braid?" I asked as he brushed my hair.

"Unfortunately. I wish I could say I learned it in my Army training, but the reality is that I had four older sisters who tried to turn me into a girl."

I bit down on my lip to keep from laughing. "My hair will be more manageable if it's braided, but I won't ask you to dry it for me. I've tested the limits of your masculinity enough today."

"And you think that asking me to braid it doesn't test my masculinity as much as using the hair dryer?"

"Good point. You don't have to do anything else to it. You've been more than enough help," I told him, making an attempt to stand up. He pulled gently on my hair, bringing me back down on the bed.

"I didn't say I wouldn't do it," he said, dividing my hair into three sections. "But my masculinity has managed to survive more than I expected it would. I didn't think it could get much worse than when I kept getting called by the bridal salon lady last year when you were getting ready for Kinsey's wedding."

"I appreciate you doing all of this," I said seriously. "You could have called my mother or sister to do it instead."

Ranger was quiet as he braided my hair, and it made me think that the reason he'd been doing all of these things was because he still felt guilty.

"For better or for worse, in sickness and in health," he said as he wrapped a hair tie around the end of the braid. "I intend to live by those words for the rest of my life. You getting shot just happened to fall the 'in sickness' part and buying your tampons falls into the 'for worse' category."

I felt tears start to prick my eyes. I had been more emotional this week, and wasn't sure if it was related to being shot three times or my hormones. I turned to face him and gave him a lingering kiss.

"Are you handling this okay?" I asked him after I pulled away. As usual, Ranger had done a good job of staying calm and keeping his emotions to himself, but because I'd gotten to know him so well I could see the haunted look in his eyes since the shooting. It was similar to the one I'd seen in him after he'd come home from Somalia.

"I'm managing as well as I can. I almost lost you this week, and I had to kill a woman that I used to love and had intended to marry at one time. The only way this week could have been worse would have been if you had died."

I ran a hand along his jawline. "I can't imagine how hard this has been. I remember how horrible it was to see you bleeding out on my living floor after Scrog shot you. I can't imagine what it would have been like had Morelli shot you, and I'd had to shoot him in response."

"Exactly, though I should hope I would have gotten at least one round off at Morelli on my own."

I rolled my eyes. Even though things were good between all of us, I didn't think Morelli and Ranger would ever really overcome their need to one-up each other.

"Are you sure you don't want to go to her funeral tomorrow?"

Ranger shook his head. "No. I'm still angry with her. I think it's in poor taste to show up to the funeral of the person you killed, even though her father asked me to come."

Sleeping was incredibly difficult that night with my surgical incisions and broken rib. The hospital bed had been slightly better because I could adjust the head of the bed to a comfortable position. I was almost constantly moving, trying to find the right position for sleep and was in pain with almost every move. I tried propping myself up with my pillows, but my headboard wasn't really made for sitting up for more than a few minutes. I tried to move easily and not moan too loudly, but I knew Ranger wasn't getting any sleep. After an hour and a half, I decided to get up and try sleeping elsewhere.

"What do you need?" he asked as I got out of bed.

"I'm going to try sleeping on the couch in the office," I said, grabbing my pillow. "I can't get comfortable, and I don't want to keep you awake all night."

"Don't worry about me, babe. Do you need something? Pills? More pillows?"

"Could you help me pull the bed out of the sofa? I might be able to sit up better in that bed than in ours."

After Ranger pulled the bed out and put sheets on it, he kissed me good-night and told me to call his phone if I needed him since it would hurt my ribs and diaphragm to yell for him. I climbed in bed and adjusted my pillow behind my neck as I leaned up against the back of the couch. I found I was able to get into a more comfortable position and managed to fall asleep fairly easily. I woke up a few hours later when my pain pills wore off and found Ranger asleep next to me. He was lying beside me on the bed, his right hand resting on my thigh. I noticed he had placed my pills and a bottle of water on the table next to the couch within easy reach of my good arm. I popped two pills, washed them down with some water, and closed my eyes again.

There was sun shining through the window the next time I woke up, and I realized I was alone. I got out of bed, went to the bathroom and headed downstairs. I found Ranger in the kitchen drinking a cup of coffee while he stood over a pan on the stove.

"Aren't you usually at work by now?" I asked, noticing that the clock read 9:03.

"I'm going to be working from home as much as I can for the next couple of weeks," he replied, dishing out scrambled eggs onto two plates. "By then, you should be more comfortable being home alone for a few hours at a time."

"I'm fine to be home alone now," I said, pouring myself a cup of coffee. "You don't have to adjust your work schedule just to be here with me. I'm sure my mother and grandmother will be over to drive me crazy."

"That's part of the reason I'm doing this. I know that they would be here cooking, cleaning and making you crazy. Plus, I'm not thrilled with the idea of your grandmother seeing my underwear."

"What's the other part?"

"You got shot because of me. I owe it to you to help you get through this."

"You're already helping me," I told him. "You don't have to—"

"I've made up my mind, Stephanie," Ranger interrupted. "Stop arguing."

I didn't say anything else, but followed him to the bar where we ate scrambled eggs, toast, and fruit. Taking care of me during my recovery was apparently something that Ranger needed to help him with his unfounded guilt. I knew he'd take care of me anyway when he was home, but had assumed I'd be home alone for a while and that my family would undoubtedly be by to help. I tried to help clean up after breakfast, but Ranger ordered me to go sit on the couch. I hoped he'd lighten up after a few days, but prepared myself in case that didn't happen.

There was a knock on the front door at one o'clock, which made Bob start barking and jolted me out of a pain pill-induced nap. Ranger had been upstairs in the office working on his computer, and I heard him come down the stairs to answer the door. It was Lula and Connie.

"You can go to work now," Lula said as she walked into the living. "We'll stay with Stephanie until you get back."

"You called them to come stay with me?" I asked incredulously. "I've told you that I'll be fine by myself."

"I didn't call them," Ranger replied, shutting the door behind Connie. "But I will go into the office if they are staying with you."

"Tank told me that Ranger wasn't coming into the office much until you were better," Lula said, opening the pastry box she was holding and taking out a jelly doughnut. "And if Tank has to be in the office doing extra work, he ain't at home with me so I said I'd come stay here so Ranger could go to work."

"This is more self-serving than self-sacrificing for Lula," Connie said, handing me a cup of coffee.

"It is too self-sacrificing," Lula said. "I could be at the Macy's shoe sale right now."

Ranger leaned over the couch and gave me a kiss on the head. "I'll be back later."

"I've got an announcement to make now that we are all together," Lula said after Ranger left. "Tank and I are getting married."

Connie and I exchanged glances, remembering the last time Lula and Tank were _engaged_.

"Does Tank know you're engaged?" I asked. "This isn't like the time when you bought yourself a ring and put it on after he went to sleep to make him think he'd proposed, is it?"

"Of course not," Lula said, pulling a diamond ring out of her purse and putting it on her left hand. "He bought the ring and asked me last night. He said he'd seen how Ranger looked when you almost died and it got him to thinking."

"Wow," Connie said, grabbing a bear claw. "I can't believe Tank actually proposed. Have you guys set a date?"

"Not yet," Lula replied. "I wanted to find out when Stephanie and Ranger were getting married so we didn't set our weddings too close together."

"I don't know when we're getting married. I don't even know that we are going to have a wedding, so have yours whenever you want," I told Lula as I bit into a Boston Crème.

"That's good because I'm thinking I want to get married in November."

"Why November?" Connie asked.

"Nobody ever gets married in November," Lula said. "It would feel special being in November."

"You need to know what kind of flowers are available in November," I told her. "Or you might have to pay more for flowers that aren't in season."

"I hadn't thought of that," Lula said, pulling out a notebook. "I'll write that down. I'm getting back to being organized again now that I gotta plan a wedding."

Connie and I made suggestions about everything from Lula's dress to Tank's tuxedo and food options for the next hour, avoiding the word _bridesmaid_ at all costs. We were afraid to know who Lula would want as her bridesmaids. We were even more afraid of what said bridesmaids would be forced to wear.

"We haven't even talked about bridesmaids yet," Lula said as she turned the fourth page in her notebook. "I want you two to be my bridemaids."

Connie and I looked at each other for a beat, not saying anything. We were both trying to think of a way to get out of the wedding without hurting Lula's feelings. I wasn't coming up with any ideas, so I decided to be assertive.

"Only if we can pick our own dresses," I stated.

"That's no fun," Lula said. "This is my wedding. What if I don't like the dress you pick?"

"How about you tell us the color would want the dress to be, then we can go through styles and narrow it down to two or three for you to make final choice?" Connie suggested, trying not to look too delighted.

Lula thought about that for a minute. "I guess that would be okay. I'll have to think about it and let you know."

"Don't wait too long," I told her. "Especially if you want to have a November wedding."

I managed to convince Lula and Connie to leave around four o'clock with the promise that I wouldn't let Ranger kill them for leaving me alone. I was feeling drowsy after taking another dose of pain medication, and needed to decompress from three hours of wedding discussion. I fell asleep on the couch and woke up when I heard the back door open and shut.

"Where are Lula and Connie?" Ranger asked from the kitchen. He set a heavy canvas bag on the counter and started unpacking it.

"I sent them home around four. I needed a nap. Did you know Tank proposed to Lula?"

"He told me this afternoon. I told him I wasn't sure whether to congratulate him or offer him my condolences. He told me I should be offer my empathy, considering what a train wreck I'm planning to marry."

"He's calling me a train wreck while I'm wounded?"

"I let him have it," Ranger said, examining one of the glass containers he was pulling out of the bag. "We both know who's marrying the bigger train wreck."

"What is all of that?" I asked, painfully standing up and heading into the kitchen.

"Ella sent food over for dinner while you're still recovering. Some stuff goes in the slow cooker and some goes in the oven. She sent instructions on how to cook everything."

We decided to put a lasagna in the oven and Ranger stacked the rest of the food in the freezer. I stood around like third base, unable to do anything that required lifting or coordination with my left hand.

After we showered, Ranger sat on the couch with me and worked on my laptop while I watched a movie on-demand. I started falling asleep halfway through the movie after taking a dose of pain pills. I woke up when the credits started rolling to find that I had my head on Ranger's shoulder. He was still working on the computer, sending an email in Spanish.

"Are you ready for bed?" he asked, sending the email and closing out his email program. I nodded sleepily and he helped me up. The pain pills made me unsteady, so he held onto my good arm as we walked upstairs together.

He put my pills and a bottle of water on the table next to the sofa bed and helped me get settled before crawling in next to me.

"Why are you sleeping in here?" I asked. "I came in here so you could get some sleep without my moaning and moving bothering you."

"Because I want to sleep next to you," he replied, propping himself up an elbow. "You slept pretty well last night."

"You don't have to sleep in here with me," I told him. "I'm fine to be alone."

"So you want me to go back to our bedroom?"

"You don't have to if you don't want to, but I don't want you to think that you need to sleep in here with me."

Ranger looked at me for a minute, analyzing what I had just said. "I am sleeping in here because I want to be close to you. I don't sleep as well when you're not in bed next to me. Since the shooting, I've been having nightmares about you being dead. I had one last night, and it's why I came in here to sleep with you. Touching you makes me remember that you are alive."

My stomach did a small flip at his words. I had been so focused on his feelings of guilty that I hadn't stopped to consider the other ways the trauma might be affecting him.

I drifted off to sleep after that with Ranger lightly stroking my leg. At one point, I started dreaming about the shooting in the church parking lot, but in my dream it was Ranger that got shot instead of me. When I looked down at him, he wasn't lying in the church parking lot, but in my old apartment, wearing the clothes he'd been in when he'd been shot by Scrog.

"Stephanie, wake up."

I opened my eyes in the dark to see the outline of Ranger sitting up next to me.

"You were moaning in your sleep. Do you need more pain meds?"

"I was dreaming about the shooting, only it was you that got shot. Then it kind of morphed into remembering when you were shot by Scrog," I told him.

He kissed my forehead. "I understand. Do you need anything?"

"Just more pills," I said, grabbing the bottle. "My side is killing me."

We followed a similar pattern for the next two weeks while I continued to heal, which included going to physical therapy twice a week. Even though I hated my physical therapist and had condemned him to a special place in hell, the pain began subsiding in my diaphragm to the extent that I no longer had to wear the sling. Once I was out of the sling and able to do more by myself, Ranger started going into the office for longer periods of time, calling throughout the day to check on me. Ella came over twice a week to clean the house and do laundry, and between her and my mother, we hadn't done anything more for dinner than put something in the slow cooker or oven. Lola, Celia and Lucy kept in frequent contact to check up on me and offered to take me to lunch one day if I was feeling up to it. I hadn't been out of the house to go anywhere except to physical therapy, so I jumped at the opportunity.

"Are you sure you're up to going out?" Ranger asked the morning that Celia, Lucy and Lola were coming down to Trenton.

"I'm going to sit down and eat at a restaurant. I don't have to hunt for my food," I told him, struggling to pull on my shirt without too much wincing.

His overprotectiveness had been decreasing a little as time had progressed, but he still didn't want me to do much of anything but relax. I, on the other hand, had noticed that as the pain started lessening, I started wanting more intimacy with Ranger. Especially in that moment because he was standing in front of me wearing only black boxer briefs. It must have been obvious where my mind wandered to because Ranger gave a small smile and shook his head.

"Babe, you just looked at me like I was your lunch."

"Could you be my lunch?" I asked, licking my lips. "You look delicious."

"You aren't ready for anything like that yet," he said, pulling on his cargo pants. "And you won't be for a while still. Broken ribs take a while to heal fully."

"I think I'd be okay as long as you don't lay right on top of me," I argued.

"The movement would hurt your rib, not to mention the exertion in your breathing might put you in pain."

All true things, much to my chagrin. I blew out a frustrated sigh.

"Don't worry," Ranger said as he pulled on his shirt. "I'll make up for it once you're better."

Lunch was at _Cedar Mill House_ , where I'd been for Kinsey's rehearsal dinner. We were dining in the main part of the restaurant, which was similar to the private banquet room.

"How is Carlos doing?" Celia asked after we'd placed our orders. "I don't think I've ever seen him so shaken up as he was while we waited for you to come out of surgery."

"He's been very overprotective of me since we came home. He feels a lot of unnecessary guilt because he thinks he should have been able to stop Diana," I said, taking a sip of water.

"I'm not surprised," Lola said. "Carlos has always been hard on himself, even for things that are not his responsibility."

"I've tried to convince him otherwise, but he won't hear it."

As we ate our lunch, conversation shifted towards whether Ranger and I had talked about a wedding date.

"We haven't talked about it yet. I don't know that we even want a wedding since we've both been married before and there's so much planning involved. Plus, the doctor says I won't be completely healed from my rib for probably three to four months, so I'm going to have to focus on being able to go after criminals without reinjuring my rib. We aren't in any hurry to get married. It's not like either of us is going anywhere."

"We may have to have an engagement dinner or something, just in case you decide to not have a wedding," Celia said. "That way your families and friends can meet each other."

"We could have it at the restaurant," Lucy chimed in. "Maybe we should it on New Year's Eve. We'd been talking about having a party this year anyway. It would be perfect to combine the two things, even if Carlos and Stephanie get married before then."

"And if they aren't married by then, perhaps they will have set a date and can tell everyone at the party," Lola said, giving me a look that told me she certainly hoped we would have it together by then.

They came back to the house after lunch, as Lola hadn't been inside before. I had just finished giving everyone the grand tour when Ranger came in the back door.

"Hi dear," Lola said, hugging her son. "Stephanie was just showing us the house. You have a beautiful home."

"Stephanie picked it out and bought it. She just took me in like a stray," Ranger said, grinning at me.

"You've changed some things since I was here in March," Lucy said, picking up the framed photo of Ranger and me from the anniversary party the previous summer. "It actually looks like a man lives here now."

Ranger and I exchanged brief glances, remembering the horrible fight we'd had in the spring.

"I had to move everything from the Newark apartment down here," Ranger told them. "We just did that back in May."

"By the way, we are planning a party for you and Stephanie on New Year's Eve," Celia told her brother. "If you aren't married by then, it'll be an engagement dinner. If you are, then we'll call it a wedding reception."

Ranger slid a glance my way, and I responded with a look that I hope conveyed that the entire thing was out of my hands.

"What made you decide to this?" he asked.

While Celia, Lucy and Lola outlined their justification for the party to Ranger, I quietly excused myself to go take some of my pain pills. I had been saving them mostly for sleeping by this point because they made me drowsy, but thought that taking some now might be a good way to get the family moving along in short order. I appreciated that they wanted to do something special for us, but between their discussions and Lula's non-stop wedding phone calls and texts, I needed a break from party planning.

When I returned to the living room, Ranger was looking like he might be ready to bolt for the door.

"It'll be fine, Carlos," Lola said, patting him on the arm. "You won't feel out of place."

"Right," Ranger said, looking skeptical. "I need to get back to the office. I just wanted to check on Stephanie and see if she needed anything."

"I'm good," I said. "I just took some pain pills, so I'll start getting tired soon."

Lola, Celia and Lucy immediately began saying their good-byes and promised to be in touch about a guest list for the party.

I saw a small smirk place on Ranger's lips after he shut the door on his family. He knew exactly why I'd taken the pills. He walked over and kissed me lightly.

"Well played, babe. Too bad you didn't do that before they started planning the party."

"Are you kidding? I think if I hadn't been there, they'd have been planning a wedding instead."

"Good point. Are you in any hurry to get married?"

I shook my head. "Not really. You?"

Ranger shrugged. "I've already told you it doesn't matter to me. I just want to marry you. Sometime in the next year would be nice though."

"So that's settled. Sometime in the next year. How long do you think that placate our families?"

"It won't. I think it'll further frustrate them."

We both smiled at the thought.


	35. Copacabana

_**A/N: I want to apologize to Barry Manilow right now for destroying the Copacabana. It's all Lula's fault. This chapter will mostly be from Stephanie's POV with a little Ranger POV thrown it at the end. You'll see why (and don't worry-it's nothing bad).**_

By early October, I was fully recovered from the shooting. My ribs were still a little tender if I tried to move a certain way, but not excruciatingly painful the way they had been at first. Ranger had gradually lightened up to the point of normalcy by the time the doctor cleared me for most regular activities at my six-week follow-up appointment. As time had passed, I'd been able to convince him that his guilt was unfounded, which was good because I'd been considering killing him in his sleep at one point. Our sex life had resumed, thankfully, though the first few times had been a little painful as Ranger had warned me it might be. But I'd kept that information to myself. No need to let him know he had been right once again.

Lula had morphed into bridezilla, which was horrifying though unsurprising. Connie and I had yelled her down on more than one occasion over bridesmaids' dresses, steadfastly refusing to wear zebra-print or twinkle lights. We had been almost-equally horrified when Lula announced she wanted us in orange dresses, but had been pleasantly surprised to find that there were some dresses that were actually pretty and didn't make us look like pumpkins.

"Have you ever considered making Tank leave his weapons at the office after his shift is over?" I asked Ranger one night as we were getting ready for bed. "So that he can avoid the temptation to kill Lula, or possibly himself."

"Got another text?"

I groaned and plugged my cell phone into the charger on my bedside table. " _Yes_. She wants us to wear these five-inch heels with our dresses. We don't really want to have to do so much standing in heels that high and are trying to talk her out of them, but she isn't budging."

Ranger shook his head. Since he didn't have to be in the wedding party he found the whole ordeal amusing. I made sure I did enough complaining so that he didn't enjoy it too much.

"It'll all be over soon enough," Ranger said, taking off his boxers before sliding into bed naked. "What day is the wedding again?"

"A month from today," I replied as I climbed into bed next to him. "It can't come soon enough."

I had been sleeping comfortably in Ranger's arms when a thudding downstairs startled us awake and made Bob start barking his deep, scary-dog bark. Ranger climbed out of bed, pulled on his boxers and grabbed his gun before heading downstairs. I followed behind him, wondering who the hell would be coming by at two in the morning. A burglar wouldn't be so loud, so I had my money on someone who was drunk and had come to the wrong house. I stood on the third step from the bottom of the staircase while Ranger walked over to the door. He nudged Bob out of the way, flipped on the outside light and looked through the glass in the door.

"It's Lula," he said, turning off the alarm and wrenching the door open. Lula was standing on the front stoop wearing a black trench coat, silver knee-high boots and was holding a large purple duffle bag.

"Lula! What the hell?" I said, coming the rest of the way down the stairs. "It's two in the morning."

"Tank and I had a fight," she said, pushing past Ranger and coming into the foyer. "I told him if he was gonna act like that then he could sleep alone for the rest of his pathetic life."

"But why are you here at our house?"

"I wasn't about to stay in that house with him, and I knew you had that pull-out bed in your office so I thought I could stay here with you until Tank gets his head of his ass or I find my own place."

Lula looked over at Ranger, clad only on his boxer and licked her lips. "Damn."

Ranger looked at me over Lula's head and I could tell he was itching to pull the trigger on his Glock.

"Fine," I said, blowing out a sigh of defeat. "You can stay here for _tonight only_."

Ranger reset the alarm and headed back upstairs. Lula and I followed him and I got her settled in the office before heading back down the hall to my own room where I ran into Ranger coming out of the bathroom.

"You need to talk to Tank tomorrow," I told Ranger as he shut and locked the bedroom door behind us. "I won't actually be able to get her out of here if things aren't resolved between them."

"She _will_ be leaving tomorrow," Ranger said as he climbed back into bed. "And if it has to be in a body bag, then I guess you'll get out of wearing those heels."

We'd just been able to relax enough to go back to sleep when what sounded like a diesel truck idling in the office reached our room. Ranger had his face buried in my hair and I could hear him make a soft noise of disgust. He reached over to his bedside table and picked up his cell phone, punching a number on speed dial.

"Whatever you and Lula fought about, fix it now," Ranger said after a second. I presumed Tank must have answered his phone. He listened for a minute before speaking again.

"Then take her to Paris for the honeymoon. I'll even pay for the trip, but come over and get her. She snores like a freight train. How do you sleep through this?" He listened again for a minute.

"That's pathetic," he said before hanging up.

"How _does_ he sleep through the snoring?" I asked, rolling over to face Ranger.

"He goes downstairs after she falls asleep, turns the television on low, and sleeps on the couch," he said. "If she wakes up to find him there, he can say he'd gotten up in the night to watch television and dozed off."

"And this is the man you trust to watch your back?"

"I have no doubt Tank would take a bullet for me," Ranger said, sitting up in bed. "I don't doubt that he'd even take a bullet for you, but when it comes to her he's a completely different person. He turns into the cat-owning, Lula-fearing Tank. I pretend not to know that Tank."

"How is that different from the dog-owning, Stephanie-loving Ranger?"

"He named his cats Applepuff, Miss Kitty and Suzy. Our dog is named Bob, and he doesn't have an exceptionally high place on my priorities list, whereas Tank picked his cats over Lula once before. Plus, I'm not afraid to tell you no on something. Or to inform you that you snore, which you do sometimes by the way."

"What?" I shrieked, sitting up next to him. "I don't snore!"

"Babe," he replied, giving me a look that told me I couldn't possibly understand his point of view.

I struggled to find some petty fault of his, but came up short. He didn't snore, didn't leave the toilet lid up, didn't drink directly from the milk carton, and he didn't fart in bed. He was perfect. Perfectly aggravating.

"How long will it take him to get here?" I asked, moving on from the subject of my snoring.

"Ten minutes at most," he said. "He's not going to want to leave her with me for fear that I'll kill her."

"Are you sure he's really afraid that you'll kill her, or hopeful?"

"Probably a combination of the two."

We headed downstairs and watched as Tank's SUV pulled up in front of the house behind Lula's firebird ten minutes later. Tank was dressed in black running shorts and a gray t-shirt that looked like it was painted on him. Ranger disarmed the alarm system and opened the door just as Tank arrived on the stoop.

"She's in the office," Ranger said, standing to the side as Tank stepped into the foyer.

"You should consider taking her to a doctor to have that snoring checked out," I told Tank as he headed towards the staircase. "It's not normal."

"I already got her to a doctor to get medicine for her cat allergies. I don't think I can get her to go again for the snoring. Besides, is Lula _normal_?" he asked. I shrugged and went back lean against the wall at the bottom of the stairs. Ranger stood next to me and we listened as Tank woke Lula up and she started yelling at me.

"What the hell are you doin' here?" she asked him. "Go away. I'm mad at you."

"Lula, just come home. We'll talk about it. We can go to Paris if you want, but let's go home," Tank pleaded.

"No. Stephanie and Ranger said I could sleep here, so that's what I'm going to do. How did you even know I was here?"

"Ranger called and told me to come get you."

"That good-looking son of a bitch is a narc. DID YOU HEAR THAT RANGER? YOU'RE A NARC!" Lula shouted.

Ranger wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into him, resting his hands on my ass. "If my hands are on you, they aren't around Lula's throat."

We listened as Lula and Tank argued for a few minutes before things settled down and Lula agreed to go back home. By the time they got in their respective cars and drove away, it was almost four-thirty.

"You're normally up in half an hour," I commented as we climbed the stairs.

"Not today."

We were both up and moving around by seven, neither of us feeling exceptionally rested. Bob looked disappointed when Ranger told him that they weren't going for a run that morning as he walked out the door on his way to work. I ended up taking Bob for a fast walk and then a trip to the bakery, where I got him a doughnut to make up for missing his run.

"Don't tell Ranger though," I said as I tossed the cake doughnut to him in the back seat. Bob caught the doughnut in mid-air, scarfed it down and spent the remainder of the ride licking up crumbs. No evidence of our misdeeds for Ranger to catch.

I was back out the door forty-five minutes later, headed towards the bond's office. Connie, Lula and I were going out that night to a karaoke bar for Lula's bachelorette party. Considering none of us could really sing, it wasn't looking to be a very promising night. Connie and I had agreed that we would both stay sober, but that Lula could get shit-faced if she so chose and one of us would drive her home. After her disturbance in the middle of the night, I was feeling less charitable and might make her walk home if the ride is left to me.

"Bad night?" Connie asked as I walked through the door.

"You could say that. Lula showed up at our door at two in the morning after a fight with Tank. Then she was snoring so loudly we couldn't sleep so Ranger called Tank and told him he'd pay for their honeymoon if Tank would get Lula out of the house. Tank showed up, took half an hour to convince Lula to go home with him and then they left around four-thirty."

"Jesus," Connie said, looking horrified. "I can't believe Ranger didn't shoot her."

"He was tempted."

Lula came strolling into the bond's office twenty minutes after I did, looking tired. "I barely slept last night. I feel horrible."

"Oh no,' I said, wagging a finger at her. "You don't get to complain. You dragged Ranger and me into the freaking mess with you. You're lucky he didn't make you disappear, never to be heard from again."

"You didn't have to answer your door," Lula retorted. "I would have left eventually."

"You were pounding on it like the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Plus, you sent Bob into guard dog mode and he was barking his head off."

"That's what friends do for each other," Lula said, changing the direction of her argument. "If you and Ranger had a fight, I'd let you come stay with me."

I'd probably be relegated to sleeping in the cats' room since Tank occupied the couch every night.

Thankfully it was Saturday, so the bond's office closed at noon and we all went home. I needed a nap if I was going to have to be out late with Lula and Connie. I took Bob for a walk and then invited him to come take a nap with me upstairs. Ranger didn't like Bob being on our bed, but I was breaking all of the relationship rules today. Plus, Bob had missed out on his run that morning, so he needed some extra love to make up for it.

I woke up at five o'clock to find that Bob gone, but I could hear Ranger's footsteps on the stairs. He'd likely heard the door open and had run down to greet him, lest he not get caught sleeping on the bed.

I rolled onto my back and looked up at Ranger as he walked in the bedroom. He looked tired, but amazingly alert. He emptied his pockets, kicked off his shoes and climbed into bed next to me.

"You let Bob sleep on the bed."

"Why would you think that?"

"This spot is warm and there's red hair on my pillow, so if it isn't Bob then you have some explaining to do, and I have a body to get rid of."

"Don't kill Bob. I asked him to come to bed with me. I was just trying to make up for the fact that he didn't get to go on a run this morning."

"I thought that was what the doughnut was for?"

I sat up in bed and looked down at Ranger. "How did you know about the doughnut? Do you have the Cayenne bugged?"

"I was driving past the Tasty Pastry this morning and saw him sitting in the backseat while you were inside. If you take him with you, you always give him a doughnut."

Oh.

"Are you going back to sleep?" Ranger asked, throwing an arm over me.

"Probably not. Are you looking to sleep or get lucky?"

"Both."

I was in a great mood by the time I picked up Lula at nine o'clock. An hour in bed with Ranger, followed by another hour of sleep had helped me get rid of most of the residual anger I'd been holding on to from being disturbed in the middle of the night. Ranger had decided to go back to the office to get some more work done since I'd most likely be out until the wee hours of the morning.

"Are you ready for some karaoke?" Lula asked as she climbed in my car. She was wearing a gold sequin skirt with a blue spandex top that barely contained her boobs and knee high gold boots. If we got lost, Lula's bottom half could serve as a beacon for the search and rescue helicopters.

"I'm not much of a singer," I told her as we drove out of her neighborhood.

"You have to sing at least one song with me," Lula said. "I'm the bride."

Connie's house was on the way to the bar, so we stopped by and I beeped the horn. She came out a couple of minutes later wearing a low-cut red dress that stopped about an inch short of slut and red Fuck Me heels. I suddenly realized how underdressed I was in my black v-neck t-shirt, jeans and sneakers. Connie climbed in the backseat and immediately started looking me over.

"You're not dressed for a night at a bar, Stephanie," she said. "You look like you do every other day."

Lula took in my appearance. "She's right. You need to change. Let's go back to your house."

"I don't need to change," I whined. "I'm fine just as I am. Besides, I'm supposed to be the designated driver, and I'm engaged. I'm not looking to pick up a man."

"I'm engaged too, but I still like to look nice and catch a man's eye," Lula said. "We'll help you pick out something hot."

I could tell I wasn't going to get anywhere with this battle, so I turned the car around and headed home. We paraded in the back door and found Ranger in the kitchen putting dishes in the dishwasher. I saw the corners of his mouth twitch when he saw Connie and Lula behind me.

"Apparently I'm not dressed appropriately for the bar scene," I said, indicating my outfit as Lula pushed me through the kitchen.

"I'm interested to see what appropriate looks like," he replied.

Fifteen minutes later, I walked back downstairs in my _bar-appropriate_ outfit of a tight, low-cut black shirt, short denim skirt and black knee-high boots with a three-inch heel. My ponytail had been morphed into loose bun and my sapphire earrings had been replaced with silver hoops.

"Now that looks like a bitch that's ready to go to karaoke!" Lula said. "Plus, it's your birthday tomorrow. We're gonna celebrate that too."

Ranger was leaning against the wall next to the back door as we headed out to the car. He gave me slow once-over and smiled at me. "I like it."

"You can rip her clothes off later," Connie said, pushing me out the door "We need to get there before the crowd."

Beats was packed by the time we got there, but we were still able to get in and find a table. Cigarette smoke lingered in the air and the noise level was off the charts. How anyone actually sang over the cacophony of laughter and talking was a mystery. Lula ordered an extra-large margarita while Connie got a glass of wine and I got a bottle of water.

"What happened to both of us staying sober?" I yelled in Connie's ear.

"One glass of wine won't do anything to me," she yelled back. "I'm not you."

Lula finished her margarita in record time and was anxious to get up to sing. "I need to put my name on the list," she said, standing up. She was a little wobbly as she walked over to the place where people could browse through the songs and sign up to sing. Karaoke began at ten, and there were already a few people signed up on the list.

"There must have been a lot of alcohol in that margarita," I told Connie. "It takes quite a bit to get Lula loosened up."

"That was almost a gallon of margarita," Connie replied. "I'd be shit-faced off of it, and you'd be comatose before you could get halfway through it."

"I got signed up to sign the Copacabana," Lula said when she rejoined us a few minutes later.

"As in the Barry Manilow song?" I asked, finding it hard to believe that anything to do with Barry Manilow was actually coming out of Lula's mouth. I was expecting something along the lines of Eminem or possibly Beyonce.

"Yes, but this is the Lula remix," she said proudly. "I've been working on it for a while now."

Connie and I looked at each other with a mixture of disbelief and horror. I immediately flagged down our server.

"We're going to need a couple more of those extra-large margaritas."

Connie and I had shared a margarita, but had only been able to drink about half of it between us before we'd started to feel a little sick. Lula had managed to put another one away and was even louder than usual while she waited for her turn to sing.

"I think I'm next," she shouted after a college-aged guy wearing a Princeton t-shirt finished a rendition of Blurred Lines that had included a girl twerking on the stage with him.

"And next is Lula singing Copacabana!" The DJ announced to the room at large. Most of the people in the bar were drunk enough not to care that what was being sung, but enjoyed the camaraderie.

Lula jumped up as best she could while being drunk and in heels and made her way to the stage.

"I'm putting this on Youtube," I said, pulling out my smartphone and turning on the video camera. "This is going to be good."

 **Ranger's POV**

I was sitting in my office reading through the evening shifts reported when my cell phone buzzed with a text message from Stephanie.

 _ **Hey sexy. I need to get laid.**_

I smiled as I read the text. Stephanie had caved and started drinking. I couldn't say that I blamed her. If I'd had to listen to Lula singing, I'd have probably taken more drastic measures than just getting drunk.

 **I'm the man for the job. Are you ready to be picked up?**

Stephanie responded a minute later. _**Yes. Send Tank for Lula. And Connie needs her own ride. I may wanna get frisky in the Cayenne on the ride home.**_

She was shit-faced.

I sent Tank a text message about getting Lula and headed out to the control room, where the midnight shift was coming on and most of the evening shift were leaving. I saw Lester Santos heading towards the elevator and caught up to him.

"Are you available to give Connie Rossoli a ride home from that karaoke bar, _Beats_?" I asked. "She, Stephanie and Lula went out, but they all ended up drunk."

"Sure," Lester said as we rode down the elevator. "I don't have anything else to do."

I rode with Lester in his nearly new Camaro to the bar, where people wanting to get into the bar were lined up along the wall outside. We parked in a lot across the street while I sent Stephanie a text message to let her know that we were there. Tank pulled into the lot a minute after we did and parked next to us. We all got out and headed across the street to wait for the girls.

We heard Lula before we saw her as she, Connie and Stephanie made their way to the exit. All three looked slightly disheveled from dancing and were laughing.

"Yay, Ranger sent a hottie for you Connie," Lula said, eyeing Lester. "And my honey is here."

Tank put his head down, clearly hoping no one would realize he was Lula's _honey._

"Thanks for driving me home, Lester," Connie said as she walked over to him. "What do I owe you for this?"

"You don't have to pay me, Connie," Lester replied politely.

"I wasn't talking about money," Connie whispered, licking her lips and giving Lester a seductive look. Lester's face broke into a wide smile.

"Connie has a thing for sleeping with men who give her a ride home from bars when she's drunk," Stephanie said as she walked over to me. "Hopefully she doesn't forget sleeping with you like she did when she slept with Ranger."

"Stephanie!" I said, grabbing her hand and giving her a look that hopefully told her to keep her mouth shut.

Connie's face registered a mixture of surprise and realization. "Wait, that actually happened? It was so good, I'd thought it was a dream."

Tank and Lester both avoided looking at me. They knew the off-limits areas, and my sex life was one of them.

"Let's get going," I said, hoping to move everyone away from the subject.

"Wait a hot damn minute," Lula said, looking indignant. "Stephanie gets to have sex with Ranger all the time, and now I find out that Connie got a taste him too? What about me? I'm left out."

"You're engaged," Stephanie said, wrapping her arms around my waist. "You should be happy with what you have."

"Give me a break," Lula said. "Ranger's so good that Connie thought she must be dreaming. I need me a piece of that before I get married and I'm off the market."

"Over my dead body," Tank said at the same time I said "No way in hell", and Stephanie said "Absolutely not!"

"Hmph," Lula said as Tank grabbed her hand and started to pull her across the street. "I guess I'll just have to keep pretending."

Lester and Connie walked behind Stephanie and me as we followed Tank and Lula to the parking lot. Stephanie's hand moved to my ass more than once as we walked.

"Can you control yourself until we're in the car?" I asked her, not wanting to make a scene in front of my employees.

"Sure," she giggled, leaning into me. "Sorry I told Connie. I didn't mean to. It just slipped out."

"I think she's too drunk to care too much at the moment," I said as I steered Stephanie towards the Cayenne.

We pulled out of the lot before the others and headed back towards the house. Stephanie had a hand in my lap and was stroking me through my cargo pants, making me harder with each stroke.

"Can we pull over somewhere?" she asked, leaning in close so that her breath was on my neck. "I can't wait much longer."

"Let's just get home."

"But I want to do it in the Cayenne."

"How about we compromise? I'll pull into the garage, then we can have sex in the Cayenne."

"Deal."

By the time we got into the garage ten minutes later, Stephanie had me so aroused I could barely see straight. I hadn't realized that there was a fine line between drunk-and-horny-as-hell Stephanie and drunk-and-asleep Stephanie. I'd only ever seen the latter. Once I'd turned off the car and shut the garage door, Stephanie had crawled over the console and into the backseat.

"I'm ready to get naked," she said as she started trying to pull her shirt over her head. I got out of the car, opened the back door and climbed in next to her.

"Leave it on. You only need to remove one piece of clothing," I said as I reached up her skirt and removed her blue thong.

We clambered out of the car ten minutes later, adjusting our clothes as to not give the neighbors a show as we walked up to the back door.

"Where are my underwear?" Stephanie asked, looking around the back of the car.

"My pocket," I said, pulling her out and shutting the door.

"That's dirty," Stephanie giggled. "Morelli used to think that you would come into my apartment to finger my underwear when I wasn't home."

"Babe, if I wanted to finger your underwear, I'd have done it while you were wearing them."

"That's exactly what I said! Well, I didn't say it to him, but I said it to myself."

I shook my head as we unlocked the back door and went inside. I didn't especially like the drunk-and-horny-as-hell Stephanie, but I didn't think it likely I'd see this side of her very often. She didn't drink anything other than a beer or a glass of wine in general. Two glasses of wine relaxed her, and two-and-a-half put her to sleep. We didn't keep any hard liquor in the house, which I was coming to realize was a better thing than I would have expected.

I got her upstairs and into bed, where she proceeded to start groping me again. By the time we finished twenty minutes later, she was more mellow and relaxed.

"I've got to show you Lula's rendition of Copacabana," she told me, reaching for her cell phone. "It's hilarious, but it's also why I go so drunk."

She found the video on her phone and handed it to me. I was hesitant to watch, hoping Lula didn't end up half-naked. That wasn't an image I wanted in my brain.

The video started and showed Lula up on a raised stage. Wolf-whistles were ringing out from the people nearby.

"This is the Lula remix of Copacabana," she said, adjusting her shirt. "Wait til you hear this shit."

I heard the familiar music start and Lula raised the microphone to her lips.

" _Her name was Lula. She was a 'ho girl._

 _With yellow Louboutins in the air and her skirt bunched up to there._

 _She loved doughnuts and to show her ta-tas."_

I started laughing and missed the next few lines, picking up again where Lula started the chorus.

" _-at the Cape-Cod, Cape-Codcabana. The hottest spot north of Hamilton._

 _At the Cape Cod, Cape Cod—cabana. Food and passion were always in fashion at the Cape Cod._

 _They fucked on stairs…"_

Stephanie was lying next to me, clutching her sides with laughter. It was kind of funny to watch on the phone, away from the actual experience, but I knew if I'd been in the room when Lula had been singing, I would have shot her.

" _Her name was Josie. She wore fake diamonds._

 _She was whore with ugly hair and she saw Tank standing there._

 _So she said 'fuck it' and walked on over._

 _But Josie was a moron and Lula had to put the hurt on._

 _Then the bullets flew, and bones were smashed in two._

 _There was lots of blood and gunshots 'cause Lula shot that fool."_

I turned off the video, unable to take anymore. What Tank could possibly see in Lula was beyond me. I knew Stephanie was a train wreck at times. She blew up cars and came face-to-face with psychopaths more often than I would have liked, but at least she'd never done a Stark Street remix of a Barry Manilow song.

I got up at five the next morning, took Bob for our normal run and came home to get ready for the day. It was Stephanie's birthday, and her gift was still in my Turbo. I'd left it at the office until the night before because she was far too nosey to trust with it in the house for an extended amount of time. I'd had one of my men bring my car to the house in the night, so I went out and retrieved the slim box containing Stephanie's new iPad from under the driver's seat. I left it in front of the coffee maker, which was always Stephanie's first stop in the morning. I arrived at the office right at six and talked to the various stations in the control room. Nothing of concern had happened at any of our accounts during the night, which was always a good thing. I had just stopped in the break room to get breakfast when Tank walked in, looking like he'd been kicked around the block.

"Will you shoot me?" he asked. "I must be insane to be marrying Lula."

No shit. "Bad night?"

"I didn't think it was possible for her to out-sex me, but she managed it," he replied, reaching for a bottle of water. "I'm dead on my feet."

I fought a smile as I put a bagel in the toaster. Lula had been a professional at one time, so I had little doubt she could be a machine. I was pulling the bagel out of the toaster and adding fat-free cream cheese when Lester walked into the room. His clothes looked wrinkled, leaving little doubt that it was the same uniform he'd worn the day before.

"Santos is doing the Walk of Shame this morning," Tank commented.

"This isn't a Walk of Shame," Lester said with a smile. "This is a Got Laid Parade."

Tanks snorted and shook his head as he left the room. I gathered my breakfast and headed back to my office.

"Hey, Ranger," Lester said as I made it to the door. "You don't have to pay for my work yesterday. Sending me to take Connie home was the best payment I could have ever received."

I blew out a disgusted sigh and left without a word. The last thing I wanted to be known as was a matchmaker.


	36. Crazy in Love

**T-minus seven days...**

"Someone had better be dead."

"What?" I asked sleepily.

I lifted my head off my pillow to find Ranger was sitting up in bed with my cell phone to his ear. I hadn't heard my phone ring, so he'd apparently taken the initiative and answered it.

"If you show up at our door tonight, I'll shoot you. If you two can't work out your problems like adults, then you shouldn't be getting married."

I realized that he was talking to Lula, and I sucked in some air. He was poking the bear.

Ranger blew out a frustrated sigh and glanced over at me. When he realized I was awake, he handed the phone to me.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"Your fiancé is an asshole," Lula huffed.

"What else is going on?"

"Tank doesn't want to write his own vows. He just wants to go with whatever the preacher says."

"Shouldn't you have decided this before now? There's only seven days left until the wedding. Why do you want to write your own vows?"

"Because it's romantic and shit."

That was probably a glimpse into what Lula's wedding vows would look like.

"Is Tank romantic and shit?"

"He can be. It's real romantic when he goes down on me first."

I shuddered and suppressed a gag at the thought.

"So why did you call me in the middle of the night?"

"I wanted to come stay at your house again."

"No way," I said firmly. "I won't stop Ranger from shooting you if you show up. Tell Tank to sleep on the couch if you're mad at him. He sleeps there every night anyway."

I grimaced as I realized I had just let the cat out of the bag. Shit, you can't tell me anything. I caught a glimpse of Ranger in my peripheral vision giving me an exasperated look. Well, the Ranger version of exasperated.

"What do you mean he sleeps there every night?" Lula asked, catching on to what I said.

"I don't know what I just said. I'm half asleep," I lied, hoping she'd buy it. Otherwise, I was afraid Tank might decide to try to kill me, which would mean Ranger would have to kill Tank, and I'd be left to deal with Lula.

"You're weird when you're half asleep," Lula said. "But I'll take your advice and tell him to park his ass on the couch tonight. But how am I going to convince him to write his own vows?"

"I don't know, Lula. If he doesn't want to do it, why force the issue? I can't really see him being the type to write his feelings down on paper and say them to you in front of a room full of people. That's a little flowery, even for a guy who names his cats Suzy, Applepuff and Miss Kitty."

"You've got a point," she said and we disconnected.

"Sorry," I told Ranger as we laid back down. "I don't know why she won't call Connie or show up at her house."

"It's because she knows Connie wouldn't hesitate to shoot her," Ranger replied as he pulled me into him.

 **T-minus four days…**

"WHAT!?" I yelled into my phone. It was 3:13 AM and we'd been awakened by _another_ phone call from Lula.

"What's the matter with you?" Lula asked.

"It's the middle of the night. _Again._ What is so important that it can't wait until at least seven?"

"Tank's brother Paul can't be his best man. He had to have emergency surgery to get his gallbladder taken out, so Tank wants to ask Ranger to be his best man."

"Why didn't you leave this task to Tank? He'll be seeing Ranger at work in a few hours."

"Because I need to know if I have to order Ranger a tux."

"Ranger owns a tuxedo. He won't need to rent one."

"I hadn't thought of that. Nevermind then, I'll see you at work."

"What now?" Ranger asked.

"Tank wants you to be his best man. His brother had emergency surgery and can't do it now."

"He won't want me. I'll be telling him to cut and run from the lunatic."

"You probably shouldn't give advice like that, since he would probably just give it right back to you."

 **T-minus three days…**

The clock said 1:44 AM and the display on my iPhone once again read "Lula". Ranger leaned over me to look at the phone for a second before grabbing it and powering it off.

"What if there's a family emergency?" I asked. "They won't be able to get ahold of me if my phone's off."

"My office would call if 911 was dispatched to your parents' house."

"You just have an answer for everything, don't you?"

"It's this, or I start pulling a Tank and go sleep on the couch after we've had sex."

"Who said we'd be having sex if that's how you're going to be?"

We stared at each other for a good thirty seconds before I blew out a sigh of defeat and snuggled into Ranger.

"I hate Lula right now," I said.

"Me too," Ranger said, wrapping his arms around me. "It's almost over."

 **T-minus one day…the rehearsal**

"This reeks of disaster," I told Ranger as we walked into the hall where Lula and Tank would be getting married. We were there for the rehearsal, which would be followed by dinner at a nice Italian restaurant. I'd been surprised to learn of the restaurant choice, expecting that Lula would just have Cluck-in-a-Bucket doing the catering, but apparently Tank's parents had paid for the rehearsal dinner and wanted something a little more special.

"Look on the bright side—you'll get to call Tank 'Pierre' for the next day without him killing you," Ranger said as we reached the room where the rehearsal would take place.

"If I can do it without laughing, it'll be a miracle."

There were several people in the room already, including Lula and Tank. Or Pierre, as I needed to remember.

"There's my maid of honor and the best man," Lula said, drawing all eyes over to Ranger and me. I heard Ranger expel a small sigh.

Tank was talking to a man and woman that I assumed must be his parents as we approached.

"Mom, Dad, this is my boss, Carlos Manoso and his fiancée, Stephanie Plum. These are my parents, Joseph and Louise Montgomery," Tank said, trying to act calmer than he most likely felt.

"Stephanie is my best friend in the entire world," Lula interjected. "That's why I wanted her to be my maid of honor."

Based on the expressions on their faces, I had the feeling that Lula wasn't exactly the daughter-in-law the Montgomerys would have chosen for their son. I wasn't entirely sure Lula was _anyone's_ ideal anything, but she knew exactly who she was, and you had to admire that, right?,

Connie came in a few minutes after Ranger and me, accompanied by Lester. I'd been surprised to learn that they had really hit it off after Connie's drunken invitation to spend the night last month. It turned out that he wasn't just a sexy smartass, but he was incredibly intelligent. He had been married once before and had a four-year-old daughter that was the highlight of his life. They'd been inseparable since.

"Why did we agree to do this?" Connie asked. "Were we drunk when we said we'd be her bridesmaids?"

"I was on painkillers, so I know my judgment was impaired," I replied.

"What's your excuse?" she asked Ranger. "You were free of this travesty until a couple of days ago. How did Tank convince you to do this?"

"I'd tell you, but I'd have to kill you," Ranger said, pulling me along with him towards the front of the room where the bridal party were being summoned. I had been thankful that things hadn't been awkward between Ranger and Connie after I let it slip that they'd slept together. Connie hadn't brought it up to me, nor did she act like she was concerned about it.

We went through the routine of everyone's trip down the aisle without too much incident. Lula had no idea who her father was and her mother had died when she was a child. The only elder family member she had was an uncle named Earl, who was giving her away. He looked to be about Grandma Mazur's age and was a complete smartass. The pastor performing the ceremony was a friend of Tank's parents and seemed intimidated by Lula, almost cowering every time she spoke. The rehearsal only took thirty minutes, since the ceremony was going to be short. Lula had given up on getting Tank to write his own vows and was going to recite the vows the pastor had prepared. They were skipping the "frilly crap" as Lula called it with unity candles and music while they stared into each other's eyes. It was a simple walk down the aisles, a couple of "I do" responses and back down the aisle to the Cajun buffet that was being catered for the reception.

The rehearsal dinner went a little less smoothly than the actual rehearsal. Lula's uncle Earl got trashed and started trying to do a strip tease for Tank's ninety-year-old grandmother, who was slightly senile and seemed to enjoy it. Connie and Lester were having trouble keeping their hands to themselves after a couple of glasses of wine, and I suspected at one point he was diddling her under the tablecloth because her eyes started rolling back in her head and she let out a little moan. He had a cat-that-ate-the-canary grin on his face and I could see his forearm flexing through his shirt. The evening turned incredibly awkward when Lula began talking about her past profession as a 'ho. Louise Montgomery had nearly fainted and Joseph had bit his lip to keep from smiling.

"Carlos, my son tells me you were an Army Ranger," Joseph said while his wife tried to recover from the shock of learning that their future daughter-in-law had once been a streetwalker. "I was in the 2nd Ranger Battalion in the early Eighties."

"75th Regiment during Operation Iraqi Freedom," Ranger replied. Joseph looked impressed about this information.

"It's always good to meet a fellow Ranger. My son had go on and join _the Navy_ ," Joseph said as though it was uncertain as to whether the Navy actually existed.

"I was a SEAL," Tank interrupted. "That's just as good as you two being Rangers. Actually, it's better. No one goes around saying SEALs get dogs pregnant."

"What do you mean?" Lula asked. "How would Rangers get dogs pregnant?"

"Army Rangers are the whores of the Armed Forces. They're known for sleeping around so much that the joke is they get dogs pregnant," Tank replied, looking over at his father and boss.

Louise turned to stare at her husband at the same time that I turned to stare at Ranger. Joseph took a long swig of wine to avoid looking at his wife, and Ranger just grinned at me.

"You told me you'd been with forty-six women during your time in the Army," I whispered to Ranger. "Was that the truth, or another lie to keep me from freaking out?"

"It was the truth," he replied, putting an arm around me. "But if I hadn't gotten Rachel pregnant and been married to her for the better part of a year, that number would have been much higher."

"So Rangers really arethe whores of the Armed Forces?"

"Pretty much."

Connie and Lester were the first people to make their exit from the dinner, undoubtedly wanting to move on to more horizontal activities, and Ranger and I followed them out after bidding everyone a good night.

"I'm bringing a bottle of champagne for us to drink while we get ready tomorrow," Connie said once we made it out to the parking lot. "We're going to need to be a little hammered to get through this wedding."

"Tank has a flask of tequila ready for tomorrow," Ranger said. "I may need to get one of my own."

"It'll all be over in less than twenty-four hours," I reminded everyone. "We just have to survive the wedding."

"Easier said than done," Ranger replied as he opened my car door.

Connie, Lula and I arrived at the hall at two o'clock to start getting ready for the wedding. Lula had gone to her cousin's salon to have her hair, make-up and nails done, but Connie and I had passed on going with her and had done our own. Lula's nails were painted to match the color of our dresses and her hair was done in an elaborate up-do with orange rhinestones sewn into her weave. There was an elaborate tiara that would be put on at the last minute.

Getting Lula into her dress was another story. She'd had purchased her strapless gown from a "boutique" on Stark Street and the alterations had been done by a woman who had the shakes from years of being lost inside a bottle of gin. The hemline was so jagged that Connie and I spent half an hour on our knees pinning the hem to be even so that Lula wouldn't trip as she walked down the aisle. We spent another half hour trying to squeeze Lula into her dress without all of the buttons popping off. In the end, we managed to get her into the dress, but half of her boobs were spilling out of the top, along with a fat roll that went the entire way around the dress.

By three fifty-five, Connie and I were dressed in our orange bridesmaid dresses and had put away the entire bottle of champagne. There was a knock on the door and I walked over to answer it to find Earl waiting for us.

"Are we ready to get this party started?" he asked, swaying slightly and grabbing onto the door frame for support.

"You bet!" I said excitedly, grabbing Lula's bouquet of orange roses and throwing it to her. "Let's rock and roll!"

"You're shit-faced," Lula said, catching the flowers I threw at her. "You'd better not pass out during the wedding."

"I won't pass out," I said, picking up my own flowers. "I'm really not drunk. Just relaxed."

"Me too," Connie said, looking a little wobbly on her heels. "I'm not drunk, but if I mount Lester during the ceremony, just keep going. We'll try to be quiet."

We headed out of the dressing room and towards the hall, where we could hear music playing from speakers in the room.

"I decided to change the song that plays when while we walk down the aisle," Lula said as we reached the closed doors. "It's Beyoncé's _Crazy in Love_."

Connie and I looked at each other for a full thirty seconds before we both burst out laughing as the reality of what was happening penetrated our champagne-soaked brains.

"Would you two shut up and start walking," Lula said, pushing us forwards towards the doors, which had just been opened up and exposed the waiting wedding guests.

Connie and I pulled it together and walked down the aisle, emitting squeaks of laughter a couple of times as we made our way towards the front. Ranger was standing next to Tank and fighting a smile as he watched me walk down the aisle. I winked at him as I reached the elevated landing and took my place in time to see Lula and Earl walking into the room. I scanned the crowd while they made their way towards us, clearly able to identify who was there from Tank's family and who was a friend of Lula's. I avoided looking at Connie or Ranger because I knew if I did that I would burst out laughing again, and I was afraid of Lula's wrath if I ruined her wedding.

I managed to make it through most of the ceremony without laughing, but when one of Lula's buttons flew off her dress and smacked me in the forehead, I lost it. I was doubled over, clutching my sides as I struggled to breathe. Connie was also laughing hysterically and Ranger was smiling as we watched us act like idiots.

"Are you two done?" Lula asked impatiently as Connie and I worked to pull ourselves together. I spent the last five minutes of the ceremony biting on my bottom lip, and I heard Connie snort a couple of times in an effort to not completely crack up again.

"I'm going to assume that you two drank the champagne before the ceremony," Ranger said as we walked together down the aisle after Lula and Tank were pronounced husband and wife.

"So the song and the button weren't as funny as we thought?" I asked. "We were just shit-faced?"

"No, those things were hilarious. Your inhibitions were just relaxed enough that you couldn't pretend like the rest of us."

"Tank managed really well today," I commented, realizing that he hadn't been sweating or looking like he was ready to jump out of a window during the ceremony. In fact, he'd looked relaxed and happy.

"That's because he's stoned," Ranger said quietly. "He asked me this morning if he could smoke a joint before the wedding to help him get through it without panicking. I told him anyone marrying Lula deserved a medal, so not drug-testing him at work for the next month was the least I could do."

"Damn it, that's what Connie and I needed. Why didn't you call us?"

"Babe, I've seen you high. Remember when you and Lula burned down that pot farm and had people from three states coming to the Burg? You were actually much worse than you are right now."

By the time the reception got started, some of my champagne buzz had started to wear off. Lula was too busy socializing and enjoying the spotlight to be pissed off at Connie and me for falling apart during the ceremony. The buffet was opened and there was a mad dash by the crowd to start piling up their plates. Everyone was seated at large round tables, with eight people seated at each. Our table included Tank, Lula, Connie, Tank's cousin Michael, Joseph, Louise, Ranger and me. I was seated between Lula and Ranger, and was just thinking that the reception was going well until Lula nudged me.

"It's time for you two to give your speeches."

"I didn't know we were supposed to be giving speeches," I said, looking back at Ranger. "Did you?"

"No."

"It's tradition. Geez, you'd think you two have never been to a wedding before," Lula said, shaking her head at us.

"Where in tradition does Beyoncé come in as the processional?" I retorted.

"So you're telling me that you're not going to give a speech for your best friends?" Lula asked, looking hurt.

"I don't give public speeches," Ranger said. Tank did not look at all offended by Ranger's refusal. He nodded his understanding.

"Didn't you speak at your friend's funeral last year?" Lula asked. "That was a public speech."

"Unless you kill Tank this evening, I'm not doing it."

"I'll do it for the both of us," I said, emitting a defeated sigh. "Because Ranger is _my_ best friend, and I'd do anything for him."

"Babe," Ranger said, kissing me above the ear.

I smiled at him and stood up, picking up my glass of water. No more champagne for this lush.

"Hey, everyone!" I shouted over the cacophony of noise. The room immediately fell silent, as though I'd just fired a bullet into the ceiling. I'd never had that effect on a group before.

I cleared my throat and took a sip of water before I started to speak. "I just wanted to thank you all for coming out to celebrate Ta —Pierre's and Lula's wedding day," I said, fighting laughter again at using Tank's real name. "As the maid of honor, I am informed that it is my duty to give a toast to the couple. Lula and I met under unusual circumstances at points in our lives that were not the best for either of us. We were just trying to get by and were taking one day at a time. Since then, we've been through a lot of really great times together, and a lot of not-so-great times," I said, remembering the day when I found Lula beaten to a pulp and tied to my fire escape. I felt tears start pricking my eyes.

"Shit," I whispered, trying to pull myself together. I did not want to become emotional in front of their friends and family. I felt Ranger run his hand along my leg and it helped me to focus again.

"But through it all, Lula has been a wonderful friend and terrific sidekick. We may be the Lucy and Ethel of bond enforcement, but we get the job done and make the men who love us laugh at the same time. Pierre is the strong, silent type, but he'll have your back if you need him. And if he can love a woman who is as full of life as Lula, I'm not sure there's anything he can't do. I wish Pierre and Lula all the luck and love in the world as they start their lives together."

The crowd applauded and I took my seat, reaching for Ranger's champagne. "I need a real drink."

"Lucy, you about made me cry," Lula said, sniffling as she pulled me into a tight hug.

I hugged her back. "Yeah, whatever Ethel. Next time you get married, tell me ahead of time to prepare a speech."

Lula and Tank moved on to do their first dance as a couple a few minutes later, and I focused my attention on Ranger.

"How are you doing?" I asked, rubbing his arm. "I know these social situations are not your idea of a good time."

"It's been better than I thought it would be," Ranger said. "Very entertaining."

"It makes me _not_ want to have a wedding," I informed him. "Even though ours would be nothing like this."

"I agree. It's a lot of effort, and for what? A few hours? We've already got that party Celia's throwing on New Year's Eve," he said, taking a sip of his champagne. "That feels like planning a wedding."

I nodded, but didn't respond because an idea was forming in my brain, but I couldn't quite grasp onto what it was for a minute. Once I'd figured it out, I gasped and grabbed Ranger's arm. "That's it!"

"What?"

"Let's get married at the party!"

"Are you serious? Aren't you afraid our families will turn it into a circus if they know we're going to get married?"

"Then we won't tell them," I said excitedly. "We'll surprise everyone. We just have to find someone that can marry us. It'll be simple, but everyone we want to be there would be. I know they are hoping that we'll have either eloped by then, or will use that night to announce a date. It would be perfect!"

Ranger considered the idea for a moment. "I like it. It gets us out of a big, expensive wedding that neither of us really want, and we won't suffer years of guilt trips from our families for getting married without them. And I have a friend that's a judge in Newark who's already on the guest list. I'll talk to him about officiating."

"We have a plan for getting married," I said, feeling a little dazed by how sudden it had all come over me. "But we tell no one, unless they are integral to getting it pulled off."

Ranger and I managed to leave the reception at seven o'clock that night, a whole ninety minutes after Connie and Lester had disappeared for parts unknown. Bob bolted past us as we walked in the back door, tinkled in the yard, and ran back inside. He was all business.

We changed out of our wedding clothes into sweats before heading downstairs. I grabbed the iPad that Ranger had given me for a birthday present and unlocked it as we settled on the couch. The Skype icon told me I had a message, which turned out to be from Julie.

 **Are you home to chat?**

Another message followed ten minutes later.

 **I guess not. I'll try again later.**

"Oh crap!" I said, smacking myself on the forehead. "I just remembered something—Julie won't be at the party next month."

"Yeah, I know," Ranger said. "I thought about it on the drive home."

"Do you think Rachel would let her come up?"

"Rachel and Ron always take the kids on vacation during Christmas. They can't really get away in the summertime because that's Ron's busiest time at work, so they always leave Christmas Eve and spend Christmas and the New Year on vacation. I'm not sure where they are going this year."

"Why don't we find out if Julie can come up for a few days so that she can be there for the party?" I suggested. "We could even ask about her coming for Christmas, if Rachel and Ron would be open to that."

Ranger shook his head. "No."

"Why not?" I asked, flabbergasted that Ranger wouldn't even try. This was a man that had never really taken no for an answer for anything with the exception of sexual consent.

"Because I don't have the right to ask that of them," Ranger said.

"But she's your daughter, and things were great when she was up here during the summer."

"Biologically, yes she's my daughter. But legally, I gave up those rights. When I agreed to let Ron adopt Julie, it was with the understanding that I would still pay support because I cannot live in this world with my child in it and not support her financially. They agreed that they wanted me to be a part of her life, and that I would have contact as invited by Rachel. But neither of us legally has had to hold up our ends of the bargain, but their end has much more weight. They don't really need my money, but they could tell me one day to never contact Julie again, and I'd have to comply because the law is not on my side. I am at their mercy when it comes to seeing my daughter, so I am always careful to never ask anything or do anything that might upset them. After Scrog kidnapped Julie, I was terrified that they would cut off contact. I was floored when they said Julie wanted to increase it, and they agreed that she should. Julie has been the one to initiate the extra contact and the one who asked about the visit up here this summer. I would never do that."

"I can't believe you're giving up that easily!" I cried out. "You trust Rachel and Ron to raise your daughter, but you don't think you can ask them a simple favor on this one occasion without them removing their consent for you to see her?"

"I don't think they would cut me out of her life completely, but Rachel is not in a particularly good place right now because of her pregnancy. When I visited last month, she spent half an hour yelling at me because Julie had been a smartass about something earlier in the day. Then she spent twenty minutes crying while she apologized. I'm afraid she might make some irrational remarks or decisions if she got upset right now. I'm looking out for Julie more than myself."

I didn't quite believe that. I had no doubt he was trying to save Julie from getting her hopes up or getting her feelings hurt, but I had the feeling that he was protecting his own hopes and feelings as much as hers.

"Then we'll get married another time," I said, shrugging. "Julie would be devastated if she couldn't be there."

"No, I still want us to get married next month," Ranger said matter-of-factly. "We'll just have to make it up to Julie somehow."

"How in the world can we make it up to her that she didn't get to see us get married?" I asked incredulously. "It's not like missing out on a concert."

"I don't know," Ranger said, and his tone told me that I needed to end the conversation before it turned into a fight. I cuddled into his chest as we relaxed on the couch and watch the evening news, but the wheels were spinning in my brain. Ranger's determination may stop short in this situation, but not mine. I wasn't going to stop trying to get Julie to our wedding unless I had a no from Rachel.


	37. I've Got My Love To Keep Me Warm

Planning a surprise that involved picking up a teenager from an airport in a different city on Christmas Eve, and keeping it all hidden from a man who could find Jimmy Hoffa if he were bored enough proved to be the challenge of a lifetime.

I'd been nervous when I had called Rachel to ask about Julie's visit. I told her about the wedding plans, but asked that she not tell Julie, lest she would slip up and tell Katrina, then the word would spread through the family like wildfire. Rachel had loved the idea and had even been the one to suggest that Julie should come up for Christmas as well. Because Rachel was only six weeks away from her due date, she couldn't travel far so they were taking the kids to Disney World for their vacation. Julie hadn't been especially excited about going, feeling that she was too old for the place. The trip to Jersey was going to be a present for her as well as Ranger, so Rachel and Ron weren't telling her she was coming until the night before she was due to leave. I had to arrange the flight details so that she could fly up with Grandma Bella, which was easier than arranging an unaccompanied minor transport up to Newark. They would arrive on Christmas Eve, and I'd volunteered Ranger and myself to pick them up on our way to his parents' house. What Ranger didn't know was I was going to ditch him at his parents' and go to the airport alone to pick up Bella and Julie. Bella was the only person in on the surprise of Julie's visit, but I hadn't told her about the wedding. The fewer people told secrets, the less likely they were to get spread around.

The anniversary of Ranger's captivity and sexual assault in Somalia rolled around during the time that I was working on Julie's and Bella's travel arrangements. I'd noticed Ranger becoming more distant and quiet as the time came around and passed, but my attempts to get him to talk about how he was feeling were met with excuses, extra-long working hours and short replies. I even noticed our sex life taking a toll. Typically, we had sex about four nights a week, but the frequency had been slowly decreasing to the point where we had gone an entire week without sex.

"Are you ready to go?" I asked Ranger, anxious to get out the door. Normally the roles were reversed, with him rushing me out the door while I put in earrings or changed my shoes, but I was on the ball today. I was also worried he'd find out about Julie coming before I could surprise him.

"Yes, I am," he said, pulling on his coat. "You're in a hurry today."

"Well, there's been a change in plans," I told him, grabbing the keys to the Cayenne from the hook. "I'm driving as well because you are going to your parents' house and I am going to the airport to pick up Grandma Bella by myself."

Ranger gave me a quizzical look. "Why are you going alone?"

"Because your grandmother has my Christmas present for you with her, and I don't want you to see it at the airport. I'll have to give it to you at your parents' house because it's too big to hide and get home without you seeing tonight."

"Why is my grandmother bringing your gift to me with her?"

"Because I couldn't get it around here, and worried that it may not get here in time for Christmas if I had it shipped. Plus, it's fragile and it might get damaged in baggage claim, so she's bringing it on the plane."

Ranger shook his head and held the door for me as we walked out to our vehicles. I followed him to Newark, but he got off on the exit that would take him to his parents' house and I continued on to the exit that would take me to the airport. It took me forty extra minutes to get to there because of traffic, and the flight tracker app I'd installed on my phone told me that their plane had landed on time. I would just get into the airport when they would likely be getting their luggage. I took a drive through the drop-off/pick-up zone when I arrived at their terminal and saw them coming outside. I honked at them and pulled to the curb, getting out of the car to help them load their suitcases.

"Stephanie!" Julie said, hugging me tightly. "I cannot believe you and my mom arranged all of this! Does my dad have any idea?"

"Nope," I said, hugging Bella. "He has no clue. It's great. I've worked so hard to keep him in the dark on this."

It took us forty minutes to get back to the Manosos' house, during which time we outlined our plan of surprise. Bella would go in ahead of us and get the hugs and hellos out of the way before herding everyone into the family room so that no one would see Julie before Ranger. She was kind of a present for them as well. Then Ranger would call my phone to tell me that I could come in with his present.

I helped Bella get her suitcase up to the back door and went back to the car and sat with Julie, anxiously awaiting our phone call.

"Hurry up people!" Julie said after five minutes. "I can't stand the waiting."

"Me neither," I replied, bouncing my knees. I had never been so excited to surprise someone before. I wasn't sure if it was just because it was Ranger —who was rarely surprised—or if it was because the surprise was something so special.

After another five minutes, my cell phone rang out with Ranger's ringtone.

"Grandma said I'm supposed to call you to tell you that you can come inside now," he said, sounding a bit exasperated.

"Do you have any idea what your gift could possibly be?" I asked.

"Not a clue," he replied. "I'm not sure what you could buy me that would be so exciting."

"You'll find out in a minute," I said and disconnected. "Let's go, Julie."

The configuration of the Manosos' first floor was set up so that we had to go through the kitchen and the dining room to get to the family room, which was rectangular with the entrance towards the far end from the seating area. I peeked around the corner of the kitchen to make sure no one was standing in a position to see Julie walk in behind me. I gestured for her to stay against the wall near the entrance to the family room for a minute.

There were two large couches and a couple of easy chairs situated in a conversational style in the family room, where most of the adults were sitting. Lucy and Emilio were sitting on the floor with the twins and Ranger was leaning against the far wall near the fireplace. His eyes fell on me and there was a bemused on his face.

"Are you ready for your gift?" I asked, barely able to contain my excitement.

"I guess," Ranger said, nonchalantly. He clearly had no idea that his gift could be something so huge.

I grabbed Julie's hand and pulled her into the room, which made most of the women in the room shriek with joyful surprise. My attention was focused solely on Ranger, who was unable to hide the shocked expression that came across his face when he saw his daughter.

"Merry Christmas, Dad," Julie said, beaming at Ranger and walking over to him.

He pulled her into a hug, his eyes never leaving mine, but there something in his expression that made me feel uneasy. I'd been almost jittery with excitement all day at the thought of surprising Ranger with Julie's visit, but now I feeling something completely opposite, almost like dread. I felt myself getting emotional, so I quietly left the room and went down to the bathroom. I shut the door behind me and leaned up against it, working to pull myself together. Was Ranger upset with me for bringing Julie up to Jersey? I knew he'd been adamant about not asking Rachel himself, but I hadn't felt that it could hurt anything for me to ask if she could come up for a couple days for New Year's Eve. If she'd said no, I would have understood and moved on. I had made it clear to Rachel that he'd had no idea that I was calling her about it, so it wouldn't have come back on him.

You're probably overreacting, I told myself. It was probably just the shock of seeing Julie and you're reading into things.

I took a few deep breaths, washed my hands and checked my hair and make-up before opening the door. I had barely taken a step out when I registered Ranger's presence. He was leaning against wall on the opposite side of the hallway and there was no mistaking his mood. He was pissed off.

"When I said I wasn't going to call Rachel to ask about Julie coming up, I meant that for you too," he said, and his tone was deadly calm.

"All I did was call her to ask—," I began, but Ranger cut me off.

"You shouldn't have called her at all, Stephanie," he interrupted. "This is _my_ daughter, and when it comes to our involvement in her life, _my_ say is final."

I could feel my throat constricting and my blood pressure rising. I was disappointed, hurt and angry by his reaction, especially by his domineering attitude and not letting me explain myself. Who the hell did he think he was? I'd put a lot of work and money into arranging this surprise for him, and now it was blowing up in my face. I had hoped it would bring him out of the dark mood he'd been in since going through the first anniversary of being assaulted, but I had failed.

"If you would shut up and listen for a minute, I can explain the situation," I said, putting my hands on my hips and pulling on my best stubborn Hungarian expression. "I called Rachel, explained our plans for New Year's Eve and asked if she would consider letting Julie come up for a couple of days. I would pay for everything, and I even volunteered to fly down to get her and to fly back to Miami with her. _Rachel_ was the one who brought up the idea of her coming for Christmas because Julie wasn't especially excited about their vacation plans, and Rachel thought it might be a nice present for Julie to be able to come up here for Christmas. So this isn't just a present for you, but one for her as well."

I felt the tears starting to well up at that point, but fought through them. "I put a lot of work into this. Do you know how hard it is to keep something secret from you? But don't worry, I won't make the mistake of going against your _final word_ again."

With that, I left the hallway and headed back to the family room, where everyone else was happily talking to Julie and enjoying each other's company. I put up what I felt was a decent effort to act as happy as everyone else, even though I felt sick. I kept my distance from Ranger over the next few hours, helping Lola and Rosa in the kitchen, helping Celia set the tables and playing with Layla and Liam, who actually sat with me without crying. Julie was busy hanging out with Katrina, chatting animatedly about favorite actors and musicians. I could feel Ranger's eyes on me the entire day, but I refused to make eye contact. By dinner, I was exhausted from my charade and wasn't sure how much longer I could keep going. I felt sick to my stomach and my head was throbbing. I served myself small portions of everything, not feeling hungry but not wanting to make it apparent that something was wrong. I was contemplating whether I could leave early without drawing too much attention to myself when Aurelia stood up.

"I have an announcement to make," she said as dessert was being put on the table. "John and I are going to be having a baby in June."

There was a brief moment of stunned silence before everyone started congratulating the couple. John, amazingly enough, had put down his Blackberry during the announcement and looked pleased to be sharing the news of his growing family.

"I can't believe it!" Sofia cried happily. "We were going to announce today that we're having another baby in July."

"Oh my goodness," Lola said, embracing her daughters in turn. "All these grandchildren coming at once! It's so wonderful. Stephanie, Carlos, I expect a similar announcement from the two of you by next Christmas."

"Don't get your hopes up, Mom," Ranger replied, looking in my direction while I focused my attention on the cake sitting in the middle of the table.

"Can you at least announced that you've gotten married?" Celia asked, looking hopeful.

Ranger shook his head. "Nope. But we will announce the date we've settled on at the dinner next week."

The family pressed us to tell them the date, but we continued to say that they'd have to wait and hear it when everyone else did. While the men did the traditional post-dinner clean-up, I pulled Celia aside while I grabbed my coat and purse.

"I'm not feeling well," I explained. "I think I'm going to bail early and go home to rest, but I don't want Carlos and Julie to think they have to come with me. Will you tell them in a while that I left, but that I want them to stay and go to Mass with the family?"

"Sure," Celia said, looking concerned. "Do you need anything? You could always go lay down upstairs."

"I'm sure I'll be fine in the morning, but I'd rather not stay around in case it's something that I can pass on to the babies or all the pregnant ladies in the house."

Celia continued to look at me as though she didn't quite believe what I was saying. "Is everything okay between you and Carlos? I thought I saw you to talking in the hallway earlier and you looked upset."

"We're great," I lied. "Tell everyone I said Merry Christmas and sorry that I had to leave early."

We hugged and I slipped out the back door while the men's backs were to me. I climbed in the Cayenne and pulled out of the driveway, relieved to have some space. I knew it was passive-aggressive to leave without a word to Ranger, but I wasn't in a mood to care at that point. I just wanted to go home, get into my pajamas, and wash down some Advil with wine and Tastykakes while I watched _Love Actually._

I was about halfway back to Trenton when my cell phone rang and the caller ID told me it was Ranger. I ignored the call and continued to drive. I heard the phone ding with a text message, which I didn't take the time to read until I'd stopped at a traffic light in Trenton fifteen minutes later. It read _**Call me**_ _._

I didn't reply to the message, nor did I call him back. I had tried to understand his point of view on the whole situation, but found I really couldn't. Had I harassed Rachel or challenged her if she'd said no, I could have understood his anger, but neither of those things had happened. She'd been as excited about the arrangement as I was, and had been the one to suggest the longer visit.

Ranger tried to call me again half an hour later, just as I was settling down on the couch with my wine and snacks. I ignored the phone call again, and hit the play button on the DVD player remote before pouring myself a large glass of wine. My cell phone buzzed with another text message from Ranger.

 _ **If I don't hear from you in the next ten minutes, I'm coming home.**_

Shit, that was not what I wanted. I waited eight and a half minutes to formulate a reply while I polished off my wine.

 **I'm perfectly fine at home. Stay with your family.**

I knew my text would aggravate him, and within thirty seconds of sending the message, my phone was ringing.

"What do you want?"

"Why did you leave without telling me?" Ranger asked.

"Because I didn't want you and Julie to think you needed to come too. I asked Celia to tell you this."

"She did, but I don't appreciate having to find out that you've left from someone other than you."

"You don't appreciate a lot of things," I snapped. "Get off the phone and go enjoy your time with your family."

I hung up the phone before he could respond and turned up the television while I refilled my glass of wine. I was drowsy by the time I finished my second glass of wine and fell asleep on the couch by ten, just as Hugh Grant was preparing to go after the catering girl that he'd fallen in love with. I was awakened by the feeling of a hand on my shoulder. I opened my eyes to see Ranger sitting on the edge of the couch, his expression unreadable.

"What time is it?"

"It's just after midnight. Julie was tired, so we skipped Mass and came home," he replied. "We need to talk, Stephanie."

"You've made your point, Ranger. I don't need to hear it again," I replied, sitting up and moving to get up from the couch. I could hear Julie upstairs, leaving the office and walking over to the bathroom. I started to stand, but was pulled back down to my seat.

"I need to apologize, Stephanie," he said, which made my eyebrows shoot up into my hairline. Apologizing wasn't something Ranger did often.

"You worked hard to surprise me and instead of thanking you, I acted like an ungrateful jackass," he said, running his thumb across my cheekbone. "I don't have any excuse for acting the way I did."

"No shit."

I stood up and took the wine bottle and glass into the kitchen. I knew Ranger meant it when he said he was sorry, and I was aware that much of it was to do with the fact that he hadn't coped well with the memories of a year ago, but his words and attitude from earlier still hurt. It had ruined my day and the excitement I'd had over the surprise visit. I just wanted to go to bed and forget about all of it, hoping that I'd wake up in a better mood on Christmas morning. After I put the wine bottle in the refrigerator and the glass in the dishwasher, I turned to leave the kitchen and found Ranger leaning against the back of the couch while he watched me.

"You've been in a bad place this past month," I told him. "I've tried to get you to talk to me, but you wouldn't. I was hoping that spending time with Julie would help you."

Ranger reached out and grabbed my hand, pulling me along with him as he headed upstairs. We walked into our bedroom, where he shut and locked the door behind us.

"It has been harder than I thought it would be," he said as he started undressing. "But it hasn't just been what happened in Somalia. Everything we've been through this past year has become overwhelming this month, especially as we get closer to getting married."

I felt my stomach lurch. "Are you changing your mind about getting married?"

"No, I'm not, but I've been thinking about what I might have missed had I not made it out of there alive. I've also been thinking about what our life would be like if I _hadn't_ gone through that. To be honest, I don't think I would have been ready to get married if I hadn't been through that experience, and the situation with Diana back in the spring probably would have been the end of our relationship."

I felt breathless at the thought of what might have otherwise been.

"I hadn't thought of things that way before," I told him. "But you're right. What you went through really changed us."

He nodded. "I've been having nightmares again, and I've been more worried about your safety since you got shot. And I still hate myself for letting them get me to that point."

My heart sank in my chest and I walked over to Ranger, putting my arms around his waist and resting my head on his chest.

"It wasn't your fault," I told him. "You did what you had to do to survive. Otherwise, they have just killed you, and then I wouldn't be getting to marry you next week."

"Logically, I know that, but it's still hard at times," he replied, stroking my hair. "Thank you for bringing Julie here. I've never spent Christmas with her, and I'm glad she'll be able to see us get married. And I'm sorry for hurting you today."

"You're welcome, and I forgive you," I told him. "But it stings a little still. Can you understand that?"

"Yes."

We climbed into bed and Ranger pulled me into him, holding me close as I drifted off to sleep. I woke up the next morning when sunlight started streaming through the windows and found him still in bed with me, fast asleep.

I looked over at the clock, which told me it was nearly nine o'clock in the morning.

"Ranger?"

"What?"

"Aren't you supposed to be at work? It's nine o'clock."

Ranger opened his eyes slowly. "Nope. I took the day off."

I studied him for a minute. "Is that a joke?"

"No."

"I didn't know that you knew how to take a day off."

"I arranged for someone to work in my place. I wanted to spend the day with my family. Is that a problem?"

"Of course not," I said, snuggling into him. "I love that you're going to be home. I'm just shocked."

"Merry Christmas."

"Is this my present?"

"Part of it," he said, tilting my chin up so that he could kiss me. "The other part is that you and I are going to be spending the seventh through the seventeenth of January in Costa Rica. No work, no family, no dog. Just us, sex, alcohol, and the beach."

I sat up in bed and looked down at Ranger. "No way! Are you serious?"

He nodded. "I've been planning it for a while. It worked out well that we planned to get married on New Year's Eve. We can consider it our honeymoon."

I was in total shock for a good thirty seconds. Ricardo Carlos Manoso, workaholic, had not only taken a day off, but planned a vacation for us. The man was full of surprises.

"This is amazing," I said, giving him a kiss. "Thank you."

Ranger pulled me back down to him and slid a hand up my shirt. I had just moved to straddle him and had pulled my shirt over my head when we heard a _thump_ in the hallway.

"Ow," Julie groaned. "Calm down, Bob."

"Are you all right, Julie?" Ranger asked.

"Yeah, the dog tripped me," she mumbled. "I'm good."

I blew out a sigh and reached for my shirt. "Rain check."

"Why?"

"I can't have sex with you when I know Julie is awake and walking around," I replied, climbing out of bed.

"I don't think she's going to be listening at the door."

"It doesn't matter."

"Well, something needs to happen," Ranger said as he sat up on the side of the bed. "I can't leave the room like this."

"Can't you take care of it yourself?"

"It'd be more fun it you took care of it."

"Fine," I said, kneeling on the floor beside the bed. "But it needs to be quick."

"Trust me," Ranger said, gasping slightly as I put my mouth on him. "It will be."

We loaded into the Cayenne and drove to my parents' house later that afternoon. It was nice having Ranger home and relaxed all day. Julie had talked to her parents and siblings on Skype, telling us afterwards how happy she was to be in Trenton instead of the Magic Kingdom.

My parents' house was in full-on manic mode when we arrived. The younger three girls were running around like lunatics, but Angie was sitting in the living room reading a book while my dad watched television. Ranger and Julie stayed in there while I moved on to the kitchen to attempt to provide some assistance with dinner.

"You need to add a place," I informed my mother. "I surprised Ranger and brought Julie up for Christmas."

"What a wonderful surprise," Grandma Mazur said, peeking out the kitchen door and waving at Julie. "I'm sure Angie will like having another girl her age here."

After that, my input fell on deaf ears. I offered to help with the ham, but my mom said she had it covered. I volunteered to set the table, but Grandma was on it. I went to the living room and sat down next to Ranger for a minute and watched the football game that had just started. My mother subsequently yelled that I should be in the kitchen helping like my sister was. I gave Ranger a can-you-believe-this-shit look. He kissed me above the ear and squeezed my knee.

"Tradition, babe. Don't fight it."

"At least your family traditions make some sort of sense," I groaned, standing up and making my way back to the kitchen, where I stood around like third base for the next two hours.

We sat down to dinner, prayed and dove into the food. My father was anxious to get back to his television, undoubtedly glad that he'd joined the twenty-first century and purchased a DVR so he could pause the game. Valerie was working to making sure the little girls didn't wear most of their food and Albert was trying to drum up business.

"Do you need a new lawyer to represent Rangeman?" Albert asked Ranger. "I've mostly been doing family and criminal law, but I've been studying a lot of corporate law. I want to be able to build up more business."

"I already have a lawyer," Ranger replied politely.

"Who? Is he as good as me?" Albert asked eagerly. I bit my lip to keep from smiling.

"John Wolowski."

"Oh wow," Albert said, looking awe-struck. "He's the best. I bet he's expensive."

"He's worth the cost."

"Well, if you ever need another lawyer, like if John retires or something, you can call me. It would be so cool to be able to say that I represent my brother-in-law's big security company."

Ranger paused momentarily with his fork halfway to his mouth, and a pained look crossed his face. I hid behind my napkin so that no one else would see me laughing.

"You didn't stop to think about being Albert Kloughn's brother-in-law, did you?" I asked in a whisper. "You've been more focused on being related to my grandmother. Which is worse?"

"I'm not sure."

"You should have thought that through before you asked me to marry you."

"You proposed to me, Stephanie."

"You told me you were planning on it and had a ring. I just sped things up," I replied.

"You look ready to bolt," my father commented to Ranger. "Don't leave me here alone with these nuts."

"Hey, what about me?" I asked my dad. "I'm not a nut."

My father and Ranger exchanged a glance that told me the jury was out on whether I was part of the nutty group. I smacked Ranger on the arm and gave my father a dirty look, making them both grin.

"When are you two going to set a date for the wedding?" my mother asked. "You' been engaged for almost six months. People are going to start thinking you aren't getting married."

"Considering I got shot two weeks after we got engaged, I think we should be given a little slack," I told her. "Besides, we have a date set and will announce it to everyone at the party next week."

"Well, when is it?"

"We'll announce it to _everyone_ at the party, including the family," I said. "We didn't tell the Manosos yesterday when they asked, so we aren't going to tell you."

"But we need to book a hall as soon as we can," my mother said, looking panicked. "They fill up so fast."

"We've taken care of that already too," I informed her. "Don't worry about it."

"Where is it going to be?"

I blew out a sigh and barely resisted the urge to bang my head on the table. "It's going to be in Newark. That's all I'll tell you for now. You'll find out the rest of the details next week."

My mother and grandmother both gasped. A Burg girl not getting married in the Burg was almost unheard of.

"Why in Newark?" Grandma Mazur asked. "We've got lots of places around here to get married."

"Because it's the decision we made," Ranger answered, which shut everyone up on the matter. He was able to speak with an authority that I lacked.

Having Julie around turned out to be a terrific excuse to leave my parents' early. The little girls were playing loudly with their new toys and Angie still had her nose stuck in a book. Julie had been trying to engage Angie in conversation all afternoon, but unless the conversation was about Jane Austen, Angie wasn't interested. Angie was twelve going on fifty.

Grandma Mazur, tipsy from too much wine, tried to grab Ranger's ass as she hugged us all and wished us a Merry Christmas. He managed to avoid it by grabbing her arms just in time.

"Edna, I'm marrying your granddaughter. Don't you think it's time to stop trying to grope me?"

"Well, you aren't married to her yet," Grandma said with a wink.

"Let's not make him want to change his mind about marrying me," I told Grandma as I ushered Ranger and Julie out the front door.

"What would you say to moving to Miami?" Ranger asked as we walked out to the Cayenne.

"Don't ask me that on a holiday," I told him. "I might be tempted to say yes. Does being around my family make you think twice about marrying me?"

"Don't ask me that on a holiday," Ranger asked with a smirk. "I might actually say no."

I grabbed a hardened chunk of snow from the top of Valerie's car and threw it at Ranger, hitting him on the back. He turned around slowly and looked at me, giving me a look that almost made me wet myself.

"Really, babe?" he asked, walking towards me. I had just registered his hand moving towards the car when a chunk of snow hit me on the chest.

"Ah!" I shrieked. I instinctually grabbed for another chunk of snow, but paused when Ranger was hit in the chest with a snowball. We looked over to see Julie smiling widely.

"What? We don't get snow in Miami," she said, shrugging.

"You exist because of me," Ranger said. "You shouldn't hit your maker with a snowball."

"Okay," Julie said, as though that were perfectly acceptable logic. "I'll hit Stephanie instead."

Julie was fast to pick up a snowball and toss it in my direction, hitting me in the shoulder.

"Hey!" I said, tossing the chunk of snow at her. "Not fair! I brought you up here."

"Don't hit my child with snow," Ranger said, throwing another snowball at me. I retaliated, and was hit with another snowball from Julie.

"Don't throw snow at my dad," she said, giggling.

"So, basically, the only person who can get hit is me?" I asked, trying to look wounded.

Ranger and Julie glanced at each other. "Yes," they said in unison as they both started pelting me with snowballs.

I shrieked and covered my head with my hands, laughing. It didn't take long for me to be wet and cold.

"Don't mess with the Manosos," Julie said, heading towards the Cayenne. "You'll never win."

Ranger came over and started brushing snow off my coat and out of my hair. "She has a point."

"Traitor," I said, pretending to pout. "Now I'm wet and freezing."

"I'll warm you up," he replied, tilting my chin up to kiss me.

"You guys are so gross," Julie groaned as she climbed in the car.


	38. Marry You

In the few days leading up to my wedding to Dickie Orr, I'd been anxious because I hadn't been entirely sure I was doing the right thing. I'd suspected he had cheated on me, but had no proof. I'd had the feeling that I wasn't as in love with him as I should have been. There had also been the stress of wedding planning, making sure everything was in place and nothing needed replaced last minute, along with dealing with my mother. It was completely the opposite experience with Ranger. The stress of not having to plan anything was a major relief, but the biggest relief of all was that I'd never been so sure about my feelings for anyone in my life, and marrying him was going to be the best decision I'd ever made.

Ranger had arranged for us to meet with the same jeweler that had designed my engagement ring right after Thanksgiving to choose our wedding bands. Over the summer, after both he and Tank had gotten engaged and another man in his office had gotten married, Ranger had decided to amend the jewelry protocol at his office to permit married men to wear their wedding bands as long as they were simple bands with no stones. This change had been well-received, as many of his men had gotten married since starting their job at Rangeman.

Ranger's wedding ring was a simple platinum band, while mine, which was made to match my engagement ring, had diamonds three-quarters of the way around the platinum band. The jeweler had sent them to us via a bonded courier the day after Christmas with instructions that if they didn't fit or were not what we had wanted that he could have them changed before New Year's Eve. Thankfully, they'd been exactly what we had planned, so no last minute changes were necessary. We had waited to apply for our marriage license until right after Christmas to avoid any blabbermouths at the Registrar's office spilling the beans to someone who knew us, but thankfully neither of us knew anyone in that office and the risk of the secret getting out seemed negligible.

When Ranger's alarm went off on New Year's Eve morning, my eyes flew open and I felt a rush of excitement course through me. I was getting married before the end of the day. I rolled over and snuggled into Ranger before he could climb out of bed.

"This is the last morning you'll wake up as a single man. Are sure you want to marry me? You only have a few hours left to change your mind."

"Tempting, but I've already spent quite a bit of time and money on you so it would be dumb not to get some return from my investment," he replied, smirking at me.

"Hilarious. If you ever get tired of the security business, you could take that act on the road."

"I need to get to work so that I can justify running off to get married this evening," he said, giving me a playful smack on the butt as he moved to sit up in bed.

"I know, I know," I told him, pulling the blankets back over me. "We need to leave by seven-thirty so we can get there on time, so get home in time to get ready. Traffic is going to be a nightmare on the Turnpike."

"Nagging me like a wife already," he said, leaning back to kiss me. "This shouldn't be a big adjustment for us after tonight."

It was difficult to not appear too excited in front of anyone as I did my routine of checking in at the office and stopping by my parents' house. Everyone was excited for the party that evening and even more eager to learn the wedding date. I promised them that they'd find about it that night and that I thought everyone would be happy with the date we'd chosen. Julie kept trying to guess the date all day, but I told her I wasn't saying anything. I'd nearly had a stroke when she had jokingly asked if we planned to get married at the party that night.

Ranger came home at six o'clock, just as I was starting to get ready. I'd told him to hurry up and get dressed, as I was going to banish him from the bedroom while I got ready. Since we wouldn't have the whole walk-down-the-aisle experience, I didn't want him to see me until I was completely put together in what I was going to wear when I married him. He had rolled his eyes at me, but had gotten dressed quickly and gone downstairs. Julie bounced back and forth between the office, my bedroom and the bathroom while she got ready, asking for my opinion on her hair, a different color of nail polish, and then nail polisher remover.

"Five minute warning, babe," Ranger said, knocking on the door an hour and a half later.

"I'll be down in a minute," I replied, giving myself a once over in the full length mirror on the bedroom wall.

In honor of becoming "Mrs. Ranger" as Lula had joked on more than one occasion, I'd gone with a black halter dress that I'd found at Macy's. It gathered slightly right under the bust with a matching silk band for some contrast while the hem fell to my knees in a slightly asymmetrical cut. I had a black clutch and strappy black heels to match. It wasn't an exceptionally smart outfit to wear during the winter, but I had a knee-length black wool coat that would keep me warm when we were outside and there wasn't any snow on the ground that would get my feet wet. My hair was pinned up in a loose bun with a few curls strategically left out, and my make-up was subtle. In keeping with tradition, I'd borrowed my Grandma Mazur's diamond bracelet, which was also doubling as my 'something old', my dress was my 'something new' and I wore my sapphire earrings as my 'something blue'. My personal assessment was that I looked pretty damn fantastic.

I smoothed out the skirt on my dress one last time, grabbed my purse and double checked that I had both wedding bands and the marriage license before I headed out of my bedroom and down the stairs. Ranger and Julie were waiting for me in the living, both pulling on coats. Julie was wearing a silver flapper-style dress and matching heels. As expected, Ranger was in a black suit with a black dress shirt and black tie.

"How do I look?" I asked as I approached him.

He gave me a very slow once-over. "Beautiful," he said, pulling me into him for a quick kiss.

"When I have kids someday…," Julie began, rolling her eyes at us.

"You'll embarrass them just as much," Ranger finished as he helped me into my coat.

The drive to Newark took longer than usual because everyone else in the state of New Jersey seemed to be going out for the evening. We pulled up at the restaurant at nine o'clock and left the Cayenne with the valet. Our coats were checked at the door and we headed into the restaurant, which had been closed to public for the evening because of the party. People were mingling around the room with appetizers and drinks in hand. They were catching up with family members they hadn't seen recently or were meeting members of the other family. Seating had been arranged at round tables with eight people per table. Ranger, Julie and I were sitting with my parents, Grandma Mazur, Lola and Javier at a table that was situated in the front of the room near an immaculately maintained aquarium that housed beautiful exotic fish and water plants. We made our way towards the middle of the room, where my parents were standing with Lola and Javier.

"It's about time you three arrived," Lola said, pulling me into a hug. "We were starting to wonder about the guests of honor."

"You look beautiful tonight, dear," my mother said, stunning me into silence for a beat. My mother so rarely complimented my appearance that it took me a minute to process what I had heard.

We were greeted by various friends and family members who came over to talk to us briefly before engaging our parents in conversation. Ranger grabbed my hand and guided me across the room to where a tall, thin Latino man was standing talking to Emilio and Lucy.

"This is the man that's going to marry us tonight," he said quietly as we approached.

"Carlos," the judge said, shaking Ranger's hand. "I've been looking for you."

"We just arrived," Ranger replied. "Stephanie, this is Judge Rafael Cruz. Rafael, this is my fiancée, Stephanie Plum."

I shook hands with Rafael while Emilio and Lucy excused themselves to go check on the entrees, which were due to be served at ten. Celia had informed me the day before that Ranger and I were expected to thank everyone for coming and to announce our wedding date and locale at nine-thirty, which was when everyone would be seated in preparation for the salad course.

"Thank you for agreeing to marry us tonight," I said in a low voice.

"It's my pleasure," Rafael said with a smile. "It's the least I could considering I spent a good part of my teenage years getting Carlos into trouble."

I gave Ranger a sideways glance. "Who do you think talked me into stealing a car at fourteen?" he asked, tilting his head in Rafael's direction.

I surreptitiously handed Rafael the marriage license, which he scanned quickly and pocketed. "I'll follow your lead as to when we will start everything. Did you write your own vows, or am I doing something standard?"

"Standard," I replied. Ranger and I had agreed that neither of us were exceptionally good at expressing feelings, nor were we comfortable being that personal in front of so many people. We already knew what we needed to know about our love for each other.

We moved on from Rafael as he was approached by more people from Ranger's old neighborhood and found Aurelia and John sitting at a table with Sofia and Tony. Sofia was offering Aurelia pregnancy advice while John texted on his cell phone and Tony knocked back a glass of champagne. We accepted our own glasses from a passing server.

"No kids tonight?" Ranger asked as we approached Tony.

"Nope, hired a babysitter for the night and have a hotel room booked upstairs," Tony replied, looking ecstatic. "It's sad how excited we are for a night of sleep without someone waking us up because they need a drink of water, which they later pee out in their bed."

"Tony, stop that," Sofia said, smacking her husband on the arm. "You're going to make them not want to have kids. It's not that bad. If it were, do you think we'd be on number five?"

"The only reason we're on number five is because the condom broke," Tony muttered quietly, making me choke on the sip of champagne I'd just taken. Ranger shook his head and guided me away from the table before we heard about any more contraceptive failures.

Celia, Lucy and Lola had started working their way through the room, ushering people to their seats so that everyone was seated by nine-thirty on the dot. I had butterflies in my stomach and was bouncing a knee under the table. Ranger put a hand on my knee to stop it from moving and leaned in close to whisper in my ear.

"Are you nervous?"

"No, just excited," I whispered back, giving him a kiss. "Okay, maybe I'm a little nervous, but not about getting married. I'm just nervous to announce it to everyone."

Ranger nodded his understanding and held one of my hands while we awaited Celia's indication that we should begin speaking. I kept thinking that she might have missed her calling as an Army General, directing the troops to where they needed to go.

"Thank you everyone for coming tonight," Celia said, standing a few feet away from us in the front of the room. The room fell silent and took a deep breath in anticipation. Ranger had informed me that since I was better at speaking to other humans I should be the one to do the speaking at the party. I had tried to argue that he was a successful C.E.O, but he had informed me that his skills as a C.E.O. wouldn't be effective with this crowd.

"I'm happy you all could be here this evening, not only to ring in the New Year with us, but to celebrate the fact that my baby brother Carlos has found the woman of his dreams and is finally settling down," Celia continued, which was met with a round of applause and several _awws_.

"The woman of your dreams, huh?" I asked Ranger, smiling at him.

"Celia likes to exaggerate," he responded.

"Jerk."

"First the nagging, now the name-calling," Ranger said, shaking his head. "You're a fast learner."

I elbowed him in the side as Celia indicated that I would informing everyone of when we planned to get married so that they could save the date ahead of time. Ranger squeezed my hand supportively as I stood up to face the room at-large. Our friends and families were all mixed together at the various tables, all staring at me expectantly. Our parents looked up at me excitedly while Julie struggled not to bounce in her seat. I blew out a sigh before I started speaking, asking God to help me not pass out or throw up.

"Hi everybody," I said nervously. "Um, thank you for coming this evening. We are very excited to be able to celebrate with you tonight. I know you all have been anxious for us to set a wedding date."

"Yes, we have," Lola and my mother commented at the exact same time, making everyone in the room laugh.

"Well, I am very excited to tell you that Carlos and I have decided to get married in Newark, and since the people we love are already here, we've decided to do it tonight," I said, and a collective gasp went through the room. "The Honorable Judge Rafael Cruz has agreed to officiate for us this evening so for your pre-dinner enjoyment, we will be getting married."

Applause and cheers rang out through the room. Our mothers and grandmothers all started crying with joy and Julie shrieked with delight. I saw Rafael stand up and make his way towards the front of the room, and Ranger stood up next to me and pulled out my chair.

"Are you ready?" I asked him as I pulled out wedding rings out of my purse and moving my engagement ring to my right hand.

"As I'll ever be," he replied, grabbing my hand and pulling me towards the front of the room.

"Ladies and gentleman, we are _surprisingly_ gathered here today to witness the marriage of Ricardo Carlos Manoso and Stephanie Anne Plum. They will give and receive rings as demonstrations of their vows to join together into one life and love," Rafael said, his voice ringing out through the quiet room.

Ranger and I were standing in front of Rafael, holding hands and standing close. I could only imagine what was going through his head, but mine was filled with the joy that I was finally marrying the man I loved and telling myself that I wasn't going to cry.

"Ricardo Carlos Manoso, do you take Stephanie Anne Plum to be your wife, and do you promise to love, honor, cherish, and protect her, forsaking all others and holding only unto her for as long as you live?"

"I do," Ranger said with absolute certainty as he slipped my wedding band on to my left hand.

"Stephanie Anne Plum, do you take Ricardo Carlos Manoso to be your husband, and do you promise to love, honor, cherish, and protect him, forsaking all others and holding only unto him for as long as you live?"

"I do," I said clearly, sliding his wedding band onto his left hand. I bit my bottom lip to keep from bursting into tears. Ranger gave an ever-so-slight shake of his head. He found my emotional girl moments funny.

"If anyone in this room believes there is a reason that these two should not be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace," Rafael said, trying not to crack up as he added under his breath so that only Ranger and I could hear him. "But only if you're ready to die tonight."

No one said anything and Rafael spoke again. "That being said, by the authority invested in me by the state of New Jersey, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride."

Ranger pulled me into him and gave me a surprisingly demonstrative kiss, considering we were in front of a large group of people, and everyone clapped and cheered. Ranger wrapped his arms around me and rested his cheek against mine for a moment after we ended our kiss.

"I love you, babe," he whispered in my ear.

"I love you too," I replied, sniffling as a tear fell down my cheek.

"You almost made it," Ranger said, pulling back to wipe the tear away as our families started making their way towards us. Julie nearly bowled us over with her enthusiasm.

"I can't believe you did this!" she said, hugging Ranger. "This is so cool. I can't believe you actually got married." She moved on to hug me as well as Lola hugged Ranger.

"I can't believe it," my mother said, embracing me next. "You kids…"

I was hugged by my father, both of my grandmothers, Lola, Javier, both of Ranger's grandmothers, and all of our siblings before Lula and Connie made their ways up to us.

"Girl, you know how to surprise people," Lula said, hugging me so tightly that I was worried she might crack a rib. "I can't believe you planned all of this without telling us."

"It wasn't easy," I said as Lula released me, and Connie took her place. "I almost slipped up and told someone most days."

"And you," Lula said, pointing at Ranger. "You had better take care of my girl, or you'll have me to answer to."

"And all God's people said 'Amen'," Connie said as we tried not to crack up over Lula's bravado.

Dinner was served ten minutes late because of the uproar caused by the surprise wedding, but no one seemed to mind. The dinner was delicious, consisting of Caesar salad, arroz con pollo, green beans, and a delicious tiramisu for dessert.

Celia, armed with a camera that looked like it should belong to a professional photographer, subjected Ranger and me to an impromptu photo shoot to help us remember our wedding day after dinner was completed. She also included Julie in a few of the pictures before gathering both sets of parents for a larger photo.

"I thought the whole point of this was to _avoid_ all of the typical wedding stuff," Ranger said after we'd been taking pictures for almost thirty minutes.

"I don't mind taking a few pictures to help remember our wedding day," I replied as Celia declared the photo shoot over.

"Neither do I, but that was excessive."

"She's your sister. Do you think you could have stopped her?"

"No."

"Then why bother complaining?"

"Because I can't shoot anything."

As the clock got closer to midnight, people started migrating towards the bar, where big screen televisions were tuned to Times Square and the countdown began. At the stroke of midnight, everyone wished each a happy New Year and kissed their respective partners. Ranger tilted my head up and kissed me briefly. I could see his eyes were getting dark, which I interpreted to mean that he was ready to get out of there and get started on the traditional wedding night activities.

"Let's start saying our goodbyes and get out of here," I whispered in his ear. "I have plans for you tonight."

We headed over to our respective parents and bid them goodbye, telling them that we needed to get Julie home, plus Ranger was still going to work in the morning because he typically had several call-offs because men were too hung over to work safely. We thanked Celia and Lucy for all of the planning and work they put into the party, which had been terrific, and set out to find Julie. We saw her sitting at a table in the corner, playing with a piece of fringe hanging from her dress.

"Ready to leave?" Ranger asked her. Julie didn't meet Ranger's eye when she nodded, but stood up and grabbed her purse. We made our way out of the restaurant, which was slow work because people kept stopping us to congratulate us. As we reached the door, I noticed Silvia sitting in the lap of my cousin Phil. They were all over each other to the point that I felt like I should cover Julie's eyes.

"That's not the man Silvia showed up with," I told Ranger as we left. "In fact, I think I've seen her with a couple of different men this evening that weren't her date. Now she's making out with my cousin Phil, who's married with two kids."

"Katrina said Aunt Silvia's a slut," Julie commented as we reached the lobby.

Ranger looked conflicted as we stopped at the coat check. "You shouldn't say that, Julie."

"It's what Katrina said," Julie said quietly, again not looking him in the eye.

"Even if it's true, you shouldn't say it," Ranger told her, assessing this sudden change in Julie's usual exuberance. "Are you okay?"

She nodded as she accepted her coat. "Yeah, I'm just tired."

Ranger and I looked at each other, trying to figure out what was going on with her. I watched her as we walked out to the car, wondering if she possibly had gotten into some alcohol at the party, but she showed no signs of being intoxicated. She was quiet on the way back to the house, staring out the window the entire time. She looked scared and confused, even sad. She went upstairs as soon as we arrived back home an hour later, bidding us a quiet and hasty good night.

"What do you think is wrong with her?" I asked as we hung our coats in the closet under the stairs.

"Not sure," Ranger said. "I'll talk to her in the morning. I thought maybe she had gotten into some alcohol at the party, but I didn't smell it on her and she wasn't exhibiting any other signs of having something in her system."

"I thought about that too," I told him, making our way upstairs. "Maybe she's just tired and will be better in the morning."

We went into our bedroom and I immediately started taking the hairpins out of my hair. They were starting to give me a headache. While I was doing that, Ranger had started getting undressed, stripping down to nothing by the time I pulled the last pin out of my hair. He came up behind me, pushed my hair aside and started untying the knot at the base of my neck that kept my dress up. Once that was loose, he pulled the zipper down my back and let the dress fall in a pool at my feet. I turned around to face him, putting my arms around his neck and kissed him, pressing my almost-naked body into his. He guided me over to the bed and proceeded to remove my underwear and high heels before covering his body with mine. I put thoughts about Julie's sudden mood change aside in that moment and enjoyed making love with my husband.


	39. Brave

When we woke up the next morning, it was eight o'clock and the sky outside looked gray. Ranger had intended to go into work as usual, but Tank had sent him a text message at five that morning to say he would cover at the office and to consider that his wedding gift. He hadn't been at the party, but Lula had undoubtedly told him that we'd gotten married when she'd gone home.

We pulled on sweats and t-shirts and headed downstairs where Bob was laying on the couch next to Julie, who was watching the Game Show Network.

"I'm surprised you're up this early," I said to Julie. "We got in pretty late."

"I couldn't sleep," she muttered, continuing to watch the television. I glanced at Ranger, who nodded to say that he would talk to her, and I headed into the kitchen to start the coffee.

"What's wrong, Julie?" I heard Ranger ask. "You started acting strange last night."

"I don't want to talk about it," I heard Julie say.

"Would you rather talk to Stephanie about it?"

I didn't hear anything else for a couple of minutes, but then Ranger appeared in the kitchen wearing a hooded sweatshirt and black winter hat.

"She said she'd rather talk to you," he told me, grabbing Bob's leash. "I'll take Bob for a run so you can talk to her. Something is really wrong—Julie isn't like this. If she's upset, she's very vocal about it. This has me worried."

"I'll talk to her," I assured him. "You boys be careful running in case people are trying to drive home after a long night of drinking."

I headed to the living room as Ranger and Bob headed out the backdoor for their run. Julie hadn't moved from her spot on the couch, but had pulled her knees into her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs.

"What's up, Julie?" I asked, taking a seat next to her. "Your dad said you wanted to talk to me."

Julie had the same scared look on her face that she'd had on the ride home the night before.

"I—I heard something at the party last night that I wasn't supposed to hear," she said, looking like she might cry. "It was something I heard my grandma say to my grandpa."

"What was it?"

She hesitated, and I could see tears forming in her eyes. "Grandma was whispering to Grandpa in Spanish because I was close by, and I don't think she knows that I speak Spanish really well."

"What did you hear her say?" I pressed on, trying to figure out what could be bothering Julie so much.

"Grandma said she'd been worried that my dad might have PTSD because of what had happened to him last year. Grandpa said that my dad had been through a lot and that he had probably learned how to handle all sorts of bad things. Then Grandma said—she said that sexual assault wasn't something he was used to dealing with," she finished, looking like she might be sick. "Did that happen to my dad?"

I closed my eyes for a moment in an effort to not throw up. I knew Lola would have never intended for anyone to hear that information, but had probably not known how advanced Julie's Spanish was.

"It did?" Julie whispered, sounding horrified. "How did it happen?"

"I—I think, um, we need to wait and talk to him about this," I said to her, not sure what to do. I knew this was information Ranger would have never wanted Julie to learn and I could only imagine what his reaction was going to be. I stood up and went upstairs to grab my cell phone and dialed Ranger.

"Come back home," I told him when he connected. "We need to talk."

"What's wrong?" he asked immediately.

"I don't want to talk about it on the phone," I told him. "We'll talk in person. I'll meet you in the garage."

I disconnected, quickly pulled on sneakers and a sweatshirt, and went back downstairs.

"I'll just be in the garage if you need anything," I told Julie as I walked past her.

I had been standing in the garage for a couple of minutes when Ranger and Bob came in the side door. Ranger's expression was grim, and I knew he was imaging all sorts of horrors.

"Julie overheard your parents talking last night at the party about Somalia," I told him quickly. I thought it was just better to rip off the proverbial bandage. "They were whispering in Spanish because she was nearby, but apparently didn't realize that Julie's Spanish was good enough that she'd be able to understand them. She heard your mom say that she wondered if you had been suffering from PTSD from being sexually assaulted last year."

A look of anguish passed over Ranger's face and he leaned against the Turbo, rested his arms on the top of the car and laid his head on his arms. I could hear him taking deep breaths and slowly blowing them out. I walked over to him and cautiously put a hand on his back.

"Talk to me," I whispered.

Ranger didn't move or speak for almost five minutes, but when he finally stood upright again, I could see that he had been able to pull himself together and his expression was neutral.

"I can't believe Julie knows about this," he said, looking at the floor as he spoke. "She is the last person in the world that I want to know. I can't imagine what she's thinking."

"She loves you, but she's scared and confused and upset. You need to talk to her. I know Lola would have never meant for her to hear this. "

"I'm trying not to be mad at my mother," he said. "But it's difficult right now."

"I don't think she knew Julie's Spanish was so good," I reminded him. "Plus, she was whispering so she thought she wasn't going to be overheard by anyone."

We stood quietly in the garage for another few minutes while Ranger processed everything. I had absolutely no frame of reference for how to handle the situation, but I knew it couldn't be ignored. He eventually looked over at me and stroked my hair.

"Let's go talk to her."

We went in the back door and made our way to the living room. Julie hadn't moved from her spot on the couch and was focused on an episode of _Jeopardy._ Ranger picked up the remote control, turned off the television and sat down on the couch next to Julie. I took a seat in one of the nearby easy chairs, and Bob went up to lay on Julie's other side.

"Stephanie told me what you heard," he said quietly. His expression was neutral, his voice was calm and even, and he was watching Julie closely. She was focused on a spot on the hem of her shirt, avoiding eye contact . I saw a tear fall down her cheek after she played with a hanging string of thread.

"Is it true?"

"Yes," Ranger replied.

Julie looked up at him and wiped away the tears that had started falling more rapidly from her eyes.

"Why would someone do that you?"

Ranger looked thoughtful for a minute while he prepared to answer the question.

"Sometimes I do work for the government, like protecting people when they travel to dangerous countries," he began. "I was protecting someone in Somalia when we were captured by some people that didn't want us there. They held us for several days and tortured us. It was meant to humiliate and hurt me in an effort to wear me down so that I would give them any information they wanted."

"How did you get out of there?" Julie asked, sniffling as she tried to pull herself together.

"Army Special Forces rescued us."

"Are you okay?"

"I got out alive, and I recovered from my injuries here at home. I'm sorry you had to find out about this. I never wanted you to know."

"I was being nosey. I'll never do that again."

Ranger reached over and stroke Julie's hair as she reached for a tissue on the coffee table. After she blew her nose and wiped her eyes, she looked back at her dad again.

"Do you have PTSD? My counselor used to tell Mom and Dad that I might have it after I got kidnapped."

"Probably to some extent," Ranger replied after a moment's consideration. "But I'm dealing with it. Stephanie has helped me a lot this past year."

"You do a good job of hiding it if you do have it," Julie said. "I didn't know anything was wrong."

"It's been over a year now. It was hard to deal with in the beginning, but things are a little easier now."

"I remember how scary it was when I was kidnapped, but this is so much worse," Julie said. "I used to have nightmares that he was going to come back to get me, and I still get nervous when we go down the street where he picked me up. I'm lucky he didn't do anything like that to me. I'm sorry it happened to you. That's so awful."

Ranger pulled her into a hug and rested his chin on her head. "It's better that it happened to me instead of you."

They sat like that for a minute and didn't speak. I watched the entire exchange from my chair, amazed at what I was seeing. He might not see it, but Ranger had handled the situation incredibly well and had opened up to Julie in a way I hadn't thought possible for him. It may not seem like much to other people, but it was a huge step for him. Hearing Julie talk about her own experience with being held against her will had seemed to resonate with him. I had wondered how much they had talked about that experience with each other, but my guess was that they hadn't talked about it in-depth, if at all.

They pulled apart after a while and Ranger stroked Julie's hair once more. "I don't want you to worry about this. Do you have any more questions?"

Julie shook her head. "No, I feel a little better now that I know the truth and that you're okay. I won't tell my mom and dad if you don't want me to."

"I'll never ask you to keep a secret from your mom and dad," Ranger replied. "It's up to you whether you want to talk to them about it."

She nodded and I heard her stomach growl. "I'm hungry. I've been too nervous to eat."

"You probably wouldn't have found much anyway," I admitted. "I need to go to the store."

Julie fought a smile as she wiped away the last of her tears. "A lot of my friends have stepmoms. A lot of them can't cook, but none of them forget to go to the store."

"Ha, ha," I said as Ranger shook his head in mock disgust. "Keep it up and I'll have you scrubbing the kitchen floor, Cinderella."

I sent Julie upstairs to get showered and dressed with the promise of taking her out to breakfast afterwards. I moved over to the couch to sit next to Ranger. I put my arms around his shoulders and pulled him close. "How are you doing?"

"I feel like I've been kicked in the gut repeatedly," he admitted. "She handled it better than I expected."

"What did you expect?"

"That she'd ask why I let them to do that to me."

"But that didn't happen because she knows what I know—that you would be dead if you'd fought them too hard, and that you have nothing to be ashamed about. This was not your fault."

"I know," he said, sounding unconvinced.

I gave him a kiss and hugged him. "Do you want to go to breakfast with us?"

"I don't have much of a choice if I want to eat."

We went to a café in the Burg that served breakfast around the clock. It was a bit of a greasy spoon, but the food was great. Julie seemed better than she had been earlier in the day, but was still more subdued than usual. Ranger was his typical quiet self, though I could tell he was holding some tension around his eyes and mouth.

"I need to get some new clothes for our vacation to Costa Rica next week," I mentioned as we finished our meal. "Do you want to go shopping at Quaker Bridge Mall?"

"Sure," Julie said, "As long as you aren't buying any sexy lingerie. That's just gross. I saw my mom buy some over the summer when she thought I wasn't looking. Then she got pregnant."

I burst out laughing, and Ranger cracked a smile. "No, I need a new bikini and maybe some casual dresses. I hope I find some good sales."

"I could use some new school clothes," Julie mentioned, smiling slightly.

We looked over at Ranger, who looked like he would rather disarm a bomb than go to the mall with his wife and teenage daughter.

"Come on," I said, reaching over and squeezing his hand. "Live a little. Go shopping with us."

He looked ready to argue, but paused when Julie pulled on her pitiful daughter expression.

"Please?"

"It won't be that bad," I told Ranger as we walked into the mall. "You may even find something you need for our honeymoon."

"The only thing I plan on needing on our honeymoon is stamina," he replied in a low voice.

Julie and I hit the sales at the various stores while Ranger tried to remain invisible. He would lean against the wall outside the dressing rooms while we tried on clothes. Even standing in the women's department at Macy's, Ranger was intimidating enough that no one dared question him or give him a pitying glance.

He surprised me when we went into the bookstore, immediately wandering off in his own direction. I picked up a few magazines to read on the plane to Costa Rica, plus the newest _Bridget Jones_ book and _Gone Girl_ , which Connie had recommended to me. Ranger caught up with us at the counter, plunking down two very thick books from the nonfiction section.

"Wow," I commented as we headed out of the store. "Are you going to read those on our honeymoon?"

"I'm planning on it," Ranger said. "It's a vacation after all."

It was five o'clock by the time we arrived home. Ranger had made us stop at the grocery store on the way home so that we could actually eat dinner that night. He had stayed in the car to make a couple of phone calls, but had told me a few items that he wanted.

"It's only my first day as your wife, and so far I've sucked at it," I told Ranger that night as we climbed into bed. "The only reason we have food in the house and didn't have take-out for dinner is because you drove me to the store."

"I don't think that makes you a bad wife," he said, putting his arms around me and pulling me close. "I'm used to you not going to the store."

"How are you doing?" I asked. "Do you feel any better than you did this morning?"

"A little. It still makes me sick that Julie knows, but I've managed to stop being angry with my mother. I called her while you guys were in the grocery store and told her that Julie overheard her. She was upset and kept apologizing. I know she didn't intend for Julie to hear, but I wanted her to know that she has to be careful around Julie because she's nearly fluent in Spanish. Then I decided to call Rachel and tell her about it, in case it bothers Julie but she doesn't want to bring it up."

Whoa, that was unexpected. Ranger still struggled to talk about it with me, but reaching the point that he could tell his ex-wife about it was huge.

"I'm surprised you told her," I said. "You don't like anyone knowing."

Ranger shrugged. "I have to put Julie first. I hadn't thought about it before today, but she's been through some of the same problems I've had, though thankfully Scrog didn't physically hurt her. I'd rather live through Somalia again a million times than for her to have been molested."

I snuggled into Ranger's chest. "You're a really good father. Our children will be lucky to have you."

We were both quiet for a minute while we registered that comment. "Did I really just say that?"

"Yep."

"Where did that come from?"

"A biological drive to propagate the species."

"I'm serious. I can't believe those words just came out of my mouth," I said, feeling panic rise up in my chest. "I said them without thinking. Do you think that means I really meant them?"

"It's my experience that when you say something unintended, it's generally what you're really thinking," Ranger replied, stroking my back.

I groaned. "Great."

"Don't worry about it, babe."

I blew out a frustrated sigh. "Back to my original question."

"I'll be fine, Stephanie. It's just something I have to keep working through."

"What can I do?"

"You're already doing it. If it weren't for you, I would have been in a worse place after what happened, and I don't think I would have been able to get to where I am now."

I had a hard time going to sleep that night, knowing that Ranger was still struggling. I could tell he was still awake, but we didn't talk as the minutes passed. I eventually fell asleep, waking up at five when Ranger's alarm buzzed. I'd normally go back to sleep, but Julie and I needed to be out of the house by six-thirty in order to stop to pick up Grandma Bella on our way to the airport. Their flight back to Miami was leaving at nine-fifteen.

While Ranger showered and dressed, I got coffee started and began combing through the first floor for any of Julie's possessions. I found her iPod in the living room and a hooded sweatshirt in the laundry room, so I carried them up to her room and told her she needed to get up and start getting packed. While I was getting dressed, I heard Ranger go into the office to tell Julie goodbye. There hadn't been much contact between them when we'd been out shopping, and she had gone to bed early because she hadn't been able to sleep the night before. I knew that even though she could relax knowing that Ranger was doing better after his time in Somalia, she was still processing what she had heard. I couldn't imagine what it would be like to learn that my father had been sexually assaulted, but I knew it would be painful to think of him being hurt in that way.

I made it to the bond's office by eleven o'clock after getting Bella and Julie to the airport without incident. When we had stopped at Manoso's house, I'd seen Lola pull Julie aside to talk to her while I helped Bella get her suitcase out to the car. I wasn't sure what had been said, nor did I ask, but both of them had looked a little emotional as they said their goodbyes.

"Thank God you're here," Connie said as soon as I walked into the office that day. She looked panicked, which was unusual for her. "I need to talk to you."

"What's up?" I asked as I took a seat in front of her desk.

Connie looked around, presumably for Lula, before she spoke in a whisper. "I'm pregnant."

"Holy crap!" I said, nearly falling out of my chair. "Is there something in the water? Two of Ranger's sisters are pregnant as well."

"I don't know what I'm going to do," Connie said, putting her head in her hands. "This is a nightmare."

"Have you told Lester?"

"Not yet. I took a home test the other day, but kept telling myself it was a false positive. I went to the doctor today and she confirmed it."

"Do you want to have children?"

"Maybe? I don't know. But Lester and I have only been seeing each other for two months. We haven't even reached the 'where is this relationship going' question. We've just been having fun."

"Maybe you can talk to Lester about it. Find out where his mind is on your relationship and how involved he's willing to be if you decide to have the baby," I suggested.

Connie nodded absentmindedly. "Yeah, I'll do that. But please don't tell Lula. She told me the other day that when she went to the doctor to find out if she'd ever be able to have children and that the doctor didn't think it likely because of the injuries she sustained from being raped and beaten by Ramirez. She was actually upset about it. I felt bad for her."

I promised I wouldn't say anything, remembering a conversation I'd had with Lula a couple of years ago about how she would love to have a child, but that she hadn't been sure if it would be possible.

There hadn't been any skips to come in since New Year's Eve, so I talked to Connie a little longer before heading to my parents' house. Grandma was at the hairdresser when I arrived, but my mother and father were home. My father was watching an old western movie and my mother was making a shopping list.

"How's it going?" I asked, sitting down next to my mother.

"I'm getting to ready to go to the market. Are you almost ready for your trip?"

"Mostly. I just have to actually start packing stuff. I wanted to ask if you would take care of Bob while we are gone. He could come here or you could just come over to our house to let him out. I'd leave it up to you."

"Carlos told me he had someone to take care of the dog already," my mother said.

"Oh, he hadn't told me that," I said, confused. Who in the world would Ranger have asked to take care of Bob? "One less thing to worry about then."

I left to go home when my mother left for the market. I decided to start a list of things I needed to pack for the trip and to do some cleaning. While I was in the office stripping the sheets off of the sofa bed, I noticed two envelopes propped up against Ranger's computer monitor, one labeled _Dad_ and the other one _Stephanie_. I picked up the _Stephanie_ envelope and tore it open, pulling out a piece of folded computer paper.

 _Stephanie,_

 _Thank you for working it out with my mom so that I could come up to New Jersey for Christmas and to see you and my dad get married. This has been the best Christmas present I've ever gotten. You are a really good person, and I'm glad my dad married you. I'm sad that he got hurt last year, but I'm glad that you were here to help him. I still feel like I don't know him very well sometimes, but I know he probably doesn't like to talk about things when they bother him. He's kind of macho like that. I think you're a really good stepmom (even if you forget to go to the grocery store), and I think you'd be a good mom someday (I really want a baby brother or sister from you and my dad). Please come to Miami and see me sometimes when my dad comes down . I definitely want to come up for another visit this year._

 _Love, Julie_

I couldn't help but smile at Julie's letter. I was glad that Ranger had been able to cultivate a deeper relationship with her in the past three years. The fact that she thought I was a good stepmother in spite of the fact that I wasn't very good at the housewife stuff made me feel warm and fuzzy inside. I took Ranger's letter downstairs and left it for him on the kitchen island while I started doing a deep cleaning on the house so that it wouldn't start growing things while we were in Costa Rica. By the time Ranger arrived home at five-thirty, I had finished my cleaning and had a casserole in the oven.

"We both had letters waiting for us in the office," I told him, pointing to his letter on the island.

Ranger opened his letter and read it while leaning against the kitchen counter. Ranger's expression was neutral as he read it, though I saw a small smile play on his lips towards the end.

"What did yours say?" Ranger asked, handing me his own letter.

"It's on the coffee table," I told him. "She basically told me how fantastic I am."

He opened his mouth to make a comment, but was interrupted by his cell phone's ring. While he took the call, I read the letter Julie had left for him.

 _Dad,_

 _It was really scary to hear about the things that happened to you, but I'm glad you are doing better. You could have lied to me about what happened, but you didn't and that makes you a really great dad. I wish I could have saved you the way you saved me when I was kidnapped, but I'm glad the Army got you out of there. I'm sorry that sometimes I've been mad at you for not being around more, but I've realized that you must have had your reasons. You're a good person, and I'm really glad I got to spend Christmas with you. I've always wondered what you did at Christmas. I was so happy when you and Stephanie got married at the party. I really like her and think she is a great stepmom. She makes you happy and I'm glad you have her. I always thought you seemed lonely. I love you. I hope you know that._

 _Love, Julie_

I felt my throat constrict a little at Julie's letter. She may only be thirteen, but she was pretty insightful.

"I love that kid," I told Ranger when his call ended. "She's pretty great."

"Yeah, she is," he said, giving me a kiss on the forehead. "Has Bob eaten his dinner?"

"I just fed him, but that does remind me of something I need to ask you. What are you doing with Bob while we are in Costa Rica? I had asked my mom about keeping him, but she said that she'd already talked to you and you had it covered."

"He's staying with Tank and Lula," he replied, grabbing a bottle of water from the refrigerator.

"You're kidding, right? How did you talk them into keeping him? What if he doesn't get along with Tank's cats? I don't want Tank to kill him."

"Why do you think I agreed to be his best man at his wedding? I didn't do it out of the goodness of my heart."

"Geez, Ranger. You really are a mercenary."

"I'll do anything for the right price."

I put my hands on my hips and glared at him. "So what is the price of being married to me?"

Ranger just smiled and headed upstairs.


	40. Paradise

"This is amazing," I told Ranger, trying to pick my jaw up from the floor. He had booked us into a private villa at the Four Seasons Costa Rica that was built into the hillside and overlooked the Pacific Ocean. It had vaulted ceilings in the living room with ash colored floors, cream furniture with accent pillows with black designs, and wooden tables. The bedroom also had vaulted ceilings, a king-sized four-poster bed, and two large windows that overlooked our private pool and cabana. The en suite was done in marble with a large soaking tub, two-person shower, and a spectacular view of the ocean from the bathtub.

"It's nice," Ranger commented. "It reminds me of where we stayed in Hawaii."

There was also a small kitchenette with stainless steel appliances, cherry cabinets, and marble countertops. A peek in the cabinets showed that it was stocked with everything except food. There were small bottles of booze in the refrigerator.

"According to the information packet, there are four restaurants and we can either eat there or have food brought to the room. We can also place a grocery order if we want to cook," Ranger informed me as he went through the binder we'd received at the check-in counter.

I'd skimmed through the binder as we'd driven up to the house by a resort staffer and also knew that there was a gym, full-service spa, a golf course, fitness classes, snorkeling, and two amazing beaches.

I opened the French doors that led to the cabana and took in the spectacular view. I couldn't have planned a more perfect vacation myself.

"I can see why you love Costa Rica," I told Ranger when he joined me outside. "Thank you for doing this."

"It's my pleasure," he replied, wrapping his arms around my waist and leaning in to kiss my neck. "Speaking of pleasure, let's go christen that bed."

We headed down to one of the resort's restaurants that evening, having thoroughly christened the bed _and_ shower in our villa. The restaurant was one of the more casual bar-and-grill type establishments that the resort offered for the nights when you didn't want to get dressed up. The restaurant had both indoor and outdoor dining areas, and there was a dance floor next to the outdoor dining room, all of which overlooked the ocean. We were seated outside next to the dance floor and given menus. The server asked what our name was and took note so that the dinner could be billed to our room. We perused the menus in silence for a few minutes before the server came over to take our orders.

"Welcome, Mr. and Mrs. Manoso. My name is Luis. I am your server this evening. How are you enjoying Costa Rica?"

"Very well, thank you," Ranger replied. I knew he wouldn't want to chit-chat with the server.

I ended up ordering the filet mignon, which came with seasoned rice and vegetables, while Ranger ordered the fish that had been caught that day. He also ordered a bottle of red wine.

When the server left with a flourish of good manners, he once again referred to us as Mr. and Mrs. Manoso. That got my mind to turning. Did I want to change my last name? I hadn't even thought about it before Ranger and I got married. When I'd gotten divorced from Dickie Orr, I'd taken back my maiden name, swearing that if I ever got married again I'd never change it. But that had been long before I'd met Ranger.

"You're a million miles away, babe," Ranger said, interrupting my thoughts.

"Oh, sorry. Did you say something?" I asked.

"No, I just recognized that far-off look in your eyes. What were you thinking about?"

I hesitated for a beat. I wasn't sure if this conversation would go well. I still had a hard time gauging Ranger on some issues. I knew he was confident in our relationship and my love for him, but he'd made it clear in the past that being his meant _really_ being his. Would he put up a fight if I decided to stay Stephanie Plum?

"Would it bother you if I didn't take your last name?"

Ranger didn't respond immediately, but watched me for a few seconds with his typical neutral expression.

"It's just a name, Stephanie. It doesn't change anything. You're still my wife whether you take my name or not," he replied as the server brought the bottle of red and two wine glasses to our table. I didn't respond until the man had poured our drinks and left again.

"It's not that I don't want your last name. I just—," I broke off, not really sure of what I wanted to say. "I'm just thinking about it."

"It's your choice, Stephanie. I want you to be happy with the decision you make."

I studied him for a minute, realizing that he never actually gave me an answer about his feelings on the matter. He hadn't said that it wouldn't hurt him, he'd just said it wouldn't change anything. The fact that he didn't say anything on his feelings spoke volumes to me. But I didn't bring up the subject again, not wanting cast a pall over our first evening in paradise.

I was stunned during our meal when Ranger poured himself a third glass of wine. He never drank more than one glass, and he usually didn't even finish it. I had stopped halfway through my second glass, as I wanted to stay conscious enough to be able to dance after dinner.

"Will you be able to dance after you've had that much to drink?" I joked as Ranger finished the last dregs of wine. "I've never seen you drink so much before. I'm not sure where your tolerance level is."

A small smile played on Ranger's lips. "My tolerance level is higher than yours, especially when it comes to wine. I need hard liquor to start getting drunk."

"Good to know," I commented. Maybe I could tempt Ranger with some of the little bottles of alcohol that were in the refrigerator back in our villa at some point during the vacation. He would never do that at home because of always being on-call for work, but perhaps he could be persuaded on a night when it was a guarantee that he wouldn't have any further responsibilities.

After we finished our dinner, we spent an hour lost in conversation out on the dance floor. It had been refreshing to see Ranger in a different element. The three glasses of wine had relaxed him a little bit, making him more talkative than usual. As we danced, I managed to get him to talk about his high school days. It was so surreal to hear him talk about normal experiences like going to the prom, playing on the varsity soccer team and being valedictorian of his graduating class. I hadn't been surprised to learn he'd been at the top of his class because he was so intelligent, but because of his history in Newark I'd expected that he'd been more of a 'slacker-genius'. Even in bed that night, Ranger was more vocal and emotional as we made love. It was a nice change from what I was used to seeing, even though I knew it wouldn't last forever.

I convinced Ranger to go on a guided tour of the nearby national park the next day. We'd been supplied with bottles of water, snacks and hand-held fans as our guide led us through the dense forest. Ranger was unimpressed, having spent plenty of time in third-world rainforests with only a knife, rope and a stick of gum to help him survive, but I was amazed by the wildlife and beauty of the park. Much to Ranger's chagrin, I'd turned into a shutterbug while we were on vacation. I snapped photos of the view from our villa, the various plants and animals in the park, and had asked other tourists to take a few pictures of Ranger and me together while we were out. I wanted to be able to show people that we did something other than stay in bed all day while we were on our honeymoon. I also introduced Ranger to theconcept of the _selfie_ , which he found simultaneously hilarious and annoying, especially because I would take at least three or four each day, usually while we were hanging out by the pool.

Ranger, being the health-conscious nut that he is, went to work out at the resort's gym every morning. By the time I would roll out of bed, he'd already made it back to our villa, showered, made coffee and would be sitting by the pool reading a book. I'd made fun of him the first time I found him like that, saying that I'd thought I'd come on my honeymoon with my badass husband, not some nerdy beach bum. His choice of reading material consisted of a biography of an Olympic hopeful turned World War II soldier who lived through captivity and severe torture, and the autobiography of a former U.S. president. Not exactly light reading.

We got into the habit of ordering breakfast in our room, but having lunch and dinner in one of the resort's restaurants. By the fifth day, I was absolutely spoiled. It made me want to ask Ranger if Ella could come work at our house full-time.

"You're pretty good at this vacation thing," I told Ranger on the sixth morning of our stay. "When was the last time you took a vacation?"

He had been reading by the pool, so I squeezed onto the lounge chair with him while he considered my question. He was shirtless, wearing black shorts, and had quite a bit of beard growth going since he hadn't shaved since the day we left Trenton.

"My last actual vacation was back in college when Diana and I went to her father's house in the Bahamas over spring break," he answered. "The closest thing I've had to a vacation since then was the two weeks we spent in Hawaii."

"Which resulted in you breaking a bone in your hand and get stitches in your face."

"Don't forget that you stunned me on the back of the neck."

"Well, you both deserved it. You could have stopped Morelli from hitting you, but instead you retaliated."

"It'd been a long time coming. We needed to get it out of our systems."

Massive eye roll. Men.

While Ranger placed our breakfast order, I checked my cell phone and found that I had a text message from Lula. It turned out to be a picture of Bob laying on their couch and the cats were cuddled up against him. All of them were asleep. I noticed had attached a message to the picture.

 _ **Your dog is a damn traitor. I was counting on him to eat the stupid cats, not fall in love with them.**_

"Maybe we should get Bob a cat," I suggested to Ranger when he disconnected from the room service people. "Look how much he seems to love Tank's cats."

He checked out the photo and shook his head. "No cats. You can't train a cat. They do whatever the hell they want. You don't own them, they own you."

"So a cat is just the animal version of you?"

"Pretty much."

After breakfast, I talked Ranger into going to the beach, which was a five-minute walk downhill from our villa. There were lounge chairs positioned randomly along the beach, allowing us the option of sitting in the sun or the shade. My skin had been on the constant verge of burn the entire time we'd been in Costa Rica, despite my liberal applications of sunscreen, so I requested that we sit in the shade. I noticed all of the women in our area checking out Ranger as he stripped off the t-shirt he'd thrown on before we'd left the villa. I could have sworn I saw several nipples harden as their eyes combed his perfect body, which was even more gross than usual because most of the women were old enough to be his mother.

"You have a fan club," I informed him as we took our seats.

"Ignore them," Ranger said, not looking up from his book at the group of women who were not even trying to hide the fact that they were checking out my husband.

"It's hard to do when they're being so obvious about it. What if a group of men were checking me out like that?"

"They can look all they like. It's if they touched you that they'd be signing their death certificate."

A resort staffer came over to ask if we would like a drink as I stripped out of the dress I'd worn to cover up my bikini. I ordered a strawberry daiquiri while Ranger had a beer. I glanced over at the group of women again and gave them what I hoped was a smug expression.

There were a few kids running around the beach, closely monitored by parents who were probably asking themselves why they'd brought young children to a five-start resort. It made me think about Connie and Lester. She'd broken the news to him the day after she'd talked to me. Ranger and I had just finished dinner when Connie had called my phone. She'd told Lester that she was pregnant, but before she could ask him about his intentions he had passed out and hit his head on the coffee table. We had gone over to Connie's house and checked on Lester, who had started to regain consciousness by the time we arrived. Ranger had hauled him up and taken him outside for fresh air. I hadn't been sure what they'd talked about, but Lester had seemed slightly less dazed when he came back inside. Connie had told me right before we left that Lester was actually excited to be having a baby, even if it wasn't the best timing. Connie was supposed to be meeting his daughter the next weekend, as he wanted them to get to know each other and for him and Connie to further develop their relationship. He intended to move in with Connie before the baby was born. She was apprehensive both about becoming a mother and being in a committed relationship again after her disastrous marriage, but I knew she'd manage. She had always been more of an adult than me.

"How has Lester been doing with the baby news?" I asked Ranger after a while. "I know Connie said that once the shock wore off, he'd actually been excited about it."

"That's more than I know. Men don't usually talk about these things anyway, and everyone in my building is even less inclined to do so than the average man," he replied.

"What did you say to him when you took him outside at Connie's house? He seemed a little better once you two came inside."

"I told him that he needed to do what was best for his child, and that was all he could truly do in the end. The rest was something that he and Connie would have to figure out together."

I had a feeling that Ranger wasn't telling me the entire story, but I didn't push him on it. Some things were better left unsaid.

By the time we left the beach at two that afternoon, Ranger and I were both somewhere on the drunken spectrum. I was wobbly as we walked back up to our villa, having had three daiquiris without any lunch. Ranger had switched to tequila after his second beer and wasn't having any obvious difficulties walking, but had been talking much more than he usually did. He had been making me laugh as he regaled some of his funnier experiences from his time in the Army and in his early days of doing bond enforcement.

"I can't believe you actually fell into a dumpster!" I replied, tears streaming down my face.

We had just made it back to our villa when Ranger had dropped that little jewel into my lap. I was holding onto the doorframe and had my other arm wrapped around my waist as I doubled over laughing.

"Yeah, it wasn't my best moment," he replied, smiling widely. "And if you think the dumpsters in Trenton are bad, try the dumpsters in Bogotá. The only reason my unit didn't give me a dumpster-related nickname was because they knew I would have slit their throats in their sleep if they tried."

"You're really fun when you're drunk," I said, grabbing Ranger by his t-shirt and pulling him into me. "And that makes you even sexier than you already are."

"Babe, I'm not _that_ drunk. I'm just very relaxed."

"You're drunk."

"I'm not drunk. When I'm really drunk, all I want to do is fuck."

I wobbled over to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. There were several different types of alcohol available in little bottles. I selected a couple of the bottles of tequila, shut the door and walked back over to Ranger, shoving the bottles into his hands.

"Drink up, soldier."

Half an hour and two tequilas later, Ranger began giving me a demonstration of his drunken sexual prowess. He pinned me up against the living room wall and pulled my bikini bottoms off from under the cotton cover-up I'd worn back from the beach. He knelt on the floor as he helped me step out of them. I had been expecting that he would stand back up again, but was surprised when he threw one of my legs over his shoulder and his head disappeared under my skirt. I groaned loudly as he worked his magic with his tongue and two fingers, finding the exact spot that would have me coming in no time. I grabbed onto the nearby table to help myself stay upright as I felt an orgasm release in my body. I cried out loudly, grinding against him as my body spasm. I felt Ranger groan and shudder underneath me and I vaguely wondered if he was struggling to support my weight against the wall.

"Shit," Ranger said as he gently removed my leg from his shoulder.

"What?" I asked breathlessly. "I thought that was pretty damn fantastic."

"It _was_ pretty damn fantastic," he replied as he stood up from the floor. "Unfortunately _pretty damn fantastic_ is too much for me when I'm drunk."

I gave him a questioning look for a minute before glancing down at his shorts. Even though they were black, I could tell he no longer had an erection and that there was a wet spot in the area of his crotch.

"You mean that you —,"

"Yes."

I opened my mouth to say that it was okay, but somehow laughter came out instead. I doubled over laughing for the second time in an hour, though Ranger didn't join in on the laughter that time around. He crossed his arms over his chest as he watched me try to pull myself together. Despite the fact that he was drunk and had just come in his pants like a teenage boy, he was still incredibly intimidating.

"I'm sorry," I gasped. "I'm sorry. I'm not laughing at you, just at the situation."

"The situation _is_ me, but go ahead and laugh anyway. You wanted me to get drunk. You'll just have to take the good with the bad."

"Is that the only bad thing?"

"There's only one way to find out."

There were several ways to find out, which included him bending me over the back of the sofa, me riding him on one of the lounge chairs by the pool, and going to town on the dining room table a la Dickie Orr and Joyce Barnhardt. Ranger's stamina slowly improved with each session as the alcohol began leaving his body, though he'd had to make it up to me on more than one occasion when he simply hadn't been able to hold out any longer. Not that I was complaining. It was worth a couple of premature ejaculations to see Ranger so carefree and relaxed. The sex was playful, and he was more expressive than I'd ever seen him, describing how it felt to be inside me and how much he loved me. He smiled more often than I'd ever seen in such a short period of time, and in between romps he would hold me close while we discussed any subject that came to mind.

The last few days of our vacation seemed to pass by quickly, and I was more than disappointed to have to pack my suitcase the night before we were due to leave. We opted to have dinner brought to us that evening so that we could enjoy the sunset from our cabana while we ate dinner.

"This has been glorious," I told Ranger as we ate. "It has been great to be able to spend so much time with you without worrying about work. I'm sad that we have to head home and back to our normal lives in the morning."

"Yes, it has been nice," he agreed. "It's been strange to not work for ten days, but I've enjoyed the time away. It's good preparation for the future."

"What do you mean?"

"After Tank got married, he and I sat down to discuss the future. He typically works fifty hours a week, sometimes sixty, and I usually work between seventy and eighty hours a week. We agreed that since we were both settling down that we needed to work on a new plan for our jobs. The company as a whole runs very smoothly and the Trenton office does very well. We started looking at our schedules and what protocols we needed to put in place to allow us the ability to have more time away from the office without impacting productivity. Tank and I almost always work the same shifts, so we figured that we could be more effective by staggering the hours that we both work, which would allow us both to have a life but would leave at least one of us there during the busiest hours. We've also developed an on-call rotation for the entire field office. That way, Tank and I aren't the only ones who have to pick up an extra shift if someone needs off. We'll have two people on-call at any given time and that will rotate so that every man in the field office is only on-call for one day of the month."

I had been listening to Ranger talk with rapt attention and my fork had been suspended in mid-air for a solid two minutes.

"What does that mean for your schedule?" I finally asked as the initial shock wore off.

"I'm going into work at seven and will be home by five Monday through Friday. On Saturdays, I will be in the office from seven until one, and I won't go into the office on Sundays at all unless I happen to be on-call that day. If absolutely necessary, I can do some paperwork or monitoring from the computer at home. I'll still work between fifty and sixty hours a week, but it's less than I've been working for the past six years."

"All of this because we got married?"

"All of this because I want to spend more time with you and make sure that our relationship is solid. Plus, if we decide to have children someday it's better to have a schedule like this already in place."

I felt tears start to well up in my eyes. Ranger had put so much of his blood and sweat into building his company and to make it successful that to see him pull back because he wanted to be sure that our marriage didn't suffer for the sake of Rangeman showed me even more just how much he loved me. If someone had told me two years ago that not only would Ranger and I actually pursue a romantic relationship, but that we'd get to the point of marriage and that he would actually start working less in order to have some semblance of a normal life, I would have laughed myself into an asthma attack and would have recommended that they head straight to the looney bin. To see something so surreal become my reality was a bit of overwhelming, but in a good way.

"I love you," I told Ranger. "I can't believe you're willing to do all of this for us, but I'm grateful."

His mouth curved into a small smile, but his eyes were serious. "Stephanie Plum is more important than Rangeman. Don't ever think otherwise."


	41. Epilogue- In Her Eyes

_A/N: We'll leave the story with Ranger's POV._

 _ **I need to tell you something: I'm in love with you. I have been for a long time, and I'm done letting you push me away. Get back home safely, and come see me when you're ready.**_

It had been two years to the day that I'd received that message from Stephanie on my voicemail. I had saved the voicemail after listening to it several times in the Newark airport. And every time my voicemail had prompted me that I either needed to re-save the message or delete it, I would save it. Those words changed my life drastically, and I never wanted to forget the sound of her voice as she said them for the first time. Her tone had been resolute when she'd called, and I had wondered what motivation had pushed her to that point in that exact moment. But I hadn't questioned her. I had the woman that I'd been in love with for years finally willing to commit to me—only me— and I wasn't pulling away from her. I had listened to that voicemail from time to time, especially if I weren't able to see Stephanie for a few days.

Stephanie had taken me by surprise on our honeymoon when she'd asked if I would be upset if she didn't take my last name. I'd left the decision to her, never wanting to influence her only to have her resent me for it in the future, but it had bothered me. I hadn't been sure why she _wouldn't_ want my last name, but I hadn't pushed the issue. She had made amazing strides in overcoming her commitment issues, but nothing was perfect. The name thing seemed to be a lingering reminder of that. I had fully expected that she would either tell me she wasn't changing her name or would simply keep Plum without bringing the issue up again.

I had been surprised one day in March when she asked me to check out her new driver's license photo. She had never updated her license with her new address, despite having moved almost two years prior. I hadn't been expecting that not only had she updated her address, but she had changed her last name to Manoso. I had stared at the license for a minute, not registering her new picture but her new name.

"What made you change your mind?" I'd asked her after a moment.

She had said that she liked my last name, had appreciated the fact that I hadn't pressured her to change her name even though she could tell I wanted her to do so, and because she wanted it to be obvious that we were married. She didn't want to make people think there was any uncertainty in our relationship by not changing her name. I had made love to her right there on the living room floor after that conversation.

I was sitting in the office at the house reviewing quarterly reports from my accountants while Stephanie was getting ready to leave for Connie's baby shower. Business had been great even after I'd sold out the Boston and Atlanta offices. I had been talking to Stephanie about the possibility of opening a Newark office to serve both Newark and New York City because of the increased demands I'd been receiving from potential residential and commercial clients in the area. She had been very supportive of the idea, even though it meant that I would need to work up there quite a bit to get the office up and running. She had said she would help out in whatever capacity I could use her in, as she knew I would always support her goals and she wanted to support mine.

"I'm leaving," she said, coming into the office with a large pink gift bag in hand. "You and Bob are on your own for lunch."

"We'll manage," I replied, kissing her when she leaned over the back of the chair. "Is _have fun_ the right thing to say in regards to a baby shower?"

"Eh, kind of," she replied. "Mostly it's a bunch of women _oohing_ and _ahhing_ over miniature clothes and baby supplies, making guesses of how big the baby will be, when it will be born, and writing down comments Connie makes while she opens the gifts that could have also been uttered the night the baby was conceived."

"What could you possibly say at a baby shower that you might also say in the throes of passion?"

"Things like 'I didn't know something so small could be so cute' or 'how does that fit in there'. Stupid stuff like that."

I shook my head. "I thought men were bad about that type of thing."

"Oh they are, it's just a little different with women," Stephanie said, running her hand along my shoulders as she left the room. "Love you."

"Love you too," I replied to her retreating back.

Getting married and settling down had certainly changed me. My men still respected and feared me, but I knew that for the first time they also saw me as a human being. I had definitely been domesticated: I walked the dog every morning, got the coffee started before I left for work, helped Stephanie clean the house on Saturdays, and had gotten so used to wearing a wedding band that I didn't even notice its pressure now. I was even imaging what life would be like if we made the decision to have children one day.

Any enemies of mine that hadn't known about Stephanie before we got married now knew she was my wife, but so far there hadn't been any threats against her. I knew that there would always be that risk, but that risk had been present even before we'd been married or even an official couple. That had always been one of the reasons I'd said I would never get married, but like almost everything else in my life, my love for Stephanie had made me change my ways. I could spent an unlimited amount of time focused on the ways I'd made myself more vulnerable by falling in love and settling down, but I was choosing instead to focus on the ways it had made me a better person.

It was all just a matter of perspective.

 **A/N: Thank you for reading and I hope you all enjoyed the re-release of this story! I'll be working on my re-release for one of my other multi-chapter stories very soon.**


End file.
